Jeremiah.
Seeing how well Noelle composed herself added to her sexy. The confidence, boldness, yet compassion that she showed for Ayva and even Cheyanne made me even more attracted to her. A woman who can handle herself and back the people in her life was top tier. She went off on her, even threatened her a lil bit, but still made sure she made it home safe. That's what I call a woman. We sat outside, waiting for Cheyanne's Uber as I wrapped my arms around her to keep her from falling over cause she didn't want to sit to next to Noelle.
After a while, the Uber approached and we got her in there, and they left. "I just wanna go see my child" Noelle spoke, her head laid on Aria's shoulder. Child? That's where that nurturing side came from, she got a kid. I stalked her Instagram and Facebook and didn't see a kid, a husband or boyfriend, her posts stopped a few years back. My mind wandered if the father was in the picture or not.
Deciding she already dealt with a lot today, I was sure the topic would come up again, so I wasn't gon' go asking questions. Her having a child didn't put me off one bit, I still wanted her, even more now. Crazy right? Ion know, something in my gut told me that she was a woman who was worth it. I didn't get gut feelings that often, but when I did, they was almost always right. Aria made her way to Keith as he rested an arm around her shoulder and I lingered back with Noelle. She looked tired, mentally and physically.
"You aight?" I asked. She nodded her head silently. She stared at me, then slowly shook her head no, "I'm tired" she sighed, sitting back on the curb. It was nearly midnight, and it looked like the party would be ending early, we had to get up early tomorrow anyway to start gettin' ready for everything. I pulled up my pants, sitting next to her. Her head fell on my arm and I aint hate it. "Do you ever feel like you can feel yourself turning back into the person that you were before you started changing?" She asked, hugging her knees, her head still laid on my shoulder.
I wrapped my left arm around her, my hand rested on her hip as I thought carefully, "All the time. Especially during moments where I'm fighting my flesh. In my mind, I'm telling myself that I know I shouldn't be doing something or saying something, but the flesh be stronger than the spirit sometimes, especially when emotions be involved" I replied. She lifted her head and looked at me, "Yeah, that's exactly what I mean" she replied, her eyes locked with mine, but somethin' new was in her eyes. Somethin' different.
The first time I met her all them years ago, she had lust in her eyes. We both did. The second time, it was a flirty glint to her eyes, but this time, it's a look of revelation, like something in her mind clicked cause of what I said. "How do I fight my flesh?" She asked. I thought carefully, looking up, then back down at her. Her eyes never left my face. "The Bible says that the only way to overcome your flesh is by the power of the Holy Spirit. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you strength, you'll be okay" I replied as best as I could, nudging her gently with a small smile.
I heard Cheyanne try and threaten her with her relationship with God, and figured she was a woman of God. That explained the grace and confidence that she carried herself with. I don't know the history between her and Cheyanne, but it looked heated and deep rooted, she handled herself better than I would have if I'm being forreal.
"Don't worry, you handled yourself real well, most mu'fuckas woulda knocked her head loose, you was able to hold yo composure, most people can't do that" I encouraged her, making her smile at my words, showing her pearly whites that beamed off her chocolate skin. She sighed then stood up, reaching a small manicured hand out, standing in front of me. I grabbed hers and made my body go limp as she pulled on my hand with a laugh of her own, attempting to pull me up. "Get up before I leave you" she laughed, tugging my hand. I smiled then stood up from the curb as she wrapped me in a hug, her head laid on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back in an up and down motion, she still had that signature scent of vanilla. Grown woman vanilla.
"You gon be good, I promise you" I replied as we pulled from the hug and we headed back towards the building. As soon as we made our way back to everyone, Derek approached us, his clothes hangin off him sloppily, he was drunk. A drunk I ain't never seen him be before. He rested a arm around Noelle's shoulder, "Thank you fo-for defending Ayva." He slurred, getting a laugh from Noelle. She wrapped an arm around him, giving him a small side hug, "She said you're selfish, b-but I don't think so" Derek confessed.
I could see a glint of shock and sadness fill her eyes as she faked a small smile, my eyes widening at his words, "Aight, let's go this way" I grabbed my brother, leading him away from Noelle. I looked over my shoulder at her as she sat down in one of the chairs in front of the stage, she looked a lil hurt. Ion know what family issues they got going on but I find it hard to believe that she could be selfish.
