(Listen to "Linger" by The Cranberries)
Hailey's P.O.V.
The silence was absolutely killing me. I listened to the soft humming of the car's radiator, as we cruised down the road, yet I still felt a chill in my bones.
I felt the cold of the car window pressed against my temple, cooling the feverish feeling bubbling beneath my skin. I winced as Karl hit a pothole and my forehead pressed harder into the glass.
I am never drinking again.
I closed my eyes, hiding from the glaring beam of the morning sun. It was much too early to face the painful existence that was my current reality.
As I stared into the darkness of the backs of my eyelids, the images of last night waltzed across my mind. Every curve of my body was on fire like there was some magnetic force slowly pulling me closer to the man sitting on my left. Yet I kept my eyes squeezed shut, not being able to face the lingering tension that winding between our bodies.
I can't believe I asked him to kiss me...
I can't believe he kissed me...
I've kissed plenty of guys before and it's always meant nothing... so why can't I stop thinking about the way his lips held mine? The images invaded my mind before I could stop them. The feeling of his hand on my cheek, tangled in my hair, slowly trailing down my back...
He was haunting me.
I let out an audible groan with the last thought. It rippled through the silence of the car, and I heard Karl shift in his seat next to me.
I curiously peered an eye open to glance at him suspiciously, but when my gaze met his, he was already staring at me "What?" I grumbled, trying to mask the red tinge on my face with unwavering annoyance.
"Nothing," He mused, a smirk dancing on his features, completely unaffected by my misery, "Just wondering how that hangover's feeling?"
I rolled my eyes at the feigned concern lacing his words, "Fabulous" I spit out sarcastically.
Our silence resumed, only excused by our unspoken agreement to never talk of last night again. I rested my head against my awaiting palm as I stared out the window, the familiar scenery flashing by me so quickly I could feel my stomach turn in retaliation.
I grimaced at the feeling, "Never let me drink again" I moaned out. I hid my face in the crook of my arm, not wanting to face the harsh morning sun any longer.
Karl chuckled a bit before saying, "Tell it to Aly. Now pull your shit together, we're here"
I sat up from my slumped position and laid my eyes upon the massive unit that was Beast Co.'s warehouse.
I felt a sigh leave my lips as I glared at the gigantic metal building, "Great"
. . .
"Morning, lovebirds"
The taste of last night still lingered on my lips as I felt nervousness course through my blood at the voice. I turned to stare at the shit-eating grin plastered across Nolan's face, as he stood, arms crossed staring at Karl and me.
I rolled my eyes before spitting out, "Go eat a bag of dicks, Nolan"
"Hey, I could report you to HR!" He quipped, a fit of giggles sounding through his words.
I heard Karl's deep chuckle sound in my ear behind me. I tried to ignore the shivers that ran up my spine as my body instinctively responded to him.
I felt Karl take a step closer to my backside, making my stomach begin to swirl. I refused to meet his eyes, too concerned that he would see my hidden need to feel his lips once more. I monitored his every casual move as he bent over slightly to whisper in my ear, "I'll see you in the meeting, Dunnlap"
Stubbornness flushed through my body as I crossed my arms and nodded my head. I watched soundlessly as Karl sauntered past me, over towards the giggling form of Nolan, finding a new entertainment in watching my discomfort.
As I watched his retreating form, attempting to conceal my discomfort at the increased attention.
Dead-set on seeming confident and controlled, I set my shoulders and held my chin up high as I pivoted on my heel to where Kris and Maddy stood curiously watching me stroll towards them.
"Hey," I greeted the two with a sheepish smile, desperately trying to ignore their questioning stares.
"Hey," Maddy quipped, a sly smirk on her face, "So uh- what's new with you?" She said, barely containing the eager smile written across her features.
I rolled my eyes at their semantics, "Oh, ya know... not much..." I teased, analyzing the wear on the tile beneath my shoes.
The three of us sat in quiet for a moment, no one being brave enough to ask the questions that lingered.
Yet, the silence was soon forgotten as Kris drew my attention with a demanding tone, "Hailey."
I rolled my eyes in anticipation, "Kris" I replied in a much lighter tone, finally glancing up to meet her unimpressed stare.
"So, do you want to go ahead and explain why the world is convinced you and Karl are dating?" I shook my head at her question, dreading my long day of explaining myself.
"Well, basically what happened is-"
"Save it," Maddy held a hand up, stopping me mid-sentence, "Jimmy has already briefed all of us. We want the real shit. We want to know when you turned into a blushing schoolgirl around Karl Jacobs?"
Shit.
I felt my breathing stop as I bit my lower lip in nervousness, "I'm not a blushing schoolgirl..." I grumbled, not loving her choice of words, "We just grabbed a coffee together because my car broke down and Karl offered to help me." I explained, training my eyes on Maddy.
I could feel Kris' curious glare melting the side of my brain, yet I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. But Kris commanded my attention with her next words, "He brought you to Annie's?"
