Aria.
"Noelle, you need to slow down" I spoke, reaching over her head attempting to grab her fourth drink of the night. After today, I could see this coming. She's been going back and forth in her mind since last week, but finding out that Jeremiah was gonna be around way more than she anticipated was eating her up, and when huge things like this are out of her control, she blows up and turns to the bottle. I don't care what anyone says, the shit is hereditary.
All she's seen all her life is her parents deal with their life by drinking it away, it was bound that one of them would pick up on that addiction, it sucks that it's my best friend, but as long as I'm around, I won't let her go down that path that she went down before she had Leilani again. She's got a child to take care of this time around, I wasn't gonna let the shit that happened before happen again.
I won't lie and say that I didn't enable her back then cause I did. I was her drinking partner, and while I didn't do it all day every day, I've had my moments where I've gotten drunk to the point where I'd fall out. Her and I would take turns being the DD, so when I saw that she was getting up there with her drinks, I'd stay as sober as possible, and vice versa. It would be a different story if I knew she didn't have so much on her mind and if there wasn't something that she was running from or trying to drown her sorrows in. She's been building such a lasting and deep relationship with God and I know how much her beliefs mean to her.
"I'm not even that drunk, just slightly tipsy" she slurred, her face inches from mine and a giddy grin on her face. Her eyes were barely opened, this last drink was gonna send her closer to the edge, and I wasn't gonna allow that, I don't care how upset she got. I shook my head, staring in her eyes, "Let's go to the bathroom, I have to pee" I lied, standing up and grabbing her wrist, not even giving her the chance to disagree with me.
We were at Ayva's bachelorette party at some night club, all her bridesmaids wearing cute little white dresses, Ayva wearing a pink one, as I drug Noelle to the exit next to me, my purse hiked up on my shoulder. Almost everyone that we came with was drunk or on their way to being drunk. Noelle had arranged everything from San Francisco when she made it home last week, thinking that this was a chill place where everyone would just casually sip, talk, and sing some karaoke, but it was far from that tonight. I don't know if it's cause it's a Saturday night or what but the place was packed and the singing was hurting my ears, but drunk people will dance to just about anything I guess.
"Why are we out here?" She asked, looking around at the packed parking lot. "Noelle, sit down" I spoke sternly. She sat, even though I knew she didn't want to. I feel like we're both very nurturing to each other but Noelle shows more tough love than I do. She's a mother, and even before she was a mother, she was a mother. To Ayva, to Keith, hell, even to her parents. No one ever really heard her out unless she gave tough love, and she got a lot of shit from her parents which made me want to be more gentle with her when I told her what she needed to hear, but it's my turn to show her some tough love without making her feel like shit the way her parents did. That's a wound that still isn't fully healed and I'd hate for her to feel like I'm picking at it in any way.
"You have a lot on your mind and you've had a lot on your plate for the past week or so, but I need you to shape up and start opening your mouth and telling me what's really going on in your mind. I can't be here for you and support your decisions that you make if I don't know what you're thinking. Getting drunk and trying to drown out whatever is gnawing at you isn't the way to go, and you know this from past experience. Jeremiah is gonna be around now, whether you like it or not. Some secrets aren't meant to be taken to the grave, Noelle. Open your mouth and tell me what you're thinking" I spoke sternly, staring down at my friend, trying to make her understand my words.
She looked up at me, mouth slightly ajar at my words, "What if he wants to take Leilani from me?" She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. I could see her eyes start to well up. She was tipsy, but not too tipsy to understand what I'd just said to her. I sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her, "Oh honey, that's not gonna happen. You're an amazing mommy to Leilani, anyone with eyes can see that" I replied, dropping the tough love cause I'd gotten through what I needed her to hear. All she needed now was encouragement and a hug.
"What if he wants to like, take her for a weekend or something? I don't know him, Aria. I know nothing about him. Im so embarrassed that I have a child with a man that I don't know. What if he's mad he missed so much of her life already? What if she goes her whole life without knowing who her father is? Where she gets certain traits from? Why her favorite food is her favorite food?" She bombarded me with what I assume her thoughts about the situation at hand were. I laughed softly at her questions, I would like to say that they were ridiculous questions, but I had to validate her feelings, plus, I'm not in her situation, so these may be very valid worries.