I sat my brother down on one of the loungers, "You need some water, you gotta sober up" I spoke. He tissed his lips, "I'm cool, I'm getting married tomorrow, it's a celebration nigga" he replied slightly slurring his words. Derek is a chill ass business man, he kept his'self composed and polished most of the time, don't really talk like a nigga, that's how I knew he was drunk, he had a lil more substance when he was under the influence, he a square any other day of the week. I laughed at his loose words, "Nah, you need to sober up some man, Ayva gon have a hard time tryna carry yo big ass outta here" I advised.
"I really love Ayva... Don't tell her I said this, but I like when she give me attitude and act like a lil brat" he gave a goofy grin, making me smile at how whipped he was, but in a good way. "I can tell, she got'cho ass whipped nigga" I laughed, causing him to laugh. He looked at me, "You like her sister?" He asked, a smirk on his amused face. The nigga also blunt when he drunk, he say exactly what's on his mind when any other time, he keep that shit to himself and go about his day. If it ain't about his family, his girl, or his business, he don't give a damn.
I looked at him then glanced in Noelle's direction, catching a glimpse of her mid laugh with Keith, Aria, Ayva, and my cousin Derion, one of Derek groomsmen. "I think you hurt her feelins man" I noted, looking back at him, sitting up, manspread. "Aw shit, what I do?" He slurred. I could tell it wasn't his intention, he was just telling her how he felt and brought up a fact that ain't need to be brought up, but he was drunk so I wasn't gon jump down his throat about it. "Ayva really called her selfish?" I questioned, turning my head to look at him. "Yeah man, she said something about her moving away and leavin her with they parents while she was in a dark place" he replied.
I thought carefully, "Did she have a reason?" I poked for more answers. He shrugged, looking at me, "She had a baby or some like that" He shrugged again. When I looked back up, Ayva was nearing us. I sighed standing up as she came closer and Derek embraced her, kissing all over her face making her giggle. "Im finna go get him some water or else you gon have to carry him out on yo back" I said watching them with a smile on my face. He mocked me with his lips and flipped me off as Ayva swatted at his hand, his other arm wrapped around her neck as her back was pressed against his chest, "Aye bitch, you gon be thanking me in the morning for hydrating yo ass" I replied, pointing a finger at him as we all laughed.
I made a pit stop to Aria, Keith and Noelle at their table, catching the tail end of their conversation as they stood up, getting ready to leave, "Y'all headin out?" I asked like a grandpa. Aria stretched out her body, arms in the air, Noelle stood across from her, as Keith made his way to me, "Yeah, gotta get the kid tucked in for the night, she ready for bed" he joked, patting his little sister on the back as she swatted his hand and punched his arm in reply. He dabbed me up and I gave Aria a side hug and Noelle a full hug, "Thank you for talking to me, you put some things into perspective for me" she spoke as I nodded my head proudly, a smile on my face, "Any time" I replied. "Y'all be safe" I added as we all went our separate ways.
——————
Noelle.
When we'd finally made it to Aria's house that was 45 minutes from the bar, I heaved a sigh then looked in the backseat to Keith, "Jeremiah is Leilani's dad" I blurted. No build up, no opening speech, nothin. I felt like it would be better to just put it all out in the open. He stared at me, his mouth agape in shock, "The fuck? Since when?" He asked. "Since he and I slept together. We had a one night stand a few years back and boom, a baby" I replied.
We sat in silence, the more people I tell, the more I'm embracing the story. It wasn't my proudest story, but it was mine. Knowing that Jeremiah knew about God and was a different man from what he used to be, from what he tells me, made me feel comfortable with telling him about Leilani and alleviated my stress and anxiety on the situation. Just me feeling nervous around him was enough to tell me that there was something different about him compared to any other man that I've ever encountered, even my handful of ex's.
"Do he know?" He asked, still shocked. "Wait, did you know?" He asked, turning his head to look at Aria. She looked away and he grabbed her face gently to make her look at him again, "Did you know?" He asked. I watched, feeling the need to speak for her considering how many times she's done it for me, "She knew, but I made her promise not to tell anyone" I spoke up for Aria. He still held her face in his hand, "You so loyal, please don't eva leave me" he cooed, making me and Aria break out into a laugh at his words, even though we knew he was serious.
