Ship/duo/trio: snf
Genre: ANGST and then some hurt-comfort
Plot: Sapnap proposes to George, but gets a very unexpected response. Weeks later, George comes home with Dream in a very... vulnerable state and Sapnap has to take care of him. He finds some things out while he's at it.
Trigger warnings: intoxication, mentions of toxic relationships, talk about taking advantage of someone during a vulnerable moment, vomit.
AUs: none
FULL credits go to charliechild100 for this one. Gave me the idea and I just HAD to write it (with permission of course). The other stuff is my payback for them leaving me with such a bad ending >:(
Written for mon beasties charliechild100 and Spac3_l0ver
ALSO PULL UP LetUsForget
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He was scared. No. Petrified. There in front of him, was his boyfriend on one knee with a ring in his hand, spewing his heart out. So why would he be scared? He should be happy! But he can't. Not when he knows the man in front of him is just pulling shit out of his ass in a desperate attempt to take ownership of him. He's been down this road before.
He's been proposed to before. He's had someone promise they loved him more than anything. But the moment they got home, it was the same degrading words he got every day.
"You're lucky someone like me would even consider proposing to you. I'm wasting my own time trying to fix you. This is a privilege I have given you, don't ruin it!"
He can't do it. He just can't. These past few years with him have been perfect, he can't bare to hear those words from him. He just can't.
"No-" George swallowed back the lump in his throat. "You don't..." He muttered.
Sapnap's heart shattered. He couldn't hear the last part. All he heard was "no". Did he not want this? Did he not want a relationship?
"W-what?" Sapnap meekly asked.
"You don't love me- you don't- you've gotta do this with someone else. You've gotta marry someone you love. Not someone you want to- to own," George could barely get through the sentence, tears trying to force their way down his cheeks.
"Want to own?- George wha-"
"I can't do this, Nick. I'm so sorry. But I can't force you to be with someone who's just going to inconvenience you. I can't make you marry someone who's just gonna hold you back and be a burden," George cried.
"George wai-" George began to walk away, wiping his tears and grabbing his phone from his pocket and asking Dream to pick him up.
Sapnap was left confused. He thought George would be ready for this next step. He thought goerge would be happy, but instead, he was tearing up as he spoke about how he didn't even love him. He had to fight back his own tears as he put the beautiful ring back in his pocket. He sat there for a few moments and thought about everything that just happened. How was he meant to live in the same house as his ex who broke up with him the same day he proposed? He didn't want to spiral right now. He felt his phone vibrate, and when he looked at it, he saw a text from Dream.
"Hey George told me to come pick him up. I'm going to, but I'm worried. Did it not work out?"
Sapnap sighed and opened the text.
_____________________________________________
Hey George told me to come pick him up. I'm going to, but I'm worried. Did it not work out?
No
Fuck dude. What happened?
Idk
I got down on my knee and did all the sappy ily shit and he just said "no you don't" and looked like he wanted to cry
Idk what I did
I'm sure you didn't do anything
Maybe he's just not ready?
Clay he fucking broke up with me
Sry
That came off way more aggressive than it needed to be
What?!
It's ok but WHAT?!
just like that?
Just like that
Idk what I did
It seemed like he was hurt but idk
Clay I love him
I'm scared
Reasonably so
God Nick I'm so sorry
It's not your fault
Ik
I wish I were there with u
So he srsly just said no and broke up with you without ANY warning?
Basically yeah
Said I didn't love him as well
Which is so not true
Did I do something to make him think I don't love him?
No Nick
Don't blame yourself
We don't know what he was thinking
Maybe something happened in the past or some fucked up shit and he just didn't know how to react idk
Sometimes I hate how wise you are
You love it in the end
Yeah
George seems stressed the fuck out
I'm gonna come get him, but I'm always willing to talk more whenever you need
Thanks
Also pls take care of him
He didn't seem ok
I will
Take care of yourself ok?
There's no way in hell you're ok rn
I'll be fine
Nick.
