Saturday October 28, 00:25
After a pleasant evening in the café, the holidays have officially started well. Everyone seems ready for a week of rest and enjoyment. However, I suddenly see Anaïs looking at her watch with a worried face. Without a moment's hesitation, she hurriedly gathers her things and tells us that her last bus is about to leave and that she cannot afford to miss it. Deciding to call it a day as well, I join her on the way out. "Bye! I'm going to catch my bus," Anaïs exclaims hastily as we step outside. "Bye," I reply quickly, my eyes searching for my bike. But it is nowhere to be found. "Fuck, no! Idiots!" I mutter in frustration. Anaïs turns to see what's wrong. "What?" she asks. "My bike has been stolen..." I reply, pointing to the empty space where my bike should be. A mischievous grin appears on Anaïs' face as she laughs at me. "Wasn't that my bike?" she asks teasingly. I come closer and say, "You were too pussy to claim it." "I wouldn't have got very far if it is stolen already..." Anaïs points out. I look at the empty spot and to be honest I have to admit that she has a point. "What can I say? Karma's a bitch. But that's life, I guess: Take it or be taken," Anaïs teases me with a strong attitude. She catches me using my own words against me, leaving me speechless for a moment. I stare at her in disbelief, yet amused. I can take this teasing, I kinda like it. Undeterred, Anaïs looks down at me before turning to continue her walk towards the bus stop. As I no longer have a bike, I decide to accompany her. "Where's the bus stop?" I ask curiously. "Five minutes, hurry up," Anaïs urges me, already breaking into a run.
As we run into the street near the bus stop, Anaïs runs ahead of me, playfully shouting, "Come on, you slowpoke!" I reply with a grin and pick up the pace. "Just wait, I'll catch up in no time!" I say confidently. In the distance we see the bus approaching, raising our hopes. But just as we're about to reach it, the driver abruptly closes the doors and drives off. Anaïs sighs in disappointment and says, "Well, great." I stroke my hair in frustration. Stupid bus driver! In an attempt to make things better, I suggest we go to the snack bar at the corner. Anaïs is not immediately enthusiastic about the idea. "Maar allé, that will make us stronger. So next time we will catch that bus," I try to persuade her. Anaïs raises an amused eyebrow, sceptical of my argument. "Oh, really?" she asks in a teasing tone. "Absolutely!" I assure her, determined to turn the situation around. Smiling, Anaïs finally agrees: "OK, let's try it."
Saturday October 28, 00:36
Anaïs and I are sitting at the snack bar, enjoying our Belgian fries with a frikandel and a cold Coke. We realise that it is already late, as we are the only customers in the snack bar. Still, the oily smell of the fries and the music in the snack bar provide the perfect background for an informal chat.
"Fuck, this is so delicious!" I say to Anaïs as I joyfully eat a fry. Anaïs smiles and says "Enjoy it, because we still have an hour to walk," I let out a deep sigh, "That bus driver definitely saw us. What an asshole." Anaïs nods in agreement. Looking at her, I notice something. Anaïs still has her make-up on, while I am convinced that she does not wear it in front of her parents. As I stare at her, I see that Anaïs is a little uncomfortable with my staring. She asks what is going on. "Don't you have to take it off?", I ask directly. Not knowing exactly what I mean, she asks for more clarity, "What do you mean?". "You put on your make-up on the bus to school and hardly wear anything at home," I explain. Anaïs looks away. "What's the matter? Daddy can't know that his daughter wears purple eyeliner?" I ask, sensing the truth. Anaïs seems a little irritated by my question. She sighs. "'Drop it," she says, looking down at her plate. "Is this your way of rebelling? Cute," I continue, grinning. "At least it doesn't bother anyone," Anaïs replies, turning to me, clearly implying that she finds my form of rebellion annoying. Once again she silences me. I laugh and continue to eat.
