(Any writing in this font is a flashback, just wanted to clarify. Enjoy! :))
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"Ronan you have to calm down!"
Just an hour after the tragic incident of Ronan's family, the Irish detective was at the station throwing chairs and punching walls, his knuckles splitting and bleeding with each stroke.
"Ahhhh! God dammit!"
His hair was a mess, and his eyes filled with nothing but anger, were red and stained with tears. He was a wreck.
"Ronan, if you don't calm down I will have no choice but to cuff you to the God dam table!"
Ronan froze, his angered eyes motioning towards the other detective. Was he being serious?
"Look, Ronan I am so sorry. Deeply, I am. You are in pain and you have the absolute right to be angry-"
"My family was slaughtered, Jack! Stop telling me to calm down!"
The other detective took a deep breath. He's never seen him act like this before. Ronan was one of his oldest friends, the man he saw now was someone completely different.
"I just want to ask you some questions-"
"You think I did this!?"
"No! Of course not! I already know you were at work!"
Ronan was pissed
"You had to check if I had a fuckin alibi!? I would never hurt my family! Never!"
The man raised his hands in defence
"I know, but we need to check every possibility! It's procedure! You're a detective, you should know that"
Ronan just slid down the wall, his eyes staring into space, his throat sore from shouting and his knuckles dripping with blood. He felt numb. He was so tired.
"My family are dead...."
He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream some more, break things, and let his anger out. But he couldn't feel anything.
"They're gone... I'm never going to see them again"
"Ronan, please... Do you have any idea who could've done this?"
The Irishman shook his head. He had no clue, He's arrested so many people. Many of them could've had it out for him.
Jack sighed and took out his phone
"I'm phoning your brother, you're not in the right state to be on your own. I don't need to handcuff you do I?"
Ronan didn't move. He looked frozen, still like a deer in headlights. His eyes, on the other hand, were hollows of madness. Jack could feel his heart breaking. The guy went through so much shit and was finally happy. He did not deserve this.
"I promise I'll find the person responsible"
No reply
"I'll get someone to check your hands..."
He walked out of the room and left Ronan to his thoughts
------------
"Jack I need you to send me some more case files"
"Ronan, I told you to stop this"
The Irish detective was pacing back and forth in his small apartment, losing patience with the detective on the other side of the line.
"Jack, please! I'm getting closer I have a feeling. I just need the files"
"Do I need to call your brother?"
"Jack-"
Ronan wanted the throw his phone out the window. The man wouldn't let him talk.
"Jack... Please?"
The other line went quiet for a while, a little too quiet in Ronan's opinion. How long does it take?
"I'll see what I can do. But the boss won't like it"
"Tell the Chief if she has a problem, she can call me"
Before Jack had a chance to speak Ronan ended the call. He didn't have time for this. He was getting close to something, he could feel it. He's spent months going over old cases, re-reading the same files he wrote, along with every photo of the criminals he locked up.
Nobody at the station would give him the authority to question any of them, usually because he was forced to go on leave after he caused a scene once he got told the case of his family went cold and they could no longer proceed with the investigation.
It ended with him being handcuffed after he threw equipment at walls and punched the officers who tried to restrain him. He has not been allowed back since, and won't be unless his boss believes he got the help needed to get over the death of his family.
But Ronan didn't want to get over it.
He spent the next hour tidying his apartment, not wanting Jack to accuse him of living like a slob. He was, however the same, Jack didn't need to see it.
He was feeding Luna when he heard a knock at the door. He placed the cat food bowl on the floor, leaving Luna to enjoy her meal.
"Hey Jack, thanks for"
He cut himself off, realising it was not Jack at the door, but his brother.
"Jack rang me, and told me what you were up to"
Ronan turned his back and pulled his hair in frustration, not wanting to say anything bad in front of Finn. He doesn't want him snitching on Sarah again. Filled with rage, he grabbed his coat, and car keys and walked past his brother.
"That little gobshite prick!"
"Ronan! Where are you going?"
He walked out of the building, his breathing heavy as he muttered curse words under his breath. He got into his car and turned on the ignition. Before he could drive off, however, Finn entered the passenger side.
"Finn-"
"If you think you're going down to that goddam station on your own you've got another thing coming. Let's talk inside. There's no need to cause another scene."
Ronan's fingers around the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white.
"This is my problem, Finn! Not yours! You have a wife, a child-"
"And you're my brother. Your wife was my sister-in-law, and your kids were my niece and nephew. Lisa knows I'm here. She wants to make sure you're not alone in this. I'm with you. Jack phoned me because he was worried about you"
"Jacks a cunt and you defending him won't stop me from throwing my fist in his face"
"He was just-"
"So you're on his side!?"
