Siya POV:
The month has passed, and today is my wedding. I'm standing in front of the mirror, and many beauticians are helping me get ready, all arranged by my in-laws. Let me tell you, these were the most awful months. My dii and mom beat me daily, and now it has intensified to beating me everywhere, banging my head on the wall, and more. They call me terrible names like slut, whore, and a bad omen. They claim that my dad never loves or cares for me, that my mumma hates me, and that she died because of me. These physical beatings can be treated with medical care, but the mental abuse is the worst-it lingers in the heart, and no matter how much I try to forget, it remains.
My body hurts, and there are marks all over, except on my face which has healed. The visible marks on other parts, noticeable in my bridal outfit, make me apply moisturizer to hide them.
My thoughts came to an end when bhabhi came. "OMG, look at you! You are looking so beautiful. I swear if I were a boy, I would surely marry you," bhabhi maa said, and I smiled. "Thank you so much. I think it's all done," I told the beautician and they left.
Siya's bridal lehenga
"Oh, really? I think you're happy with me" bhai said as he entered the room, and I chuckled. "I am the girl nah, so I am all yours. Don't worry; I am not going anywhere," reassured bhabhi maa. "Yeah, meet me alone, then I'll tell you how not to worry," bhai teased, and bhabhi blushed, making me laugh. "Don't laugh; your time is coming soon," bhabhi said, and I frowned playfully.
"Princess, remember, I am always there for you. If anything happens, you tell me. I am just one call away, okay?" bhai said. "Don't worry, bhai. I will be fine," I reassured.
"Bhabhi maa, but I am really nervous. There are so many people outside, and I will be the center of attention. I don't know how I will handle it," I said.
"Don't worry, we are there for you, and it's normal to be nervous on the wedding day. My mom told me," bhabhi reassured.
"Your momma isn't here, so listen to me. Marriage is a huge responsibility, Siya. It's not just a union of two souls; it's also a bond between two families. His family is now yours. His and his family's problems, achievements-they become yours. It's your responsibility to always unite them. I know it's a huge responsibility, but as women, we have to do it. It's not easy to be a woman. We women need to be strong, and Siya, let me tell you, you are very strong. I know you will be able to handle it. If you handle this family, then you can handle your in-laws too, as they care and love you. It's easier there than here. And the most important thing is, we are always there for you. If any problem arises, don't hesitate to ask me. You are strong, Siya. Nobody can make you forget that," bhabhi maa said, and I hugged her with tears welled up in my eyes.
"Oh, where is my hug?" bhai said, and he hugged me, tears in his eyes. "I am sorry, princess, for not being able to be there for you, not being able to help you. I know my sorry wasn't able to bring those days back, but please forgive me for not being able to become the brother you wanted me to be. I miss you, princess," bhai said, and my tears fell, and we sobbed.
I broke the hug, smacked his head, and started beating on his chest. "Don't you dare to say anything about my bhai. He is the world's best brother. If you say anything against him, then I... I'll complain to mumma and hide your games and files. Yeah, ha, yeah, I'll do it. Tu kabhi nahi sudhregi, waisa ki waisi hi hai( You will never change, just as it is). And don't you dare to touch those things," bhai said.
"You know nah I can do it ," I said and laughed.
"Yeah, I know how much naughty and clumsy you are," he said.
"No, I am not clumsy. See, nah, bhabhi, aapke patidev kya kha raha hai( See, bhabhi, what your husband is saying)?"I said.
"There's no need to bother my sister, and yes, she is not clumsy at all," bhabhi said, and we high-fived.
"Acha bache, ab bhabhi se shikayat karegi aur tum dono milke mera khilaf team banauge. Aa jaane do jiju ko, phir dekhta hoon main tujhe toh(Alright, Now you'll complain to bhabhi, and you both will team up against me. Let Jiju come back; then, let's see what you do to me)." bhai said, and I laughed.
"Aur haan, bhaiya, bhabhi, ek baat aur. Yeh lehenga nah bahut heavy hai. Please don't let me fall and embarrass myself(And yes, bhaiya, bhabhi, one more thing. This lehenga is very heavy. Please don't let me fall and embarrass myself)," I said.
"Aur abhi mujhe koi keh raha tha ki woh clumsy nahi hai(And just now someone was saying that she's not clumsy)," bhai said.
"Mai clumsy nahi hu(I am not clumsy)," I said and started beating him.
"Acha, acha, baba, nahi hai tu clumsy(Alright, alright, fine, you're not clumsy)," bhai said, and music and cracker sounds meant the baraat has arrived.
"Acha, tum yaha bhaitho. Baraat aa gayi. Hum dono niche jaate hain(Okay, you sit here. The baraat has arrived. We both are going downstairs)," bhabhi said, and I nodded.
