The unexpected sight causes me to leap up and scream.
Liam, his tall, broad-shouldered figure hulking atop the bed and holding a cup is startled by my yell.
"Fuck, sweetheart." He catches himself in the nick of time but a few drops of whichever hot liquid is in the cup splashes over its porcelain sides and onto his arm.
"Liam. God." I press a palm over my heaving chest. "You scared me. When did you come up here?"
"I got to your bedroom moments before ye, hoping to find you here," he says. "I brought you some tea."
My attention drifts to the cup in his hands. He looks adorably sleep-deprived with his tousled hair and bags under his eyes. The faintest scent of sea-brine turns the edges of my mind hazy.
"You brought me tea?"
His face softens in a way that worsens the haze. "No. Aye," he says, and I wonder if he's unable to decide whether to admit to checking up on me. "Barry's tea."
An hour ago, he was leading a rescue mission for my mother, and beating the hell out of several six-foot-two criminals. Now, he's incoherent over a cup of tea.
"Nana O'Grady said you appeared distressed over everything that's been going on downstairs. Figured this might help you relax and... get some sleep. A side note: I like mine with raw sugar and a touch of milk."
"Thank you. That's so thoughtful," I say mechanically, his soft expression still doing strange things to my mind.
His fingers brush mine when I take the cup. A tiny current of electricity sizzles over my skin. My body tightens with the effort of containing a physical reaction and I feel a familiar tremor coming on.
No. Oh my God. No. Not again.
With a vice-like grip, I latch my fingers around Liam's forearm as my heart drops to my stomach, an all too familiar fear overpowering my senses, blurring my vision.
"Alexandra." Liam's soft voice fills my ears as I stare into nothingness.
"Alexandra, are you alright?"
"Uh-huh," I murmur between ragged breaths, unable to fill my lungs with enough oxygen.
His warm palm covers my hand, squeezing it gently. "Close your eyes," he whispers. My eyelids flutter shut. "Take a deep breath-"
And I do.
"Good, now hold it in."
After what feels like an eternity, Liam says: "Exhale."
I repeat this process, seemingly for hours until the anxiety is gone.
Until I can move my arms.
Until the haze lifts from my mind and heart.
With his soft, warm hand placed on mine, steadying me every step of the way, Liam whispers into my ear: "Feeling better?"
I pull away and walk over to the nightstand, hugging myself. "Yes." I clear my throat. "Thanks."
Not sure what else to say to him, and finding myself fleeing from his kindness, I start pacing around.
"How about you have some of this amazing, relaxing tea blend?" Liam's smile appears genuine as he leans against the wall in a non-threatening fashion. "I did go through a lot of trouble brewing it, and bringing it upstairs without Kieran noticing me."
"Bringing out the big guns," I tease. "Why, Liam Cavanaugh, are you trying to impress me?"
"Depends." He hands me a cup and watches as I take a small sip of the golden-colored liquid. "Is it working?"
The rich flavors burst onto my tongue, mixed with a fine minerality and complex earthiness, and my taste buds immediately relish in them.
Textural. Potent. Elegant.
No wonder Liam's praising it so much. It was the best cup of tea I've ever tasted.
"Yes," I say, already warm from one sip. "Quite well."
"Then yes, I am." His eyes dance with amusement as I sigh with contentment.
"You're truly enjoying yerself, sweetheart."
I feel my face glow crimson, but the tea is simply too exquisite and I can't contain my reaction and delight.
"It's not my fault," I say, slightly embarrassed. "It's just too good."
"It's adorable." He carefully brushes a thumb over my flushed cheek.
Warmth curls low in my stomach.
Even this grumpy, brooding Liam has found a way to grow on me the past few days. But sweet, playful Liam? Argh. I'm doomed.
"Wow. You were right. This is amazing." I relax, sitting on the bed.
"I'm always right, sweetheart," Liam teases.
I roll my eyes at him, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "Surely not always?"
A deep rumbling chuckle emanates from his throat. "That is the Alexandra I was waiting for to come out. The kitty with claws."
"Thank you," I mutter. "I'm sorry about earlier. The... Shriek. I don't know what happened, I haven't..."
"That's okay. I was the one who startled ye sitting in your bedroom unannounced in the first place." Liam sits next to me, and a pleasant warmth that emanates from his body makes me want to scoot over even closer.
