"C'mon yaar, Allah ainvey har ayre gyre ki baddua nhi sunta. You know that. Why are you letting that namuna (idiot) get in your head like this?" (Allah doesn't listen to just anyone's curses like that)
Israh sighed, wiping her tears away but it was useless because they were incessant and unstoppable. She clutched the phone to her ears, and was relieved that her mother hadn't called her down yet. It'd been almost two hours since she'd locked herself in this bedroom, with trembling hands and a heavy heart.
Ya Allah, what was this new problem on top of everything else that was going on? Would Israh really have to spend the rest of her life fearing both her present and her future, because of Mohsin's curse?
"Accha, fine. Did you pray Zuhr yet?"
Israh shook her head, then realised that obviously Tamannah couldn't see her through the call. "No."
"Then go and pray. I'm sure you'll feel much better. And while you're at it, make dua for yourself. He's the All-Hearing isn't he? Pour out your heart to Him and He won't let you down. Chalo, jaldi kro utho. Mein phone band krne lgi hu." (C'mon, be quick and get up. I'm ending the call)
Israh sniffled, but did as told. It was true. Allah knew everything that had happened. Nothing was concealed from Him. And no person's curse was stronger than Allah's mercy. Not even a leaf moved without His permission, so what were a few words going to do against His benevolence?!
If she prayed and begged hard enough, He'd listen. He'd protect her and her family. No curse could affect her life unless He permitted it to, and hopefully He wouldn't allow Mohsin's ill-intended prayers to affect her. Everything was going to be fine. It was fine.
So, despite the anxieties and fears, Israh got off the floor, unlocked the door and headed to the washroom to make her wudhu. The cold water relieved the heat of her skin, and soothed her puffy eyes as well as the forming headache. And as the water went down the drain, she let some of her worries leave with it too.
Praying really did help her. She felt much lighter with every sajdah, her tears drying on her cheeks with every rakaat, and when she raised her hands up for dua, she was confident that her Allah would do what is best for her.
She had made a mistake, yes. But she'd also suffered its consequences. She wouldn't complain if it wasn't yet enough, if Allah wanted to bring harder times toward her, because at the end she knew she would be forgiven. No hurt came a Muslim's way except to erase some of their past sins. Every ounce of pain was a blessing, and she was ready to confront it with all her might.
With a renewed strength, she folded her prayer mat and put it aside before turning to her dresser and fixing her face. Most of the puffiness was gone, but her skin was still red and the acne was flaring up once again to make her look even duller.
Israh applied a nice moisturiser on her face, some surma and lip gloss, before tying her hair back into a loose braid. She sighed. At least she didn't look like she'd had a mental breakdown just moments ago.
When she went downstairs, ammi and abbu were watching a Pakistani drama together, so Israh sat between them and her father hugged her close, placing an affectionate kiss on the top of her head. She smiled to herself, snuggling closer to him. The elders were right. Parents really were their childrens' shade, their home, their heaven on earth.
While her relationship with her parents sometimes got strained and frustrating, they were also her solace and warmth when the world was heavy and life got harder to get through.
They inspired her every waking moment, every time she felt like she couldn't get through a tough time she'd remember how they persevered. They never gave up, always tried hard and remained grateful to Allah in both the good and the bad. They had sabr, and courage and a fierce determination that Israh was wildly invigorated by.
"How are your exam preparations going?" Ammi asked.
Israh hummed. "They're going fine, Alhamdulillah. I just hope my mind doesn't go blank at the last minute. I remember that happening during my GCSEs. It was the worst."
Sidra held Israh's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "It's going to be fine. Everything. InnShaAllah."
"InnShaAllah." Both Sikander and Israh spoke at the same time.
***
Israh laid down a cloth on the slightly dewy grass and sat down on it, dropping her bag onto it. She retrieved the tiffin of now cold samosas from her bag, and placed it out in front of her, before texting her friends to ask where they all were.
She didn't have to wait long before Noor and Aliya were waving at her from afar, almost running toward her. She smiled widely and waved back, instantly feeling her mood shift to a more positive one. Being with her friends anywhere these days was her safe haven, more than her own home. It sounded bad to say it like that, but it was true, and the guilt couldn't deter her from reaching for the few moments of joy she could get. She deserved that.
Noor hugged her first, a tight bear hug that almost cut out Israh's oxygen supply but was still more than welcome. "I missed you my cutie patootie."
Israh hugged her back, tapping Noor's back to let go a minute later. "I missed you too, Noorie. I'm so glad we could finally meet now. It's been too long."
Noor pulled away with a pout. "I knowwww. These placements are gonna be the end of me, I swear!"
Aliya had already sat down by the time Noor had let go of Israh. Aliya wasn't much about physical affection. She preferred to just be nice and do acts of service, which explained why she'd just muttered a Salaam and took out a bunch of containers with a variety of things that smelled absolutely delicious.
"What did you bring? It smells so good." Israh spoke, her mouth watering at the sight of the fresh biriyani in one of the containers.
Aliya smiled and placed the biriyani right in front of Israh and Noor, passing them the spoons as well. "Biriyani, kebabs, fruit salad, chutney and ras malai."