My head turned in her direction, as my eyes squinted in bewilderment, "How'd you know that?"
She shook her head softly, "There's no coffee shop like it in North Carolina, I'd recognize it anywhere"
I felt my confusion grow as a pit in my stomach formed, "You've been?"
She nodded, "Plenty of times, it was the only spot Karl and I could hang out during COVID"
I nodded my head slightly at her words, remembering Karl and I's conversation, "I'm just surprised he brought you there, that's all" Kris commented, catching my attention once again.
"Why?" I asked skeptically, "It's just a coffee shop"
Kris raised her eyebrows, "To Karl, it's much more than a coffee shop"
My eyebrows furrowed at her words, and I felt the confusion spread across my features. But as I parted my lips to attack her with my next barrage of questions, I heard Jimmy's loud voice boom from the other side of the warehouse, "Guys! Conference room 1, please!"
I glanced back to meet Kris' stare, but she was already focused on gliding her way toward the conference room. I stood dumbfounded, forgetting that I was the special guest of our meeting.
"Come on," Maddy whispered, jolting me from my thoughts, "Our local celebrity has to make an appearance" She cackled at the joke and somehow managed to lighten the nerves suffocating me.
I rolled my eyes at her words, before linking arms with her and beginning to drag my legs in the direction of conference room 1.
As we entered the room together, I glanced down at the name tags littered across the table, assigning our seats. I felt my nose crinkle as I stared at the bits of paper.
Well, this is new.
I scanned the names for my own before I finally found it proudly placed at the head of the table and sat next to a very nervous-looking Karl Jacobs.
Give me a fucking break.
I took a deep breath, before forcing my legs to move towards him. As I approached, his eyes looked up to meet mine as a tight smile was passed between us, our once comfortable communication now long forgotten.
Karl broke our eye contact as he reached down to grab the bottom of the rolling chair that sat next to him and pulled it out slightly, a silent invitation for me to sit.
I gave a brief nod of my head to him in thanks as I took my seat.
You could taste the hush rippling through the room. My heart was pounding through my ears. There was a slight buzz to my vision, as I scanned the room, trying to avoid any and all eye contact.
I felt the trickles of my anxiety start to attack, as the panic creeped in behind my poisonous thoughts. I bit the inside of my cheek until the sweet tang of metal began to fill my palette. Sweet relief filled me as I focused on the pain and flavor of my blood, which succeeded in distracting my malicious mind.
My leg began to bounce in a steady rhythm beneath the table, giving me something new to focus on.
Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
My breath hitched and my entire body froze as Karl's warm palm made strong, confident contact with my thigh. I carefully slid my eyes over to him, mindful of the many sets of eyes watching our every movement.
Karl didn't say anything, he didn't have to. With a single touch, he quieted the fears that roared in my blood. His fingers began tracing those lazy circles around my leggings.
His comfort was more addicting than heroin.
I felt myself release the breath I didn't know I was holding in, as I focused my attention back to the front of the room, where Jimmy was stood.
"Thank you all for joining us on such short notice," Jimmy prompted, beginning his speech, "We're not here to argue semantics, so let's cut to the chase" He clapped his hands together.
Here it comes.
"As many of you know, Karl and Hailey were unfortunately photographed together leaving a coffee shop the other day,"
I felt the attention in the room shift over to me, but I kept my eyes trained on Jimmy, refusing to acknowledge the curious stares of my peers.
I felt Karl give my thigh a reassuring squeeze. The immediate comfort I felt from the action disgusted me.
"Due to Karl's predominately female fanbase," Jimmy redirected the attention towards himself, "They have concluded that Hailey and Karl are in a relationship. While 'shipping' is a common theme in this industry, Hailey has previously expressed a desire to remain a separate individual from Beast Co."
"So, to assist her as best we can, we have concluded that our best course of action will be to act like these photos are part of a YouTube video," Murmmers started to fly around the room as the words left his lips, "Quiet, quiet." He commanded, "Our video will be focused on tricking our fanbase into thinking that Karl and Hailey are dating. A grand 'prank' for our audience"
Once again, whispers sounded throughout the room.
I want to die.
"In order," Jimmy's influential voice called the attention back to himself, "To pull this off successfully, I will be requiring you all to sign NDAs, that state you are not allowed to share any information about this plan"
Jimmy nodded at the man standing in a suit beside him, as he began to walk around the room, handing out papers to everyone apart from Karl and myself.
"Do we have any questions?" Jimmy asked. I squeezed my eyes shut, pleading with the universe to take me right then and there, "No? Okay, great. I will see you all on Monday for filming" He finished with a clap of his hands, signaling that the meeting was over.
Cold air brushed over my thigh as Karl quickly released me and rose from his chair. He pushed his way from the room without so much of a glance in my direction.
But I couldn't move, I felt like a caged zoo animal as my coworkers passed me by, shooting one last curious stare at Beast Co.'s newest attraction.