"I think I'm just..." I am unsure whether to tell him all this, but then the avalanche of words and feelings starts and I am powerless to stop it. I need to say it and he is the only one here. The only one who can understand me. "I am just not used to not being in control. Not having this... stability like I do at work. At the hospital, there is a wound, a malady... and there is a way to heal it."
"And here we are in a problem, and you aren't sure how to solve it. Or if we will be able to solve it." He finishes my thought.
"Yes. exactly." I swallow, embarrassment washing over me for having admitted such a silly weakness.
"It's normal to feel that way. It's not yer fault, Alexandra. You are so new to this world. A world ye shouldn't have been dragged into in the first place." Those soft green eyes caress my face. "If anything, it's mine. I should have dug deeper. I should have figured out Kieran had a backup plan. I guess he one-upped me," he growls.
His anger dredges up every emotion and memory from that meeting and pours them into the pit of my stomach.
The shock. The disbelief. The fucking rage at both my father and mother who'd had the nerve to play a pretense role my whole life and lie to me.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
My mother lied to me.
My mother lied to me, and I trusted her my whole life.
Tears crowd my throat, but I force them back even as a crushing sense of loneliness invades me.
In the space of a week, so many things have happened.
I'd lost my late grandmother, but in a way, I'd lost my mother too.
The version of the mother I knew. The only thing I had left was myself.
And for now, that will have to be enough.
But I still want to grant my mother freedom.
No matter what she did, she does not deserve to be locked away like that. Hurt, and blackmailed for information she does not want to give away willingly.
I can't believe the beast of my "father."
No, Kieran "The Knife" Murphy doesn't deserve any mercy from me.
And judging by Liam's fury, he also doesn't deserve any from him. What did Kieran do to him?
I can't help but wonder why all that animosity that Liam has towards my father.
Can't help but hope he will tell me about it one day.
Cold finality settles in my chest as I make my decision.
"I want to help you take him down. I feel like only then, my Mom and I will truly be free."
Liam grinds his teeth. I steal a glance at his taut body, full of tightened restrain, the throbbing veins on his muscular forearms like stripes on a tiger, mesmerizing.
Then I inch backwards as my heart races, before Liam can notice anything. Before my traitorous fingertips reach out to touch them.
"It's dangerous to get you involved in this more than you already are. We have to free her first. But that should not be too hard. We are still at a certain advantage." His assuring whisper sets goosebumps all over my skin.
"How so?" I whisper back.
"Yer ma will be held at the Angels. At our territory. We now know where she is. Kieran still doesn't have a clue who you are. He doesn't suspect me, either. You could let me handle it from here."
"What if I help? What if I go back to Angels one more time?"
"No!"
A storm in his voice takes me aback.
"Ye shouldn't be out there... offering yer body to the customers like a slab of meat. It's not who ye are. It's not yer world, Alexandra. It's mine. And I don't want my world to twist and corrupt ye."
"Not as a performer." I roll my eyes impatiently. "And twisting and corrupting me? I can look after myself, thank you. It would be just dancing, sheesh. But you make a valid point, even dancing would put me in an unwanted spotlight. What about the deal we discussed before – me waiting tables for a little while?"
Liam furrows his brow and I can see he's considering it.
"Just imagine, I could reconnect with Siobhan. We hit it off quite well the last time I was at Angels. She might know where Zerina will be taken. And if so... There may be a way to get Mom out of there. Besides, waitresses are more inconspicuous than Kieran's own men. I think... Liam, I think that's it. We just needed a new plan. I could get closer to her, this way."
"Fine. Yer incorrigible. I will mull over it. Let's not decide on it immediately. Especially because you..." He turns to look at me in earnest. "Listen, Alex. What you need right now is a good night's sleep. I'll leave you some more tea on the nightstand." He pats the bedding and stands up.
I slip under the covers mindlessly, their cool fabric like ice underneath my legs.
He rolls up his shirt sleeve fussing with a teapot, and his left muscular arm reveals a compass tattoo.
"Enjoying the view, Miss Martinaj?" The look on Liam's face when he turns around is that of a cat that got the cream.
"I... I was just wondering about the tattoo," I stutter.
"Ah. The compass. It symbolizes many things in different cultures. Guidance, direction, interconnectedness. A reminder that ye are free to choose the courses of your life as you wish. The interpretations are vast and far-reaching. For me, only one answer comes to mind."
"Which one?"
"That's a story for another time." Liam's lips twitch while he pours the leftover tea for me.
My eyes are drawn to the subtle sound of Liam's movements. I watch him as he stands by the door, his silhouette framed against the soft glow of the hallway light.
