JERICHO
As kids we were all asked the same question, what do you want to be when you grow up?
The answers were endless ranging from wanting to be an Astronaut who explores outer space to a deep sea diver who maps out our oceans floors and explores the world beneath the surface.
Our dreams as kids were infinite but as we grew up and reality caught up, our answers changed, he who wanted to become a neurosurgeon ended up being a janitor in a hospital and the police officer became being a mall security guard.
Not to say that dreams don't come true but different circumstances lead us to change the trajectory of our lives both from our own doings and sometimes being dealt a bad hand by the universe.
As for me my answer has always been the same and I am lucky enough that I got to grow up and become what I always dreamed of. It's not been an easy journey, not by a long shot considering who I was growing up but I got a second chance in life and vowed to not waste it. So now I spend my days doing what I'm best at; saving lives.
"Lamar, Cortez, status?" Captain Raith's voice crackles over the radio.
"Clearing the second floor now cap." I answer.
"Better hustle, IC says possible flashover imminent." He warns.
"Yes sir."
I look at Cortez who knows what that means as we move onto the next apartment. It's the last one on this floor and as is expected the door is locked.
"Step aside." Cortez yells over the roaring flames.
I do as he asks and watches as he forces the door open with the head of his axe. We step aside just in time for a gust of wind to push a raging series of flames out.
"Ready?" I ask turning to Cortez.
"Always." He grins at me giving me a fist bump just before we charge into the house whose roof is moments away from collapsing.
"Neighbors say only one resident in this house, a woman." Cortez says as we begin yelling out for her.
"Ma'am?!" We call out with no response.
"Ma'am this is Fire and Rescue, call out if you can hear us." I yell over the noise.
"Check the bathroom." Cortez yells at me as he rushes to the bedroom.
The bathroom door is locked which is a good sign so I use my shoulder to break it open. There are wet towels lined up on the floor meaning someone was trying to keep the flames and smoke out.
"Cortez I found her." I inform my partner over the radio when I see the lady we are looking for collapsed in a ball at the furthest corner of the bathroom.
"Ma'am can you hear me? We are firefighters here to rescue you." I inform her lifting her head up.
She sluggishly opens her eyes which lets me know that she is still alive. "You came?"
"Yes ma'am and we are going to get you out of here." I reply picking her up just in time for Cortez to rush in.
"We have to go. Now!" He yells adamantly meaning we are running on borrowed time.
"Way ahead of you." I reply but before we can hustle out of the bathroom the lady stops us.
"Please my babies." She coughs her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she struggles to stay conscious.
Cortez and I look at each other confused because there was no mention of her having kids.
"Ma'am you have children?" I ask her.
"Yes, four of them." She answers.
"There was no mention of that. There is no one else in the house, I looked." Cortez informs her.
She reaches out and draws the bathroom curtain to reveal, four cats. Of course she has to be a cat lady who refers to felines as her children.
"I have her, you take them." I delegate to Cortez.
"But my allergies." He laments.
"Sucks to be you." I chuckle.
"Lamar, I will make you pay for this." He threatens picking up the first cat and immediately begins sneezing.
I laugh louder as I carry the half conscious lady out of the bathroom with a sneezing Cortez right behind us. We are right on time as the incident commander calls for an immediate evacuation of all first responders from the building.
"Mayday, mayday, all firefighters evacuate the building immediately. We have overheating fires with imminent flashover. All BFD evacuate immediately. Out."
"That's our cue." I rush out as I speed walk out of the burning building making sure to avoid the collapsed floors and debris falling from the floor above us.
The minute we are outside and away from the building, it blows up nearly knocking me off my feet.
Damn that was close but isn't it always.
The paramedics are right there to take the tenant off my hands while Cortez gives the cats to another firefighter as he erupts into a fit of sneezes making me laugh harder. To be fair I could have made him carry the tenant while I took the cats but where is the fun in that.
"Shit Lamar, you are on fire!" Someone yells at me.
"I know right, that was amazing." I cheer.
"No dude, you are literally on fire." He insists.
I turn my head and that's when I feel the heat creeping up my neck and eating away at my back. "Oh shit!"
I immediately toss myself onto the ground and roll to put it out but it doesn't work until someone uses the hose on me completely drenching me. I get to my feet and turn to see Cortez grinning at me with the hose in hand.
