Stressed, that's how Alec felt. Throwing the basketball from his hands into the hoop the older jock couldn't help but grunt. He hadn't seen Blake in a week. He couldn't, he can't. He doesn't wanna get the boy hurt. God he wanted to see him, that's all he wanted to do. He knew ignoring the smaller boy was harsh but in reality Alec was a coward. He didn't know what to do, how to stop his dad from planning what he was. All he wanted to do was grab Blake and run away. But he knew they couldn't do that. They'd be leaving everything behind.
Wiping the sweat off of his head the older jock took a sip of his water. Thoughts of Blake being alone hitting his head. He couldn't stop thinking about the boy. It was like he had infected himself into Alec's body. He hadn't been to school, he can't. He can't face the smaller boy, he didn't wanna hurt the boy more than he already has. Being with him will only hurt him more. Alec knew he was a coward, a little kid inside wanting to be protected. Except when it came to protecting what was his he couldn't do it.
No one understands how bad Alec wants to find the boy and smash their lips together. Tell him he'll be with him every step of the way. The way to freedom, way to happiness. Alec knew bringing this sweet innocent boy into his life would ruin him. He has, Blake just doesn't know it yet. They aren't supposed to mix, Alec ignored that rule. Now these were the consequences he had to face. He never wanted to make the smaller boy feel like shit, god he never wanted to hurt him in the first place.
Throwing the basketball into the hoop once more Alec felt his body freeze. A familiar voice hitting his system, blood running cold.
"What a coincidence" Jessica spoke. A smirk hitting her lips, arms crossed as she stood at the end of the court. The same one where Alec had met Blake for the first time. Watching as she slowly walked forwards Alec grabbed the basketball from the concrete floor.
"What are you doing here Jessica" His voice was deep n annoyed. He couldn't stand the girl anymore than he already had. He knew hooking up with her was a mistake in the first place. Biting her bottom lip her smirk grew much bigger.
"A little boy told me, but don't worry he's okay, Adrian's looking after him" Dropping the ball from his hands Alec felt his heart drop. What had they done to Blake? What are they going to do to him? Laughing at this reaction Jessica only Smirked more. Alec only felt his body begin to burn. This was all his fault, if only because had been there. Fuck. Was all the older jock could say in his head. He had fucked up. Big time, there's no way Blake would forgive him now.
"Oh Alec, I warned him, he didn't listen, your mine, you knew that, he knew that, but neither of you listened"
Raising his fist Alec quickly stopped himself from attacking the girl. Jessica only flinched to this action before taking a step back, she was scared. Alec could tell by the look in her eyes. She knew not to mes with him. She didn't listen. His possessive side taking over as he stood there. His pupils dilating. Skin burning with anger. Just the thought of Adrian laying a single hand on Blake making his mind spin.
"What have you done to him" The older boy asked. His voice dominant, deep and low. This only sent a shiver up the girls spoke as she took another step back. Shrugging her shoulders she knew she was pushing his limits. Watching as his lips twitched into a scowl Jesica only smirked.
"Oh I've done nothing" Watching as his right eye twitched Jessica stood in her place. These words only made Alec growl. An alienated noise escaping his tongue. Visions of what they could have done hitting his head. He had fucked up yet here he was wishing he hadn't been such a coward.
"If I find out Adrian's laid a hand on him I suggest you watch your back" Jessica only scoffed at the older boy. Biting hit tongue Alec did the only thing he's good at, run away from his problems. Walking past the girl their shoulders collided. This only making the smaller girl stumble backwards, a scowl hitting her face.
"You can't get rid of me Alec" Jessica shouted earning a scoff to leave the older boys lips. Alec couldn't believe it, what had happened since he hasn't been to school. All because he was too scared to lose the one person he had cared about. Except being a coward had made that become true. He had lost Blake, was loosing him. There no was no way he could fix it. It just wasn't a good idea. Yet Alec knew what he had to do. He had to make it right, show Blake that he really wants this to work. Even if he had to let the boy go. For now.
Soon finding himself outside the younger boys house Alec felt his nerves rise. What was he supposed to say, what if Blake pushes his him away. Biting his bottom lip the older jock walked up the driveway. Standing outside the familiar door he knocked. Blake mum opening the door. A small smile hitting her face. Yet he could see the anger in her eyes.
"Is Blake home" Alec couldn't breathe. His lungs failing as he stood before the older woman. Her eyes filled with anger yet despair.
"Alec I know you're a good boy, I've seen the way you've treated him, got especially buying him that car, but I just have one question, why" His mum asked. The older boy only shuddering to her tone. He had truly broken him. His actions failed the one person he hoped to never fail.