"No but for real, do he know?" He asked again, looking at me but smoothing down Aria's hair, he's so in love with her and it's so cute to me. "No, not yet, I'm gonna tell him before I leave, I just gotta figure out how ima tell him, I'm just scared of him being upset cause-" "Noelle, if I had a one night stand and got somebody pregnant and never got to meet that baby, I would be upset." Keith cut me off. Aria slapped his arm, "Don't say that right now, I have to teach you how to stop being so practical all the time" Aria spat.
"I'm sorry baby but I'm tellin the truth" he uttered. "Derek and Jeremiah ain't grow up with a father figure, we did. He was ass at being a father, but we had one, we was fortunate, Noelle. The one father figure that they did have was they older brother and he died. If he got a child, he gon wanna be in they life cause they ain't have that growing up. Me and Jeremiah two different people, my first emotion is anger, so ima be mad, but that don't mean he gon be mad. He may be disappointed or hurt cause he missed out on time, but he still got time, he got the rest of his life. You gotta tell him as soon as possible Noelle, for real. You got a man that actually wanna be a father, most women don't have that" he empathized.
I sat in my seat quietly, thoughtfully taking in his words. I hated when he was right, I'd already made the decision to tell him, but he definitely alleviated my worries. "What else do you know about him?" I asked, turning in my seat with a grin on my face, excited to learn more about my baby daddy. He sat back and unbuckled my seatbelt, "Not doin it, be a grown woman and talk to him yo self" he replied as he got out the car and I rolled my eyes as Aria laughed, "Dickhead" I mumbled before getting out the car and sluggishly walking to the house and going inside, Aria following behind me.
—————
After showering, I changed into my pajamas and ate leftover takeout and made me a pallet on my best friend's couch, leaving my dress out on a hanger on the laundry room door so that it doesn't wrinkle. My dress was a dusty rose color, a cowel neckline. It was satin material with thin straps and was a mermaid fit from the top and went flowy at my hip. It had a high slit and a little ruching up the hip near the slit. It hugged my figure but was still modest. I decided on gold jewelry with necklaces and rings that Ayva had specially made for all of her bridesmaids with our names carved into them and on the back, the date of the wedding, and the Bible scripture about two becoming one flesh through the covenant of marriage. The ring was dainty and had a diamond centered in the middle, our initials carved into the inside of the band.
It was a cute little touch and a thank you gift for agreeing to be apart of something so beautiful. The best man and groomsmen had detailed gold cufflinks with their initials carved into them to match Derek's. I went with Ayva to pick them up yesterday and they were all so beautiful. I managed to find gold heels that matched the jewelry perfectly, it couldn't have been a better match.
As I snuggled onto the couch, my blanket wrapped around me and a fan blowing near my head, my phone dinged, I had a notification from Facebook. Jeremiah sent me a friend request and sent me a message shortly after as I grinned at my phone like an idiot. "Tell him" the still soft voice of the Holy Spirit rang in my head, but this time, it didn't bring me anxiety or stress. It brought me a sense of peace, knowing that I was gonna listen and do the right thing.
Jeremiah:
I'm sorry if what Derek said hurt yo feelins
When he drunk he say what he thinkin
Noelle:
It's okay, it was a little shocking but I'm okay
I really do appreciate you talking to me outside
Jeremiah:
You seemed a lil tired
Like you had some on yo mind
Ion mind listenin so you welcome
Noelle:
It helped more than you know
I do wanna talk to u more tomorrow
Got some things to get off my chest
Jeremiah:
Well send me your number so I can lock you in
And we can talk more whenever you need
Even when you go back to San Francisco
I smiled at my phone as our messages went back to back, I didn't even get the chance to scroll on any other apps before he texted back cause he was reading and replying so quickly. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm texting someone I'm interested in and they take forever to reply. He was so attentive, it made my stomach flutter.
I sent him my number and we saved each other's before we both decided that it was getting late and that we were gonna go to bed. I didn't wanna fall asleep while texting him, I needed as much rest as I could possibly get before dealing with such a hectic day tomorrow. When the part of the reception hits when the music is playing and everyone has some alcohol in their system, that was gonna be moment I allowed myself to fully relax.
