No matter how many times I stated I don't need a babysitter, Negan was adamant that I stay by his side at all times. That inevitably meant breakfast together, meetings together, lunch together, me sitting next to him while he did paperwork, coming with him on his trips and runs, then dinner together, inventory check together, dealing with people together, me watching him torture people for information, interrogating together and even me reading a book while he worked out and cleaning our guns together. At least it was educational for me, because I saw at first hand how and what he did as a the leader of the Saviors and how a day of his went. Before I thought he didn't do much as in dirty work, but it turned out I was wrong. I also saw him in all sorts of ways - from a calm and compassionate leader, who consoled a mother, whose son died while on a run, to a hard and absolutely brutal leader, who punished a guy for stealing food straight out of the storage unit.
Negan didn't lie when he said I'm gonna like the new room. It was definitely bigger than the old one and not as simple and plain. It had a double bed with expensive sheets, a sofa and a coffee table, a big bookcase with all kinds of books and other stuff, a vanity with a mirror, a CD player. The bathroom was also nicer and the windows were bigger, which made the room sunny and I liked it. The wardrobe was way too spacious for the amount of clothes I had, but when I opened it, I saw that it was already stocked with new clothes that looked like they would fit me. Privileges, huh? Alright. Except the regular ones like t-shirts, jeans and sweatshirts, there were a couple of dresses that contrasted vastly from all the blacks and grays with their soft pastel colors. Negan really did a lot. I wondered if he did that for all of his lieutenants when he promoted them. It was closer to his room, like he said, just down the corridor. Maybe all of his closest men were accommodated in that hallway.
Two weeks and a half had passed and my head was completely fine, except the occasional migraine, which Carson said was normal and to be expected. It wasn't new to me though, because I used to have hardcore headaches even before the whole apocalypse started. The problem was that the only medication that did help with the migraines was scarce and I didn't want to take much of it from the infirmary of the Sanctuary in case other people needed it.
With that, Negan insisted we go to Alexandria to see if they have enough Ibuprofen of exactly 500 mg with vitamin B for me. I was more than happy, because I hadn't seen my family for quite some time with everything that has been happening and I missed them a lot. I was jittery with excitement during the ride there which earned me a raised eyebrow look from Negan, but he didn't say anything.
During the last few days, when we were together most of the time, he was acting very soft when we were alone and then completely unhinged when in front of other people. Of course there was quite a bit of talk about us, people noticed we spent a lot of time together, there was talk about Dwight, about the whole wife thing, but nobody dared say anything in front of Negan. People still kneeled down when he passed and given his more violent behavior recently they were even more scared of him than usual.
I can't deny that his gentle demeanor around me was really starting to make the feelings in me sprout like wild flowers. I tried to suppress them, but whenever his hand was on my waist or gingerly rubbing my shoulder or when he made me laugh with some sort of a dumb joke, the fire in the pit of my stomach just burst into tall flames. I told myself repeatedly that I shouldn't even be thinking about him, let alone have whatever feelings for him. The denial was going to slowly eat me alive if I didn't do anything about it. I couldn't even tell how those feelings managed to break through my heart and what provoked them.
But there was something goddamn attractive in the way his hand gripped the steering wheel, his other one stroking his salt and pepper beard. His brows were a bit furrowed as he stared at the road ahead, his mind obviously elsewhere. I shuffled in my seat.
"You okay?" I found myself asking, quickly glancing at his perfect side profile. He hummed, not hearing my question. "I said...are you alright? You seem a bit...distant."
Negan turned his head to shine me a quick smirk.
"You suddenly care about your old boss?" He mocked, averting his eyes back to road.
I rolled my eyes, huffing in annoyance.
"Sorry for even fucking asking."
"Don't be so jumpy, darling." He replied. "I'm fine, when have I not been?"
"Well, when you're not." I deadpanned.
He laughed hoarsely.
"Smartass." When he saw my mood darkened, he placed a comforting hand on my knee. "I'm completely fucking fine. Just wondering what torture method would Rick use when he finds out his step daughter has a few more scars on her."
"Oh, so you're scared of Rick?" I snickered and gently pulled my leg away from his seductive grip.
"Terrified." He mocked. "Chilled to the bone."
"I wouldn't worry about him, to be honest. It's the only thing closest to a mother that I have, that's scary."
"And who's that? Rick's ninja girlfriend with the katana or?"
"No, not Michonne." I chuckled. "She is scary, yeah. But Carol is scarier, believe me."
"Carol, huh?" Negan stroked his beard. "The old lady? Why?"
"She's not an old lady and if you value your life, then you'd be a bit more tempered today. Especially after she finds out that I almost got killed two times under your care. Actually, three."
Negan scoffed sarcastically.
"Well, true. But I'm not afraid of an old lady, sweetheart. What's she gonna do? Kill me with knitting needles?" His chest heaved with laughter.
"Or she might strangle you with yarn. Don't underestimate her." I couldn't help the smile that crept on my lips. "Me and Judith are like daughters to her, after her little girl passed."