"Mata Rani, ap please hamesha mera saath rahena. Meri zindagi ka ek naya chapter shuru hone jaa raha hai. Kripaya mere saath rahna, aut har kadam pe meri madad karna, aur meri dono parivaar ko khush aur swasth rakhein(Mother Goddess, please always be with me. A new chapter of my life is about to begin. Please stay with me, help me at every step, and keep both my families happy and healthy), I pray. You can do this, Siya. You are just getting married; everyone does. You are special. I can't believe I am getting married and soon to be Siya Abhiram Singh Rathore. I am getting nervous. Siya, what the hell? You can do this. Just eat the chocolate, dammit. Release some stress," I said to motivate myself.
"I pick Mumma's photo from my drawer. kash aap mera pass hoti, toh aaj meri life aesi nahi hoti. Papa bhi mujhsa pyaar karta aur yha aap yahan hoti toh mujha support aur guidance deti. Mumma aap mujha apne sath kyu nahi lekar gayi? app ko toh pta tha nah mumma yeh duniya kitni buri, aur aap mujha iss duniya mai akela chodh kar chali gyi. Kyun, Mumma kyun? Agar aap yahaan hoti toh humari family bhi happy family hoti nah mumma. Papa bhi mujha naraz nahi hote. Mumma, l love you, Mumma,"I said, and tears fell from my eyes.
(I pick Mumma's photo from my drawer. Mumma, if only you were here with me today, my life wouldn't be like this. Papa would love me, and with you here, you would support and guide me. Mumma, why didn't you take me with you? You knew, Mumma, how cruel this world can be, and you left me alone in this world. Why, Mumma, why? If you were here, our family would be a happy family. Papa wouldn't be angry with me. Mumma, I love you, Mumma," I said, and tears fell from my eyes).
I placed Mumma's photo in the suitcase. I had already packed my suitcase with everything I needed. I packed all my belongings in two suitcases. One suitcase was filled with my clothes, including the engagement lehenga, some clothes gifted by bhai and bhabhi maa, and some I bought myself, as I couldn't wear old clothes to my in-laws. It also contained my college materials. The other suitcase was filled with my mom's things. I also had a carry a laptop bag where I placed my laptop, personal diary, and my drawings.
You might be wondering why I don't have a phone but have a laptop. Let me tell you, I didn't find any need for a phone since I don't have many people to talk to. As for the laptop, it's essential for my work and college, so I bought it and always kept it hidden. If Di or Mom saw it, they would break it.
Let's go, Siya. It's time," bhabhi said, with bhai entering the room. As I entered the mandap, my eyes met Abhiram's, and time seemed to pause. Bhai, standing by my side, exchanged a knowing glance. Abhiram, dressed in traditional attire, looked every bit the regal groom.
How can a man be so incredibly handsome? His features are captivating, from the chiseled jawline that adds a touch of rugged charm to the way his eyes hold a magnetic intensity. The overall composition of his appearance, from his physique to the finer details, creates an allure that is hard to ignore. He is a combination of physical attributes, confidence, and perhaps a dash of mystery that contributes to the undeniable attractiveness, leaving an indelible impression, I thought.
Abhiram's Sherwani
As Abhiram and I stood facing each other in the vibrant mandap, the atmosphere was filled with a blend of joy and excitement. Bhai handed me the garland, adorned with fragrant flowers, and whispered words of encouragement. Bhabhi, with a gentle smile, nodded as if sealing the promise of this moment.
Abhiram, received his garland from a close friend. The exchange of garlands, known as the Jaimala ceremony, symbolized the mutual acceptance of our union. It was a moment of playful camaraderie, filled with laughter and cheers from the gathered loved ones.
Surrounded by the melodies of traditional music and the blessings of those dear to us, Abhiram and I exchanged garlands. The vibrant hues of the flowers mirrored the colorful journey we were embarking upon, weaving the first threads of our shared tapestry.
In the sacred sanctity of the wedding mandap, the Kanyadan ritual unfolded, symbolizing one of the most poignant moments of the ceremony. Siya's father did the kanyadan.
As we stood before the sacred fire in the hallowed mandap, the priest's resonant voice filled the air with ancient mantras, each syllable carrying the weight of tradition and sanctity. The flame flickered, casting a warm glow on Abhiram and me, as the auspicious moment of taking the seven vows, known as the Saptapadi, unfolded.
With each step we took around the sacred fire, the priest guided us through the profound vows that would bind our destinies together. The first step signified a promise to nourish each other physically, mentally, and spiritually. As our feet touched the ground for the second step, we pledged to develop our strength, loyalty, and courage.
The third step, symbolizing the cultivation of wealth and prosperity, invoked a promise to share our responsibilities and resources. With the fourth step, we vowed to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony, nurturing an environment of understanding and compassion.