All of a sudden, the shopkeeper of the snack bar approaches me. With a sly grin on his face, he interrupts our small talk and asks "Would you like one of mine?". Not quite understanding exactly what he wants to achieve, I ask "Excuse me?" "Or come with me to my dorm for another one. My shift is almost over," he continues. My discomfort grows. Before answering, I exchange an uncomfortable look with Anaïs. Full of disbelief, I reject him, "Uhm. No. No." "Come on, just one," he tries to insist. "Uhm, I... No, thank you," I clarify as I nod 'no'. I feel a lump in my throat at the way this man is trying to insist. Disgusting. Luckily, he takes the hint, "Okay. You guys are going to pay then? Because we are about to close," he says. I can't resist replying teasingly, "Right away. Just one more sausage," as I wink and take a bite of my frikandel. The man is irritated by my answer and calls me a bitch. Full of disbelief, I look at Anaïs, "What the fuck?!". I notice that Anaïs is feeling very uncomfortable now. A short distance away, the bartender and his colleague are laughing at us. I can't let this go on and decide to do something about it. Enough. I turn to Anaïs and say with a mischievous grin, "Come on, run." "What?" Anaïs asks, not really understanding what I am trying to say. "Yes. Run. Come on. Now," I clarify as I grab her hand and pull her along out of the snack bar. "But we haven't paid yet!", she says confused. This girl really is too good for the world.
Without warning, we run hand-in-hand out of the snack bar. In the distance, we can hear the owners calling after us; "Hey, stop!", but we are already too far away. They can't catch up with us. We hurry to the South Park as fast as we can. Although Anaïs seems a bit frightened by this sudden turn of events, I can also see her secretly enjoying herself. Once we arrive at the park, I shout loudly "Fucking asshole" at the shopkeeper once more, although I don't think there is any chance he will hear this.
Completely out of breath, we laugh our heads off. "Their fries weren't even that good!", Anaïs blurts out. "I hope he chokes on his oil," I giggle. "Thanks, bitch," Anaïs says teasingly. "You're welcome, stresskip," I say as I wrap my arms around Anaïs in a tight hug. In that moment, something changes.
The physical contact unleashes a mix of emotions that I had not expected and that I have never felt so intensely before. A warmth spreads through me, and I feel my heart skip a beat. This embrace feels like something more than a friendly hug. When we let go, there is a moment of intense gazing. I can no longer ignore it, I am falling in love with Anaïs.
"This way?" I ask for confirmation of the direction we should take, pointing to the side behind me. Anaïs nods. Under the soft glow of the streetlights, Anaïs and I walk home, side by side.
Anaïs was right; it's an hour's walk, but it's filled with shared smiles and easy conversation. The echo of our voices and laughter fills the streets of Antwerp. When we reach Anaïs' house, I give her a playful nudge. With a mischievous twinkle in my eye I say, "It was a nice evening, stresskip" Anaïs raises her eyebrows in amusement, probably realising that this nickname will stick. "Indeed! Text me when you get home, okay? Bitch..." Anaïs replies with a wink at the end. "Sure!" I say as I continue walking towards home, completely lost in my thoughts. My heart dances at the memories of the moments I shared with Anaïs. I know it sounds cliché, but really I think I've deeply fallen in love.
Sunday October 29, 17:04
On this sunny Sunday, Megane and I went for a relaxing walk around the city. We're taking a delightful break at our favourite coffee bar, enjoying a refreshing mint tea and a delicious apple pie. Amidst the casual chatter, the tranquillity is interrupted by the soft buzz of my phone, announcing a text message from Hanne. My face lights up when I see an invitation to Hanne's birthday party at Anaïs' house next week.
Megane, my always perceptive redheaded friend, doesn't miss the change in my mood. "Okay, spill it," she urges, her curious gaze fixed on me. "You've been on cloud nine lately. What's going on?" I've only known Megane for two months, since the beginning of the school year, but it's impressive how well she knows me already. Unable to contain my growing excitement, I take a deep breath and confess: "Well, you know Anaïs, right? Noah and Finn's friend? I've been getting to know her and I think... I think I might be falling in love with her."
Megane's eyes widen and a smile of excitement spreads across her face. "No way! Anaïs? So that's why you've been spending so much time with that group of friends lately... Spill the details, Bobbie!" I eagerly tell the story of our recent encounters, highlighting the developing bond between Anaïs and me. I describe the teasing that seemed to be turning into flirting and the comforting embrace we shared last night, the moment I realised that Anaïs wasn't just a crush. Megane listens intently, occasionally chiming in with supportive comments or playful teasing.
After I've poured out my feelings, Megane chuckles and says, "Well, it's about time, isn't it? You deserve to be happy, Bobbie. Are you going to the party?" I nod and reply, "Absolutely. I can't wait to see Anaïs and spend more time with her. It feels different, you know? Like it could be something special."