"What if he rejects my child?" She whispered again. She let the tears spill. "I went through almost my entire life feeling rejected by my parents. That's a pain that I never want my children to ever have to experience" she cried silently. I thought about her words, taking them all in. "Noelle, he deserves to know. And Leilani deserves to know that she has a dad. You know better than I do that everything happens for a reason, everything. If that's something that you have to deal with after telling Jeremiah, then that's something that you and Leilani can work through dealing with together. You're focusing too hard on the negatives than the possibility of the positives, this conversation with him could go either way" I replied. She stared ahead of her at the lot full of cars, more tears falling silently.
I felt like everything I was saying was going in through one ear and out the other, I knew exactly what to ask her next. "Have you prayed about this?" I asked, looking for her eyes before they locked with him. She blinked and one last tear fell before she wiped it away, she nodded her head. "Yeah... yeah, I have. I prayed a lot, actually" she replied. I smiled softly, "Your faith is bigger than your worries. The Bible says to cast all your cares on the Lord, you know that. You're the one who showed me that scripture, right?" I nudged her as she laughed softly, looking away before sniffling. "Did you get a reply from God?" I asked.
She didn't respond. "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened" I spoke, reciting Matthew 7:7 to her. I saw her break out in a small smile, "The Holy Spirit has been giving me dreams and has been telling me repeatedly to tell him..." she spoke softly. She turned her head to look at me, her face scrunched together as another wave of sadness hit her, "...I'm so scared, Aria, and so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed." she finished. I wrapped her in a hug as she let her tears out, "You know how important obedience is on your walk with God. I know sometimes it can be so hard, but God won't allow you to go through certain things if it wasn't gonna be good for you eventually." I spoke softly, rubbing her back up and down.
"You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later" I whispered, quoting John 13:7 to her, making her cry a little more. I know for sure that that's one of her favorite Bible scriptures. Seeing her faith grow and to see her so deeply rooted in Christ has been so amazing. I've gotten to witness every single one of her character arcs in the flesh and it's been motivating me to start building a relationship with God, just seeing His love be embodied in her. The different type of light that she carries now when she was once in so much darkness; It warmed my heart and fueled a new fire within me to seek Him for myself.
After a few minutes of being in our same position, she lifted her head from my shoulder, "Can you call Ayva for me? Ask her to come out? I'm gonna tell her about Jeremiah while I still have the courage" She sniffled. I took no time pulling my phone out my purse and calling her number, knowing that out of everyone that came, she's the only one not drunk. While I couldn't stand her at times, I respected her decision not to drink, seeing how it affected her family in more ways than one.
I had to call her a few times before she picked up. "Hey, come outside, Noelle needs you" was all I had to say before she hung up. It took less than three minutes for her to have her heels in her hand and come running towards us, "What's wrong? What happened?" She asked, holding on to my arms out of breath. "Breathe, nothing is wrong. Noelle just needs to talk to you" I replied, helping her down to the curb. She sat on the ground in front of her sister, noticing that she was crying and her mascara had run down her face.
"What the fuck happened?" She asked, holding her older sisters face as if she was her mom, looking for her eyes. "I'm a little tipsy right now, but I gotta tell you cause it's eating me alive.." she started. She sat up, looking at her sister. I sat on the curb next to her and grabbed her hand and Ayva grabbed the other one, "I didn't want to tell you right now cause this is your weekend, it's supposed to be about you, but I got a lil bit of liquid courage and I don't think I'll have enough courage to tell you later on..." she continued. I could tell she was trying to brace herself. Ayva looked at me, a look of worry flashed across her eyes as I nodded my head at her and Noelle continued.
"The only one who knows about this is Aria, so please don't tell anyone else, especially Keith and Derek until I find a way to tell everyone... Me and Jeremiah slept together a few years back. It was a one night stand like a month before I left. He's Leilani's dad. He doesn't know, Keith doesn't know. No one knows. No one but you and Aria. I didn't tell anyone cause I was embarrassed of how it happened and I didn't want anyone to judge me cause-" she was cut off by her sisters arm's wrapping around her in a hug. Noelle was taken aback by the embrace but instinctively melted into it, hugging her sister back.