I'll be somewhat stable enough to get myself home in one piece
Oh that's not
Thx for the honesty?
Anytime
Okay, im coming to get him. Hang in there, ok? We can talk more when you get home
Okay
Thx
Of course Nick
Ttyl :)
Ttyl
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As he was making his way back to their car, he saw Dream's car driving away. It was probably for the best that George get some time without him. The drive home was... difficult. Let's just say he had to pull over a few times just to cry. When he eventually got home, Dream was in the living room on his phone, probably scrolling through Twitter. As he made his way into the living room Dream immediately stopped whatever he was doing.
"Hey Nick," Dream sympathetically greeted.
"Hi," Sapnap simply replied.
"How are you feeling?" Dream asked.
"Fine," Sapnap said.
"C'mon Nick," Dream sighed. He wasn't an idiot. He could see the red skin under his eyes. He could see how his eyes were glossed over with forming tears. He could see it all. He was always an observer.
Sapnap just started to cry. "Oh Nick..." Dream sadly said as he stood up, immediately wrapping him up in his arms.
"I don't understand what I did, Clay... I thought- I love him so much. I can't just- lose him like this i- I can't live without him..." Sapnap sobbed into his chest as Dream held him.
"None of this is your fault. I think we should give him some time to process everything as well, and maybe you guys can talk about it later," Dream calmly said.
"Okay," Sapnap sniffed and nodded.
"But do you want to talk about it?" Dream asked.
"I-... it's just that there was no warning! He just- said no and that I didn't love him! He said he didn't want to force me to marry him because he would be a burden! Why on earth would he think that?" Sapnap cried.
"Maybe someone made him think that way," Dream suggested.
"I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt him and I'm not fucking exaggerating Clay you better be lying," Sapnap said, anger bubbling in his chest at the mere thought of someone doing that to George.
"It's a genuine possibility, Nick. No one just- thinks that way about themselves naturally. Usually something or someone y'know... encourages that mindset," Dream explained.
"You don't think that-..."
"I'm not saying anything for sure, but I think there's something more to this that we aren't seeing," Dream said.
"God I hate this," Sapnap sighed as he rested his head on Dream's chest.
"It's a hateable situation," Dream agreed. He hated seeing his friends in this situation, but someone needed to stay strong in this house. He just hopes they can figure things out.
After almost weeks of barely interacting, Sapnap had enough. He wasn't going to break up without at least discussing why. Although he was worried about George. He'd barely even seen him in the past month. He had locked himself in his room, only coming out occasionally for food. He was starting to go back to those old habits from when he was in London, and it was worrying both Sapnap and Dream. They had no idea how to help him because he wouldn't let them in. He would talk to Dream, maybe watch an episode of a show while Sapnap was at the store, but other than that he refused to talk to Sapnap.
And God did it hurt.
Sapnap missed his boyfriend. What could have been his fiance. He missed the love of his life. He missed falling asleep in George's warm arms, missed the routine of giving each other a kiss goodnight.
It was at the one month mark that Sapnap had enough. He had spent too many nights crying to Dream, or just crying alone, and he was sick of it. He couldn't keep tearing up at the slightest of reminders of him. He couldn't bare to listen to George's crying on the other side of their wall. It was more heartbreaking to hear his cries and not be able to comfort him than it was to realize he would never get that love back. But it all changed when George got drunk.
George and Dream were out for a bit, and Sapnap decided he would try to talk to George when they got home. But he was met with a much bigger surprise. The door opened, and in came Dream with a rowdy, slurred worded lunatic hung over his shoulders.
"Clay?!-"
"Fucking take him, dude. The entire drive home he was complaining that you weren't there, and all he needs is you. I can't deal with him screaming and giggling anymore, dude. A man can only handle so much of a drunk George," Dream panted, most likely tired from dragging George inside.
"He's drunk!?" Sapnap asked, holding the intoxicated boy up.
"No he just ate a fermented pear. Yes he's drunk!" Dream sarcastically yelled. Sapnap lightly chuckled and nodded.
