"𝐈 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨'𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞
𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐧"
A defeated sigh left your mouth, and you could feel Ellie's disapproving gaze on you. "I give up." Your gaze shifted to the floor as you felt your cheeks turn red. The two of you had been at it for over an hour now, but you still couldn't manage to remember a single chord, and you kept either pressing the strings too hard, or too soft. "You're such a baby, you have got to be patient with it, or it'll never work out." The tattooed redhead shook her head as she took her beloved guitar from your arms, getting ready to demonstrate for you. "It's all about the angle." She said as she pressed her fingers against the strings, a faintly familiar melody coming out of the instrument as she slowly started to play.
You tried to keep your eyes focused on the guitar itself, but found them surveying Ellie's tattoo instead. Even before you found out about your attraction for her, you had always admired the large, black pattern on her right forearm. The attention however, returned to the music as Ellie began to sing along with the tune.
𝘛𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺
The lyrics fell from her mouth, immediately grasping your attention. You couldn't help but study her lips as the soft notes came out of her. She was a suprisingly good singer, and you could feel your heart melt at the sight of her with her guitar alone already. The redhead's eyes remained closed as she was way too focused on the words, not even glancing at her guitar as the song was clearly memorised. You assumed it was one of the few songs Joel taught her, as he way very open and proud about the things he had taught his daughter.
𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶
The tears started to appear in the corners of your eyes, the feelings pouring out of Ellie in the form of a beautiful song. Nothing in you was ever even slightly prepared for this, and you didn't think you would ever fully get over this moment. You tried to soak everything in, not wanting any details to get lost in the process.
𝘚𝘩𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺
She opened up her eyes to look at you while singing the last sentence, and your heart melted even more than it already had. A faint smile appeared on her face, which you couldn't help but reciprocate. You eyes fell to her lips once again, and as much as you tried to resist it, a smirk appeared on your face. The tone in which she sang the familiar song somehow made it even more comforting, and you could feel yourself get all warm and fuzzy inside.
𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦
𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯
As the chorus hit, you were finally able to identify the song she was playing, and you could feel your entire body softly swaying along to the gentle melody. Your smile grew as the eye contact got more and more intimate. How she had managed to turn such an up beat song into such an emotional balled was an absolute miracle to you. The angelic notes that fell from her mouth had you starstruck, and you couldn't tear your eyes away from her.
𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦
𝘐𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰
The tattooed redhead carefully put down the guitar as her gaze started to fixate on the floor again. "That was kind of cringe." She chuckled to herself out of self deprecation while rubbing her temples, to which you were quick to respond by shaking your head. "Ellie, that was fucking beautiful." You expressed yourself with a now huge grin on your face as you laid your hand on her cheek, rubbing your thumb over her smooth and soft skin. "Yeah?" Ellie teased you as she leaned into your hand, a smirk now appearing on her face. The tone in which she said it made it hard for you not to lose your cool. "Yeah." You nodded, failing to stop a chuckle from coming out as you leaned in for a kiss.
As the two of you parted from one another, she was quick to lay her forehead against yours again, making the moment even more special than it already was. "Did Joel teach you that?" You asked curiously, even though you already knew the answer. Your eyes drifted over to the guitar for a few seconds before finding their way back to Ellie's eyes again. "Yeah, he did." She nodded as pride filled her gaze. The love she had for Joel was so pure, because even when the two of them weren't on completely good terms, there was always this spark in her eyes when she talked or heard about him. This was a spark you had been dying to achieve with Tommy for years, but still hadn't fully accomplished. You had blamed it on the fact that neither of you had any shared trauma, but you knew there was something unmatched about the connection Ellie had with the elder man.
"He taught you good, then." You teased as your face got closer to the redhead. A smirk appeared on her face, and without wasting any more time, she layed her tattooed arm on your lower back, getting dangerously close to you. Your cheeks were starting to become red, but at this point you didn't really care about that anymore. Instead, you fully leaned in and closed the gap between you and the older girl within a matter of seconds.
Although the age gap wasn't big, Ellie made sure every single person in Jackson was aware of it when your friendship arose. It was her main flex when the two of you went anywhere together, and instead of being angry, you just let her. You weren't exactly sure what she had been through at that point, and she wouldn't tell you until much later on in your friendship, but Maria had told you to be a little extra careful around the red-haired girl. First that caused a frown to appear on your young face, but when you first took notice of the significant scars on her body, you thought that whatever she had been through, was probably more intense than your life would ever get.
