Tara
"Tara!"
"Tara!"
I groaned turning in bed as Dez continued to yell my damn name.
"Tara!"
"What!?" I shout back finally getting sick of hearing him yell.
"Come here I wanna show you something!"
"Really?" I grumble into the pillow.
It probably took my a good five minutes to force myself out of bed, but I eventually did and made it downstairs.
To my surprise Dez was bringing a whole bunch of baby girl things in the house. Even had a pink polka dot Disney car seat.
"Um, what's all this?" I ask picking up a set of pink onesies.
"I brought some things for my daughter."
"Your daughter?" I ask raising my eyebrows.
"Uh, yeah. The baby. same thing." He said brushing it off like it was nothing.
When him saying that is really everything.
"Cool." I said nodding heading back towards the steps to go back upstairs.
"Where you going? You don't wanna see what I bought?" He called after me.
No. "I'm still sleepy Dez."
A tear fell from my eye before drifting back to sleep.
•
"You're dumb as fuck." I hear Shaun say as I make my way downstairs.
I just woke back up not to long ago, I did my morning routine, now I just wanted to bake.
"How the fuck am I dumb for buying shit for my daughter?"
"You don't even know if that baby is yours!" Nya shouts.
"Well what if she does turn out to be mine? I'll already have everything."
"Then what if she turns out not to be yours? You'll be done wasted ya fuckin money and time." Nya says back to him.
"Where's my son?" I ask not about to get in the middle of this shit.
"My mom got all of them." Shaun answers me. "Your mom said she's gonna be taking him for the night tho."
I nod walking past them into the kitchen.
"Tara you're cool with all this shit?" Nya asks.
I just looked at her before continuing my way past them into the kitchen. She should know the answer to that.
"She's quiet and about to go into baking mood that's not good." Shaun said.
"Yall are overreacting." Dez said.
"No you're overreacting." Nya said.
*
"So you'll be able to have her cake down in time for her birthday." The dude asks again.
I was at a coffee shop that lets me sit in and meet with clients every so often. This was my fourth and final one of the day.
"Yeah, no worries." I said.
"Uncle she's pretty, right?" The little girls asks.
"Yeah, she is." He said.
I laughing lightly smiling at the little girl, "You're pretty too mamas. I'm make sure your cake is as pretty as us. That's coo with you?"
"Yes!" She cheered with a big smile.
"You got any kids?" The dude asks me.
"Yeah, a son."
"Still with his dad, huh?"
"Yup."
"Well damn, too bad." He mumbled. "So how do I pay you? Half now?"
"Yeah and the other half when you come to pick the cake up."
"Ard." He said paying me.
"Bye cutie." I said as she stood up waving grabbing her uncles hand as they walked off.
*
"So how'd your interview go?" I ask Dez as he came home entering the room removing his button up shirt.
Dez was doing freelance graphic design for people making quick money here and there, but he actually found a firm he might like working for that he had a interview with today.
He's didn't wanna have to work for anybody else, but he knows and wants to work his way up before he's able to have his own business. Same with me.
"I got it, like you said I would. I think I might like it even more than I thought because I get paid per client and I can work from home majority of the time. Plus I can still do freelance shit." He said laying on the bed next to me.
"That's gonna be dope. I'm proud of you." I said rubbing my hand over his head.
"Thanks babe." He said kissing my cheek then making his way down to my neck, but I pushed him away before he could try to get too ahead of himself.
"Dez. Come on now." I said moving his hands that started to wander.
"Fuck wrong with you?" He snaps.
"I'm not in the fuckin mood." I snap right back.
"Man see this is when this faithful shit gets hard. When I could be out fuckin any other bitch that's willing. I'm sure the preg-" I cut him off with a strong ass slap across his face.
"See that's your fucking problem! You're not getting faithful ass sex from me until you can be a faithful ass nigga to me. Fuck you!" I pushed his chest getting up throwing some clothes on and leaving him there with a now clenched jaw.
*
I left needing to get away from Dez for awhile. I started to take a drive, but then ended up at my mom's house in her bed with her and Zain.
My mom didn't question me, she never does right away. She's just there when I need her until I am ready to open up to her about what's going on.
A part of me is like I'm over it, been over it, and I'm done. While another part is like this is my love and love conquers all.
I already did the trying to force myself to move on thing. Like don't get me wrong, I liked the dude I was with, but it didn't feel genuine knowing my love and my heart is with and always will be with Dez.
Even when he doesn't deserve it.
•
Dez
After realizing what I said to Tara out of sexual frustration I know I deserved that slap, but there was no fuckin way I was letting her go to sleep without me especially not being able to talk shit out.
So I went to her mom's knowing she would be there and sure enough she was.
"She's sleep Dez, but go ahead up." Her mom said.
I feel like Mama Nikki should hate me for all I've put her daughter through, but she doesn't look at me any different. She might get on me about shit here and there, but she lets me and Tara handle our know problems together as a couple.
After trying Tara's old room and seeing she wasn't in there I went into her mom's room seeing her and Dez both laid out sleep.
This brought me back to when Zain was a newborn and Tara use to go to her mom's bed with him because she didn't wanna keep me up all night on school nights, but that didn't help any. So I'd come in her mom's room too and she'd let us take over her bed.
"Leave me alone Dez." Tara said as I climbed into the bed behind her.
"I didn't mean what I said. You know I would never. I just said that without thinking because I was fuckin frustrated."
"See that's ya fuckin problem, you don't think!" She damn near yells.
"Our son is sleeping." I said trying to get her to calm down.
She shot a glare at me then pushed my chest before laying her head back against the pillow.
I wrapped my arm back around her tightly this time so she couldn't push me off.
"I love you." I said kissing on her neck.
"Fuck you." She said back.
"If you actually think I'm okay with all this hurtful as shit. You don't know me at fuckin all." She said moving away from me again.
That got me thinking ...