The rope bites the skin around my wrists as I pull on it, but nothing happens.
I loosen my grip and breath out in frustration. I mean to check the state of my burning hands, but their freshly healed skin instantly takes my thoughts back to that night. To those warm palms and long fingers. To their softest caress. I mimic their path, the tingling still strongly present, just like the memory.
Unwanted memory.
I grit my teeth and for about the hundredth time, I pull hard on the rope, determined to achieve its freedom. With no such luck. Annoyed, I groan and let go of that cursed thing. All my battles seem doomed to be lost lately.
"Hey, let me." Hanni nudges my hip to make me move and releases my hands from the rope. She wraps it around her elbows and pulls it taut, carefully testing it.
I don't argue. I let her take my place and lean my back against the nearest tree, silently watching everything that's going on around. The forest is far from calm or empty today, it's buzzing with people all over the place. Everyone is trying to lend a hand and help secure the entire territory before the severe storm hits tonight, Silver Meadows' or Pine Valleys'.
Well, there may be one more reason behind their sudden cooperation...
"So, to sum it up," Hanni starts, studying that linen piece of snake refusing to move. "Your dad catches you on your way from the Packhouse in a total breakdown. Just after you snuck out to hang out with us. Alone. In the night. So basically after violating the most important of your stupid rules." She pauses to give the rope a hard pull, testing its strength. "And he decides that the best way to punish you is to give you some pack chores? Which you're supposed to do with us?"
I consider her words. "Pretty much."
Adjusting her grasp on the rope, she looks at me with a puzzled frown. "Sorry, where exactly is the punishment in that?"
Right after her question, she sways on her knees and yanks for the rope, putting all the weight of her body in it. The frayed end flies effortlessly through the tight metal eye of the wooden case hiding a tin water tank – something I've been trying to achieve for the last twenty minutes – and the treacherous thing lands at my feet.
I blink. "That I have to do them with you?"
She grins and gives a shrug. "It was just a little rusted."
Yeah. A little.
She's got a point, though. Ever since my dad stopped me in front of the Packhouse just as he was heading to take my place inside, he's been looking at me... differently. As if he expects me to go into another nervous meltdown at any moment. Not the finest feeling, having your parent looking at you like that, but I can't say it would make it onto the list of what bothers me most right now.
What has made its way up the ranking is what happened when my dad returned from his meeting with Tarquin that night, far from initiated by the poor man. I expected him to tie me down in our cabin and never let me see the moonlight ever again. Instead, he informed me that the Alpha and he had agreed to loosen the rules of our stay here.
The ground wasn't far enough for my jaw to fully drop.
"Well, then it worked out just fine, I guess. Your dad must be one hell of a badass wolf." Hanni flashes a cunning grin over her shoulder, knowing well that my dad is carefully watching us from afar. He sends her a sober look, but I can see his eyes glistening with humor. Then his gaze focuses on me and that guarded exploratory look is back.
I sigh and reach down for the rope. "So tie the lid and then to the tree?" I ask and pat the rough tree trunk by the tank.
"Yep." Hanni bobs her head and picks up both ends of the rope. When she smooths them out, we attach the lid so that the approaching storm doesn't tear it off. Then we fasten the entire water tank to the tree.
When we're done, Hanni dusts off her hands and starts checking that the rope is well secured, and I take the moment to take a quick drink from my water bottle. As I bring it to my lips, someone bumps into me from behind, making me spill it all over my face and sweater.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there." I hear the overly sweet voice behind me and somehow, I know who is there even before I turn to her. Kaila smirks mockingly and shrugs one of her bony shoulders peeking from under the waterfall of her long dark hair. "Maybe a little shower will do you good."
"Kaila!" Hanni shouts after the girl with a strong accusation. I only manage to stare with my mouth open while she continues in her way with a carefree chuckle. What are we, for Moon's sake, twelve?
"Wow. What's her problem?"
Startled, I fly around, but it's just Quinn.
When Hanni faces the girl from my pack, she instantly lights up that megawatt smile of hers, shining in contrast with her raven eyes and hair, and outstretches her hand. "Hey, we haven't talked yet. I'm Hanni."
Quinn stares at the offered hand, keeping both of her owns deep in the pockets of her jacket. She doesn't proceed with the gesture, only glances up to Hanni's black orbs with a visible awkwardness. She replies with an uncomfortable, "Hi," and turns to me. "Um, Vaden said you had his knife?"
I frown at her weird behavior. "Yeah, sure." I reach in the back pocket of my jeans and hand her the small folding knife. "Here."
"Thanks," she beeps quietly and instantly hurries away to her group.