Since that moment you felt as if you had to walk on egg shells around the girl, but that faded within her first year in Jackson. Ellie had made it very clear to you that she wasn't as fragile as Maria made her out to be. At first you thought the tough girl stuff was just an act, but you quickly realised this was a part of her identity, and something you had to come to terms with. This was easier said than done, because the redhead had lashed out on you on numerous occasions because of small, irrelevant things. Instead of being nice about it, you were quick to put her in her place, even as kids, since this was the kind of treatment Ellie needed to have in order to hold her accountable for her own behaviour.
————— ୨୧ —————
The minute you left Ellie's place, a comforting feeling left your stomach. Even though it had only been seconds since you last saw your girlfriend, you couldn't help but miss her touch. Jackson was freezing as the white snow covered the town, making it look like some kind of winter wonderland. Normally you would appreciate its beauty, but as you forgot to bring a coat to the red-haired girl's humble abode, you despised the cold air around you. As you let out a breath, you could see its condensation leaving your mouth. You almost began shivering as you made your way back home, craving Maria's delicious home cooked meals more than ever.
Footsteps could be heard as soon as you knocked on the door, which you identified as Maria's right before she opened the door. "Come in, honey." A warm smile was spread on her face as she made room for you to step into the hallway, her hands gesturing for you to quickly come inside. You reciprocated the smile as you walked past her, taking off your coat in an instance as you were met with the warm air that filled the lit up house.
As you entered the kitchen, you could see that Maria was seated at the head of the dining table, clearly wanting to talk to you about something. With one look in her eyes you could tell exactly what she was aiming at, and you felt your shoulders drop as you realised she wasn't planning on going anywhere until you told her what she wanted to hear. "I assume you've talked to Tommy?" You raised your eyebrows as you crossed your arms over your torso. An devilish grin appeared on her face as the older woman in front of you nodded. "I have." She bit her bottom lip, and it seemed as if she was trying her best to keep herself from bursting out in laughter.
"What's so funny?" Your eyebrows who were once raised now formed an equally intense frown as you leaned your arms on the dining table. "How oblivious the two of you were to it all." A grin escaped as Maria shook her head. "What do you mean by that?" You said, which didn't really help you beat the allegations. "Ellie has had a thing for you ever since she got here, and I think you've liked her for a while too." This news was new for you, and your mind needed several seconds to process the information. "She what?" You tilted your head as you tried your best to understand what Maria was telling you. "That girl is head over heels for you, and has worshipped your every move ever since the two of you started hanging out." The older woman couldn't save herself this time around, a chuckle leaving her mouth.
You pulled out the chair closest to Maria, taking a seat next to her. "I had no idea." Your face is full of confusion as you are still busy processing her words. The fact that she was aware of this all along made you feel frustrated, hurt almost. "Why didn't you tell me?" You asked her, Maria responding with a simple shrug. "It wasn't my place to tell you." The same grin was still on her face as she tried to explain it to you. "Well I damn sure would've wanted you to tell me. So much time, just wasted." A sigh escaped your lips as you let your shoulders drop. Maria shook her head, disagreeing with what you just said. "You weren't ready before."
This caused the frown to reappear on your face, and caused you to remain confused as you stared at the older woman. "Ready for what?" You shook your head as you tried to think of what she could possibly be refering to, but you came up empty. "Ready to admit to yourself that you like Ellie." Maria explained to you, the frown leaving your face once again as you finally began to understand her. The internalised homophobia was something you swore you were never guilty of, but a part of you knew better. It wasn't as if you hated same sex relationships in general, you just didn't want to be apart of one yourself. You didn't want to stand out, be different.
"Thank you." You said after multiple minutes of comfortable silence, which you spent reflecting on your past behaviour, and Maria's decisions along the way. "Anytime, honey." A warm smile reappeared on her face as she stood up from the chair, making her way to the kitchen. Whenever she called you 'honey', it gave you this odd feeling of comfort. It was an unmatchable feeling which you often craved in frightening situations, and it made you feel loved in a way you hadn't felt before. It made you feel seen.
————— ୨୧ —————
As you walked into the dining hall on your own, your eyes scanned the room for either Dina and Jessie. The four of you had decided to meet up for lunch again, as you did almost every day. It was the first time you'd see each other after Ellie and you kissed at the party, and neither of them had reached out to you yet. You hadn't told Ellie about it, because you didn't want to bother her with your overthinking. For some reason you had always felt like a burden to the people around you when it came to your feelings. You expected to be the first one to arrive, but to your surprise two of your friends were already seated at your regular table. Before approaching them, you took a good second to take mental notes of the situation. Jesse was laughing at almost everything Dina said, which was highly unlikely for him, as he usually loved messing around with her, even if this caused her to lose her smile.
