i woke up happy and sad because the other day i had a make out session with bill and later on tom asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes
i hope i made the right choice but we'll see in the future i guess
i was sitting on my bed just staring at the wall zoning out till my phone was ringing
"hello?"
"hey babe"
"oh hey tom"
"what you doing later today?"
"nothing special why?"
"i'm taking you somewhere wear something comfortable"
ooh i wonder what he's going to do
"where are you taking me?"
"it won't be a surprise anymore if i tell you"
i knew tom was smirking over the phone
"well i can't wait bye handsome"
and with that i hung up without him saying anything
wait he never said what time now i gotta call him again i ringed his number
"yes baby?"
"what time?"
"7:30 pm be ready by then"
"ok bye handsome i love you" and with that i hung him cutting his words
"ok bye l-"
i think it's still too early saying 'i love you' to someone you just started dating the day before
i got up from bed i put on my slippers and went to the bathroom i saw my speaker and i got happy that i got to play my music
i put on better off dead by sleeping with sirens (pretend they existed 2007)
i was singing my hear out while doing my skincare and brushing my teeth and hair
"wait im so fucking stupid i should've showered then did my skincare" i said mumbling to myself
"eh fuck it i'll shower after i go out with tom what time is it anyways"
the clock read 3:47 pm "goddamn i gotta stop waking up late"
i went out my bathroom and picked my outfit for now
i decided to wear something of britney spears
(you can pick whatever outfit you want this is just my imagination)
i did my hair into a messy bun and went downstairs i saw my mother cooking breakfast for me
"hey y/n/n i made you breakfast"
"ooh thanks mum"
i wasnt surprised of her making me breakfast she always does and i was grateful that she made me breakfast
i got my breakfast and ate at the table with a glass of orange juice while i was eating my flip phone was robing i picked it up and didn't see the contact name
"hello?"
"hi y/n"
"oh hey bill"
"i was wondering if you could come over later today at 6:30"
fuck i can't go hang out or come over to bills house today i have a date night with tom
"oh uh i can't bill i'm busy today sorry maybe tomorrow"
i felt bad for lying to bill it makes me sound wrong and it upset me
"oh no worries we can hang out tomorrow!"
i felt a sense of guilt in my throat i still had feelings for bill and now i am dating tom i have feelings for him too
why is love so hard i can't find a man that i only want and is the only one i have feelings for i don't want to like two guys at the same time especially when they are identical twins
i might as well date both of them right?
i was now loosing my mind i was now biting on my fork i bite my nails or things that i hold whenever i get nervous or overwhelmed