Finn didn't even have a response. He just sighed and put on his seatbelt, already knowing how this was gonna go down. Ronan picked up his speed and drove down to the destination.
Not even twenty minutes later they both arrived at the station. Ronan, not even thinking, grabbed his keys, got out of the car and headed towards the entrance of the building. He knew he was not gonna be allowed in, all the same, he was more than happy to cause another scene.
The security officers already looked defeated, meaning this wasn't the first time Ronan had done this.
"Detective Flynn, how many times have we told you-"
"I need to talk to Detective Jack Evans immediately"
The two security guards shared looks, both debating which one should handle the situation this time.
"Don't worry about this guys, I'll handle it"
There he was. The lying son of a bitch. The two security guards stepped back, allowing the two detectives to talk.
"You lying piece of shit!"
Before Jack even got a chance to explain, Ronan threw a punch, his right hand making contact with Jack's cheek. The guards were about to interfere but Jack, covering his now bruising cheek, threw up his hand, telling them to stay back.
"I was worried about you, I told you I'm not allowed to help you anymore. My neck is on the line"
"I need those files, Jack! I'm getting close to something!"
He could feel another anxiety attack coming on.
"Ronan, take a deep breath"
He felt a hand placed on his shoulder, and his tensed body started to relax as he slowly steadied his breathing.
"I'm fine Finn"
If his brother was not here, the situation would have escalated. He hates the fact his brother has to be the one to calm him down.
He remembers being the one to calm Finn down when they were younger. He would always have to help him with nightmares of his parents, coming home from school beaten black and blue, as well as having to be the one to pick him up when he wanted to give up on his career.
Ronan always knew how to handle his emotions, however, the death of his family changed that.
The two of them argued for a while, Finn trying to calm the situation by getting in the middle of them.
"You know what Jack? You said you wanted to help, that you would do everything it took to find the person liable. You gave up."
"Ronan I-"
"Screw you"
Ronan's trust shattered like a fragile glass, leaving him standing on the shards of broken promises. He then turned on his heels and walked away, he needed to forget about this. His mind was spiralling.
"Ronan, where are you going? What about your car?"
The Irishman threw his keys over his shoulder and kept walking
"Don't follow me, Finn, I swear to god! I need to think..."
The sting of betrayal was as sharp as a dagger thrust into his heart. He kept walking and made his way to his usual bar. He felt as if everyone was out to get him. Like he was on an island in a sea of strangers or a lone star in a galaxy of unfamiliar faces. Sure they were trying to help him, but he hates pity. He would rather be alone than have people feel sorry for him. It makes him feel weak.
Around fifteen minutes later he made it to the bar, walking inside only to see a man passed out in his usual seat. Already filled with anger and annoyance Ronan pushed the man off and took his seat. The man, confused, sluggishly stood up and turned to the detective. He was about to make a scene and yell at him, except, seeing Ronan's eyes filled with rage he took a step back.
"There was no need to be rude Ronan"
The usual bartender picked up a whiskey glass, already knowing what the regular customer was going to order.
"I've had a shit day Sam, just get me my usual will ya?"
He threw the cash and started to tap on the counter with his index finger, trying to find a rhythm that could calm him down. Once the drink was placed in front of him he downed it, the burning sensation in his throat easing his anxiety.
"Keep em coming bartender"
The next couple of hours were repetitive. Refills and sorrow.
---
"Come on Sam... One more drink"
The bartender sighed, the amount of money this guy must spend a day on drinks was unbelievable. Sure it was good for the business, yet, he felt sorry for the man. If the manager wasn't such a greedy, selfish git, Sam would not even serve Ronan. Every time he comes in, the manager's eyes seem to always light up. Sam asked him once if he could not serve the detective. Seeing him in a bad place was killing him, and the thought of giving him alcohol was not the best idea.
The manager laughed in Sam's face. He didn't care about anyone but himself. He said he'd fire Sam if he refused service to anyone, and if Sam didn't need the job, he would've quit long ago. Now here he was, seeing a good friend once again plastered in front of him. The guilt was killing him.
"You've had enough old friend. I'm taking you home"
He was ready to help the man out until he heard the door open.
"No need for that. I'll look after him"
Ronan tensed, It was like the whole world wanted to ruin his day.
"Go away Jack, I've said my peace"
"Fine. But I guess I'll be taking this with me then"
Ronan was confused, but then suddenly turned his head seeing Jack holding the case files. He went to quickly grab them, however forgetting how drunk he was, he ended up tripping over his own two feet and immediately hit the floor.