The fifth step invoked a commitment to raise strong and virtuous children, guiding them with love and wisdom. As we took the sixth step, we promised to cherish moments of joy and sorrow together, sharing our laughter and tears.
With the seventh and final step, our promises reached their culmination. We vowed to be eternal companions, standing by each other through life's myriad journeys. The priest's chants echoed the gravity of these vows, and as we completed the ritual, the fragrance of incense lingered in the air, sealing our commitment in the sanctity of the ceremony.
In the quiet moments that followed, the echoes of those seven vows resonated in my hearts, setting the foundation for a shared journey of love, understanding, and unwavering companionship.
In the sacred moments of our wedding ceremony, Abhiram gently took the vermilion and applied it in the parting of my hair. This act, known as Sindoor, holds profound significance in Hindu weddings. The vibrant red color symbolizes the marital status of a woman, signifying her commitment, love, and devotion to her husband. As Abhiram applied the sindoor, it was a poignant moment, I closed my eyes to feel the moment so that it always remain in my heart.
The Mangalsutra, a sacred necklace, came next. Abhiram delicately placed the intricately designed gold and black-beaded chain around my neck. This symbol of marital commitment holds immense cultural and spiritual importance. The black beads are believed to protect the couple from evil, while the gold symbolizes prosperity and the eternal bond between husband and wife.
"Vivah sampurna hua," declared the priest, signaling the completion of the sacred marriage rituals. With reverence, he turned to us, urging Abhiram and me to seek the blessings of our elders. The air was charged with a sense of fulfillment and anticipation as we approached our families.
Bowing our heads respectfully, we sought the blessings of our parents, receiving their heartfelt wishes for a prosperous and blissful married life. The touch of their hands on our heads felt like a transfer of love, wisdom, and the collective blessings of generations.
The priest's guidance echoed in the background, emphasizing the sacredness of these blessings and the importance of carrying them forward into our new journey. The words spoken by our elders, whispered with love and hope, lingered in the air, becoming the foundation upon which our married life would unfold.
The moment of Vidai, the ceremonial farewell, arrived, casting a bittersweet emotion over the joyous atmosphere.
"Bhaiya, Bhabhi, you are the only ones who have been there for me, loved me, and supported me," I said, tears streaming down my face. As I spoke, Bhaiya and Bhabhi enveloped me in a comforting embrace, their silent reassurance speaking volumes.
"In this house, I only miss you," I continued, the ache in my voice reflecting the depth of my sentiments. The longing for the comforting presence of my brother and sister-in-law made the new surroundings seem unfamiliar and lonely.
Bhaiya and Bhabhi, too, were not untouched by the emotional currents of the moment. With tearful eyes, they hugged me tightly, Amidst our tears, Bhaiya spoke, "I miss you too, princess. I miss the small fights between us, the laughter, and the shared moments that made our bond unique." His words brought a mix of nostalgia and warmth.
With a heavy heart, I mustered the courage to approach my dad, acknowledging the strained relationship that had lingered between us. "Dad, I know you may harbor resentment towards me. Don't worry, I won't come back," I confessed, my voice carrying the weight of acceptance.
"Papa, despite all your cold behavior towards me, I want you to know that I love you," I continued, the words hanging in the air as a testament to the complexity of our relationship. The hope for acceptance and love lingered in my words, even as I prepared myself for the possibility of never truly bridging the emotional gap.
"I hope, Papa, that one day in the future, you can accept me as your daughter and love me," I expressed, a vulnerable plea for reconciliation. The yearning for the warmth that once defined our relationship echoed in my voice.
"Papa, I love you, and despite everything, I hold on to the hope that one day you'll play with me like you did before Mumma's death and one day my super hero papa is back who protect and love her gudiya," I shared, my heart laid bare with the desire for a restored connection, a return to the days when he was my superhero.
With tears in my eyes, I hugged him tightly, seeking solace in the embrace. In that moment, the glimpse of sadness in his eyes revealed the complexity of his emotions, yet he remained silent. The absence of a response, the lack of reciprocation in the embrace, spoke volumes about the deep-seated wounds that time had yet to heal.
As I withdrew from the hug, the unspoken pain lingered in the air. The journey towards healing and rebuilding our relationship remained uncertain, but in that vulnerable exchange, a glimmer of hope for a brighter future flickered, however faintly.
The heaviness of the strained relationships lingered as I chose not to hug Mom and Di, knowing that their treatment had been far from loving. The pain of being treated like a slave and enduring physical abuse was a silent burden I carried. With a heavy heart, I made my way to the car, leaving behind an atmosphere fraught with tension.
As we embarked on the journey to Abhiram's home, the car became a cocoon of awkward silence. Neither of us dared to break the uneasy quiet that hung in the air like a thick fog and I stared out of the window, watching the passing scenery.