I knew she felt guilty about dropping this bomb during a weekend that was supposed to be for her sister, but the bond that her and Ayva had surpassed any of the guilt, worry, or even shame that she felt cause of it. I stood up from the curb and took a step back, allowing them to have their bonding moment, I took most of that away growing up, the least I could do was let them have their few minutes alone. "I'm gonna go back in and make sure Cheyanne doesn't seduce the bartender" I spoke, getting a laugh from the sisters who were now releasing from their hug.
I headed back into the bar and sat at our table, Cheyanne joining me shortly after. We sat in uncomfortable silence, listening to the drunk couple sing a love song that made me want to literally get up and leave, it was funny though, so I decided to record them and send the video to Keith. As soon as I sent it, he opened it. It took a few seconds but he sent me a video in response, a video of the same exact couple on stage, a girl sitting near the middle who looked oddly like me from the back. I turned around in my seat looking for him, and when my eyes landed on him, I let out a full belly laugh as he snaked his way through the crowd and wrapped me in a hug, kissing my temple and I melted into the hug, "Aren't you supposed to be at the bachelor party? What are you doing here?" I laughed.
He slid into the set next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Almost everybody else got drunk, Including Derek, and he missed Ayva so he made me drive the whole party here. He followed her location" he laughed back, picking up my drink and taking a sip from the straw. "That nigga whipped" he mumbled, his mouth still on my straw. I looked around, seeing a few of the groomsmen spread out, talking to a few random women, all in their button down white shirts, it was kinda adorable. The only one I didn't see was Jeremiah. "Jeremiah went home? He's the only one I haven't seen" I asked, being as sly with my question as possible, on the look out for him or Noelle, or both.
He shook his head, finally taking my straw out his mouth, "Nah, he came. I think he just wanted to see Noelle, he definitely got a lil crush on her, they got a lil crush on eachother" he spoke, he looked at my drink, holding the glass up to his face, "What fruity ass drink is this? Ain't no alcohol in this shit?" I nudged him, taking my drink from his hand, "You always chew my straw, I hate sharing drinks with you" I groaned, taking my fingers and attempting to bend my straw back into its original shape as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead, ignoring my complaining.
"Where is he?" I asked, looking up at him, his arm still around me. He looked around the busy building then nodded his head in a general direction, "He over there at the bar, I'm finna go over there and get a real drink" he side eyed me, pressing a peck to my lips before standing up. I sighed and took a long swig of my drink before getting up to find Noelle, making sure I had my makeup wipes in my purse. If she's gonna talk to him, she cant have mascara running down her face like she's auditioning for Euphoria.
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Noelle.
After a good conversation with my sister, and her telling me a little more about Derek and Jeremiah's family life, I decided on telling him about Leilani. I had no idea when or how, but her and Aria are right, he deserves to know. I wish I would have talked to her earlier, It would have saved me so much worrying and anxiety over the past week or so. I also should have just been obedient to the Holy Spirit, I know that God will never lead me down a bad road, but my disobedience could and already has since the moment I decided on doing the opposite of what God told me to do.
Anxiety was something I rarely dealt with growing up, even when I was in my darkest of moments. The moment that I didn't listen to the Holy Spirit when I was told to tell Jeremiah about Leilani was when my anxiety about the situation got worse, hence the throwing up. If I had have just listened, I wouldn't be putting myself through so much stress and anxiety. If I decide to cast all my cares on God like he tells me to, I have to fully give it to Him and trust that He'll work it out in the best way that He sees fit. His will, not mine.
Aria came out of the building just as me and Ayva were coming up. I could sense that I looked a hot mess cause bystanders were looking at me crazy, but I just let it be. I'm working on not being embarrassed by everything, I can't control people giving me funny looks, so I was just letting it roll off my back. Aria made it to me, saying nothing, but digging into her purse and pulling out makeup wipes. She cleaned my face and ran her hands back on my slicked back bun, smoothing it down for me before she gripped my shoulders and looked at me. "The men decided to move the bachelor party here, Jeremiah is in there, it's up to you if you want to tell him now or wait, I'm here for you" she spoke sternly, keeping her eyes locked on mine.