Sunday October 29, 18:44
As I walk through the front door of my house after my walk with Megane, the tension in the house hits immediately. The remnants of Friday's argument still linger, and my mother's lingering frustration is palpable. Knowing that my mother will be leaving the next day with Samuel for a mid-week trip, I take a deep breath and decide to make an attempt at reconciliation. Entering the living room where my mum is, I hesitate before speaking. "Hey, Mum, can we talk for a minute?" My mum looks up from her book. There is still a trace of irritation on her face. I continue, "I know I made a mistake, again. And I promise I won't do it again, I won't steal again. I just really don't want us to part on bad terms before your trip with Samuel." My mother's eyes soften as she listens. She nods, "I appreciate your honesty, darling. I'm glad you realise you were wrong. It takes courage to admit mistakes and learn from them. I'm glad you did."
My mum comes over and gives me a big hug. "Are you going to be all right this week? Is there anything else I need to get for you?" she asks worriedly. "No, I will be fine, thank you. Besides, Hanne invited me to celebrate her birthday at Anaïs' house this week. It will be a sleepover. Is it all right if I stay with Anais from Monday to Thursday? I promise I'll be responsible," I seize the moment to ask the question. My mother considers for a moment before agreeing, "OK, you can go. Just keep me informed and behave responsibly. Luckily, I know Anaïs is a good girl, a good influence, that reassures me." I nod gratefully, relieved that my mother is giving me another chance. My relationship with my mother has always been unbalanced, lacking the deep connection I effortlessly shared with my father. Even after his death, our emotional bond remained elusive. Dealing with the loss and her quick return to dating left me deeply wounded and drove me to seek comfort in alcohol and weed, the beginning of a miserable chapter, but a necessary outlet to temporarily distract me from the pain.
Monday October 30, 19:01
Before I approach the doorbell, I take a deep breath of the fresh evening air. Although I am very much looking forward to the sleepover, I still feel a healthy sense of nervous tension. I don't have much time to think, as Otis, Hanne and Noah arrive right behind me. We greet each other politely and share our excitement about the upcoming Halloween birthday party before ringing the doorbell. A melodious beep sounds, followed by Anaïs' familiar voice inviting us to come upstairs, "Come up here," she says.
We climb the stairs, navigating the narrow turns with our hands full of sleeping bags and pillows. When we get upstairs, I immediately put my sleeping equipment aside in the hallway. I will come and get this when I need it. Otis and Hanne seem to be sharing the same mindset and imitate this action. As we walk through to the living room, Hanne puts on her Scream mask, "Wazzaaaaa," she says in a scary tone. Someone is clearly in a great mood for Halloween. "You know it's not Halloween until tomorrow?" asks Noah teasingly. "How? But then why do you look like a creep already?" Hanne snaps back.
I instantly walk to the chair next to the sofa. Observing the group, I settle down comfortably. As Hanne and Otis have a discussion about healthy snacks, I see Anaïs nervously grab a notebook. "OK, guys, we're going to go over some things first," Anaïs says nervously. I try to listen attentively. However, Anaïs is quickly interrupted by Hanne who is more interested in the giant Bleutooth speaker in the room. Anaïs takes very little notice and continues, "Rule number one: stay away from the pretty crockery. My father would freak out if -" This time she is interrupted by Noah who wants to order some pizza.
I see the panic in Anaïs' eyes when she realises that Noah, Hanne and Otis are making no effort to listen to what she has to say. I try to save the situation and ask about the first rule "Wait a minute, your mother took all the cutlery but not the crockery?", referring to our conversation last week. "Heirloom," she explains. "Okay, so not the pretty crockery. What else?" I ask out of interest. Anaïs smiles, clearly grateful for the interest. She seems to consider her answer for a while, but finally decides to stick to, "Just not Project X." I smile at her and nod affirmatively.
By this time, Hanne and Otis have clearly figured out how the Bluetooth speaker works, because suddenly the sound waves reverberate throughout the room. Otis is so excited that he immediately breaks into a solo dance.
Noah mentions that the pizza will be here in 30 minutes. But Hanne doesn't want to wait for the pizza, "But we're not going to wait for that," she says as she takes her bag full of beers, "Here we go! And non-alcoholic for you, Noah". Everyone takes a beer. As Hanne continues, "A toast to Anaïs, because without you my birthday would be as sad as November 1st sounds. Cheers!" I look Anaïs straight in the eye during Hanne's little speech. As we toast, I give Anaïs a flirtatious wink. She smiles and looks shyly down. Otis spontaneously starts dancing again, attracting everyone's attention, but I personally can't give my attention to anyone other than Anaïs.
