Amidst the sizzle of grilling meat and the lively chatter of friends, the Korean BBQ restaurant pulsated with an infectious energy. "Cheers!" the group's voices were in harmony as they clinked their beer glasses together. Taehyung and Jeongguk were grinning ear-to-ear as each of their friends who sat around the table, gulped down the beer.
"I didn't think a day would come that we came together to celebrate Taehyung and Jeongguk getting back together" Jin said, making everyone chuckle.
"I didn't have this coming either" Jimin said. "In the past ten years, every time these two came for a hangout, it was chaotic"
"It stressed us out too because you two always fought" Hoseok said.
"Taehyung and Jeongguk were an epic couple back then" Namjoon added.
Taehyung smiled at Jeongguk next to him, their hands entangled under the table. Jeongguk grinned back at him, the smaller man's starry eyes staring back at him in such a pretty way that it made Taehyung's heart skip a beat.
"We're celebrating three weeks today" Jeongguk said, a pretty blush adorned his cheeks.
Taehyung's breath caught in his throat as he watched his boyfriend, a surge of emotion flooding his senses. He had been the happiest in ten years since the day they got back together. It had felt like his life was complete. As if he had found the last missing puzzle piece; Jeongguk.
"I might be forgetting things" Seojoon said, "Don't blame me, it's been a year. This all happened because of that Beckson guy right?"
A few nodded. "Yeah, kind of" Jeongguk said. "But we understood that it was just a misunderstanding and a lot of miscommunication"
"I'm happy for you guys" Yoongi smiled. "You two were meant to be"
"You guys cleared things out?" Jimin asked. "I remember Jeongguk being so petty about the whole situation, though Taehyung was just friends with Beckson"
"Hey, are you saying it's my fault now?" Jeongguk asked, making Jimin grin.
Taehyung wrapped his hand around Jeongguk's shoulder. "We were kids back then and we were both immature. Now we're pushing thirties so we both have grown"
A bunch of 'wow's escalated from the group and Jeonnguk grinned at Taehyung cheekily.
"I haven't seen Jeongguk this happy in a long time"
"Wait... why was Jeongguk jealous of Beckson, again?" Wooshik asked.
"I thought Beckson liked Taehyung" Jeongguk looked at Taehyung. "I was right"
"I kind of had a feeling too but why would it matter? I loved Jeongguk" Taehyung said nonchalantly and their friends nodded in agreement.
"He never asked you out?" Yoongi asked.
Taehyung shrugged. "Does it matter?"
"Oh my god, did he?" Jimin gasped. "Spill"
Taehyung sighed. "Well... yeah. Once, in my first year at university. Why does it even matter?!
"Wow, Jeongguk's jealousy was fair" Yoongi said.
Taehyung smiled, taking another sip of his beer and it was then only he noticed how still and stiff Jeongguk was next to him. He looked at Jeongguk, who also turned his head.
"You didn't tell me he asked you out" Jeongguk whispered quietly.
"What? That was ten years ago" Taehyung whispered. "I turned him down, of course. I never felt more than friendship for him. And I already told you that I knew he liked me in university and had a suspicion he might have liked me in school"
Jeongguk gulped. "But you left it out when we were talking things out"
"It was so insignificant that it slipped my mind" Taehyung said.
"It's not insignificant" Jeongguk whispered.
"Baby" Taehyung looked at Jeongguk, a sinking feeling taking over him. "Please"
Jeongguk gulped and looked back at the table. The rest of the night went on peacefully, and Jeongguk didn't seem out of character either. Taehyung thought that Jeongguk had let it go. Afterwards, they got into Taehyung's car to drive to Jeongguk's place, as they intended to spend the night there. However, Taehyung wasn't able to drive in silence for too long.
"I wish you had told me about it" Jeongguk said, watching Taehyung from the passenger seat.
"Jeongguk, why is it important?"
"Because it's the exact thing I feared in high school! You being taken away from me by him!"
"But it didn't happen! And he asked me out after over one year after we broke up"
Jeongguk was silent after that. However-
"But-"
With a heavy sigh, Taehyung pulled the car to the dark sidewalk. "So we're really doing this"
"What?"
"Fighting over Beckson!"