I kept my eyes glued to the table in front of me, tracing the pattern of the worn wood with my eyes. I had no release from the anxiety building in my chest. I started to nervously scratch my neck, my thoughts taking me to a dark place.
Luckily, I was reminded of my whereabouts as I felt someone take the seat beside me. Startled, my attention snapped towards Jimmy who was now sitting in the seat Karl once occupied.
"Hey," His voice cooed softly as a whisper, "Tough day?"
I felt my lip quiver as my eyes met him, "You have n-no idea" I stuttered, trying my best to keep the emotion out of my voice.
Jimmy looked at me with sympathy, before reaching his arm around me to begin comfortingly rubbing my back. My eyes closed at his touch, only hating myself more as I grew disappointed at the lack of circles drawn lazily with his hand.
"It's going to be okay," His voice soothed, "It will work, I'm sure it will"
I heard a wet laugh escape my lips as I opened my eyes, "I know, I know," I reached up to wipe my tears with the palm of my hand, "It's just a shitty situation, that's all"
Jimmy gave me a tight smile as he contemplated his next words. A moment of silence passed between us before he hesitantly said, "I know you're probably not ready to talk about it yet..." I felt myself become guarded before he could even finish his sentence, "But when you are, and only when you are, I'm here to listen"
My heart melted at his kind offer, but I could only bring myself to give him a small nod. He seemed to understand my misery as he whispered, "Okay," He slowly removed his hand from my back, as he started to rise from his chair, "I'm gonna give you a minute, but seriously, let me know if you need anything"
I couldn't meet his eyes. Too disappointed with my own actions to accept his kindness. My voice wouldn't allow me to speak. So I didn't. But Jimmy understood. I heard him move towards the door of the room, and quietly slip out, giving me a much-needed moment alone.
And then, I let it all out.
Time escaped me as my body became wracked with sobs. I was thankful for the soundproofing built into the room, thankful that no one was here to witness the despair that was my downfall.
I pulled my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around myself.
Mourning my individuality.
I tried to steady my breathing as my head rocked back to make contact with the office chair supporting my weight. I stared up at the tiled ceiling, a single thought running through my mind: Karl Motherfucking Jacobs.
I wanted a hug. I wanted him. But I couldn't have him, not really, and I knew that.
I shook my head in disgust with myself.
. . .
Karl's P.O.V.
My entire body felt numb as I stared at her. All I wanted was to touch her, feel her, ensure that she was real. But that couldn't happen, and I knew that.
I tore my eyes away from Hailey, as I tried to regain focus on the words spewing from Chandler's lips, "Yeah bro, that's all to say, I feel like you should just go for it"
I felt my eyebrows draw together in confusion, "What?" I asked, turning my head to face him.
"Ya know, like with Hailey," He said, giving me absolutely no clarification whatsoever.
Ignoring my heightened pulse at her name, I whispered, "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about man" I sighed, looking towards the concrete, where Chandler and I had already bummed two cigarettes after the stress of our meeting.
Chandler rolled his eyes in annoyance at me, "Like explain it to her. Explain everything! How you felt, how you feel now, how I've noticed that you can't seem to take your eyes off her"
My head snapped up at his words, "W-what?" I shook my head in disbelief.
A smug smile danced on his features, "Dude, you think we don't notice it? How close you guys have been since the buried alive video?"
I rolled my eyes at him, "Yeah, we became friends, and now we're in this shit show. What about it?" I grumbled, trying to conceal the heat spreading across the back of my neck.
"I don't know bro," Chandler began with a shrug of his shoulders, "Hailey's great, and it's awesome that you've finally realized it... I just think you may like her in a different way than I do..." Chandler was intentionally careful with his words, his social intelligence shining through his thick southern accent.
I shook my head, lowering my gaze back toward the ground, "Chandler," I began, letting out a tense breath of air, "I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do. But all I'm looking for with Hailey is her friendship. It sucks that we're caught up in this situation, but I'm going to do the right thing and stick by our plan. After these 30 days, it will be like nothing ever happened..."
My voice sounded sad even to my own ears. I don't know what it was about the firey girl that seemed to encompass every corner of my mind, but I just couldn't seem to get her off of it.
Not to mention that kiss...
That kiss...
I've kissed plenty of people before, but no one has ever made me feel the way that she did. I could still taste her, lingering on my lips. My fingers twitched at the thought.
Before I die, I need to kiss Hailey Dunnlap again.
I swallowed roughly, trying to rid of my desires. I didn't know how I felt, about any of this. I just knew that I wanted to kiss her again, and I never wanted to stop.
30 days...
30 days of kissing Hailey Dunnlap... yeah, I think I could work with that.
. . .
this was a little bit different, but we needed the beast team to be aware of what was going on.
promise the next chapter will be more interesting and they will come out more consistently.
thanks so much for reading <3
- The Onlooker