His fingers trace the edge of the doorknob, a hesitant gesture that betrays his desire to linger on.
I feel the same pull. The desire to prolong our connection, to savor the closeness we have found.
The thought of lying in that huge bed all night long, tossing and turning, alone with my anxious brain, makes me utter the words I'd never hear come out of my mouth.
"Liam," I begin softly, my voice barely above the whisper. "Can you stay with me? Just for a little while."
With a sigh, he turns his head, his eyes meeting mine. A flicker of surprise crosses his face.
The unspoken words hang between us as I send him a silent plea for acceptance.
"Are you sure?" he asks, his tone laced with concern.
"I am," I reply, hoping my voice sounds as firm and steady as I want it to. "It's just that... I don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now."
Liam studies me for a moment, and then, with a deep breath, he reaches out and takes my hand in his. His touch sends a jolt of electricity through me.
"I will stay with you for as long as you want," Liam whispers. He lays beside me, winds his left arm around my waist and rakes his fingers through the strands of my hair.
I meld into his warm embrace so naturally as if I was born to rest in his arms.
My insides stir from the proximity, from the heat emanating from his body. Liam's increasing heartbeat drums against my back, echoing into my ear, so loud, so deafening, cutting through the grief and doubt that encapsulates me.
His fingertips idly draw circles on my shoulder, his tender yet burning touch sends shivers through my entire body, conjuring need for more of his comfort.
More Liam.
"Better, Alexandra?" he whispers, the smooth velvet caress of his voice reverberating through me like a tsunami. I can feel each letter in every word, every nuance of his tone, as if he were speaking directly to my soul.
"Yes." I let out a shaky breath, my defenses stripped away. I tilt my head to meet his darkened green gaze.
"Good." The word lingers in the air, a tangible entity that dances on my skin.
Liam shifts his position, angling his body towards me even more. The pad of his thumb floats over my parted lips, and then, tucks a loose hair strand behind my ear.
I get lost in his emerald irises, incredibly aware of his fingers gently brushing my earlobe. Then they lower to the soft spot on my neck that provokes goosebumps to race down my spine.
I let out a ragged sigh which in turn makes him moan. "Alexandra. I want to make you feel good. I want... you."
The air between us is thick with tension and we're impossibly close: his heart pounds against mine. My breath catches in my throat as he leans in closer and I part my mouth.
Liam's lips graze mine, soft and gentle, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. My eyes flutter close as I melt into the kiss, allowing him to devour me whole. My entire being is consumed by warmth and passion that radiates from Liam. All that exists is Liam's touch, the heat of his soft skin, the taste of his lips.
When we pull apart, we return to a previous spooning position, our ragged breathing tapering into a comfortable silence.
It's hard to believe Liam and I had been at each other's throats so often for the past week. If I set aside my intense dislike for his smugness, and what he does, being around him is like breathing.
Easy. Effortless.
I close my eyes, listening to Liam's heartbeat. Being so close to someone blurs the lines of our bodies, connecting me to Liam on a profound level.
I push against his strong back. His weight makes me feel centered and safe. His presence radiates such a comforting warmth.
Liam pulls me against his body and drapes the covers over us. "Sleep now. No nightmares. I'm here with you, and I'll keep the darkness away."
I find it so funny that a mere week ago, Liam was a symbol of darkness to me. Now, he is my personal light.
"Liam?"
"Hmm?"
A single syllable from him makes me feel so alive, so deeply rooted to him. It's a feeling both exhilarating and terrifying. A dance on the edge of the precipice. "How did you know what to do? Before? How to calm me down?" I mutter, already halfway to la-la-land.
"When I was little, my..." He catches himself and the silence reigns in the bedroom once more, as impenetrable as his memory. "Never ye mind, sweetheart. Let's just say... That's a story for another time. Close yer eyes and get some rest. Tomorrow marks a new start. A new chance to right this day's wrongs. Tomorrow, the sun rises."
"I do love sunrises," I mutter. I'm slightly disappointed he did not give me a full answer, but fatigue is flowing through my veins and I can't linger on the feeling. "Me too," he whispers. "Now sleep, sweetheart."
For a little while longer I wonder about his childhood. About how he became a broken man with a broken heart.
About me: a lonely girl who doesn't want to be alone.
About the chance encounter that brought us together.
About what the future might hold.
And then I fall asleep in Liam's arms, too exhausted for everything, even bad dreams.