"Jesus Christ Ronan"
He felt two pairs of hands struggling to pick him up and cursing under their breath.
"How can someone who barely eats be as big and strong as you are"
They placed him back in the booth, Jack taking the seat next to him and the bartender finishing up cleaning.
"You're a fuckin mess, my friend"
"God, I wonder why Jack?"
Ronan groaned, he could feel the alcohol affecting him
"You know this shit doesn't help right? Drinking your sorrows away and feeling sorry for yourself?"
"Screw you"
Jack laughed and stood up. He couldn't leave him like this.
"Yeah, you already said that. How about we get you home?"
The detective only nodded. As much as he hated it, he knew he wouldn't be able to walk on his own.
-----
"You are so goddam heavy!"
It took a while for Jack to get Ronan back to his room. Getting him in the car was the easy bit. However, the elevator being broken was a problem. Ronan lived on one of the top floors. So having a not-so-tall detective help a tall, strong, but drunk off-his-ass Irish detective up the stairs was a pain in the ass.
Let's just say it took a while.
Jack opened the door and helped the detective into the room, placing him on the sofa.
Placed is not the right word. More like Jack pushing the drunk Irishman off him, who then collapses onto the sofa.
"I wanted to talk to you, but I think I'll wait till you sober up"
"I'm fine-"
"You're not fine Ronan. You're hurting and in pain. It kills me seeing you like this"
Jack turned his back and took a deep breath. Now wasn't the time to argue.
The Irishman didn't have it in him to talk either. He was way too tired. So he just listened to what the other had to say.
"I'm sorry I hurt you. I did everything I could to help find the person responsible. I didn't want to stop. I had no choice, the case went cold and there was nothing I could find to re-open it"
Jack sighed, he wished he could make everything easier for him, to get rid of the pain and the endless nightmares.
"It killed me when I had to tell you. It destroyed me seeing you break down and hurt yourself. I wish I could just take it all away"
He meant it. Ronan had told Jack all the crap he went through growing up. Losing his dad in the army, his mother becoming distant and getting sick.
Ronan had to be both a mother and father to Finn. He told Jack he wanted to give up on many occasions, nearly contacting social services to send Finn away and wish him a better life.
He knew that Ronan was depressed. He was never able to grieve properly. Except, it would've killed Finn and Ronan couldn't have that. So he put on his famous façade and always made it seem like he was okay.
Jack didn't properly believe it until he saw Ronan break down after the death of his family.
"Ronan I-"
He was cut off by the sound of a small bell. It was Luna coming from the kitchen. She jumped on the sofa Ronan was lying on and laid down next to him, stretching her body as she got comfortable.
This quickly made Jack realise that Ronan had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but notice how tired he looked, dark bags under his eyes. The guy hasn't had a proper good night's sleep in months. Jack grabbed a blanket and placed it over the Irishman, leaving Luna room to snuggle up next to him.
She was such a loyal cat. It seemed as if she missed the family too and understood the hurt and pain Ronan was going through.
------
"Mr Flynn, can you hear me?"
Ronan had not realised the amount of people in the room. He had not yet moved after Jack left to phone his brother. How long has he been there?
"Mr Flynn, I need you to say something"
There was a bright light flashing in his eyes and Ronan quickly flinched realising it was a doctor holding a torch.
"Yeah... Yeah I can hear ya"
His throat felt dry and sore. The man quickly moved the torch from his eyes allowing Ronan to get a clear view of who was actually in the room. There was Jack, the Chief, and his brother Finn, along with other nosy officers peeking from outside the door. God, he feels embarrassed.
Jack saw his face, not realising the officers behind him. He quickly closed the door, an apologetic look on his face when he turned back to Ronan.
"I could do with a drink of water if you have any?"
As if in the queue, Finn quickly walked over and placed a cup of water in his brother's hands. Ronan whispered a thank you before taking a sip, the coldness of the water easing his throat.
"Can you tell me your full name and where you are?"
"Uh... Ronan Patrick Flynn and I'm at the Metropolitan Police Station, where I work"
He tried to get up but he was too exhausted.
"What... what happened to me? It feels like I got crushed by a house"
The Doctor placed his stethoscope on his ears, the other end on Ronan's heart.
"You suffered a severe anxiety attack and went into shock. Detective Jack Evans informed me he only left you for a minute and quickly found you holding your knees to your chest unable to breathe, which led you to then to then go into shock. You were uncommunicative for a good half an hour minutes. You scared us all, Mr Flynn."
He removed his stethoscope and placed away his equipment.
"You're heart rate has increased and your temperature is high. I suggest you go home and get some rest"
Ronan forced himself off the floor, his knees wobbling as he did. Everything went dizzy for a few seconds and his head started to ache.
