Shoulders heavy and down
From carrying all the other's garbage for so long
Tired of saving life's that doesn't want to be saved
I keep repeating there's no redemption for those who don't redeem themselves
But why the hell I can't swallow the lesson
I just Keep chewing the words but keep giving my all
I am tired of being used, but it is me that gave the green lights
I am the one that unlocked the doors to my mind, body and soul
Why would I think I understand the hurts, wounds and scars of others
And always blaming myself ignoring my pains and cries
Shush I say to myself, there is someone to revive
But my soul kept fainting and the lights turning on and off declaring the end of the savior time!
She's dead and buried under the rain
She is tired of saving life's that kept running over her once they grew their wings
She's covered with their blood stains
Her skin is tainted with scars that doesn't belong to hers
A identity what's that because she never knew to lose
her true self what's that, she is confused
I have been this person for so long, unfaced, unrecognizable and untrue
The less loved me is tired from thinking I am not worth it at all
A feeling most people kept spelling every time I try to choose my wounds over their's
I am not selfish I give 5 chances to each individual I encounter
I keep betraying myself 5 fucking times
Until I say it is my time!
I try to please and be easy
But when I look to their eyes I think the people I wanted it to please does not even equals one
The savior, I grew up to think I should be only kind to others to beloved, never crossed my mind self love
I loved but never been loved
I cared but never been cared for
Even my hurts they all refused to hear and console
I am the listening ears, the compassionate eyes and the mind that craft and solve their dilemma's in life
I was never the chosen, the cared for, the loved
Only the person who save, please and advice all the time
I want to be saved!
I want to redeem and put ointment on my cracks I want to let the lights ignite my wounds
I want to paint scars with self love and self care
I want people that inflict peace, tranquility and happiness
I want to be harmonious with life
I want to be whole and not half girl in this life!
liberate yourself, you are not obliged to bear everyone, just let go!