——————
The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing, it was Leilani. I smiled at her name and our picture that popped up and slid to answer the call, "Mommy, look at my hair" she grinned, her iPad sitting up on the dining room table as she stepped back so that I could see her curls, "You look so beautiful Nani" I smiled, taking facetime photos of her as she smiled and posed. She giggled, "I told Grams I want my hair like yours and she did it, she let me put the bow in it" she exclaimed happily.
I smiled watching her curls bounce around as she danced to the music that was playing at my grandparents house. "Grams washed your hair?" I smiled, sitting up on the couch. She picked up her iPad and stared at me, "Yes, you might need her to wash yours too mommy, yours is messy" she said, making me laugh. She really do got a way of humbling me. She laughed back as she took pictures of me now as I posed sillily, holding the phone at weird angles. "Don't worry, I'm about to get up and take a shower and wash my own, miss ma'am" I replied.
"Don't forget to ask grams or papa to put in your earrings that TT Ayva got for you, and make sure you practice throwing your flowers out" I informed, "I been helping her Noelle, she got it down pact babygirl, don't worry" my Papa said, standing behind Leilani, his wife beater on with his button down on over it, the buttons open. "Thank you papa, she hasn't been giving you trouble has she?" I asked, looking for any hints of a lie on his face, "Not at all, she beat me at basketball and a wrestling match" My grandpa spoke, making me laugh. "Goodness, between you and Keith, y'all are gonna have me signing my child up for UFC matches" I let out a full belly laugh, making my papa laugh in return.
"She a good kid Noelle, whatever you doing, keep doing it" my Grandma chimed in, standing next to my grandpa now. I could hear Leilani giggle, "Thank you grams, I'm trying my hardest every day" I beamed back at them. After talking for a while about when we'd be ready and on our way, we cut the call. Leave it to my grandparents to be up and getting ready two hours before the wedding actually begins. They run on old people time, I love to see it.
I got off the couch, stretching out my body and folding the blankets that I'd used and put them away in the hallway closet that I got them from. I dug through my suitcase and grabbed a sweatsuit to put on when I got out the shower, my hair care products, grabbed towels and soap and my toothbrush and made my way to the bathroom.
After showering and doing my skincare, having a praise and worship session while doing it, and brushing my teeth, I got started on my skincare then did my hair in a slicked up bun. Me Ayva and Aria had decided on putting our dresses and shoes on at the church so that our dresses didn't get wrinkled, and as of right now, everything was set to go on time.
———————
While doing my makeup at the vanity in Aria's Room, Aria opting to sit on the floor in front of a mirror, I got a call from Ayva. I picked up on the second ring and I could hear the panic in her voice. "Noelle, I completely forgot that we kicked Cheyanne out the wedding. I'm a bridesmaid short. What the fuck am I about to do?" She asked, panick easily heard in her voice. "Take a breather babe, do you have anyone else that can fill in on short notice? Or are any of Derek's groomsmen okay with walking in alone?" I suggested. She sighed, "I'm sure they won't mind walking in alone but that wasn't the plan that I had at all" she trembled.
"Derek's mom?" Aria spoke. I looked at her suggestively, "Yeah, why don't you ask Derek's mom?" I asked. She sat on the other end silently for a minute, "I'm scared to ask her" she confessed. "Ayva, you're a big girl, you'll be 24 soon, you're getting married for fucks sake. Just ask her, you never know what she'll say" I beseeched, showing her a little tough love. There were only so many options, and if she shot down everyone single one I gave her, she was gonna continually worry and I just need this day to run as smoothly as possible for her and my sake.
"Okay okay, don't yell at me, I'm getting married. Ima ask her" she replied like a little kid. "Love you" I sang into the phone before hanging up, giving her no time to protest any longer. I continued to do my makeup, stretching my eye lid as I did winged eyeliner. I decided to go for a cut crease brown and dusty rose eyeshadow, brown as my base. My cut crease was gold and a muted pink. I went for a pair of slightly fluffy false strip lashes that gave the cat eye affect. I didn't do too much contour but went for brown and pink blush, a brown glossy lip with dark brown liner, and gold highlight.