Negan hummed in response. He wasn't too sentimental about things like this, or at least he didn't let it show at all. Maybe he was, who knows. He definitely surprised me sometimes.
The gates of Alexandria came into view and I shot out of the truck almost instantly when we entered. I didn't let the sharp headache stop me from jumping into Carol's warm embrace and buried my head in her shoulder. Me and her got along very nicely since almost the beginning and I admired her for how she dealt with things. She, although unbeknownst to outsiders, was very stealthy and precise in what she did and how she did it. She had that nice and amicable attitude and soft smile, but behind that mask, she was twice as hard and cold when needed. Carol could bring an empire down in just a couple of quick well-measured actions. She knew I was alike, albeit I preferred things to be straightforward, and taught me her ways. That really made the bond between us almost as strong as one between a mother and daughter. When she decided to leave us and Alexandria, I was so heartbroken. And after everything that happened to her, after going through that cathartic experience when that fucker shot her, after the Kingdom, after separating from us, she was now even stronger. When she came back, because she knew we needed her, it felt like that last piece that was missing finally finished the puzzle. Our group, our family, wasn't complete without her. I couldn't imagine things without her.
"Haven't seen you in a long time." I heard a voice from behind us and lifted my gaze to meet Daryl's eyes. He looked moody, angry even, but when I stepped closer and gave him my charming smile his features softened. "The hell you've been, little rascal?"
I laughed and wrapped my hands around his torso. His hand grazed my hair and for the first time in a long time I felt okay. Happy, even. Since that night with the motorcycle. I could feel Negan's eyes burning holes on the back of my head and turned around. He was leaning against the hood of his truck, brows furrowed, hand casually gripping his barbaric weapon. Rick came out of the house on the opposite side of the street and shot me a questioning look but I waved him off. He sauntered over to the Saviors and their leader, who stared him down with a cocky grin.
"Woah, Rick! You look just as charming as the last time I saw you." Negan's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he gave Rick's shoulder a fist bump. "Now, the reason behind me blessing you with my presence and that of your beloved princess earlier than expected is because I need some of your shit. I need medicine. Ibuprofen with some vitamins in it, I don't fucking know. Now, don't give me that dirty look, cowboy, it's not for me, it's for her." Negan pointed his bat in my direction which I took as a sign to go up to them. "Tell your daddy what's been going on with you."
Rick's eyes were scanning my face and I gulped because I knew what storm of scolding would come my way when we were out of Negan's earshot.
"Bumped my head, got a concussion, nothing huge." I muttered under my breath, my gaze fixed on the dirty white tips of my sneakers.
"Bumped your head? How?" Rick's eyes squinted at me with disbelief.
I didn't want to reply, instead kept digging the gravel with my shoe.
"Oh, it was one hell of a show." Negan interjected and I shot him a threatening glare. "Fought off a nasty guy that was getting too touchy with our new guns. Said guy pushed her into a wall, I came to her rescue, saved her feisty ass and now we're here. End of story." Negan chuckled, eyeing me up and down with content. "You raised one hell of a daughter, Richie. Real loyal to her duty."
"Wait, wait a minute." Rick placed a hand on my shoulder to urge me to look up. "You fought a guy to...to what? Duty? What duty?"
"Didn't little pumpkin tell you already? She's my lieutenant now. Kicks ass at it too." Negan raised his brows high, tongue poking his cheek in content.
Rick's blue eyes were full of confusion, then anger, then disappointment, then concern.
"You're his lieutenant now?" He asked me, voice almost dropping to a whisper. I tried to communicate with him to not overstep the boundaries through a glance but he obviously didn't get it. Instead I could see the fury starting to rise up in him and that usually meant he was gonna become reckless.
"Wait a minute, Richie, my man." Negan raised a hand. "I'm getting a sense you're not fucking happy about it. Now, if I were you, I'd be one hell of a proud step dad. Not only your little girl climbs up the fucking career ladder, tops up the food chain, but also I'm telling you she's pretty good at it. Smile a bit."
"Yeah, no, I know she's good at it." Rick averted his enraged gaze to Negan, his voice starting to become more and more agitated. "She's second in charge here for a reason. I made her like this. You can't...you can't take her up and make her one of your-"
"Well, shit. I'm sorry." Negan interrupted, grinning in pretend confusion. He then pointed his finger at Rick. "Seems like you are missing the point. Again. You made her. And I take her. Also, was that you trying to tell me what to do? Didn't hear you clearly over you whining, speak a bit louder."
I shot him the deadliest glance I could muster but he only smirked at me and cockily wrapped a hand around my shoulder, squeezing. I shuffled him off of me and stepped away, closer to Rick, whose fingers were starting to twitch with nervousness. Negan really knew how to get him mad.
"Look, Rick. Rick, is that your full name? Or is it Richard? Anyways, I, " Negan's expression darkened in a millisecond. "Don't really give one flying fuck about your opinion. I decide what to do with my people and everybody here, including you and your pretty sunflower of a play-pretend daughter, are mine as of now. So, if I want to make her a lieutenant, I make her a lieutenant. If I want to fucking marry her, I marry her. If I want to pop her brains out, hell, I can do that too and there is nothing you can do about it. Clear?"