I nodded my head, "Okay. If it comes up then it comes up, if not, I'm gonna tell him before I leave and trust God to work out the rest" I replied. Aria broke out into a smile, Ayva following suit, "That's my girl" she replied, pulling me into a hug as I hugged her back. "Real cute moment... Im finna go find my man, love you. Your secret is safe with me" Ayva pecked my cheek before going back into the building happily. I chuckled at her giddiness to see her husband as me and Aria went in together.
I followed her as she made her way to the bar, Keith and Jeremiah waiting in line talking. My eyes met with Jeremiah's and I could feel myself sober up at the sight of his smile. Aria made her way to my brother and stood next to him, one of her hands balled up in his pocket to stay near him without being under each other. "Hey" Jeremiah spoke, his eyes doing a once over of my white cocktail dress and nude strappy heels. "Hi, Jeremiah" I replied.
Keith was next in line as Jeremiah left room for me to get in front of him. Taking notice of this little action, I stood in front of him in line, ready to order me a simple mixed drink to sober up completely. I meant it when I told Aria I wasn't that drunk. I won't lie and say that I didn't plan on getting drunk, cause I did, willing to deal with my consequences later.
"Have you already had a drink tonight?" He asked from behind me, still towering over me even though I was nearly 6'1 in my heels. I turned around to look up at him, my eyes locked with his, "Yeah, I had a few shots already. What about you?" I asked. His eyes stayed locked on mine the whole time, "Nah, not really. I ain't been drinking a lot lately, I be pacing myself nowadays" he replied. I nodded my head, "Me too. I used to be a big party girl, life slowed down and I learned how to adjust" I admitted in agreeance.
He nodded back, "The old has gone, the new is here" Jeremiah smiled down at me, his eyes never leaving mine. My eyebrows knit together in curiosity at his words, remembering that I've heard them before. It definitely had to be a Bible verse. Amusement played across my face as he smiled, nodding his head to what was in front of me, causing me to turn around and see that I was next in line. I looked back at him then took a step toward the small bar area, "What can I get for you?" The woman behind the bar asked. I thought carefully before I spoke, "Can I have just a lemonade with a splash of Tito's?" I asked, beaming a smile at the woman.
I felt a hand on the small of my back as Jeremiah stepped up next to me then looked down at me then back to the bartender, his hand never leaving me, giving me hot flashes at the sensation. "Can I also have the same thing? Just a little bit more than a splash of Tito's?" He asked, smiling at the woman, "Of course" she replied. He stared down at me as I kept my eyes on the woman, then I looked up at him, squinting my eyes at him. Why did I feel like he was up to something? He laughed as I squinted as the woman slid the drinks towards us and Jeremiah paid for them both, grabbing them, making me follow him, knowing I'd want my drink.
He sat at an open table in the far corner away from all the noise, secluded. I could see Aria looking around for me and I caught her eye as she nodded her head at me. I loved when we had silent conversation using our eyes, head nods, and body language. He sat the drinks down and I sat at one of the chairs around the small round table. "You just gonna make me sit with you?" I asked, looking up to meet his gaze. He stared at me like I was a mystery that he'd finally solved, which made my stomach churn, but I knew that if it was gonna happen tonight, everything would work out the way that it needed to. 'It' being the conversation about Leilani.
"You not being forced, you free to get up and leave right now if you want to" He declared, his eyes never leaving mine. My stomach fluttered when his eyes met mine, I looked down at my drink, stirring it with my straw, "Why do you do that?" I asked, looking back up and taking a sip of my drink, my straw to my lips. He tilted his head thoughtfully, making my stomach pulsate, "Do what?" He asked, leaning back in his chair, making me lean forward in mine, wanting to feel close to him again. "That, that right there" I laughed instinctively. He threw his hands up, a grin on his face as he laughed, "I'm just lookin' at'chu, what you mean?" He chuckled.