By the time my makeup was done, I got a text message from Ayva telling me that she was done with her makeup and was gonna be on her way to the church. I let Aria and keith know, and we packed up our little things we needed, and made our way to the church, beating Ayva, my parents, and grandparents there. She'd spent the night at my parents house so that the first time that Derek would see her today, she'd be all dolled up ready to be Mrs. Fletcher.
When we made it in, the first eyes to land on me were Jeremiah's. The sense of giddiness that I felt when seeing him in his suit made me feel less pathetic and more so happy, which was rare for me. The concept of having feelings for someone always made me feel like a lovesick puppy. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, I grabbed his arm and made him follow me outside, I needed to tell him that I remembered him before I lost the courage to do it later.
When we made it outside, he stood in front of me, a few feet away, a goofy grin on his face, the same one from the night we met, making me instinctively smile. I had to physically shake myself out of his trance that he somehow put me in, "What's wrong?" He asked, as I managed to look at him again, I shook my head. "Nothing. I just really need to talk to you" I replied. He smiled, "You remember me?" "I don't know if you remember, but a few years back-" "Wait, what?" I asked him, my eyes locking back with his as his words finally registered in my brain. I stared at him as he just smiled his silly smile. "Tito's?" He asked with a smile still on his lips. "Nikki" I replied instinctively.
He remembers me.
I stood there in shock. "You remember?" I asked, stepping closer to him. "How could I forget?" He chuckled. My eyebrows scrunched together as I punched him in the arm, "You remember me!" I whisper yelled. He touched the spot where I punched him, a laugh escaping his lips, "How long have you remembered?" I asked. "The moment I saw you at that bar I remembered you, Noelle" he confessed, his eyes never leaving mine.
I folded my arms, "Well why didn't you say something then? Why did I have to be the one to confess first?" I agonized, feeling like I needed to blame someone else and not myself. "Cause, Keith was there, and Aria, don't even get me started on Javier. There was so many other people around every time I saw you. I ain't have the balls to do it cause I ain't know if you remembered me or not, we was both in a dark place and we were drunk as hell that night. You stuck with me for some reason though. You was the event that happened that made me wanna sit my ass down" he concluded, placing both hands on my arms, finally confessing. My shoulders relaxed at his touch, leaving goosebumps down my biceps at the sensation of his warm hands.
I sighed then stared at him, my ego was trying to take over as it did way too often, as I prayed in my head for strength from the Holy Spirit to tell him what I wanted to get off my chest next. It felt good to have that small portion out in the open and to not hold it in anymore, but his reaction to what I say next was gonna determine it all. "Well, now that that's out-" "Mommy" a soft voice yelled. Dear God, not now. Please not now. If he looked hard enough, he's gonna notice the similarities between Leilani and his mom. The similarities between Leilani and him. This wasn't how I intended for this to play out at all.
I turned around and noticed my Grandparents and Leilani, Lani sprinting towards me, her Afro blowing with the wind, her dress bouncing with each step she took. I turned around, ready to get into mommy mode as I crouched down near the ground and scooped my daughter up in my arms, "Hi baby" I smiled, though my stomach was going crazy. She embraced me in a warm hug and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I felt Jeremiah's eyes on the entire interaction.
She released from the hug and I could see her staring up at Jeremiah as my grandparents approached. My papa nodded his head towards Jeremiah, "How ya doin?" He asked, holding a hand out to Jeremiah as Jeremiah cleared his throat, taking my Papa by the hand and shaking it firmly, "Good, sir, you?" Jeremiah asked back, faking a smile. I've been around him long enough to know that the smile he just gave my grandpa wasn't a genuine smile, I could see it in his eyes, he knew. My Grams patted him on the shoulder then looked at me, then down to Leilani, and held a hand out.
Leilani took my grandmother's hand, "You coming mommy?" She asked, staring up at me, then looking over to Jeremiah like he was gonna kidnap me, "I'll be there in a minute, mommy just needs a minute" I replied, holding back tears. Thank God I decided to wear waterproof mascara and eyeliner, Lord knows my makeup would be running after this conversation. She took one last look at him then walked to the entrance with my grandparents in tow.