The sudden cancelations for your group hangouts now seemed oddfully convenient, as you noticed Jesse's hand rested on the girl's knee. You didn't want to say anything about the sudden absences of your friends, but to be fully honest, your mind was too occupied with your new girlfriend to even think about the two teenagers who sat just meters in front of you. As badly as you didn't want to become that sort of girl, your brain seemed to have different plans, because the rest of your thoughts disappeared any time the auburn-haired girl was within sight. The suspicion had always been there, but you never found yourself saying anything about it, as you once again didn't want to bother anyone with your probably irrelevant thoughts.
"Hey guys." You tried to remain nonchalant while sliding onto the chair opposite from your friends, failing terribly as you nearly sit down on plain air. Jesse's cheeks reddened as he pulled away his hand, but Dina giggled at the small incident she just witnessed as you took a proper seat. "So I guess you saw...." The dark-haired girl took a small break before resuming her sentence, the awkwardness sinking in with a small delay. "Us." As soon as the final word fell from her mouth, the young guy gaze dropped to his lap, making you feel almost guilty for what you saw. "I won't tell Ellie." You said right away, in attempt to comfort the two, knowing it was a complete lie.
As bad as it made you feel, nothing remained hidden to Ellie, at least nothing recent. Dina shook her head, causing you to frown. "Don't make promises you can't keep. It's fine though, and kind of ironic." A small grin appeared on the young girl's face as she continued to move her head from left to right repeatedly. "How so?" You asked, the intensity of the frown only having increased since those words fell from her mouth. Jesse's gaze had formed a similar expression to yours, him finally daring to look up again. His cheeks were still slightly hot, but the embarrassment had found its way out.
"We're all dating each other." She shrugged, a soft chuckle escaping her mouth. "I guess we're an incest friendgroup then." You joked, finally feeling more at ease with all the new information. "Let's not go that way." The young asian man had put his hand on his forehead as he shook his head softly. "I'm assuming that means you two are official?" The grin was replaced with a smirk as Dina changed the subject. You now felt your cheeks burn as you nodded, a sudden shyness taking over you.
And as if she was listening to the conversation, the red-haired girl walks into the dining hall with perfect timing. She takes a seat next to you without even saying a word, and she took a few seconds to take in the vibes of everyone around her as her eyes scanned her friends, and you. "What's going on here?" The young girl squinted her eyes as she slightly tilted her head, unsure as to whether to be creeped out or chuckle at the awkwardness circling around the group of friends. "I told them." You spoke up, hoping you didn't say anything wrong as your gaze traveled to your shoes. They were so dirty you could barely notice their original dark blue colour, since you and the pair of converses had been through more than anyone could ever imagine.
A frown appeared on her face as the auburn-haired girl scanned the room once again. "Oh." A small sigh escaped her mouth as her gaze now also met her shoes, almost as if she was embarrassed by the fact that you two were dating. It made you feel a way you hadn't felt before, and you couldn't help but wish you would have just shut your mouth about it and forget the last conversation ever even happened. "Relax, Ellie. We're not homophobes, it's 2039 for Christ's sake." Dina rolled her eyes at the younger girl, not giving the slightest shit about any of it. You loved that about her, because she always said what you wish you could.
Ellie seemed to relax at those words, her tense shoulders dropping as her hand made its way over to yours, intertwining your fingers with her own underneath the table. Jesse finally seemed to get more confident within the situation, as he saw Ellie's gesture as a perfect sign to hold Dina's hand, revealing the secret publicly now, for everyone to see. The tattooed girl frowned again as her gaze landed on the hands of her friends, before meeting your eyes. "We're together as well." The dark-haired girl couldn't keep it in any longer, spreading the news with a wide grin on her face. "Have been for a while now." Jesse nods, a barely noticeable dimple appearing in his cheek as he reciprocated the smile. "Guess we're an incest friendgroup now, aren't we?" Ellie spoke up after a few seconds of silence. "That's what I said!" You burst out in laughter, rubbing your temples out of pure disbelief. "You two are fucking insane." Jesse let out another sigh, causing both of you to shrug. The scary moment the two of you had just moments ago seemed to have faded away into the background as you admire Ellie, your girlfriend, once again.
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Words: 3169
Please vote and/or comment, it really helps me out and motivates me while writing!<3
A/N: Do I think I'm hilarious for the title? Yes! Anyways does anyone understand the converse ref? (it's meant to be gracie abrams coded) + Does anyone want more reader lore? I feel like my girl has a lot of hidden trauma..