"Mhmm" I mumbled out, a smile still on my face as I looked back down at my drink, my leg now crossed over the other, my right foot accidentally rubbing against his leg, which I ignored. "You tryna play footsies?" He grinned, making me giggle like a schoolgirl, I covered my mouth, "Absolutely not, don't even do that, it was an accident" I laughed.
He nodded his head slowly as if he didn't believe me jokingly, still a smile on his face. His eyes narrowed at mine, "So you used to be a party girl? What happened?" He asked, leaning back towards the table, his hands laying palms down. I stayed in my position, our faces a few feet away from each others now. I looked down at my drink and stirred it again, looking back at his brown orbs. "Life. Growth. My party phase only lasted for a few years but I was in a dark place during most of it. It was a road that I never wanted to go down, but life had other plans for me" I replied vaguely.
He nodded as if he understood, "I like that. I never would have thought you was a party girl, you seem real chill, reserved" he responded. "People change, they grow. Did you ever go through a party phase?" I asked. He shrugged, "Yeah, life had to sit my ass down for a while, I been chillin' since. It took a while for me to become the man I am, but it's earlier than most men decide to get they shit together. There was one moment in my life that made me realize I needed to chill out" he spoke, his voice soothing to me. I could have listened to him speak the same sentence on a loop for hours.
I wanted to ask him what that moment was, but I didn't wanna seem like I was prying. I sat silently, nodding my head, waiting to see if he would spill, but he just stared at me, and I stared at him. "Tito's?" He asked, his eyes never leaving mine. My breath hitched. My mind automatically went back to the dream that I had about him and Leilani. I stayed in my position, still staring at him silently, nothing being able to come out of my mouth. I never expected this to be happening in this exact moment, I prayed in my head for what felt like a full 10 minutes even though it'd only been a few seconds.
I told God repeatedly that I wasn't ready to tell him, not yet, not here. Not like this. I prayed for a distraction, something to happen, someone to interrupt us, anything. I still stared, my eyes locked with his and I could feel my eyes about to start watering, as his eyebrow raised, a hint of hope in his eyes that I remembered him from all those years ago, when I heard shouting. Ayva. I stood up, looking around for my sister.
"Give me a minute" I spoke to Jeremiah, as he nodded his head, standing up with me and grabbing both of our drinks, as I made my way to where my sister was. "You been runnin yo mouth? I invited you to be in my wedding and you lying an shit? You know damn well what happened between me and Derek" Ayva shouted as Keith held her, she was stood up on one of the loungers. Ayva doesn't drink so I knew she was stone cold sober, what the hell happened, I was only with Jeremiah for like 10 minutes.
"Ayva get down, what happened?" I asked. "Lying? Who lying? You know you slept with that man" Cheyanne shouted back, being held back by one of the groomsmen. I looked at her, my eyebrows knit together in anger and confusion. I made my way to her, "The fuck are you talking about?" I asked. Her eyes met mine, she was drunk as hell. Her lips curved into a sinister smile, and it angered me to my core. Her intentions weren't good, they never were. They never are, and that pissed me off even more, cause Ayva gave her chance after chance to get her shit together cause they were 'best friends'.
"You don't hear me? What is you talkin about?" I repeated myself, stepping closer. I knew I was upset now cause I wasn't using what was deemed as proper English, she was bringing the old Noelle back little by little just by standing there, staring at me with her goofy ass face. "Your sister cheated on her husband. That's what I'm talkin' about" she grinned. I could sense the demons working through her, and while I knew it wasn't her I was dealing with, but the demons operating behind her, my flesh wanted so badly to beat the shit out of her and leave her ass on the floor.
I pried the groomsmen's hands from her, and kept my eyes locked on hers, "Whatever you think you know, you don't. I suggest you take this Uber that I'm about to get for you, and take your ass home before you have to peel yourself up from off this floor" I threatened, my eyes never leaving hers. She laughed, "You won't do that, you a Godly woman now, holier than thou, ain't it?" She asked, her voice laced with mockery.