I stare after her in confusion. It ruins her attempt at stealing inconspicuous looks our way – which only deepens my frown. "That was weird," I say.
"It's alright."
The tone of Hanni's voice makes me shift my attention to her. And my heart sinks at the sight. "Hanni-"
"Really, don't worry about it." She gives me a small reassuring smile that doesn't reach her black eyes, at all. "It takes a while to get used to us."
To realize that we're not the beast from the rumors going around, she means. I don't comment on it, only look humbly to the ground. After that night with Tarquin, I'm probably the last person to lecture anyone about how to behave.
Tarquin's expression when he assumed I was thinking that he'd performed some unearthly punishment on Ansel instantly flashes before my eyes and sends a stabbing pain straight to my heart. The work of the invisible dagger is then completed by his last words.
Unlike you, I'm responsible for the whole pack. You're just supposed to take care of yourself, and you're not even capable of doing that. Or am I wrong?
The worst part is that he wasn't wrong. I am a Pine Valley wolf, we aren't trained from a young age to become skillful fighters. Our she-wolves are barely trained at all. His silent agreement that I am not good enough for his pack will forever remain my loudest memory.
"So another water tank," Hanni suddenly announces, and I wonder if it's the shadow on my face that's behind that slightly raised level of her voice. "It's close from here, but the road is covered with nettles, so better be careful."
I eye her like she normally does me. "Not a fan of nettles?"
The scoff she gives is my answer.
I wait for her to elaborate, and she does. "My stupid friends once thought it would be super funny to throw me into a field of nettles by the lake. In a summer dress. Barefoot." She gives me a meaningful look.
I hiss at the thought.
"That's not the bad part." She stops me with a raised finger.
"Oh no, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"Oh, Moon," I laugh but let her see my sympathy.
"I was a little kid! Nobody told me I shouldn't shift when stung by nettles." She shakes her head at the undoubtedly painful memory. "The feeling was so bad, I whined like a dying puppy."
"I can imagine. I hope you got your payback after that."
"Oh, you have no id– ouch!" she squeaks and her hand shoots to the back of her head. I jump in my steps but then see the cone that hit her head rolling to me, stopping at my shoes.
She finds the culprit of the act in a second. "You moron wolf! That hurt!" she yells at Jaret who's laughing amusedly with two other guys. She picks up the cone and throws it back at the group, striding to them with a temper. I laugh at the sight of the three men – wolves – running like scaredy-cats, chased by such a petite creature like Hanni.
As I follow them with my gaze, I stumble over a familiar voice nearby. When I try to find the face that belongs to the voice, I have to lift my eyes a fair way up.
Rehan is sitting astride high on a branch, balancing there like a bird on a perch smeared with slippery lard. He quickly resigns on finding more balance and claps his hands determinedly at the teenage girl under the tree. "All right, Tens. Go ahead!"
Tens is too absorbed by watching a boy her age nearby, though.
Rehan's hands fall back into his lap, a look of disbelief on his face. "Tensy?"
Nothing.
"Hey! Moon to Tensy!"
The girl finally looks up. "What?"
He throws his hands up in the air. "It's okay. I can wait up here in the tree. It's just a big storm coming."
Tensy rolls her eyes in undisguised annoyance at his sarcasm and pulls on a cord twisted from blue and green strands of narrow ropes with a rock at the end. When she's sure that the rock is well tied, she looks up. "You ready?"
"As ready as I've ever been."
She takes a deep breath, shifts her weight to her back foot and raises her hand with the rock. Then she stops and straightens up again. "It's really too high, Rehan. You should've just returned for it when it fell."
Rehan's disbelief is back at his face. "Are you kidding me? I was almost all the way up here! It may come as a surprise, but it's not exactly easy to climb so high up a tree, Tensy. I'm a wolf, not a squirrel, if you haven't noticed."
"I did notice. It took you ages to get there," Tensy mumbles to herself as she prepares for the throw.
Rehan gives her a pointed look. He heard that.
I can tell the girl is giving everything she's got in her to throw the rock all the way up. And still, it only flies halfway to Rehan's branch when it gracefully changes its course back down towards the ground, the tail of a cord following behind.
"Never mind, Tensy!" Rehan shouts down at the girl. "Try again! You've got it!"
Sighing, Tensy comes to pick up the stone and looks up, measuring the distance with her eyes. "Is there some punishment for hitting my Beta with a rock and knocking him down a tree?"
Rehan laughs with a heartfelt amusement. "Only points, Tensy. Come on!"
She gives it another try, with about as much luck as I had with freeing the rope from the rusted metal eye on the water tank. She quickly runs out of patience. "You're just too high, Rehan!"