"Thank you." I comment sarcastically knowing the hose was unnecessary.
"You are welcome." He answers holding in his laughter but then he sneezes which makes me laugh at him in retaliation. "Damn allergies.
When he sees me bent over with laugher he blasts the hose at me again and the force is so powerful it knocks me off my feet. "That's payback for the cats."
"You're an idiot." I retort standing up as I drip water all over the tarmac.
"Okay boys, enough messing around, we need to contain these flames." Captain Raith commands.
"Yes captain." We both nod.
Cortez and I fist bump as a way of calling it a truce, for now at least. Because in as much as we like giving each other hell, work always comes first for us. My turn out gear is compromised from where a piece of debris tore it causing it to catch fire which means I cannot go back inside. That however does not stop me from fighting the fire outside and helping my team quench this roaring beast.
Two hours later we roll back into the firehouse after a successful call with zero casualties.
"What a way to end a twenty-four-hour shift." Jean, one of our female firefighters groans in protest as she cracks her joints.
"I know right, I don't think I'm going to leave my bed until the next shift." Cortez concurs.
"I don't think that has anything to do with the brutal shift we've just had." I retort giving him a knowing look.
"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugs although we all know.
Ian Cortez has no boundaries so we all know that his girl suffers from White Knight Syndrome. He saved her from a burning building a couple of months ago and she showed up here the next day with a gift basket for him. They started going out immediately but their whole relationship is built over the fact that Ian is always filling her mind with stories of our calls. We tried cautioning him that this will end in heartbreak, me more than the rest as he is my best friend but when it comes to Tamara, the only part of his body that he listens to is the one in between his legs.
"What about you Lamar, any plans tonight?" Captain Raith asks me as we put away our turnouts.
"Yes with his fist and a specimen cup." Cortez replies with a snicker before I can.
"Har har very funny Cortez." I retort smacking the back of his head.
"What is he talking about?" Raith inquires looking confused.
"Nothing captain, imma hit the showers and see y'all during the next shift." I reply giving Cortez a warning look to keep his mouth shut.
He makes a zipping gesture on his lips with his fingers and tosses the key away. My fellow firefighters are like my second family meaning we share a lot of things but there are things I'd still like to keep private.
The scalding hot showers manages to soothe my muscles but not enough after the shift I've had. The past twenty-four hours have been insane with back to back calls and that last one was an especially excruciating one. I should be heading home to get some much needed sleep but unfortunately I still have one more stop, probably the most important one of all.
"Good luck tonight." Cortez says when we run into each other as I'm getting out of the shower and he's getting in.
"Fuck off Ian." I grunt not in the mood for his jokes.
"No seriously E, it's a brave thing you're doing. God knows I could never." He replies.
"I guess that's the difference between us." I say and with that walk out of the bathroom and to the locker room to get dressed.
As I lace up my boots, my phone lights up with a text that slightly derails my plans. It's my sister-in-law Sandra asking me to pick up my nieces from school. I consider ignoring the text completely but after weighing all my options I decide that I have enough time to pick them up and still make it in time for my appointment.
On my way out of the firehouse I walk past our house of heroes where a similar face to mine gazes back at me.
"See you tomorrow pops." I say kissing my fist and slightly bumping it against the framed glass with my father's face behind it.
Being a firefighter is more than a career for me, it is a legacy handed down to me from my great grandfather. But being a fourth generation firefighter comes with a lot of expectations especially since my father was once Captain of Ladder 171. Unfortunately, he died in the line of duty when I was in high school but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him or the huge shoes he left me to fill.
I love my job; it is in my blood but it doesn't come without challenges. This is a career dominated by white poster boys and as a black man trying to make a difference in society that fact makes it very challenging for me. This field of work is not as evolved as people think it is. They are few women and even fewer black men. But if all three generations behind me were able to make a difference and so will I.
My phone rings just as I am getting into my Mustang and I pick up immediately when I see it's my sister calling.
"Hey E." Bella chirps as soon as the call connects.
"What's up siz?"
"I need a favor." She starts using her pleading voice.
"Lemmi guess, you need me to pick the girls from school." I reply.
"Yes please. How did you know?"
"Brotherly intuition." I reply sliding in behind the wheel.
"Sandra already called you didn't she?" She asks calling me on my bluff.
"Yes, I just clocked out and I am on my way to pick them up right now." I explain.
