Blue Hour ☽

Starting Fights

I almost think I hate myself
I started a fight
just to get out of the room
Left to smoke in the bathroom
Came back
and made the fight worse
I took my medication
but I need something to stop me
from these outbursts
I'm really angry at myself
After all I'm fighting myself
The prescriptions help
until I'm screaming at ceilings
Dark feelings, Gods disgust,
hating myself
I gotta stop now but once I
start I can't stop
Ambulance sirens until I get help
Covered in red
Culprit, perpetrator, wanted
Most hated woman
Burning my lungs screaming
People never understand me
when I'm the one in red
Bloody Carrie, Bloody Mary
I'm scared of myself
Starting fights at night
In the dark I'll go to sleep
just fine while the universe hates me
I tried manifestation
but for every good deed
the cosmos sent back hatred
Energy wasted
Belief is hard to achieve
Don't talk to me about that
It's late and I'm mad
I don't want to start fights
but you fucking laughed
Threatened I turned red
Why do you have to be right?
When all is done and said
there will be no more
light