My eyes finally met Jeremiah's, "Noelle why you ain't tell me the minute that you saw me at the bar?" He seethed. I could tell he was holding back frustration, his eyes watered and turned a tint of slight red. I'd decided that I wasn't gonna be like dream Noelle, I wasn't gonna stand there and say nothing, I was gonna get everything off my chest, throw my hands up, and apologize. If he decided that he wasn't gonna talk to me, I was gonna respect that also, whatever he needed, I was willing to compromise completely.
My eyes stung, "I was gonna, I just couldn't find the right time-" "Noelle, you had so many opportunities, so many man, ion wanna hear that shit. You know how it feel to grow up making a promise to myself that I wasn't gon be another statistic? I wasn't gon be a absent black father? You never gave me the opportunity" he spat, his frustration was turning into anger. By now he was crying, a few tears brimming at his eyes, and there was nothing I could do, nothing that I could say.
"It all happened so fast, I didn't know you, I didn't know anything about you, I dropped off the face of the earth when I found out i was pregnant, I didn't think I would ever see you again. I didn't want you to find out like this. It wasn't the-" "You know how bad I wanted to be a father? To be at every single doctors appointment? Every birthday? Holiday? School event? Every milestone? Noelle you took that shit away from me the minute you ain't tell me about her! You was one of the lucky ones. You grew up in a two parent household. You got to have a father and mother figure in yo life. If you woulda at least tried, Noelle, tried, alla this shit coulda been avoided. She wouldn't look me in my eyes and think I was a stranger. She would know that she got a dad, somebody who love her the way a man supposed to love his daughter." He grieved.
I cried, ignoring my tears that fell, attempting to grab him, to make him understand how sorry I was. "Jeremiah if I could go back I would have done it so differently. I'm sorry, please-" he cut me off, gently removing my hands from his forearms. "I needa minute" he replied. I stared at him as a tear left his eye. His breath hitched as he attempted to speak again, "I needa minute" he replied again, his voice barely above a whisper as he walked away, "Jeremiah!" I shouted after him. "Jere-" my voice gave out, as I kneeled down, tears filling my eyes.
In what felt like an instant, Aria was by my side, kneeled down on the ground with me, cradling me in her arms like I was a newborn again. She had a clump of tissues in her hand, dabbing at my makeup, "Come on, let's go in, he just needs a minute to cool off" she whispered to me, helping me stand up off the ground. Instead of going in, I went on the side of the building, Aria following me. "Aria he's so mad. He's so-" I attempted to get out my words, but it was as if the lump in my throat was blocking the words from coming out, all that came out was a sob.
She wrapped me in another hug, thank God her dress had thin straps too and I had on the best setting spray I've ever used, my makeup wasn't coming off on her shoulder nor the tissue. "He just needs a minute to process it all, you did your part, let God do the rest" She replied, rubbing her soft hand up and down my back. After a few minutes, Keith and Ayva joined us on the side of the church, Ayva wrapping an arm around me, "Are you okay?" She asked somberly.
I smiled, looking up at her, "Yeah, I'm okay... You look so beautiful" I replied, taking in her makeup and her hairstyle. She had her hair pinned up, two strands left out in the front that framed her face and they were curled. She had on a face full of glam with pinks and golds, thick lashes and a brown and pink ombré lip look with gold reflective glitter. I wrapped her in a hug, feeling another wave of emotions hit me at my excitement for her.
When we pulled from the hug, I giggled to hold back a cry, "I'm so proud of the woman that you've become. This is your day, you look so beautiful and I'm so happy that you guilt tripped Aria into reaching out to me for this, I just want you to know that I wouldn't have missed this, any of this, for the world" I lamented, holding my sister by the shoulders. "Go in there, with your head held high, and marry the love of your life. The people who are here are the ones who matter the most, always remember that when you look back at these memories" I added. She smiled, dabbing her tears away with tissue, Aria included, as we all made our way back to the entrance.
