Seungmin entered his apartment to find Jisung already there, red cheeks and a lazy smile on his face as he lounged on the couch. Seungmin couldn't help but notice the relaxed posture and content expression on Jisung's face, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions churning inside him.
"Hey," Jisung greeted him casually, not bothering to ask about Seungmin's day. Seungmin felt a twinge of resentment at Jisung's nonchalant attitude towards their friendship.
"Hey," Seungmin replied, a forced smile on his face as he took a seat opposite Jisung on the couch. He couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy that had been gnawing at him since he heard about Jisung's date with Minho.
"So, how was your date with Minho?" Seungmin asked, trying to sound casual but unable to hide the hint of bitterness in his tone.
Jisung looked up, a surprised expression flickering across his face at Seungmin's direct question. "Oh, yeah, it was fine. We just hung out, you know," he replied, avoiding Seungmin's gaze, scrolling on his phone.
Seungmin felt a surge of frustration at Jisung's dismissive answer. It seemed like Jisung didn't even care to share the details of his date with his best friend. The resentment bubbled up inside Seungmin, but he couldn't bring himself to voice his true feelings.
"Yeah, that's nice," Seungmin muttered, the words feeling hollow in his mouth. He knew he was being petty, but he couldn't help the wave of jealousy that washed over him at the thought of Jisung spending time with someone else.
As they lapsed into an awkward silence, Seungmin realized that he needed to confront his own feelings of jealousy and insecurity before they drove a wedge between him and Jisung. But for now, he would keep his emotions hidden, buried beneath a facade of forced indifference.
And as they sat in silence, the unspoken resentment hanging heavy in the air, Seungmin knew that their friendship had entered uncharted territory. The question was, would they find a way to navigate through it together, or would their unspoken feelings drive them apart?
Seungmin's words hung heavy in the air, a tense silence settling between them as Jisung tried to process his friend's outburst. Seungmin could feel the frustration and hurt bubbling up inside him, unable to contain his emotions any longer.
"Don't you like, care to share with your best friend, I don't know, maybe, how was your date after all these years of friendship," Seungmin's voice was laced with bitterness as he spoke, the words sharp and accusing. „Or just say 'Hey Seungmin how was your day?'"
Jisung was taken aback by Seungmin's sudden change in demeanor, the hurt clear in his eyes as he struggled to understand the source of his friend's anger. "What's up with you, Seungmin?" he asked, his voice tinged with confusion.
"What's up with me?!" Seungmin's frustration boiled over, his pent-up emotions spilling out in a rush of words. "I've been there for you through everything, and you can't even be bothered to share a simple detail about your date with a person you are a fan of? It's like you don't even care about our friendship anymore."
Jisung's expression softened as he realized the depth of Seungmin's feelings. "Seungmin, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I don't know, I guess I didn't think it was a big deal.. It's not an important thing.."
Seungmin's heart sank at Jisung's dismissive words, the hurt evident in his eyes as he struggled to process his friend's lack of understanding. Jisung's casual attitude towards their friendship cut deep, leaving Seungmin feeling more isolated than ever.
"It's not an important thing...?" Seungmin repeated Jisung's words, his voice barely above a whisper. The realization that Jisung didn't place the same value on their friendship as he did hit him like a ton of bricks.
Jisung noticed the hurt in Seungmin's eyes and immediately regretted his dismissive tone. "Seungmin, that's not what I meant," he backtracked, his voice filled with remorse. "I didn't realize how much this meant to you. I'm sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration."
Seungmin struggled to find the right words to express the mix of emotions swirling inside him. He wanted to believe Jisung's apology, but the wound of neglect ran deep. "I just... I thought our friendship meant more to you, Jisung. I've always been there for you, through thick and thin. I just wish you'd show the same level of care and respect towards me."
Jisung's expression softened, a look of understanding dawning on his face. "Seungmin, I do care about our friendship. I didn't mean to make you feel this way. Please, let's talk about it. I want to make things right between us."
Seungmin's hurt and frustration bubbled up, the sting of Jisung's words lingering in his mind. Despite Jisung's attempts to apologize and reconcile, Seungmin found himself unable to shake off the feeling. With a heavy heart, he stood up abruptly, his voice edged with a newfound resolve.
"You know what.. Forget it, Jisung," Seungmin muttered, his tone strained as he made his way to his room. Without waiting for a response, he shut the door behind him, the sound echoing in the empty hallway.
Jisung stood there, feeling a mix of confusion and guilt wash over him. He knew he had hurt Seungmin somehow and the realization weighed heavily on him. Tentatively, Jisung knocked on Seungmin's door, hoping to talk things out and make amends.
But there was no response from the other side. Seungmin remained silent, the walls of his room enclosing him in a cocoon of solitude and hurt. He didn't want to face Jisung, didn't want to confront the pain of their fractured friendship. Seungmin knew he maybe overreacted, and Jisung knew he probably fucked up.
Hours passed, the silence between them growing thicker with each passing moment. Seungmin stayed holed up in his room, lost in his thoughts and emotions. The weight of his unspoken words lay heavy on his chest, a barrier he couldn't bring himself to break.
Jisung lingered outside Seungmin's door, the knot of tension in his stomach growing tighter with each passing minute. He wanted to reach out to Seungmin, to bridge the gap that had formed between them. But he knew he had to give his friend space, to allow Seungmin the time he needed to process his feelings.
And as the night stretched on, Seungmin remained locked in his room, the distance between him and Jisung a painful reminder of the rift that had grown between them. Both friends were left grappling with the aftermath of their unresolved conflict, wondering if their bond could withstand the silence that now enveloped them.
On the other hand, Seungmin was sitting on his bed, confused by his sudden actions. Indeed he was upset that Jisung didn't even try to talk to him about his date, or basically about anything, but he didn't understand what he just ran to his room and locked himself here.
Last time him and Jisung seriously fought was when they were both fourteen. Seungmin slammed the door exactly like this, but came out right after, apologising.
Seungmin sat on his bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. The weight of his conflict with Jisung still heavy on his chest. He didn't know what to do or who to talk to, feeling lost and out of sorts.
After a few moments, Seungmin picked up his phone and dialed his cousin number. The younger had always been a confidant he could turn to for advice and guidance, and right now, Seungmin needed his help.
He dialled his number on FaceTime, hoping that the person on the other side of the phone will pick up his call. And he did.
"Hey, Jeongin, it's me," Seungmin said when his cousin answered the call. "I don't know what's happening to me, I'm really confused."
Jeongin listened patiently as Seungmin explained the situation with Jisung, his hurt feelings, and the subsequent disconnection between them. Seungmin talked about how much their friendship meant to him and how he felt that Jisung didn't reciprocate that same level of care.
As Seungmin continued to pour his heart out, Jeongin's chuckle filtered through the phone.
"What's so funny, Jeongin?" Seungmin asked, feeling slightly put off by his cousin's reaction.
"I'm sorry, Seungmin, it's just that it's so obvious," Jeongin replied, still laughing a little.
"I think you like Jisung."
Seungmin's mouth dropped open in disbelief, wondering how his cousin could be so sure of something he had barely even considered.
But as Jeongin listed out various moments from their past, the way Seungmin talked about Jisung and how he acted around him, Seungmin began to realize that Jeongin might be onto something.
As their conversation continued, Seungmin felt a sense of understanding and clarity blooming inside him. He didn't know if he was ready to confront Jisung about his feelings, but at least he had an idea of what he was grappling with.
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uh oh!
sat 3rd feb 2024
riri :3