"I'm sorry, I'm a coward I know, I'm scared, he doesn't know but I have a reason, I care about your son so much, god too much, I don't wanna see him getting hurt, I can't explain how sorry I am, I just need to talk to him, please"
Watching as Blake's mum let out a sigh she nodded her head. Letting him in he gave her a smile before heading up to the smaller boys bedroom. Standing outside the door the jock felt his skin burn. The one boy he cared about so much was only behind this door. The one boy he had broken, let down.
Lightly knocking on the door Alec waited. Only to hear a giant voice from the other side.
"Come in" Taking a deep breath Alec pulled on the door handle. His eyes meeting the pair he had come to fall for. The sight before him only making the older boy break. Blake was beaten, cuts around his face. Pale skin. Adrian had really done a number on him. Fuck. He had fucked up, bad.
Meeting those familiar orbs Blake felt his chest tighten. His eyes beginning to water. He was here, he had finally come back. He hadn't heard from him. He had been ignoring him. Now he was here, in his home, in his bedroom. Blake's only question was why? Why was he ignoring him? Why hadn't he come to school? It hurt. Hurt the smaller boy a lot.
"What are you doing here Alec" Blakes voice was broken. Every breath he took caused pain to shoot up his skin. His skin burning from exhaustion. The one boy he needed had finally come back. But not when he needed him, he was too late.
Alec only shuddered at his boys voice. He sounded lost, broken. He couldn't bare the sight he saw before him, and it was all his fault. Closing Blake's bedroom door Alec sat upon the edge of Blake's bed. The need to feel his boys touch, feel his skin on his own filling his senses. Yet he knew he couldn't, he had no right. Alec couldn't talk, his voice escaping his lungs. Letting out the only words he could.
"I'm sorry" These words only made Blake's breath hitch. The pain he saw linger in Alecs eyes. His shaky voice.
"I should have been there, but I wasn't, I failed you, I let you down, I pushed you away, I'm a coward Blake, there's nothing I can do that could make you forgive me, you needed me and I wasn't there, I was scared, I am"
Blake only frowned as he heard these words escape the older boys tongue.
"But, why" Was all the smaller boy could ask. The need to feel the older boys grasp filling his system. Leaning to grab Alec's hand Blake hesitated. Looking into the older boys eyes he could see tears brim Alec's orbs. Interlocking their fingers Blake tugged at his hand. Obligating to this action Alec shuffled closer only to be engulfed into a hug he didn't know he needed. Wrapping his arms tightly around his boys waist Alec broke. Tears escaping his eyes, sobs leaving his throat.
"My dad found out, found out about us" This only made Blake's heart freeze. He knew what the older boys father was like, how he acts towards Alec. He knows what his dad is capable of. What he could do to anyone he desired.
"I know that's not a reasonable excuse to why I've been ignoring you, I'm scared Blake, I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you, you mean so much to me, more than you'll ever know, I should have kept you out of my life, yet I couldn't, there was just something about you, just you in general that pulled me towards you, you make me feel things I've never felt before, things I never want to lose, I never want to lose you"
Biting on his bottom lip Blake pulled away to meet Alec's gaze. Caressing the older boys cheek Blake felt his chest tighten. The knot inside growing as he watched the older boy in pain.
"I never want to lose you too Alec" Watching as the older jocks lips tugged into a small smile Blake smiled back. Tears striving upon his eyes. Head becoming foggy.
"You don't have to forgive me, but I can't let you get hurt, not again, not by me, cause of me Blake" These words only made the smaller one worry. He can't lose Alec, not now, not ever. He was his light in this dark life. Yet it felt like that light was fading away. Leaving him, like everyone else had done.
"No Alec please don't leave"
Hearing the smaller ones voice break as he spoke these words Alec felt his heart shatter. Connecting their forehead together Alec took a deep breath. Wrapping his hand around Blake's neck he gently connected their lips. The smaller boy slowly kissing back. Tears mixing as the two let their emotions flow. The kiss slow and meaningful. God they had missed this, missed each others touch. To be with the one they cared about so much.
Leaning away from this touch Alec felt his skin turn cold. His body urging him to lean back in, claim those lips once more. Running his hand through Blake's hair Alec couldn't breathe.
"Please Alec"
Letting the tears hit his cheeks more Alec couldn't handle the pain that hit his body. The voice he had come to love breaking. Those eyes he had come to cherish breaking. It was all his fault, he caused this, now he had to end it. He knew it would only break them more. But it was what was best for them. He couldn't handle seeing Blake hurt anymore. Especially when it was all his fault, he had broke the boy before him. Opening his mouth to talk the next few words that left his boys tongue shattered him completely.
"Please don't leave me Alec, I fucking love you"