Keith stopped me mid step, "Don't tell nobody that I actually care about you, but come here" my brother joked, pulling me into a hug, causing me to almost get emotional again but I laughed through it. "You're a man, tell me what Jeremiah is thinking" I begged, my head on his chest as I sniffled. He sighed back, rubbing my shoulder, "He just need time. He a good man, he gon come around, just let him sit in it for a minute" he responded, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
We released from the hug and went back into the building. I made my way to the bathroom and got changed into my dress, staying in the front on the other side of the double doors. Everyone who was invited was here and decided not to run on black people time, which was a plus. We'd locked all the doors so Cheyanne's crazy ass couldn't come in and object to the marriage, she crazy enough to do it, and I can't beat her ass in the house of the lord. The thought crossed my mind and I laughed out loud, waiting for Ayva to put her dress on.
"Why're you laughing?" Aria asked, looking at me with an amused smile. I let out a full belly laugh, "I was thinking of me dragging Cheyanne through the alter, beating her up" I confessed, still laughing, making my best friend and sister laugh with me. "Imagine you finish then you get on your hands and knees at the alter and repent" Aria laughed a full belly laugh, making us laugh harder. "Lord forgive us, I would never" I spoke, forcing myself to stop laughing.
"Mommy" my child's soft voice spoke, coming into the bathroom. "Yes baby?" I asked. "I need help with my earrings, grams and papa said they don't have their glasses" she responded, holding her earrings out in her little hand. I kneeled down in front of her and carefully put the earrings in for her, "There you go baby" I said, fluffing her curls. She smiled, looking at me and Aria, "You guys look so pretty" she beamed, a grin on her face, "Thank you, you look so beautiful in your little dress and Afro" I beamed back, caressing her little face, "Just wait until you see your TT Ayva" Aria winked, kneeling down near her.
Moments later, Ayva came out the stall, her dress fully on, I could have gone emotional again, "You look like a princess" Lani went wide eyed, a sparkle of love and admiration in her eyes, making us all chuckle at her words, "Let's get Isis to take a picture of us" Ayva suggested, as I opened the door, seeing Jeremiah standing against the wall, avoiding my gaze as if I didn't exist. This was gonna be a long night.
———————
Everyone stood in place, the wedding planner in the back with us, Ayva hiding in the bathroom until it was time for her to come out. I stood next to Jeremiah against the wall, staring down at my shoes. His puffy eyes matched mine from crying, but his were worse as if he was crying more, which was understandable.
The first one to go out was Leilani, I could see Jeremiah watching her, the first smile since our conversation playing on his lips. I could hear his sniffle and see tears brimming his eyes again, but he pushed them back as she made her way through the double doors and we heard an array of 'Aww's' and camera flicks as the piano played a soft melody.
Next to come out was the groom and the priest, I heard laughter and a few whoops. We were next, Jeremiah seemed as if he didn't even wanna be in my vicinity, let alone touch me. "Next" the wedding planner whispered to me and Jeremiah. He laced his arm with mine as we made our way through the doors. I forced a smile, walking arm in arm with him until we made it to the alter. Before we separated, Jeremiah's eyes met with mine, and a flash of hurt was evident in his eyes, as he stood next to his brother. Derek clapped him on the shoulder then nodded his head at me and smiled, making me smile back.
When walking, I could see the photographer taking pictures of me and Jeremiah, I wasn't sure if he was smiling or not cause I was too scared to look at him. My eyes landed on my daughter, and her staring at me as if I was her hero was all I needed to shape up and pull myself out of my pity party that I've been having for the last day and a half. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a second, composing myself, as Aria and Derek's cousin Derion walked through the doors, as I watched, a grin on my face.
The rest of the groomsmen and bridesmaids came through, next was Ayva. Everyone watched the door in anticipation as they gently opened and the room filled with gasps as Ayva walked through, either arm having Keith on one side, My dad on the other. I was filled with so many different emotions, seeing my brother and dad cry as they walked her down the aisle was so heartwarming. Seeing Derek crying, my parents and grandparents, even Jeremiah was crying.
When they made it to the alter, they both pressed kisses to either of her hands, then made their way to their seat, Keith catching Aria's eye and giving her a wink that made her cheeks flush and a smile spread across her face, her deep dimples prominent on both cheeks. The wedding continued, as Ayva wiped Derek's tears from his face, getting a reaction from everyone, making me cry more. This couldn't have gone better for them, the reception was hopefully gonna go just as smoothly.