"I'll take care of him," he said.
"Thank you." Dream thanked, plopping down on the couch. He looked up at Sapnap with a reassuring look. Sapnap nodded and slowly guided George up to his own room, sitting him down on the edge of his bed.
"I'm gonna get you some water, okay? Help you sober up," Sapnap gently spoke.
"'M not drunk!" George drew out the last word.
"No? Why are you acting like this then?" Sapnap giggled.
"Because- because... because I'm drunk!" George exclaimed.
"Oh! I never thought of that possibility. I'm glad you told me," Sapnap smiled.
"Mhm!" George happily hummed, watching as Sapnap grabbed a water bottle from his mini-fridge. George smiled as Sapnap handed him the bottle, uncapping it for him.
"You treat me like you- *hic* love me," George giggled, kicking his feet like a child as he sipped his water.
"Of course I do, lov- George. I really love you," Sapnap softly spoke as he sat down next to George with a granola bar in his hand.
"No you don't, silly. You can't! Not me at least. My ex said that no one could-" George gasped, "is that the one that has chocolate in it?" He asked.
"Oh honey... I-" He's drunk. He's just saying stupid shit. "It is, bab- gosh, George," Sapnap smiled.
"Yay!" George cheered. Sapnap unwrapped it, moving the foil down about half way before guiding George's mouth open. George took a bite and smiled.
"You re- *hic* membered my favourite brand!" George exclaimed.
"Of course I did, George, why wouldn't I?" Sapnap asked.
"'Cause it's 'spensive compared to other brands," George simply stated.
"And I'm a multi millionaire, so paying the extra 50 cents doesn't really matter to me, George." Sapnap said. Something was off about George. He has never gotten this drunk before.
"Nooo- *hic* 'M not George!" George whined.
"No?" Sapnap asked.
"'M not George... 'M baby. 'M love, sweetheart, anything but George," George pouted.
"Is that what you want?" Sapnap asked. George nodded. "Alright, love. Take another bite, okay?" Sapnap instructed, holding the bar up to his mouth again. George quickly complied and took the bar into his mouth, biting down and chewing.
"I love when you say that," George giggled.
"What?" Sapnap asked.
"When you call me those things. My ex never did," George giggled and smiled, acting as if it were normal.
"H-huh?"
"My ex? He wasn't very nice," George said. "Water please?" He asked. Sapnap handed him the bottle, but he couldn't help but feel concern.
"Here," Sapnap said. He had so many questions, but it would be completely inappropriate to take advantage of George in his vulnerable state.
"Thank you!" George smiled, handing the water back to Sapnap. Once he put it down, Sapnap held the granola bar back up to George's mouth.
"Bite," Sapnap instructed. George did. He chewed, swallowed, and asked a question that broke Sapnap's heart.
"Why are you- *hic* treating me like this?" He asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You're being so nice to me. You aren't supposed to," George pouted. Did he... want Sapnap to hurt him?
"Why? Aren't you supposed to be nice to the people you love?" Sapnap said.
"You don't love me though. My ex said he did! But he didn't- didn't treat me like it. Well, I think at least. You're being way nicer than he was..." George said.
"Oh honey... I-" not now Nick! "I think we should talk about this once you're all sobered up. Right now isn't a good time," Sapnap stopped himself.
"Really? You aren't gonna ask me a bunch of- *hic* questions or try to see if I'm cheating or anything like that?" George asked. Sapnap felt his chest twist with a feeling he hadn't felt in a while.
"God love, no," Sapnap sympathetically said. "And besides, we haven't really been together these past few weeks..." He sadly added.
"Oh right... 'm sorry," George pouted.
"It's okay, love. Again, we can talk about these things once you're all sobered up," Sapnap reassured.
"Okay... *hic* in that case, c-can you keep being nice to me? I like how it makes my heart feel..." Sapnap could almost hear his heart shatter, yet it also twisted with rage. Rage towards whoever made George feel like this.
"Of course baby," Sapnap smiled. "What would you like right now?" He asked.