"I can't. I-I need to get back to work"
He went to leave but felt a hand placed on his chest. Ronan looked up, realising it was the Chief. She had a sympathetic but determined look on her face.
"Go home detective. That is an order. We have people working on this case and we will do everything we can to keep you informed".
She must be joking right? There was no way Ronan wanted to go home and do nothing. The killer is still out there, laughing at him. Just imagining that was enough to make his blood boil.
"You know I can't do that boss. I can't rest, not with the guy still out there"
"I wasn't asking Ronan, and I won't repeat myself. If you fail to follow my direct order I will have you arrested ".
She took a deep breath. She wasn't trying to sound stern. Ronan couldn't even understand properly. His ears had started to ring and his headache had gotten worse.
"You lost your family. You're angry, I get that. But if you think I am going to let you out there, in the state of mind you are currently in, you must think I'm crazy. Go home, and get some sleep. I'll call you".
He was ready to argue but felt himself collapse again. Jack and Finn both caught him in time as he was about to hit the floor.
-----
"Jesus Christ"
This has to be one of the worst hangovers he's had in a long time. The inside of his head felt like drums were playing and he felt sick. Not like he doesn't deserve it though. He brought this on himself.
"Here. take these"
He looked up a saw Jack holding a glass of water and two pills. Ronan politely took them and whispered a thanks before placing the pills in his mouth.
"How are you feeling?"
What a stupid question. The look Ronan gave made Jack chuckle.
"That bad huh? I'm not surprised. It was an effort getting you back here"
Great. Now he feels bad. The bruise on Jack's cheek made him feel worse.
"Yeah... thanks for that. Listen I wanted to apologise-"
"You don't need to apologise, Ronan, I understand"
The Irishman placed the now empty glass on the table, rubbing his face as he groaned. Man, this headache won't be going away anytime soon.
"No, I do. You were only looking out for me. It just really got to me when you got Finn involved. You know I like keeping him away from these things"
Jack only realised that after Ronan walked away from the two of them after the argument back at the station.
Seeing Finn standing there not knowing what to do made him remember that it was Ronan who looked out for Finn, not the other way round.
Finn saw Ronan as a superhero when they were kids, believing Ronan was invulnerable. So seeing him the way he is now must've killed him for not seeing it sooner. Jack is an only child, he never had the chance to have that experience. So it took him a while to understand what Ronan meant.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help-"
"And I get that, I do. But I'd rather would've had you call Sarah if you were that worried. Finn has a life now, a kid on the way. He doesn't have time for me"
Jack was shocked. He didn't know Finn was gonna be a dad. Ronan's face dropped as soon as he said that.
"I shouldn't have said that. Do me a favour and act surprised when he tells you"
The man let out a small laugh.
"I promise. And Ronan?"
The other man looked up.
"Promise me I won't find you in that state again. I get it's a coping mechanism for what you're going through, but you can talk to me"
Ronan went quiet for a moment. He knows how bad he can get, and can't help it when his emotions get the best of him. He's only just learning to control them again.
"I'll try..."
I guess that's the best Jack is gonna get. But it's something and he'll take it.
"Listen... I uh, gotta get back to work. I'm already late as it is. I left the files on the table. The Chief doesn't know that they're gone. I'll pop by later and pick them up. I don't need her breathing down my neck again"
He went to get up and leave, but before he could make it to the door, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him like chains. He quickly realised Ronan pulled him in for a hug.
"Thanks, Jack, you don't know how much this means to me"
The small detective only smiled and hugged his friend back.
"It's okay. I couldn't let you be mad at me forever. Your brother would kill me"
Ronan laughed and released the hug, patting the other detective on the shoulder.
"Go on now, off with ya, I've got work to do. There's probably a kid robbing a chocolate bar from a shop or something "
Jack gave a fake offensive look before leaving. Ronan felt a massive weight fall from his shoulders. Talking to Jack always makes him feel better, even though he can be an idiot at times, he is still there for him.
He quickly grabbed the files Jack left on the table and looked at the name that was highlighted.
Mark Hawksley
---
A/N
Nice. I managed to get another chapter done. This one interested me. I wanted to get more into what happened to Ronan's family as well as the mental effect it has on him. Hope you guys are enjoying it so far.
I know there's only a small amount of you guys at the minute reading this, but I'll take it. Just seeing the fact that some of you lot are enjoying this makes me happy. I love detective stuff.
I know this story may not be too exciting yet but it's only chapter 3. Hope you like the next one. Not sure how long it'll take as I have essays and group projects due soon for uni. (I break up soon thank frick). Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Till the next one...