Monday October 30, 19:56
We're gathered around the coffee table on the floor, absorbed in a lively game, when suddenly the doorbell rings. It must be Ada and Mila. Anaïs gets up and heads towards the door to welcome them. "Without liquor, this game sucks anyway," Hanne expresses her disappointment. However, as she gazes absentmindedly ahead, she spots Anaïs' father's collection of alcohol. "On the other hand... What do I see over there?" she remarks, getting up to explore the possibilities. "Oh, this one's good!" Hanne exclaims as she grabs a bottle of gin. I cautiously ask, "Should we really be doing this?", Noah echoes Anaïs' warning, "Anaïs said no strong drinks" Ignoring the caution, Hanne pours three shots of gin. "All right, cheers!" she declares. We raise our glasses and down the shots in one go. At that very moment, Anaïs enters the room. "Seriously?!" she exclaims. "Yeah, I told them, but... too late," Noah responds. "You guys are already screwing it up?" Anaïs says disappointedly.
Monday October 30, 20:32
While Hanne tries to save the gin in the kitchen, Anaïs warns, "Tomorrow, at the party, you guys aren't touching that." To calm Anaïs down, Hanne pours water into the gin, saying, "Relax! Tomorrow will be totally fine. And Samuele will never know, so it will all be fine."
Curious, Noah asks, "And where did you get this from?" referring to the trick of adding water to the gin. "TikTok. Real life hacks," Hanne explains proudly. "Or the cause of a lost generation," Noah replies judgmentally. "That you're a part of," I defend. Noah clarifies himself, "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against alcohol, but... liquor when you're underage?"
Mila enters the kitchen. "You had to pee again?" Hanne teases. "Are you okay?" Ada adds with concern. "I don't know, my stomach hurts a lot," Mila confesses. "I mean, why don't you try some more cold pizza..." Hanne jokes, implying the food might be the issue. "No, guys, I'm serious. It's one of the symptoms of chlamydia," Mila reveals fearfully. "Or a UTI? Have you been taking your pills?", Hanne asks. Mila nods affirmatively. "Well then, just be patient. It'll be fine," Hanne reassures. "Don't get too anxious, okay?" Anaïs tries to calm Mila. While Anaïs and Ada console Mila, Hanne tastes the gin and exclaims, "Fuck... weak gin." Anaïs overhears and gets angry, "Fuck eh! I told you! My dad's going to be so pissed. I mean, the party's off." Everyone reacts in shock. "Hello, what about my birthday?" Hanne asks. "What about my dad?!" Anaïs replies. Realising that the situation is escalating, I intervene, "Come on, we will take care of the alcohol, and you: stick to the rules." I ask Anaïs and Hanne respectively for confirmation. Although Anaïs is clearly angry with Hanne, she reluctantly agrees. I suggest we go to the night store together to fix the situation.
Monday October 30, 21:02
Neon lights flicker above the entrance of the night shop as Anaïs and I slip inside. The shelves are lined with colorful liquor bottles, and our mission is clear: To secure the right bottle of gin so that Anaïs' father doesn't realize we've touched his stash.
Anaïs' eyes widen as she picks up her father's favourite gin. I go over to see what was going on. I quickly notice the price tag and feel my stomach do a somersault. "70 euros! Wow, your dad has expensive taste," I exclaim. Anaïs sighs, "Yes, too expensive". Anaïs panics as she taps her fingers on the label of the bottle, "We can't afford this at all," she continues. "We could look for something cheaper and pour it into your father's original bottle," I suggest.
Anaïs seems to understand that this is the only solution, she nods in agreement. "Since we're already here, shall we also grab some extra chips?" I suggest. I have an idea, but I need to be separated from Anaïs for a moment. She agrees, and I suggest, "I'll look for a cheaper bottle of gin while you look for the chips." Anaïs agrees and heads down the aisle towards the chip racks. While Anaïs selects the chips, I take another good look at the expensive gin. My mind is filled with conflicting thoughts. I just promised my mom not to steal again, and I meant it. But seeing the concern on Anaïs' face, I can't just leave it like this. I can't let her down. I need to fix this. Besides, it is also handy to have a backup for in case we don't get out of here with a bottle of gin because we are under 18.
I look around discreetly to make sure no-one is watching. The coast seems clear. My heart pounds in my chest as I quickly tuck the bottle into the inside pocket of my jacket. I can't afford to be caught, not again. The bottle has a security tag that I need to shield, or the alarm at the exit will go off. I search for a box of aluminium foil and find it at the bottom of a shelf. I pretend to tie my shoe while I discreetly wrap a piece of aluminium foil around the security tag. When I'm done, I stand up, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. I choose a cheaper bottle of gin and casually walk towards Anaïs with both the cheaper bottle of gin and the box of aluminium foil in my hands.