"M'tired," George mumbled.
"Okay, love, you wanna go to bed?" Sapnap suggested.
"Mhm!" George nodded.
"Okay," Sapnap agreed. He stood from the bed and helped get George comfortable under the covers. "I'll let you get some rest," He said.
"You're not staying?" George pouted.
"O-oh- Uh. Do you want me to?" Sapnap asked.
"Yeah!" George cheered.
"O-okay. I'm just gonna go talk to Clay for a second, I'll be back though," Sapnap promised.
"M'kay!"
Sapnap made his way down to the living room where Dream sat.
"Hey! How is he?" Dream asked.
"I-I... don't know. He- he's acting weird. Like, beyond drunk George weird. A-and he's saying shit that I know he wouldn't want me to know if he were sober and I-I don't know what to do," Sapnap rambled. Tears welled up in his eyes and it was obvious he was fighting it.
"Hey, hey hey, what's going on?" Dream quickly faltered, inviting Sapnap to sit next to him. Sapnap did, he sat down next to him and relaxed the moment Dream's arm found its way around his shoulders.
"I'm just," Sapnap let out a silent, breathy cry. "We've gone over a month without even seeing each other, and now he's in my room, drunk out of his mind laughing to me about a bunch of personal shit and telling me he wants me to call him "sweetheart" and it's all just so confusing," He explained, tears finding their way down his cheeks.
"Oh Nick I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have made you do all of this," Dream apologized.
"No, no, it's not your fault. I just- it's a lot," Sapnap sighed.
"This entire situation is a lot. Again, I really shouldn't have made you deal with this," Dream apologized.
"No, like you said, a man can only deal with a drunk George for so long. He's a lot when he's drunk. Well, he usually is..." Sapnap said.
"Oh?" Dream questioned.
"He's actually like- relatively quiet. His still giggly and cheery like he usually is, but he's not as rowdy. He's just... childish. A well behaved childish..." Sapnap explained.
"Oh... weird," Dream said.
"Yeah. And now he wants me to stay with him through the night, but I know he's going to freak out in the morning because-" Sapnap let out a weak cry. "He doesn't want to love me..."
"Nick, don't say that. You know that's not true." Dream said.
"It is! It totally is and I don't want to- to force him. Clay the reason he doesn't want to love me is because he's fully convinced I don't love him. He's convinced that it's impossible to love him. Can you imagine feeling like that?" Sapnap cried.
"I-... no, I can't. Fuck dude. D-do you think that's why..."
"I do. I'm like 99% sure that's why he ran off," Sapnap sighed. They heard George calling for Sapnap and lightly giggled. "I'm gonna go back up to him," he said, quickly wiping his tears.
"Okay," Dream smiled.
"Do I look like I've been crying?" Sapnap asked.
"A little. But with how drunk he is he probably won't notice," Dream said.
"Okay," Sapnap nodded, then making his way back to his room.
"Nick!" George smiled, seeming to melt into the soft mattress the moment Sapnap walked in.
"Hi baby," Sapnap smiled.
"Hi!" George giggled.
"You think you'll be able to fall asleep if I just sit next to you?" Sapnap asked.
"Mhm!" George nodded, already pulling the blankets up to his chest and nestling into the bed. Sapnap was fine with sitting on his knees beside him. He was fine with resting his head on his arm as he watched George fall asleep. He could do it. He didn't need to hold him. He didn't need the reassurance that he still loved him. No. He could sit here and wait. Watch. George reached a hand out from under the covers, and Sapnap knew what he wanted. He grabbed his hand and gently stroked the back of it. He can do this. "I love you, angel," George calmly said. "Even if I try to say I don't in the morning, don't believe me. 'M just a mess right now."
No he can't.
Sapnap felt the tears coming right back, desperately begging to spill from his eyes, yet he fought them off. He wasn't going to cry over some stupid words George says half asleep and drunk. He just can't do that. But a tear falls anyway.