"I'm not fighting! I'm just telling you that you should've told me about it! It was important"
"Okay, fine. It was a mistake and it really did slip my mind. Honestly" Taehyung said. "But I still think it's insignificant. I thought we were over our past. But apparently, no"
"Well, I thought we already talked everything out. Apparently, no"
"Gosh, Jeongguk. Why does it matter that dude asked me out? We both dated so many people in the past decade"
"I know but this is Beckson"
"Beckson shouldn't make you jealous or insecure! Baby, please. Why are you doing this?"
"I'm not doing anything!"
"You are!" Taehyung's heart squeezed painfully. "You're doing the exact thing you did ten years ago. You're trying to make Beckson a problem when he isn't worth anything to me. I haven't seen him in like seven years so why the fuck are we talking about him right now?"
Jeongguk sighed. "I don't know! It bothers me!"
"I was in love with you ten years ago and I'm still in love with you! When my love for you is so strong and evident, why are you brining is a guy that is completely irrelevant in our lives? Some friend I had in school and university? After we both had much serious relationship throughout the last decade? I just don't understand! Why are you so bothered by him alone?"
Jeongguk stared at the empty road before him. "I don't know"
"It shouldn't bother you now, baby. I thought we decided to leave the past in the past. We are not the same people we were a decade back"
"You're right"
"We can't do this if you're going to keep bringing Beckson to start arguments like this. You need to leave him in the past. I swear I would've forgotten his name by now if it weren't for the fights his name brought to us"
Jeongguk stayed silent.
"We're just reopening old wounds" Taehyung whispered.
"But if it bothers me, should we not talk about it?" Jeongguk muttered.
"Why does it bother you in the first place?"
"It's not just about Beckson. It's about feeling like I'm in the dark, like there are parts of your past you haven't shared"
Taehyung's expression softened. "Okay I get it. But I thought you would've healed from all that by now"
"It's only been little time since we confessed to each other, so maybe not"
Taehyung nodded. "I wish you would put it all in the past and focus on us. The present. It's just you and me in the present"
"I..."
"What?"
Jeongguk looked at Taehyung with wide, round eyes. "I want to say something"
"Go on"
"Back then, I could see right through Beckson's intentions. You didn't believe me. You think everyone comes to you with good intentions but they don't. You're naive and more open to people. I kept telling you over and over again back then how Beckson doesn't have good intentions towards you and-"
"Jeongguk" Taehyung groaned, running his hands through his hair. "I get it. You were right. But none of that meant a flying fuck to me. It doesn't now, either. I feel like you're still not over our breakup, even after we are back together now. I thought you would have changed. But the fact that you're bringing this up again proves how you are still threatened by a guy who isn't even in our lives right now!"
"I... I did change! I'm not like I was back then"
"But we're doing the same thing we did ten years back, don't you think?"
Jeongguk fiddled with his fingers. "I can't help it. It bothers me"
"It shouldn't"
"Well, it does and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can think about is what other things you might have kept from me, just like this one"
It felt like someone had punched Taehyung in the gut as he stared at Jeongguk. "You don't trust me. Just like you didn't trust me to be just friends with Beckson"
"What? No. It's not-"
"Then what is it? I already told you everything and you still don't trust me! What do you want me to do? I can't change the past! You're moving backwards, Jeongguk. not forward in this relationship like we thought we would"
Jeongguk inhaled sharply.
"Beckson will come up in conversations in the future and I can't have you fighting with me every time he does. Three weeks ago, we settled the past but you're still dragging ancient history into our relationship. It's different from addressing a doubt. This constant suspicion, picking at old wounds... it's tearing us apart. I can't keep convincing you of my loyalty. We're adults but I still see that teenage boy in you, Jeongguk"
Jeongguk looked away, the tension thickening. "You're right. I haven't still moved on from the past and I need time. I can't help but feel this way"
Taehyung sighed, hand coming to massage his temples. A few long seconds of silence stretched between them. "Maybe this was a mistake"
"Yeah, maybe it was"
"I..." Taehyung searched for words. "I don't know how to fix this"
"I don't either" Jeongguk whispered heavily.
"I don't think I can have a future with someone who lives in the past"
Jeongguk gulped. "Then maybe I'm not the one for you"
With that said, Jeongguk opened the passenger seat and got out of the car. Jeongguk watched him walk away through the rearview mirror, his heart shattering into a million pieces once again.
🪢
:)