"Found everything you need?" I ask as I approach Anaïs. I try to appear as confident as possible because I can see the stress on Anaïs' face. "They're never going to believe we're 18," Anaïs says in panic. I laugh, "Chill, it's never been an issue before," I say, trying to reassure her. In the distance, I hear the store bell ring, a new customer, perfect! I turn to the cashier and start to walk in that direction. However, Anaïs stops me by gently pulling me back by my arm. "You've done this before?" she inquires about my last statement. I grin at Anaïs but I don't answer the question. She doesn't need to know, at least not for now.
We head to the counter with our gin, chips, and the opened box of aluminium foil. As expected, the cashier asks for my ID when he sees the bottle of gin. Hiding my nervousness, I reply, "Ah, fuck. I left it in my car. Uhm... I could show you my ItsMe?" The shopkeeper nods in agreement and starts scanning the items. In the meantime, I take all the time I need to scroll through my phone. I interrupt my scrolling to mention that I'm not going to take the opened box of aluminium foil after all, "Someone's already opened this... you can take it off the bill." The cashier puts the box aside. In my peripheral vision, I see another customer approaching the counter. Exactly what I want.
The cashier starts sighing due to the delay. "Uhm, just one second. Is your internet working?" I ask Anaïs, indicating that I'm still trying to access ItsMe. "Uhm, yeah," Anaïs replies confused. Meanwhile, the other customer has joined the queue, and the cashier is getting impatient, "Okay, never mind. It's fine. That'll be €30.5, please," he says. Yes! It worked! I quickly grab my bank card before he changes his mind. When I hear the beep, I say with satisfaction, "There we go." The shopkeeper thanks us as I cheerfully and as quickly as possible leave the store, saying, "Okay, bye!"
Relieved, we both walk away from the night shop. "Jesus," Anaïs says, as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. I chuckle, "I told you, didn't I?" "It's still not the right one," Anaïs emphasizes once again. I knew she wouldn't be able to let this go! I frown my eyebrows, looking at the cheap gin, "Do you have any idea how expensive your dad's bottle was? We'll just mix in this one," I say to keep Anaïs in suspense for a few more seconds. I stop walking and ask Anaïs to hold the bottle of gin for a moment. I open my jacket and... "Surprise!", I yell. Anaïs looks at me with a mix of joy and indignation. "What the fuck?! You stole that?" she asks. I look at the bottle and reply, "For personal use." "What about the security tag?" Anaïs wonders. Revealing the answer, I ask, "Tell me, do you have a chisel at home?", as I walk further.
Tuesday October 31, 20:42
The living room of Anaïs house is full of Halloween decorations for Hanne's birthday party. Spider webs decorate the corners of the room, the walls are full of spiders, skeletons and handprints and scary skulls dangle from the ceiling. In the background, a Halloween playlist provides the perfect spooky the kitchen, Anaïs and I prepare some snacks and shots to get the evening off to a good start. I fill Anaïs' father's bottle with the newly bought gin to about the same level it was before Hanne, Otis and I had our shots. I then return Anaïs' father's bottle to his liquor shelf.
"You know Noah won't like this, right?", Anaïs warns me, referring to the robbery, as I prepare a tray of shot glasses with the leftover gin from the newly opened bottle. "Noah should chill out. Just because he doesn't drink doesn't mean he's a saint," I defend myself as I place some pieces of lime on the tray with the shot glasses. Anaïs does not react further and proudly walks towards the group of friends with her tray of sausage rolls, "Tadaaa," she says as she shows the tray to the group. "Wow. Nothing screams Halloween like dead animal covered in dough," Otis says in an ironically enthusiastic tone. "Well, there goes the mood..." Ada says slightly uncomfortable by Otis's reaction. "Better?" I approache with the tray of gin. "Ohhh, where did that come from?" says Hanne excitedly. "The store," I reply quickly. "How did you get out with that?" asks Noah doubtfully. "Natural charm," I reply with a grin on my face. "Charm or did you steal it?" Mila asks when she sees the bottle security in the bin and picks it up. "What the fuck, are you insane?" says Noah immediately in frustration. "Chill out," I try to calm him down. "Chill out? You stole something," he continues angrily. "It was a back up for if that guy asked for my ID," I try to explain. "He should've asked for it," Noah responds in frustration. "What's your problem?" I ask while nodding. What a drama. "This shit's messing with your head," Noah tries to explain. I sigh, this is hopeless. "Come on, just because you don't drink doesn't mean you're a saint," Anaïs suddenly defends me. I stare at her, surprised but pleased. She does it well, talking her way through, really sexy. Not to mention her Catwoman outfit tonight. How good she looks again!