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Everyone got their pictures in, and I made sure to bring one of my professional camera's to get some pictures of my own of everyone. "Can I get one with the best man and the maid of honor?" The photographer asked, as Lelilani came up to me. I looked over at Jeremiah as he glanced at me for a split second then looked at Leilani, his eyes softening, then to the photographer, and nodded his head. I decided to keep my daughter by my side since she was the only reason I knew he said yeah to the picture, I was sure that in due time, he was gonna want this picture. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, and held Leilani's hand and I held the other, my hand around his back, as we smiled for the picture.
She snapped a few then he went back to his cold state, walking out the doors of the building as I watched. His brother patted my back, then stood in front of me, "Give him some time, he'll come around" Derek spoke, a smile on his face. I gave him a weak smile back, it was nice to know that someone wasn't upset with me, but Jeremiah has a right to be, I can't take that away from him.
Derek kneeled in front of Leilani, a smile on his face. "I'm Derek, I'm married to your Auntie Ayva, it's nice to finally meet you Leilani" he beamed. Leilani smiled, "I know, I saw you guys kiss" she made a face, making him chuckle. "I'm leilani, it's nice to meet you too" she smiled, taking his hand. He stood to his feel then followed his brother out the door. It took almost no time for his mom to make her way to me, "Noelle? I'm Danica, can we talk for a minute?" She smiled, she resembled her boys so much, it was uncanny. I nodded my head, "Of course" I replied, faking a half smile.
I for one, had, had enough talking for a lifetime, but she seemed sweet and like she was gonna hear me out. I knew there were gonna be questions, and I was prepared to answer them as best as I could. I followed her out the door. When Jeremiah saw us come outside, he stood up from the steps and went back into the building. I held back a sigh, as his mom wrapped an arm around my waist, "He'll come around, he just needs time" she spoke. I let out a little chuckle, "Everyone keeps saying that but I'm not seeing it yet" I said softly.
"When Jeremiah is upset, he's upset, but when he eventually gets over it, he's back to his sweet self in no time. It doesn't last forever, he doesn't have the heart" she cracked a side smile. I smiled in return, "That must be where Leilani gets it from" I replied. She sat on the steps and I sat next to her, leaving the ramp for people to go up and down on. "Leilani. Her name is Leilani?" She asked, her light brown eyes gleaming. I smiled and nodded my head, "Leilani Judea Diallo" I responded, giving her Leilani's full name.
She looked up at me, "Judea?" She asked, her eyes brimming with tears. "Yes ma'am, like in the Bible" I replied. A silent lone tear fell from her eyes. "Jeremiah told me that you don't know much about each other, but what all do you know so far?" She asked, dabbing her fingers under her eyes at the tears that repeatedly replaced the old ones. I looked over at her, "His father figure..." I replied. She smiled, nodding her head as if she was reminiscing, "Judah" she replied, a soft chuckle leaving her lips.
I looked at her, my head tilted, "His name was Judah?" I asked, my voice soft. She smiled, allowing her tears to fall now, "The moment I looked at her, Judah was all I saw. No offense to you, I'm sure you're a very lovely woman, and you are very, very beautiful, but she looks exactly like him when he was her age, just with more hair" she laughed, making me chuckle.
"Ever since Jeremiah was little, he always made a promise to me, and to himself, that if he had children, he would be there. Not absent, not in and out, but present. That's all he craved growing up, and while Judah did the best that he could, trying to be that father figure, it wasn't the same as him having his dad. I'm gonna leave that for him to tell, but I just want you to know, that I'm sure you did what you felt in your heart was best at the time, but I also feel like there's no better time than the present, I thank you for telling him. He missed out, but he's still got a lifetime to go. And when he gets past that hurt of those few years, it'll be like he was around from the start, I'm gonna be sure to remind him of that as often as I can" she informed me, wrapping an arm around me as I dabbed at my eyes.
I turned to wrap her in a full hug, "Thank you, and I really am sorry" I whispered. She rubbed my back in response, sensing that I needed comfort. Ms. Danica was a lovely woman, and it's evident how much she loves her sons, even the one who is no longer here. I'm hoping that Jeremiah will find it in his heart to forgive me, I'm gonna have to pray the shame and guilt away. I'm gonna feel my emotions but pick myself up by my boot straps and keep it pushing. He'll forgive me in due time, I have faith in that.