I glared at Rick trying to convey the simple telepathic message of "don't." He for once seemed to understand me and ran a hand over his face. A silent and excruciatingly long minute passed.
"Alright." He almost mumbled and I let go of a long held breath.
Negan gave him a pat on the shoulder in his belittling way that only he could do so well and then waved over to his guys. Going to the side, out of mine and Rick's earshot, he started giving his people the usual commands.
"What have you been up to there?" Rick whispered angrily when Negan's back was turned. "Are you going forward with the delusional plan you had about gaining his trust and-"
"No." I whispered back. "I ditched that plan, it can't happen with that group out there, we need him to fight them off if things go south and not get involved. We need him alive for now." I wasn't exactly lying about why I hadn't killed Negan already, but that group wasn't the only reason. "He insisted about promoting me and you know how hard it is to say no to this man. I also made a deal, I had to. A girl was gonna get punished if I didn't."
"What?" Rick hissed, glancing over at Negan quickly. "Stop being so...so selfless and altruistic. Stop putting other people in front of yourself."
"But..." I could understand where he was coming from but I just wanted him to grasp the situation. "You, my dad...you've taught me this! Helping others, no matter the cost. The girl deserved better! Besides, it's not like he's treating me bad or anything, I have more respect as a lieutenant as well as other things."
"You are putting your life in danger! And, for the savage that...that..." Rick frowned, his hand wiping sweat droplets off his face. "He's manipulating you into obeying!"
"I didn't have a choice!" I almost raised my voice.
"You always have a choice." Rick said, staring down at me with such intensity that I decided it's useless to argue.
"Please, just...let him take the weekly provisions and give me some ibuprofen." I said quietly. Rick turned around, shaking his head but I snaked my fingers around his arm, making him look back at me. "I will put an end to this. One way or another. I swear."
We looked at each other for a long second before he gave me a quick nod and went to the waiting Saviors. Last thing I needed was him being mad at me. I didn't want him to be mad at me, I couldn't understand why no one saw that what I did, I did for a reason. It seemed like everyone thought I was enjoying being all the way up there in this awful place, working for Negan.
I huffed, looking around and followed, but Negan's heavy palm on my shoulder stopped me. His fingers gingerly trailed down my upper arm and rested on my stomach from behind.
"Why isn't your daddy happy?" His deep voice sounded in my ear.
"Don't touch me like that here." I hissed, pulling away from his hand. I couldn't see his face but felt his mood swing threateningly.
"Don't give me fucking orders, missy." He growled.
I turned around and glared at him, but his burning eyes made me change my mind.
"Come." I commanded. He whistled, swaying on his feet but followed me nonetheless. I went straight to the gardens on the back of Alexandria, where nobody could see or hear. When we came to a full stop, hidden and obscured from prying eyes, I turned around to face him with all the anger I had.
"I told you to behave. Stop belittling Rick, stop making weird jokes. Stop flirting with me in front of everyone. Why did you tell him all of that? About Dwight, about the lieutenant thing? You should've let me find a way to tell him, not just spit it out like that!"
Negan raised his brows, tongue licking his bottom lip.
"Well, excuse the shit out of my goddamn French, but you told me to fucking what?" He asked, completely ignoring the other half of what I said.
"Behave." I repeated, taking a step closer. "Stop acting like a sociopath at least now. Things are heated and fucking fragile anyways."
He also took a step closer, our chests almost touching.
"As much as it turns me on when you boss me around, I'd advise you to not overstep your boundaries, cherry pie."
"Yeah? And I advise you to not push big red buttons that aren't meant to be pushed...boss." I almost whispered, shoving my body against his.
Our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on my lips.
Negan squinted his eyes and before I knew it, his fingers wrapped around my chin, pinning it so that I wouldn't be able to look, nor pull away.
"Don't make the big bad wolf angry, little red riding hood." He said slowly, his greenish whiskey eyes flashing towards my lips.
The all too familiar shiver went down my whole body, warmth spilling in the pit of my stomach.
"Fuck. You." I managed to say, not breaking eye contact, although my heart was beating like crazy.
A small smirk adorned his features as he leaned in, his lips next to my ear.
"Oh, you will." He said slowly in a deep and velvety voice, then retreated a bit and his lips found the spot just on the corner of my mouth. My eyes closed on their own accord, hands and feet feeling like lead.
He slowly moved away, a wide cocky grin on his lips and winked at me. Then he spun on his heels and started walking back, only to turn around a few feet away.
"Oh, and by the way, to show you how fucking much I like and appreciate you, " Negan tilted his head to the side. "I'll give you the whole day to spend with your little friends. I have some work to do in the area. I will be back by... " He looked down at his wrist to an imaginary watch. "Seven. Yeah, seven. And then, sweet-fucking-heart, you'll be all mine."
I stood frozen in the middle of the garden and watched his tall figure go further and further. He turned around again, theatrically, as if he had forgotten something.
"Oh, one more thing. You are the true sociopath. I'm just an asshole."
—•—