As they start with their dance of taunting again, I can no longer contain my amusement. I slowly approach them and take my place next to the barely fifteen-year-old girl who freezes the moment she notices me. I give her a smile and look up to the occupied branch. "It's really high, Rehan," I call after him.
Tensy points to me and gives me a dramatic look of appreciation. "Thank you!" She turns her head up to her Beta. "See, I told you! Find someone else who's gonna have to explain to Tarquin why his Beta got hit by a rock on a tree."
My heart skips a beat at the mention of his name.
I watch the girl trotting away, right to the boy she's been ogling. No wonder that her previous annoyance is now nothing but a sweet smile.
I look at Rehan apologetically. "She's got a temper."
He lets his head fall back on the tree trunk. "If there's anything worse than a teenage girl, it's a teenage she-wolf."
I chuckle. What a true.
He looks back down again and despite the thick forest of tree needles between us, I see him cock an eyebrow. "Feel like trying it?"
Before I can respond with a strong no, a chuckle behind me successfully answersfor me. When I see the intruder, I stab him with my eyes. Vaden tries to suppress his amusement - unsuccessfully, needless to say - and raises his hands in innocence.
Rehan's quickly on to the joke. "I take that as no if my life is dear to me."
If anything, Vaden's laugh seals it.
"Hilarious, gentlemen," I say, sardonic. "You know what, I have a splendid idea. Why don't you two give it a shot?"
Vaden doesn't hesitate for a second. "Sure." He hands me back his knife and picks up the stone with the cord wrapped around it. He tightens it and then looks up at Rehan. "Are you ready?"
"Like a wolf on a full moon, pal," Rehan confirms, and I scoff. Just a moment later, they are working together, coordinated as if they've done this a hundred times before. A small firework of happiness bursts in my heart at the sight.
"Ah, sorry," Hanni soon breaths out beside me, a little flushed from her chase. When her gaze lands on Rehan and Vaden shaking hands and slapping each other appreciatively on the shoulder as they laugh in their conversation, she frowns. "What's going on here?"
I smile for myself. "Something worth seeing."
Vaden returns to his group and Rehan joins us, a warm look of gratitude on his face. "Thanks," he sends my way, and I except it with a smile. Then his smile turns foxy. "So... not a pitcher, huh?"
"What?" Hanni looks confusedly between us.
"She chickened out of throwing me the rock," Rehan explains with a jerk of his chin towards me.
I shake my head at him. "You don't want me to throw anything, okay? Especially not a rock and at someone."
"Why not?" Hanni asks. "I would throw a rock at him from time to time, if I could."
"Good to know," Rehan says incredulously, and Hanni repays with a guilt-free grin.
A strong gust of wind suddenly sweeps through the forest, making the green leaves of bushes, trees and ferns dance to the rhythm of its chilly melody.
"Alright, time to move," Hanni states, picking up the cords coiled on the ground.
Rehan inspects the greying sky and the frown that forms on his face is one of worry. "You're tying the water tanks?"
While Hanni answers him and tells him how many water tanks we've got to finish, I narrow my eyes at him. "That must take some good memory," I tell him with a level of suspicion. "Remembering what everyone is assigned to do right now. In or out of your pack."
His grey eyes match the narrow state of my owns. "Part of being a Beta, I guess."
"Uh-hm." Sure. I'm quite positive it's my assignments he's keeping tabs on, and not by his own choice.
My probing is cut short when he reaches for the bundle of cords strung on Hanni's arm. "I'll take care of the rest of the water tanks. I'm done here anyway. You two should head for the camp."
I press my lips in a thin line. I'd argue with him but as he said – he is a Beta. "You're gonna need some help if you want to finish before the storm hits," I at least warn him. "There's still five water tanks left."
The Beta frowns at the grey sky above us, coming to the same conclusion. That's why he looks around and calls out the only name other than his Alpha's that I didn't want to hear today. "Kaila!"
The black-haired beauty who was just passing us stops in her tracks. She doesn't ask what he wants, just instantly looks at him like he's gone crazy. "I'm supposed to bring the firewood to the Packhouse," she announces uncompromisingly.
"Carys and Hanni can take it there. They're going back to the den."
Her eyes slide to me and the contempt in them multiplies exponentially. She takes a few more steps towards me and releases her armful of logs which fall right to my feet, making me jump in surprise. Leaving me gaping after her, she heads to the west.
"That was not necessary, Kaila," Rehan rebukes her loud and sharp before he turns to me contritely. "I'm sorry."
I force a tight smile and kneel down to pick up Kaila's mess. What in the Moon's name is her problem?
When Rehan wants to give me a helping hand, Hanni stops him with her hand on his shoulder. "You should hurry up."