The group, including Noah, doesn't know what to answer but the silence is broken soon when a group of three youngsters, dressed as the main characters from the Harry Potter films, enter the house. When they greet us, Anaïs asks, "Uhm, and you are?" Harry, Ron and Hermione they reply. We burst out laughing. Only Anaïs doesn't manage to laugh, "Who are they?" she asks Hanne. "You said we could invite some people," Hanne explains. "Do you even know them?" asks Anaïs next. "Uhm... vaguely?" Hanne replies after a slightly too long pause for thought. Anaïs sighs deeply. Less than a minute later, the doorbell rings again and Otis says it must be his friends. With a "What the fuck," Anaïs indicates that she doesn't like this very much. I decide to take it upon myself to make sure that everything runs smoothly here.
Wednesday November 1, 00:00
The clock strikes midnight and the room erupts into a cacophony of cheers and laughter as we count down the seconds to Hanne's birthday. "Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" we all shout in unison. The room is filled with the warmth of excitement and anticipation. After the countdown, a collective "Happy Birthday" to Hanne echoes around the room. As other guests throw confetti into the air, Hanna, Otis, Noah, Ada, Mila and I share a group hug. Red cups filled with various drinks are raised and the smell of freshly popped popcorn mingles throughout the room. The atmosphere is full of celebration and I cannot help but join in. However, in the middle of all this, I see Anaïs standing a little apart, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. She looks around the room worriedly. I excuse myself from the circle of friends and walk over to her.
"Are you all right?" I ask worriedly. Anaïs looks at me with anxiety and raises her eyebrows. "What could go wrong?" I continue. Just then, we hear the sound of broken glass coming from the kitchen. "I'll go and have a look," I say, showing her that she is not alone in this.
I head for the kitchen, drawn by the sound that has momentarily disrupted the party. Checking the room, I see a broken bottle of beer on the floor. Next to the bottle two boys are standing pretty tipsy. Clearly, they knocked the bottle over out of drunkenness. "Hey, clean it up eh!," I say as I push a dish towel against one of the boys' chests. The boys nod and pick up the broken pieces, wiping the beer off the floor. I chuckle as I watch them in their state. It's quite funny, to be honest.
Back in the living room, I see Anaïs standing on the balcony with uncomfortable body language. As I approach, it quickly becomes clear that she is being harassed by a persistent man. My anger flares and I quickly intervene. "Dude, get out of here," I say as I slap his hand away from Anaïs. "I just wanted to..." the boys tries to explain himself. However, I don't feel like listening to his pathetic talk and interrupt, "Get out? Because you're not really an added value here. Come here, leave," I say as I tear at his T-shirt to show him the way to the door.
After directing the annoying man outside, I find Anaïs defeated and irritated at the foot of the stairs. Determined not to leave her alone, I suggest we escape the chaos and have a drink on the balcony. As we settle into the terrace chairs, the night air provides a welcome coolness. I ask Anaïs if everything is okay, handing her a drink. "Yeah, I just can't believe some people can't accept 'no' for an answer," she says with a sigh. She takes a sip of her drink. "But thanks for stepping in, really, Bobbie," she continues. I smile at her and nod, showing that it's my pleasure. As we continue to chat, Hanne comes over with a camera to capture the moment. I put my arm around Anaïs for the picture. A feeling of warmth enveloped me. I would do anything for this girl.
Wednesday November 1, 10:22
I wake up in Anaïs' house after the sleepover. The first thought that crosses my mind immediately brings me back to reality - it's the 1st of November. That means it's been two years since my father died. The desire to visit him overwhelms me, so I decide to quietly leave the house and head for the Schelde. Carefully, I slip out of bed and make my way downstairs to change quickly. However, Anaïs, alert as always, has noticed my movements. She appears in the doorway. Startled, I exclaim, "Jesus." "Good morning," she says with a gentle smile as she approaches, "where are you going?" she asks as I put on my jacket. "That's private," I reply mysteriously as I grab my weed bag. Anaïs stares at me curiously. She furrows her brow when I don't answer. She doesn't seem to be letting me off that easily. "Do you really want to know?" I ask. She nods eagerly, and I can read a 'Yes, obviously' in her gaze. "Come along then," I say with a small grin as I head towards the door.