I smiled back, moving closer to her, we were face to face now and I felt an arm grab mine, when I looked back, it was Jeremiah. I ignored him, "I am a Godly woman, but deep down, very very deep down, the old Noelle is still down there, and what you don't wanna do right now is poke that bear. I will drag you across this floor, left and right, and won't have a problem with repenting later. Take your graces and the mercy that I'm showing you, and go find somewhere safe to play" I spoke through gritted teeth.
Knowing Cheyanne for as long as I have, and hearing all her stories from Ayva, one thing about her that I know is that she's the type of person who you have to show you're not scared of, or she's gonna keep trying to poke and pick at you. She doesn't bother anyone unless she thinks she's got an upper hand over them. If she believes that you're weaker than her, she's gonna go for it. I needed her to know that while I have found God, Ayva was my first child, and I'll do whatever I need to, to protect her.
This cheating situation that she claims happened, happened when her and Derek broke up before they got back together. They were in a relationship for six months and he couldn't deal with Ayva still being the old Ayva that she was, a brat and insecure, amongst other things. I know this because she told me about it while she was driving me to the airport last week so I could catch my flight back home. She told me that she'd told Derek about it, and while he was hurt, he found it in his heart to forgive her cause he loved her and she loved him. Cheyanne was coming through with twisted news, not knowing that she'd told Derek what happened already.
Cheyanne's face contoured with anger as she stared me down, my eyes never leaving hers, and she made her way to the exit, the drama dying down. I followed behind her, Aria, Keith, and Jeremiah hot on my heels. When we made it outside, I pulled out my phone, booking her an Uber as she walked aimlessly. "Sit down, your Uber will be here in five minutes" I grabbed her arm, forcing her to sit on the curb. "Fuck you, I don't want your Uber" she hissed, pulling her arm from mine, but sitting her silly ass down. Cheyanne knew not to play with me, I been owed her an ass whooping for her fuckin with Ayva over Giovanni all them years ago, and I wasn't too proud to admit that.
Keith made his way to me, ready to hold me back, but I knew I wasn't gonna put my hands on her, I was gonna make sure she made it home safely though, but my threats still remained the same. I was ready to curb stomp her if she got out of line. I didn't know where she lived now, but I got her an Uber to her parents house. I managed to remember the address cause it wasn't far from my parents house. I sat next to her on the curb, Aria sitting next to me on the other end. "Even when I'm not a mother, I'm still a fucking mother" I spat out of frustration. Aria laid her head on my shoulder, "Oh honey. You've got a heart of gold" Aria praised me.
I rolled my eyes, "How do I give it back? I don't want it anymore" I replied with a sigh. Aria giggled, "Unfortunately you can't" she said softly, as I pouted like a child and laid my head on top of her head. I could feel Cheyanne trying to stand up next to me and I sighed, "Jeremiah, get her please" I pointed, reaching my hand out towards him. He chuckled from behind me and moved over to grab Cheyanne just as she was about to fall over trying to stand up in her heels. She wrapped her arms around him like a damsel in distress. I could hear her attempting to flirt with him, but I didn't care. She could do whatever she needed to do to stay away from me. I knew something was gonna happen tonight, I just didn't expect it to be this. I'm glad she showed her true colors and true intentions before being apart of the biggest day of my sister's life.
An Uber pulled up near us, it was the girl from the picture on the app, the same car, license plates and all. "Noelle?" She asked, her window cracked. I nodded my head, "Can you please make sure she makes it in the house safely?" I asked the woman at the window and she nodded her head as Jeremiah and Keith put her in the backseat of the car. The door closed with a gentle slam and the girl pulled away. I let out a sigh, putting my hands on my head. If I wasn't completely sober before, I sure as hell am now. "I just wanna go see my child" I spoke, my arms wrapped around Aria in a hug.
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AN: Anyone enjoy Noelle's short lived pity party? Some juicy stuff coming next chapter, might release later tonight if I finish & if I don't fall asleep while writing or reviewing it. I love y'all but Jesus love y'all so so much more💋
Alsoooo, outfit inspo's for the girlies, idk if y'all like it or not but I do😚
NOELLE'S OUTFIT
ARIA'S OUTFIT
AYVA'S OUTFIT