"Thank you, I owe you one."
"Yes you do."
I hang up and pocket my phone consequently starting my car and driving away from the firehouse. I like giving Bella a hard time but in all honesty I don't mind picking the girls up from school. Spending time with them is always the highlight of my day.
I arrive at the school just in time for pick up. They don't know it's me picking them up and they might miss my car since it's fairly new so I get out and lean on it.
It does not take them long to exit the school doors. Penelope, the eldest is holding Cora's hand as they search for one of their moms on the extensive pick up line. They look like the perfect mix of their moms with glowing caramel skin, honey brown eyes similar to my own and dark curls currently flying in the wind.
"Uncle E!!" They scream excitedly when they see me.
"My angels, give uncle E some love." I say bending over in time to catch them. "Gosh I missed you guys."
I straighten up with both of them in my arms making them squeal excitedly.
"We missed you too uncle E." They chorus.
I set them down and hold them at arm's length. "Have y'all grow taller since the last time I saw you?"
"You always say that every time you see us." Penelope laughs.
"I know, I just can't believe how fast you two are growing." I reply.
Penelope is ten years old while Cora is seven, she's a little small for her age but what she lacks in size she makes up for it in brains. Cora is my little genius while Penelope is my athlete. She is on the school's swim team and when this girl is in the water not even the fish stand a chance.
"Okay get in, time to go home." I say to them opening the backdoor for them to get in.
On the drive home there isn't a quiet moment as they fill me in on all that I've missed ever since I saw them a couple of weeks ago. Penelope is excited for her final term in elementary school and she cannot wait for middle school. Cora on the other hand isn't so pleased with that idea because she will be all alone. But then we get to talk all about her upcoming science fair and all her sadness is forgotten.
"Home sweet home." I announce parking in front of the two storey house the Lamar ladies call home.
"Thank you for picking us up uncle E." Penelope says helping Cora with her seatbelt.
"Anytime angels." I reply getting out to get the door for them.
I use my key to let us all into the house hoping to get the girls set up before I leave but I am surprised when we walk in to find both of their moms' home.
They and in the kitchen talking in hushed tones but as soon as they notice us they stop and plaster on the fakest of smiles. My sister Bella is perched on a stool with her reading glasses towering over her wife Sandra who is standing next to her.
The two have been together since high school and got married as soon as they graduated from college. They are perfect for each other with Bella being a 5'9 stud and Sandra being a petite little thing standing at 5'3. I truly admire their relationship, having been together for more than twenty years but at the moment I feel like they have set me up and used my love for my nieces against me.
"Hi mom."
"Hi mama." The girls greet hugging them.
"Hey girls, how was school?" Bella asks.
"The usual." Penelope answers with a shrug diving right for the fridge.
"Why did I have to pick up the girls if you are both home?" I ask the two ladies foregoing all pleasantries.
They look at each other for a moment giving each other a weird look that is hard to decipher before turning to me.
"Calm down Ethan. We just wanted to talk to you about your appointment." Sandra answers.
"What appointment? Are you sick uncle E?" Cora asks.
"No baby, I'm not sick. Why don't you two give me and your moms some space? There is something we need to talk about." I request them.
"Okay." The agree begrudgingly as they leave the kitchen dragging their backpacks behind them.
As soon as they are out of sight I turn to their moms with an annoyed look on my face. "Guys!" I groan in frustration.
"We know it's not our place we just wanted to make sure you are really sure about this." Sandra expresses.
"I am." I assure them even though my voice is a little bit shaky.
"We just know how big of a deal this is and how much you've already sacrificed." Bella expresses with a sad smile.
"You guys are the main reason I am doing this. I have been thinking about it for a very long time and I need to do it now. I turn thirty-five soon and after that I am no longer eligible so I am going to do this. I've already done all the tests, been through rigorous screening processes and I finally got the green light so yes I am ready." I assure them.
"Okay, we just wanted you to be sure." Bella says with a smile.
"You are going to make someone out there very happy." Sandra adds.
"Thank you guys, I know. Can I go now before I miss my appointment all together?" I request them.
"Yes of course you can go. Good luck." Sandra replies hugging me.
"I don't need luck, I've been doing it since I was fourteen." I grin mischievously wiggling my eyebrows at them
"Ew, gross." Bella shivers making a disgusted face that makes me laugh.
