December slowly seeps into January, and then January is quickly whisked away by freezing February.
I watch the lazy snowflakes hover in the air through the limo window, and I hug myself.
A whirlwind of time has passed fast, way too fast for my liking.
After another ten weeks in Liam's bed and life, I'm beginning to feel so much more for him.
A lot more than I'd like to.
I've been in relationships before. I shake my head in laughter remembering the silly worry I had about whether my mother would approve of my first boyfriend.
Not only that she doesn't approve of Liam, because what mother would, but also, she's tried to kill him.
Yay...
But the earth-shattering sensation I experience with Liam Cavanaugh is unparalleled, impossible to replicate.
For the first time, I understand what being part of a real couple feels like, and it is awkward and amazing and scary.
Liam and I are like one soul in two bodies.
It's the little things I'm getting attached to.
When I walk into his bedroom and catch him putting on his shirt, the air is filled with the scent of his cologne, so familiar and so dear to me.
Everywhere I look, our clothes are scattered all over the floor, and mixed together.
A bottle of my perfume, his razor... a laundry basket filled with his jeans and my lace underthings.
Every day, I open my eyes next to him. We have the longest cuddle sessions and then I either straddle him or he sinks inside of me, as we restlessly sate the pent up overnight hunger.
Our chemistry is through the roof, and the desire is mounting with each embrace, with each orgasm.
After the morning bliss, we always end up in the shower together, washing up each other with so much care and tenderness.
Then I sit and comb and blow-dry my rebel hair, while he buttons up his suit and puts on a tie. We do these little things together before our day truly begins.
Liam's so relaxed around me now. Nothing like in the beginning, when he only allowed for small windows of intimacy before fleeing me completely.
He's let his guard down around me. When he looks at me now, there's no longer discomfort or evasion. Just tenderness and warmth.
It feels like home. He feels like home.
I was obsessed with my handsome host even long before he began admitting the strength of our connection but it's ten times worse now.
Liam's always on my mind, in my heart, wedged deep into my soul.
And god, he shouldn't be.
My brain rewinds to the moment after my grandma's funeral. To the day when I first met him.
He's in the mafia. He's in the mafia, Alex, I repeated those words in my stupid brain hoping they'll stick.
But they didn't.
I've always known Liam is Kieran's right hand. That he has seen, and done his fair share of violence, and death.
And I'm so tired of waiting for a moment to strike at my father.
Tired of seeing Liam playing the role of his obedient puppet.
The job he accepted is so dangerous, so reckless.
Liam thinks he's invincible but he almost died two months ago, dammit.
And someday, perhaps tonight, or tomorrow or some years from now, he could die for real.
Because that's how it is when you are a member of the mafia.
Creed, death and blood.
He lives for Kieran, he dies for Kieran.
That's the way of the Irish mob.
That's why I can't wait for us to get out.
My mother has been laying low, and even if I think of her every day, I'm lately wondering if I need to just let her go, too.
She's not the person I thought she was, and I have changed too.
Perhaps we no longer have a place in each other's lives.
Maybe my main focus should be on Liam and me getting away from my father. Far away, before he and Zerina cross paths again, before Kieran can find out who I am.
Leaving the mafia is the only thing that will keep Liam and me safe.
I don't want him to die, dammit.
I don't want him gone, just like I lost my grandma, and my mom, in a way.
Every day when he walks out the mansion door I imagine it's the last day I'll see him.
My eyes have begged him to stay, time and time again, but he reassured me the preparations are going well.
That's it's the last job he'll ever accept to do for Kieran the Knife Murphy.
And hopefully tonight, the agony finally ends.
The limousine purrs along the city streets, its smooth ride doing little to calm the storm within me. I sit in the backseat, my heart pounding like a drum against my ribs, my mind racing with a thousand worries.
Liam is out there, somewhere in the labyrinth of the Dublin alleyways, executing his most dangerous mission.
I saw the violence Matteo was capable of. The cold and cruel efficiency with which he took any role that suited him to fulfill his needs.
The ease with which he gambled with poor women's lives.
That man is dangerous. He would never go down without a fight.
No matter how discreet, how sneaky Liam tried to be, what guarantees us that the sleazy Italian mobster doesn't already know an attack on his life is planned?
As the limousine rolls on around the block, cruising inconspicuously, ready to pick up Liam as soon as the deed is done, I try to distract myself with thoughts of happy moments, such as the silly and cute pillow fight we had just this morning.
But the images of Liam, his face grim and determined, keep flashing before my eyes.
One last job, and then we find a way to escape from this world of darkness.
The limousine slows to a stop, and I feel a jolt of fear. Has something happened to Liam? Has he been injured or captured?
Or is the job already done?
He surely hasn't been gone for that long?
"What's wrong, Connor?" I ask the new driver.
He's about to turn around and mouth the answer when I recognize Siobhan.
Her face is distorted in a mask of anger, her eyes wide with worry, but it's her.
It's my friend.
I haven't seen her since Nico's death, not for the lack of trying.
She vanished from the club, she wasn't answering my calls or messages. It was as if Siobhan was suddenly gone from the face of the Earth.
She's standing in front of our limo, waving her arms like a lunatic.
I nod reassuringly at Connor, and he stops, allowing her to approach.
Siobhan throws open the door and climbs inside, her movements frantic and agitated.
"Sandra," she says, trembling in earnest, "we have to talk."