He's missed this. He's missed holding George's hand and watching him peacefully fall asleep. He's missed hearing those loving words. And he definitely missed being his angel.
"No sad. Why are you sad? Be happy!" George smiled. Sapnap chuckled and sadly smiled down at George as he wiped a tear away for him.
If George keeps doing stupid shit like this, Sapnap won't be able to function. But fuck does it feel good to have someone wipe his tears. George wiping his tears.
He always does- did that. He would always wipe his tears for him as he cried, holding him and cradling him in his arms, rocking back and fourth slowly. Assuring him that he would be okay because he's not alone. But given the... circumstances, he hasn't been able to get that. He was crying over the one who wiped his tears. He was crying because he no longer had someone to wipe his tears. Because that someone was gone. Not literally, but he no longer knew George like he used to. So to have him wiping his tears now? It's a Rollercoaster of emotions.
"Why cry?" George sadly asked.
"Its- its a lot of things- don't worry about it, love," Sapnap sadly smiled.
"Is it 'Cause of me?" George asked. He looked sad at the idea of hurting him, but he also had this understanding look in his eyes. "I understand if it is. I've been mean to you..." He looked down as if shameful at the last part.
"No love, it's not-" Sapnap sighed. How can he simplify this down to something George's drunk little brain can comprehend? "It's not- you specifically it's-. It's this whole situation I guess. Let's not talk about this right now though. Maybe in the morning if you'll be up for it."
If you'll stop running away from me.
"Okay!" George softly smiled.
George seemed to be sobering up. He's never this genuine when he's drunk, yet he's starting to be more aware. He's starting to become more comprehensive and understanding. Maybe in the morning, things will start changing for the better. He could do that. And then-
Sapnap's thoughts were cut of with a soft snore. He looked down and saw that he had fallen sleep with his hand close to his chest. He held it like he would him. He really, really wanted to crawl into the bed and let himself be held in his arms. He needed it. After a month of being deprived of any love, it was getting ridiculous how much he craved the smallest bit of reassurance.
He waited until George seemed to be deeper in sleep, and slowly and gently pulled his hand from his grasp. He quietly made his way out the door, and then proceeded to make his way down stairs.
"Hey," Sapnap whispered to Dream who was watching TV with Patches on his lap. Naomi seemed to be considering trying to cuddle up on him as well, but refrained. Milo was off doing his own thing.
"Oh! Hey," Dream whispered back. "Is he asleep?"
"Yeah," Sapnap nodded, walking to the cauch and sitting next to him. Dream looked closer at Sapnap's face, and then faltered to a sympathetic sigh.
"You cried more," Dream sadly said.
"There's no hiding anything from you, is there?" Sapnap lightly chuckled.
"Nope. What happened?" Dream asked.
"He just- he got really affectionate. Wanted to hold my hand, and- he even told me he loved me. Called me angel and everything. He said that he would try to say he doesn't tomorrow but- but not to believe him."
"God Nick, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you do any of this," Dream apologized.
"No- no its okay. It's overwhelming but it's- good. I think I needed to hear that," Sapnap said.
"Okay. If you're sure," Dream sighed.
"I am. I just hope he doesn't hate me in the morning," Sapnap laughed.
"Oh come on, he's not gonna hate you," Dream scoffed.
"Sure," Sapnap chuckled.
"Do you actually think he's gonna hate you?" Dream asked.
"N-not really. I don't know that he'll be thrilled, but I doubt he'll hate me," Sapnap explained.
"I don't think anyone would be thrilled in this situation," Dream said.
"Fair point," Sapnap smiled, then yawned.
"You tired?" Dream asked.
"Mhm," Sapnap nodded.
"I mean, fair, it's like 1am," Dream giggled.
"Yeah," Sapnap nodded.
"You can go to sleep. I won't go unless you want me too," Dream said. Before George moved in, they used to fall asleep on the couch together every once in a while. It was a nice, grounding way for them to bond. And if Sapnap was being honest, he needed that right now. He's felt so alone this past month, this would remind him that he's not.