"Bye sis. See you guys later." I excuse myself leaving their house.
My thoughts are filled with what I am about to do on the whole drive over and part of me wants to turn around, go home and forget this crazy idea but then I remember why I am doing it in the first place. I have already made a commitment and no matter how scary it is; I am going to honor it.
When I arrive at my destination I park out front and stare at the front door for what feels like hours yet it's probably just a few minutes. The minute I walk through those doors and make my deposit there is no coming back.
Before I change my mind, I get of the car and head inside. Unfortunately, my entrance is not as graceful as I want it to be because I run into someone. Our shoulders collide causing her to drop whatever she has in her hands.
"So sorry." I apologize bending over to pick up the folder she's dropped.
"No, my bad I wasn't looking where I was going." She assures me.
"This is for you." I say holding out the folder.
The moment our eyes meet it feels as if the whole world stops spinning for a moment. She has the biggest pair of chestnut brown eyes I have ever seen. I step back forcing her whole face to come into focus and by God if she isn't exquisite. Aside from her mesmerizing eyes she has these long lashes that look like they are sweeping her cheeks each time she blinks, a cute nose and her lips, oh God her lips. Her lower lip is heavier than the upper one making them look very kissable. Her skin is a shade darker than mine, so gorgeously dark and delectable.
"Are you okay? I didn't accidentally give you a concussion did I?" She asks with an apologetic smile.
I blink rapidly when I realize that I am ogling a total stranger. Damn she must think that I am a creep. Who is still staring at her when she has asked me something.
What was it again? Oh am I okay? Definitely not after meeting her.
"No ... I uh... I'm good." I stutter.
"Okay, well sorry again and thank you." She says taking the folder from my hands.
Before I can say anything else she walks away leaving me standing there all alone. It takes me a moment to regain my bearings and by then she is long gone. For a moment I think I have imagined our whole encounter but the bruised feeling on my shoulder lets me know that it was all real.
Definitely the wrong place to be thinking about picking up women. For all I know her husband or wife is right behind her so I hustle and enter the clinic. She was breathtakingly beautiful though and there is no denying that.
I walk up to the reception recalling why I am here in the first place.
"Mr. Lamar." The familiar nurse behind the reception desk greets me.
"Hi Jo." I reply.
"Right on time. Are you ready?" She asks me.
"I think so." I mumble.
She gives me an encouraging smile. "It's okay to be nervous. Take all the time you need. You will find everything you need in the bathroom."
"Thanks Jo."
I leave the reception desk and walk into the bathroom where I find a stack of porn magazines and a specimen cup right next to it. I pick it up and stare at it strangely and that's when the weight of what I am about to do fully crashes upon me. I thought this was going to be easy, I mean I have been jerking off ever since I hit puberty with no issue but when I really need to I can't get it up, even with the help of the magazines.
Bella and Sandra are my biggest inspirations to be doing this. Seeing my sister and her wife have such a hard time to conceive was so hard for me. They explained the statistics to me and I realized that very few black men donate their sperm to fertility clinics. This means that black women who have a hard time conceiving or black lesbian couples who want to start a family always have less to work with than white women.
Half an hour later I leave the bathroom with my head bowed.
"All done?" Jo asks when she sees me.
"No I couldn't do it. I'm sorry." I apologize feeling ashamed.
I really did try in there but I just couldn't do it.
"It's okay, this is more common than you think, why don't I reschedule your appointment and give you some more time to think about it." Jo suggests with a kind reassuring smile.
Her words do little to make me feel better but I nod nonetheless. "Yes please, thank you."
After rescheduling my appointment, I walk out of the fertility clinic feeling like a true disappointment. It's been months of preparing for today but when it truly came down to it I have chickened out like the coward that I am. Maybe those two weeks till my next appointment will help give me the courage that I need but as for now I need to go home and get some much needed rest.
My mood lightens up a bit when I walk towards my car to find the beautiful lady I ran into on my way in leaning against my car reading the folder she had on her. Maybe this is a sign from the universe that I haven't completely messed up.
"Hi." I greet walking up to her.
She looks up her face lighting up in recognition. "You again?"
"Me again." I nod deploying one of my charming smiles. "I'm Jericho."
"Hillary."
"Beautiful name, so how may help you Hillary?"
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My inspiration for my MMC is Jordan Calloway. I first saw him in