"Wait," Anaïs calls out softly, "let me quickly change," she says as she hurries upstairs. Less than two minutes later, she's back downstairs. "Ready?" I ask, opening the door. She nods as she steps through the doorway.
As we walk towards Linkeroever, Anaïs asks what we're going to do, "Where are we heading to, Bobbie?" I try to evade the question, saying, "You'll see." However, Anaïs gently brings up the topic, "Bobbie, it's November 1st... Are we perhaps going to your dad?" I sigh, realising that she has remembered the date. I can't keep it a secret any longer. "Yeah, Anaïs, we're going to visit my dad at the Schelde. He was scattered there," Anaïs nods understandingly and taps me lightly on the shoulder for support. As we continue our walk, the weight of the moment sets in and I appreciate having Anaïs by my side on this sombre day.
Wednesday November 1, 10:56
Sitting on the banks of the Schelde, Anaïs and I look out over the water, the gentle sound of the waves forming a calming backdrop. The melodies of the birds fill the air, but my thoughts can't escape the memories of my father's ashes being scattered here. The emptiness feels heavy, and the longing is profound.
Anaïs gently breaks the silence. "So, your dad was scattered in the Schelde?" she asks for confirmation. I nod. "Uhu," I confirm. "Do you miss him?" she asks empathetically. Looking back at the water, I nod and answer her question, "Yes." Emotions surge through me as I openly admit my sense of loss, and I have to swallow hard to keep my composure. "Dad taught me everything about music," I continue. A warm smile appears on Anaïs' face, "Really?" she asks. I nod, "Beautiful voice," I tell her. "You?" Anaïs asks next. I chuckle softly at the question. "No... no, him," I continue, "I'm better at mixing, but we used to sing together, old songs." "Like The Kreuners or something?" Anaïs asks with a grin on her face. I giggle and shake my head. "No, do you know The Animals?" I see Anaïs thinking, but the name doesn't seem to ring a bell so I decide to sing a snippet. There is a house in New Orleans, they call the Rising Sun. When I look at Anaïs, she's watching with fascination. "Continue singing," she says with a smile because I have stopped. It brings a smile to my face, so I continue. And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy, and God I know I'm one.
After I've finished singing, I think about asking her another question. Something from yesterday that I can't let go of. "Why did you actually defend me against Noah yesterday?" I ask. Anaïs looks thoughtful, "Uh, just," she begins, "I have more credits with him, compared to you," she explains with a grin. I nod in understanding. She has a point. "Thanks," I reply, "I've never seen you so sharp before," I remark aloud, looking her in the eyes. Anaïs raises her eyebrows. "Quite sexy," I continue in a flirtatious tone. A smile appears on Anaïs' face, and that smile gives me a warm feeling that makes the pain of this day a little more bearable.
When the soft buzz of Anaïs' phone interrupts the moment, Anaïs glances at a message from Ada: *Where are you?* Realising that the others are awake and it is time to return, Anaïs turns to me and with a nod we agree to go back to her place. As we rise from the spot by the Schelde, Anaïs opens her arms and leans in for a comforting embrace, a silent reassurance that I'm not alone. After the hug, we gather ourselves to leave. I look at her with a mixture of gratitude and sadness in my eyes.
Thursday November 2, 11:14
After tidying up my sleep gear, I notice a mini keyboard in Anaïs' room. Unable to resist making some music while the others are still packing downstairs, I let soft melodies of "Bella Ciao" resonate throughout the room as my fingers dance over the keys. Lost in the music, I initially didn't notice Anaïs entering the room with a stressful expression on her face. However, when I look up, I see a certain calm wash over her. She seems to enjoy my piano playing and sits down beside me on her bed. I pause for a moment while looking at her. "Why did you stop playing?" she asks. She starts singing the song, and I accompany her on the piano. Una mattina, mi sono alzato, O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao. I giggle, "You know those lyrics?" I ask. "Yes, don't you?" Anaïs asks as if it's obvious to know the lyrics. Without saying another word, we start singing the song together. The familiar lyrics of "Bella Ciao" fills the room with a sense of unity and love for music. When we stop singing, we look at each other, both laughing. I continue playing the song on the piano, feeling Anaïs' eyes fixed on me. When I look back at her, a moment of intense staring occurs. In movies, this moment would be followed by a passionate kiss, but it feels too soon. Although I have to admit, I wouldn't mind. Our moment is quickly interrupted by a message from Anaïs' father: *I'll be home in 10 minutes. X* Anaïs is immediately confronted with reality and rushes downstairs with a, "Oh, fuck!" Recovering from our moment, I watch her until she leaves the room.