He let his head rest on Dream's shoulder without saying anything and tucked his knees up to his chest. Dream smiled and wrapped an arm around Sapnap, helping him get closer.
"Clay?"
"Yeah?"
"Is this going to get better?"
"... we can only hope."
After a couple minutes of this, Sapnap managed to fall asleep. Dream was relieved when he realized this. This past month, Sapnap has barely been getting sleep. He knew this because he heard the clicking of his keyboard through the walls every night. He was overworking himself severely, so to have him let himself sleep was huge. Eventually, Dream let himself fall asleep too.
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In the morning, Sapnap woke up early. Like 6am early. He managed to slowly get out of Dream's grasp without waking him up. He was so close to getting this video out, so he may as well finish up editing it now so he can get it over with. He quietly made his way to his room and made sure to keep quiet when he entered it, not wanting to disturb George's slumber. When he sat down, the chair squeaked, making him cringe and hope George didn't hear it. He didn't. He knew George could sleep through the sound of typing, so that wasn't a concern for him. So with that, he got to work.
After about an hour and a half of working, he heard the sound of shifting around coming from behind him. He stopped working and turned around his chair, but saw that George had just turned around. He lightly sighed and got back to work.
Another hour and a bit passed and it was now 8:45am. That's when Sapnap heard the sound of shifting again. He assumed he was just changing positions again until he heard:
"Nick?"
Fuck.
He couldn't have had a bit more time to mentally prepare himself?
"Hi George," He smiled, turning around in his chair.
"What... what happened last night?" George asked. Oh. Sapnap expected him to freak out. Try to leave and avoid him like the plague again.
"You got really drunk. Like, super duper drunk. Like worse than-"
"Okay, okay, I get it. I was drunk," George lightly chuckled.
"Good. So anyway, Clay came home literally holding you up because you were so drunk, and you just kinda flopped into me I guess. So I gave you some water and you fell asleep in here," Sapnap explained. They laughed together at Sapnap's little story and felt nice. It felt familiar, normal. It can only get better from here, right?
Right.
"My head hurts," George winced.
"No shit dude. Your probably really hungover," Sapnap chuckled.
"And I don't-" George got choked up and stopped talking, seeming to analyze something. "Fuck- gonna puke-" George muttered, quickly trying to stand up. Sapnap was quick to stand up and help him to the bathroom. When they got to the toilet, Sapnap made sure that George knelt down on the ground safely, and rubbed his back as he emptied his stomach out into the bowl. He softly spoke words of comfort as he coughed up whatever was left. When he was done, he flushed it all down and slowly sat up. Without saying anything, Sapnap helped him back to bed. George was quiet, but he still thanked him for helping out. But George had to ask.
"I didn't say anything too weird while I was drunk, right?" George asked.
"Uhm..." Sapnap didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to scare him away so quickly.
"Oh god. What did I say?" George asked.
"I don't think you want to know," Sapnap said.
"Nick."
"You said something that I'm pretty sure you don't want me to know," Sapnap quickly specified.
"Things like?"
"Things like your... your ex?" Sapnap hesitantly said.
"Fuck. How much did I say?" George asked. Sapnap could practically feel how anxious he was getting.
No you don't, silly. You can't! Not me at least. My ex said that no one could-
"You- you said that I couldn't- that no one could love you because your- your ex said so," Sapnap sighed.
When you call me those things. My ex never did.
"A-and you said your ex never called you like- petnames"
My ex? He wasn't very nice
"You said "he wasn't very nice" in your words."
You don't love me though. My ex said he did! But he didn't- didn't treat me like it. Well, I think at least. You're being way nicer than he was...
"A-and that he never treated you like he loved you."
Really? You aren't gonna ask me a bunch of- *hic* questions or try to see if I'm cheating or anything like that?
"And you implied that he would take advantage of you when you were drunk and try to question you..."
Now he just has to wait for George to freak out and run away. He's ready.
"Fuck I- I knew I shouldn't have..." George trailed off into mumbles. Sapnap wanted to ask him about it, but the fear in George's eyes completely threw him off.