It takes a moment before I hear his retrieving steps and Hanni joins me on the ground. She starts filling her arms with logs with me, a long sigh on her lips. "She's not usually like this. I know it might be hard to believe, but she's actually a kind person. I think that under different circumstances, you'd probably like her."
"You mean under circumstances where she's not throwing firewood at my feet?"
Hanni laughs, though it sounds a little nervous. She thinks hard about her next words. "She has this strong compass for what she thinks is right, just like you. She just uses different ways of showing it."
Her statement takes me by surprise. Is this how she perceives me? Because – "I'm pretty sure my recent decisions were made in spite of my knowing they're wrong," I mumble with my gaze lowered to the ground.
Hanni tilts her head to the side and looks at me tenderly. "Do you think you should keep your distance from us?"
I frown. "No."
"Do you think it's a mistake to be friendly with us?"
"Of course not."
Before the last question, she gently presses her lips together. "Do you think we present any danger to you?"
"What- no, I've never thought such thing."
Hanni smiles at me in delight. "Then you did all that because you knew exactly what was right."
While her words fill my head with something to think about, they also flood me with warmness that spreads through my whole body. That's also why I shiver so much when another gust of wind sweeps around, cold and threatening, as an ominous harbinger of the night ahead of us.
Leaning my elbows on the railing lining the small terrace of our cabin, I watch the heavy rain pouring down from the sky into the pitch-black night. The sound of the massive drops is often drowned out by a deafening thunder before the sky lights up into dark ocean blue hues, giving a brief glimpse of the havoc down on the earth.
While I usually enjoy the sound of thunderstorm, there is something unsettling about this one. It's wild and fierce, easily the most dangerous creature in the woods tonight.
The door to the cabin creaks open behind me, the sound of it almost masked by another thunder, and Quinn appears beside me. Her hands grip the railing, and she takes in the view. "The rain's getting heavier," she observes with worry.
"It is," I agree, and my stomach turns upside down. Wild and fierce.
A silence falls between us, the only one far and wide. Quinn turns away from the scary picture that's being painted right in front of our eyes and leans her lower back against the railing. "That girl today..."
I look up to her. Her gaze is lowered to her fingers playing awkwardly with the long sleeves of her jacket, her head somewhere on its way to what's on her heart.
"Hanni?" I ask, trying to help.
She hums in confirmation. Then she's silent again. Until she asks, "Was she very mad at me?"
I search her face, finding only a genuine concern. "No," I tell her gently. "She wasn't mad. Maybe a little sad, if anything."
Quinn tilts her head back in a pained groan. "That's even worse!"
I narrow my eyes at her as the realization creeps in. "You... like her?"
She opens her mouth to say something but then exhales and closes it again. She shakes her head. "It's stupid, I know. I don't even know her that well. I practically don't know her at all. It's just..." She lets out a sigh and slumps her shoulders. "Never mind."
I nod and look back to the yet again brightened sky. I'm quiet for a moment.
"It wasn't a coincidence that I chose her table that day," I say with my eyes on the black clouds. "She didn't watch me vigilantly like everyone else. She just... smiled."
I think back to the day I saw Hanni in the dining room. She was willing to offer me her friendship and, unbeknownst to her, gave me what I needed most at that moment. I still miss talking to Idony, but I don't feel so lonely anymore.
I turn to Quinn and softly smile at her. "She seemed like someone worth getting to know. I don't think it's stupid at all."
Quinn meets my eyes, and I'm happy when a bashful smile of gratitude touches her lips.
The truth is that the extent of my understanding goes much deeper. It's hard to explain how you can have feelings for someone you don't even truly know. Especially when every word falling from their mouth cuts you deep like a sharpened blade of a knife.
My thoughts get lost in the memory of that night, in the sensation of Tarquin's skin against mine. Until it all fades away as something in the black night catches my attention.
I frown into the darkness. It could've been just one of the local wolves, but there's an unsettling feeling tickling the pit of my stomach. Something doesn't feel right.
Quinn notices my uneasiness and pushes off the railing. "What's wrong?" she asks, looking around in worry.
When there's another flicker of movement among the trees in the distance, I rise from my elbows and squint hard into the night. "I think I saw-"
Another wild lightning lights up the sky in sapphire colors, and in that brief moment, we see it. A male figure stumbling towards us, his arm wrapped around his body bent in pain. He's barely standing on his feet.
"Go for help," I whisper. When Quinn doesn't move, I quickly snap her a look. "Go for help, Quinn!"