Noor instantly went for the ras malai and both Israh and Aliya lost her right there, to the sight and taste of sweets.
"Don't eat everything, Noor. Abhi Tamannah bhi nhi aayi." (Tamannah hasn't come yet)
Israh took a spoonful of biriyani and was about to shower Aliya with compliments at how good the rice was, when Tamannah interrupted their enjoyment. "Arey, arey...biriyani aise nhi khaate, jaahil." (hey, hey...you can't eat biriyani like this, you ignorant)
Tamannah put her laptop bag down in the middle before snatching the container from Israh's hands, who complained wide-eyed and annoyed. "Tammu, yaar!"
Tamannah didn't pay attention, before digging into the rice with her hands. "Angrezo ke beech mein reh reh kar khud bhi angrez ho gayi ho." (you've become like the whites, living among them for so long) Tamannah snickered, sitting down between Aliya and Noor.
"Hai na!" Noor agreed, her ras malai dripping down her chin. Before she could reach for the napkin, Aliya reached one toward her and wiped it off.
"Pehle tum acche se khaana sikh lo, phir Tamannah ki side lena." (first you learn to eat properly, and then you can side with Tamannah)
"Exactly. Ab mujhe bhi do, yaar!" (Now, give it to me) Israh reached for the biriyani again but Tamannah refused to give it to her, so Israh glared at her for a moment before grabbing a kebab. "By the way Ali, when are you gonna get married?"
Aliya was a year older, which somehow also meant that she was going to be the first one to get married. Everyone was so excited for her. While Tamannah was engaged, Aliya's nikaah had already happened, but the rukhsati had been delayed because Aliya was finishing her masters at the time.
It'd been a year now, and while Aliya wasn't one to be confident and open enough to share stories about her husband here and there, Israh, Tamannah and Noor had bullied her into sharing a few things sometimes. From Aliya's stories, it seemed like Shehroz bhai was a joru ka gulaam (a wife's slave), because he could not for the life of him say no to Aliya about anything. He listened to her intently, did as she said always, and was the biggest hopeless romantic that Aliya had ever come across. Not that she had come across many.
Shehroz bhai was the kind that went overboard with any kind of celebrations, like the time when Aliya graduated and he'd taken her to the most expensive restaurant around, bought her a freaking diamond ring, had made Aliya a huge books and roses bouquet because he knew Aliya liked to read, and had even reserved them a cruise for the evening. Not only was he filthy rich, but he was also probably the dream man of literally every girl.
Aliya smiled down shyly, before getting something out of her bag. "Actually, I came here for a reason." There were three cards in her hand, and she passed one to each of them.
Noor, Israh and Tamannah looked over and read the cards with their mouths agape before Noor jumped up with a squeal and tackled Aliya to the ground in sheer excitement.
The wedding was going to take place in two months. Israh couldn't believe it. It was too soon and too much. Obviously, she had an inkling that the wedding was going to happen this year, but in two months?!
"Wow, Ali...I didn't think it would be this soon."
Noor was still hogging Aliya but had loosened her hold enough for the latter to embrace Tamannah as well before speaking. "Yeah, it was pretty last minute, but Shehroz got a really great job opportunity in New York, and he's supposed to start later this year. It's gonna be hard for him to travel back and forth if we do it toward the end of the year, so...yeah."
"Wait, what? Does this mean you're gonna move all the way to America? SO FAR?!" Tamannah shrieked.
The same shock and fear gripped Israh and Noor who went silent at the revelation.
"Does this mean we won't be able to see you for years at one time?"
Aliya chewed on her bottom lip, as her eyes began shimmering with unshed tears. She didn't meet their gazes, but her silence was enough. They all had been together since high school, and even though they didn't meet as often as they liked because of course desi parents just couldn't let you be social, at least they knew they were just half an hour away from each other. They were reachable at any time.
America though was too far. Things were already going to chance after marriage, with added responsibilities and relationships, keeping in contact would already be hard enough. Moving away to a whole another continent, where time-zones and schedules would never match was going to be horrible.
What if they fell apart? What if the distance weakened their friendship?
The silence was haunting, heavy and tense. They all seemed to have fallen into deep thought about the future and what it all meant, but then Tamannah spoke, and her tone was hopeful and cheery even if her cheeks were wet with tears. "Guys, cheer up. It's our baby's wedding. We have to go all out. There's gonna be dance routines, and no I don't wanna hear any excuse from you Israh, and we'll have to go on a girls' trip for the bridal shower too. We have so much planning to do girls. Once Noor's placements ends and Israh's exams too, we have to start saving up and thinking properly about what to do, okay?"
Noor wiped her face clean before nodding along. "Definitely. We have to make it worth it. And Aliya..." Aliya looked at her sadly but smiling still. "You better not hibernate on your phone, or I swear to god-"
"Of course not. It's gonna be hard enough to adjust to all the changes. I don't wanna lose you guys." She looked over at Israh and grabbed her arm to pull her into the group hug. "I'm gonna miss you all dumbasses so much."
Once they'd relaxed themselves and were back to eating, Israh spoke up. "I have news too, by the way." The three looked at her expectantly. "I'm...getting engaged next Saturday."