"Y-you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to," Sapnap said.
"No I know. But you still deserve somewhat of an explanation don't you think?" George asked.
"I mean, it's pretty straightforward. You had a shitty ex," Sapnap shrugged.
"Well no duh. I mean- that doesn't excuse leaving you when you literally fucking proposed to me," George said. Oh. So he's okay with bringing this up?
Sapnap's originally awkward stance faltered to one of sadness. George could see. "O-oh well- we don't have to bring that up right now if-"
"George that is all I've wanted to talk about this past month. I just- God I don't know. C-can we talk about that? If it's not too much," Sapnap said.
"Of course, Nick. Where would you like to start?" George asked. Sapnap had no idea how George was being so calm.
"W-why... did you run away?" Sapnap asked.
"I-" George sighed. "My ex he... he proposed to me as well," He admitted.
"What?!"
"I know, I know. Crazy. I was... stupid back then. I said yes and he- he just- I don't know. Belittled me. That night he was going on about how I'm lucky someone like him would even consider wasting their time with me. He told me the only reason he proposed is so no one would have to deal with me. He just wanted to- to own me," George explained. A few tears had decided to make themselves known, and George quickly wiped them away. "I- I got scared that you would say those things to me too. I just- couldn't. I love you too much to hear that from you," George cried. The urge to cry was overwhelming for Sapnap. The idea that someone would hurt him like that was infuriating.
"C-can... can I ask one more thing?" Sapnap asked.
"Go ahead," George said, wiping a few more tears that fell.
"Why did you- avoid me?" Sapnap asked. Don't fucking cry Nick!
"I- what?" Did he seriously not know what sap was talking about?
"After you ran off you- we never spoke. George this is the first time we have spoken in a month! Do you know how hard that was for- how hard that could have been for you..." this can't be about me. I'm not the victim here. I wasn't abused.
"I-... I just couldn't face you. I was nervous about what you would say to me. I didn't know if you would hurt me like he did, I didn't know if you were going to lay it all on me- which now I realize I probably deserve- but I was scared," George explained.
Scared? He was scared? He broke Sapnap's heart. Quite literally shattered it into pieces and his excuse was "I was scared"? Sapnap should hate himself for being angry. He does. But he can't help it. He has never been in so much pain. His heart ached so much that it physically hurt. It was hard to know that Sapnap's heart hurt the most because of George, but it was true. All of those tears, those countless nights crying in Dream's arms, those hopeless nights of just sitting in bed feeling numb. All of it, and George can't even apologize? Maybe this was for the best-
"But that doesn't excuse what I did."
What?
"I hurt you. Severely. I spoke to Clay a lot this month and I... I realize now that you actually..." come on George, it's not that hard to say! "You actually love me. And thinking about the fact that I love you. A fucking lot. I realize that if the roles were reversed, I would have been crushed. And if you... if you love me like I love you, I can't imagine the outcome has been any better for you."
No it fucking hasn't.
"I was unfair, Nick. We've always been really good at communication, so I don't know why this time was any different. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I left you," George apologized. "You didn't deserve any of that."
That broke him. This entire conversation, Sapnap has been holding back tears. Desperately trying to keep them in because the last thing he wanted to be was selfish. But hearing George apologized stopped it all. A tear fell. Then another. And another. Yet he still held back.
"You can cry."
And cry he did. He let out a sob, pathetically trying to wipe his tears. Goerge shifted over to where Sapnap sat on the bed and held him. He wrapped him up in his arms and cried with him. It probably wasn't the prettiest sight, but to them, they were together for the first time in months. And that was all that mattered.
"G-george?"
"Yes, my angel?" George kindly responded, pulling away to wipe Sapnap's tears.
"What does this mean?" Sapnap asked.
"It means we're starting to heal."
Heal. They can do that. As long as they don't leave each other again, they will be okay. Because now they can heal.
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5676 words
OH MY LORD ITS FINALLY DONE >:D