"What happened?"
"Cara?"
"Are you okay?"
"Talk to me, Cara!"
"Cara!"
I can hear Claire's voice like it was fading away in the background.
I suddenly feel numb.
I have no idea how much time has passed since I hung up the phone.
My vision is blurry, probably with the tears flowing non-stop. I could feel Claire shaking me on my shoulders, squeezing my hand, tapping my cheek but I couldn't seem to move.
I was like paralyzed and the only thing working In my system was my brain.
I wanted to talk but it was like my words were choking me and nothing was coming out.
My hand let go of the phone and I knew it fell on my bed.
Why can't I Move?
Why can't I talk?
I know I'm still crying, I'm feeling the pain but why can't I move even just a finger?
"Cara!"
"Please say something!"
I heard Claire calling my name again, begging me to talk and move.
She must be worried about me. She even sounded like she was crying too, but I couldn't see her.
Everything is blurry.
Her voice is still fading away and the voice of Alex's Mom echoing in my brain.
I felt like I was being pulled away like there was a black hole ready to swallow me anytime.
Then an image showed.
Alex!
She was smiling at me, calling my name. She held out her hand telling me to go with her. She's so pretty with that big smile of her.
I held out my hand trying to reach for hers but she seemed like she was being pulled away by that dark hole.
Alex!
I called out her name. I could hear her yelling out my name too, she was scared, she sounded so scared.
Alex!
Everything became dark, the dark hole finally swallowed me.
______________________________________
When I opened my eyes, everything was white, it was blurry, or is it cloudy, I couldn't really tell.
There was this weird hissing sound that goes in every beep.
Where am I?
"Oh, thank go you're awake."
I know that voice.
I looked on my side and there was Claire, looking so worried.
"Claire?"
"Oh, babe, Yes, it's me. How are you feeling?" She helped me sit up and handed me a plastic cup with a straw and gestured for me to drink. I obliged as my throat was so dry.
"What happened, Claire? Where am I?" I asked her handing her back the plastic cup.
"Tell me you're feeling fine, Cara. You got me so worried!"
Claire looked like she did not stop crying, her voice was full of worries and her eyes were so sad.
"I'm- I'm fine, I think." I managed to say.
Claire sighed deeply. Like a thorn was removed from her throat.
"We're in the hospital. I had no choice but to bring you here. You passed out, Cara. After you received a call from Alex, you were..."
By the mention of Alex's name, I suddenly can't hear Claire.
Everything flashes back.
The call.
Alex's mom answered it. Telling me what had happened to Alex.
I was about to speak when the door suddenly opened.
"Oh, thank god, you're awake!"
"Dad?"
My Dad ran toward me and hugged me, tight. Like he did not see me for a year or so.
"Claire called me when she was bringing you here and I came as fast as I could." My Dad let me go and sat in my bed.
"What happened honey? How do you feel? Are you feeling okay now? Tell me."
Looking at my Dad now, I feel like he aged so much because of the worries written across his face. His wrinkles suddenly became prominent, his eyes were sad like Claire's.
"How... How long was I out?" I asked them both.
"Hours, I think five hours, more or less." It was Claire.
"I didn't know what to do, Cara, so I called your Dad and had him meet me here. The Doctor said everything was fine and you're probably just tired and a bit dehydrated so we just let you sleep and rest."
My Dad took my hand with him and squeezed it.
"I'm fine, Dad." My voice cracked seeing his teary eyes.
"Are you not eating well? Were you too busy at work? I was so worried about you, honey."
"I know, Dad. I'm sorry..."
"Shhhhh... Important is you're fine now."
He pulled me in for another hug.
My eyes darted at Claire and mouthed 'thank you'. She gave me a small smile but the worries were still written on her face.
I know she has questions but couldn't ask because of my Dad.
With the time we spent here in the hospital, I was stopping myself from crying. I'm not ready to tell my Dad yet but a plan was building in my head. I am also thankful that Claire stayed.
"I- I want to tell you something, Dad." I said after a while.
Both he and Claire looked at me.
"I... I need to go to London."
"London?" My Dad exclaimed. "Why? What are you gonna do there?"
I looked at Claire's worried face and then to my Dad's puzzled one.
"There is someone there that I need to go to, Dad, and it's very important."
Am I coming out to him now?
Is it fair to him to do this now? Considering that he's not over the fact that I was hospitalized and had him worried for hours?
I mean, how would I know if he would accept me truly and not just feel obligated to because I was not well and literally still in the hospital?
"What is it, honey?" He caressed my back. And as soon as I felt his touch, the sob I had been trying to control for a while now burst.
I can't anymore, it has to come out.
"Shhhhhh..." My Dad trying to console me. Claire held my hand and squeezed it, letting me know that she was here no matter what.
"Whatever it is, honey, I'm listening." His soft voice soothes my soul. I could feel his love for me, his understanding even if he didn't know yet what I was about to tell him.
The respect I have for this man will never be priced.
We stayed like that for a while till I managed to have the courage to speak.
I pushed his body a bit away from me to see his face.
"I'm... I'm in love with a woman, Dad, she's in London and I need to see her."
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