The plush leather of the limo seat feels smooth against my bare legs as I shift uncomfortably.
Talk? Why here, why now? How did Siobhan even find me?
My heart echoes the rapid rhythm of the car's sputtering engine. I have no frigging idea what Siobhan wants to talk to me about, but her terrified tone and the look of worry on her face have me on edge.
It must be something incredibly important, if she appeared out of nowhere, after such a long time. Last I saw her on Christmas Eve, her pure white dress was drenched in Nico's blood. She was looking at me across the room like she wanted to kill me on the spot.
I had recurrent nightmares about Siobhan's pale visage, pointing an accusatory finger at me, her voice trembling with rage, and yelling:"This is your fault! This is all your fault!"
Siobhan of today is wearing a slightly tattered black attire, and carrying a pair of high heels in her hand, as if she'd been running barefoot.
She tosses her fur coat on the floor, and sinks into the seat next to me.
Her face is pale and her eyes are filled with... guilt?
When she reaches out and takes my hand, her touch sends an unpleasant jolt of electricity through my body.
"Sandra, there's something I need to tell you."
I open my mouth, so many questions bubbling up at the tip of my tongue. Then I change my mind, sensing the urgency in her voice.
As I look into her eyes, trying to read her expression, there is only an unreadable mix of emotions swirling within her gaze.
"What is it, Siobhan?"
Siobhan takes a deep breath, her hand tightening around mine. "I did something terrible."
Her voice is barely audible above the hum of the car's engine.
"Something... terrible? What do you mean?" My heart sinks as I brace myself for what she is about to say.
"After Nico died, I was devastated," she says, trembling with emotion. "I got drunk day after day after day. I barely ate, I barely slept."
"I know." A lone tear slides down my face. "I was looking for you at Angels but could never find you. You didn't answer my phone calls. You frigging kept leaving my messages on read."
Ugly red blotches blossom on her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I just... I didn't want to be near anyone. I felt like my life's been shattered into a thousand pieces and that I'd never be whole again."
"I wanted to be there for you, Siobhan. I really did."
"Well I didn't want you around!" She lashes out in an ugly cry. And then she says what I surmised the whole time. "I blamed Liam and you for his death. Had you not organized that stupid warehouse assault... had Liam not been the target... Nico would have still been alive, I thought."
"But the two things were not connected, Si." I bite my lower lip. "I promise you. Liam was always going to be the target. The Albanians didn't know about the warehouse assault."
"I know that now. I also know... that shielding Liam was Nico's choice." Siobhan sniffles. "He saw him as a brother. His own flesh and blood. He would always protect him. It took me a long time to understand it. But oh, Sandra, I made a terrible mistake."
I feel both waves of anger and comprehension wash over me. How could she blame Liam and me for Nico's death? It was my mother, not us, who sent that assassin after Liam. Everything after that was just an unfortunate set of circumstances, happening one after another.
"What mistake?" I hear myself say.
"I went to talk to Kieran that night."
"What... Why? What did you say to him?"
Siobhan looks down at her hands, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "I told him that you... You asked to visit Zerina Martinaj on the same evening she managed to free herself and escape. I told him you are her daughter," she whispers.
I feel my world shatter around me. "You... you went to Kieran, and told him all that on Christmas Eve? After the shootout?"
She nods wordlessly, tears falling on her lap.
"But why, oh why on earth would you do that, Siobhan?"
Siobhan looks up at me, and for a moment I see her the way she was, bound, by my side, in that wretched container where we were both trapped together.
I remember it all, my soothing tone, my reassuring smile telling her to stay calm. That help was on the way. I did everything I could so she would feel better, so that she would not panic, even if I was a total nervous wreck. Even if I thought that we were both going to die.
And this is how she repays me.
Then my vision clears and I finally understand: she is someone else now. It feels like eons have gone by. Traces of smudged up mascara are fleeing down her face. "I was so angry. So desperate and angry," she explains, her voice choked with emotion. "I wanted someone to pay for Nico's death. I wanted to hurt Liam and you so badly. And I thought that the best way to do that was to tell Kieran about... about your secret. That his prisoner was in fact... yer ma."
I feel a surge of anger towards Siobhan. How could she be so cruel? She had revealed my deepest secret to the man who was supposed to be my father, and she had done it out of spite.
Not just any man. Kieran The Knife Murphy was one man no one would want to cross.
And it turns out he knew my secret for weeks. Months, even. But why didn't he say anything to us, on the next day, when he came to offer Liam a job?
Cogs are whirring in my head like mad.
"I'm so sorry, Sandra," Siobhan pleads. "I know I was wrong. I was... I was just so shortsighted. I wanted to get back at you, and I... I didn't think about the consequences."
I pull my hand away from hers, my heart filled with disgust. "You're a monster, Siobhan. A treacherous snake." I spit. "You could have gotten me killed. Gotten us killed. If Kieran has connected Zerina's escape with me, with my visit, he could..."
And then it dawns on me. He must know. He must know everything.
That I am in fact his daughter. That Liam knows. That Liam is in on it all.
It's not a job that he wants Liam to do. It's all a game to him. Kieran sent Liam on a suicide mission.
My father must have figured out Liam's plans.
And now, he wants to get rid of Liam for good.
***
The next part will become free on June 19, 2024, but until then, it can be unlocked for only 5 coins.