I ran out into the night as fast as I can. The heavy rain instantly drenches me like a bucket of cold water that knows no bottom. I know the sky above my head is ringing with a deafening song of thunders, but all I can hear is my heart.
As another bolt of lightning splits the sky, I see the man fall to the ground.
"Help!" I shout over my shoulder, not slowing my pace. While my panic, that is rising with the strength of the merciless rain.
I barely stop in my run when I fall to my knees right next to the man. His naked body is covered with so many wounds that for a moment, I'm not sure where to put my hands first. "Dear Moon," I breath out barely above a whisper.
I take his face in my hands and put his long blond hair out of his eyes. "Hey? Can you hear me?"
His eyelids twitch, opening ever so slightly for the briefest of moments, and close again.
Not good.
I bent over his body and with my hands trembling like crazy, I try to gauge the extent of his injuries. The cold water flowing in rivulets from my hair is mixing with warm blood which is leaving the body from countless of stab wounds. Stab wounds. My breath hitches in my throat at the thought.
I look up into the dark night drowning in rain. "Help!"
An unintelligible hoarseness on the man's lips shifts my attention back towards him. "Ppp... Pp-pain," the man rasps faintly, hardly audible through the rain. He's trying to fight the weight on his eyelids and look at me, but that battle seems to be lost. He only manages to rasp again. "P-pain."
"I know," I tell him quietly, hating that my voice must be shaking so much. "You need to hold on. Help's on the way."
I run my eyes over his body again and find the source of the worst of his bleedings. I quickly pull my sweater over my head and use all my strength to press the soaked piece of clothing against the open wound on the side of his chest. His whole body jerks in agony that sends tears to my eyes.
"I'm sorry," I cry out, my vision no more blurred only by the drops of water caught on my eyelashes. I raise my head from the bleeding man. "Someone HELP!!"
But the storm leaves no room for any other sound than its own symphony.
As if the man realizes the same, his body relaxes in surrender. He doesn't try to open his eyes or turn his head anymore. Only his fingers grope blindly and weakly through the wet air.
The cry I swallow feels like a razor in my throat. I let go of his wound and take his hand in mine. I bring it to my chest and lean forward, holding it tight. "Shhh," I whisper, stroking his hair. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'm here. I'm here."
The light squeeze he gives to my hand shatters me. I have to shut my eyes and lips to keep my sob in. I don't want my despair to be the last thing this man hears.
I was wrong. The storm is wild and fierce, but it was not the most dangerous creature in the woods tonight.
The fragile life in front of me is fading away, and I know there's one more thing to do before it happens. And I already don't like it.
I lean closer to his ear. "Who did this?" I ask on a whisper. "Who did this to you?"
His body shudders in his attempt to form a sound. "W-" he starts but gets taken away by a cough that leaves a stream of blood on his pale cheek.
"CARYS!"
My name comes from somewhere in the distance, but it's too late. They are too late.
I squeeze his hand tighter. "Who?"
He coughs again, his breathing as shallow as the puddles next to the lake. Before his chest suddenly stops moving completely, he manages to let out one last hushed word.
"W-wolves."
Then the smell of death permeates the air, fresh and harsh, that even rain cannot wash it away.
"Carys!"
I freeze, staring into the face of the light-haired man laid to eternal sleep, still holding his hand in mine. And then I'm not. The rainy scene is suddenly filled with people, and I am torn away from the dead body. That's the most I can pick up from what's going on.
"Carys?" That divine voice wraps me in a cocoon of safety, though its tone is laced with dread. Tarquin kneels in front of me at lightning speed and takes my face in his palm, the other firmly on my arm. He sounds out of breath. "Carys? Can you hear me? Are you hurt?"
He curses when I stay silent, and his hands frantically search and feel my entire body. The relief in his exhalation that comes soon after is audible even over the rumbling thunder.
"She's unharmed. Just in shock." He runs a hand through his hair and over his face as he looks at me, his eyes weary. "You've got something?" he calls over his shoulder into the rain that's just got heavier than before. The sky is really pouring its heart out now.
"Granite Creek." Rehan's voice.
"I'll take care of her." And Hanni.
Tarquin looks at me, troubled, but jerks his head in a nod. "Okay. Let's go."
Panic hits me like a hammer. I find my voice very swiftly. "Where are they going?"
"Granite Creek territory," Hanni rumbles through the rain. "Come on, Carys. Get up. You're soaked to the bone."
I'm not sure how I get back on my feet. I'm not even sure how I get to the Packhouse. I get dry clothes. Warm water. A place by the fireplace. A thick blanket. And the scare of my life when the group comes back late at night with their bodies completely covered in blood and paled expressions that will forever stay seared into my eyes.
And Tarquin nowhere to be found.