Thursday November 2, 14:04
Sitting alone in my room, I reflect on the past few days, overwhelmed by a wave of emotions. A deep feeling of love and gratitude surrounds me, especially for Anaïs, who has been a constant source of support and understanding. Feeling the need to express my gratitude, I decided to send her a heartfelt message of thankfulness. *Thank you for the party and for the water :-)* I write. She quickly replies: *You're welcome ☺️*.
Friday November 3, 18:34
Making beats in my room, I'm feeling the urge to reunite with the group. Without hesitation, I decide to contact Anaïs. I send her a message asking if they're up for meeting tonight: *Are you guys up for a drink tonight?* The anticipation builds as I wait for Anaïs' reply: *Yes, is 20h00 OK for you?* she asks. *We eat quite late here. I can meet at 21h30,* I reply. *That's fine too. Then we'll meet a bit later,* Anaïs replies again. *Perfect!* I reply, smiling. *See you in a bit xx,* Anaïs replies again.
Friday November 3, 21:38
Arriving at Bar Bakeliet at the same time as Anaïs feels like a stroke of luck. We greet each other warmly and enter the lively atmosphere of the bar together. Taking our seats at the bar, we order two beers. Leaning against the bar, we immediately start talking about different things. As we sip our beers, our conversation meanders through subjects such as school, music, our parents' dating lives and even the charm of Bar Bakeliet itself. As we talk, the hum of discussions and the clinking of glasses become mere background noise, and all my attention is focused on Anaïs.
Our little tête-à-tête is suddenly interrupted when Anaïs receives a message. Leaning forward on my hand, I observe Anaïs as she checks her messages. Meanwhile, the barman brings us two new pints, "Thanks," I say to him. In the meantime Anaïs puts her phone away. "Is anyone else coming?" I ask with interest. "Um, no," Anaïs replies, "Everyone had plans or was too tired," she explains. "Boring," I grin. Trying to pick up our conversation again, I inquire, "So, your mom isn't with that guy anymore?" "No," Anaïs sighs, "That was just a fling, but one that messed up her marriage," she says judgmentally. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her beer. "Do you think?" I react, "A fling doesn't ruin a good marriage," I tell her. Anaïs looks at me. "Only one that was already on the rocks," I continue. Our conversation is once again interrupted by a buzz from a phone. This time it's mine. I receive a message from Mila: *It's not chlamydia but a UTI 😀 I'll toast to that with Hanne and Ada, are you coming?*. A spontaneous grin appears on my face. The others in the group had no plans at all. They just weren't invited. Anaïs notices something is up and asks, "What's up?" with a big smile. I share the good news from Mila, "It's not chlamydia but a UTI, and that's treatable, so." Anaïs reacts relieved, "Oh thank god!" she says. "Yeah, but... She's going out to celebrate with Ada and Hanne, who didn't have plans yet, apparently..." I playfully confront her with the new information. Anaïs is left speechless. I burst into laughter, "You're way naughtier than I gave you credit for," I say. Anaïs thinks for a moment and then asks, "Is that a good thing?" I shrug my shoulders and look away from her. I have a hard time hiding my excitement.
Friday November 3, 23:56
As the evening progresses, the once lively bar begins to thin out, with customers leaving for home. Anaïs, however, seems determined to prolong the moment. "Let's grab two more beers," Anaïs suggests as she touches my hand. "If they still serve us," I say as I look towards the barman. Undeterred by the slimming crowd, Anaïs replies with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "But, we're still going to party, right?" She rises from her seat and strolls towards the jukebox.
With my eyes, I follow her path with a sense of curiosity. At the jukebox, she chooses the song 'I'm Gonna Make You Love Me'. The melody fills the room and Anaïs begins a mesmerising dance. The rhythm of the music seems to bring the bar back to life as Anaïs twirls and sways with grace. Fascinated, I watch with a broad smile as she once again crowns herself as the dancing queen of the evening.
As the song unfolds, Anaïs approaches me with a playful smile and invites me to dance along. "No, no, no" I say while giggling, but my attempt to resist is hopeless when she takes my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor with her. I dance along softly while Anaïs sings the lyrics of the song with conviction. Every minute, every hour. I'm gonna shower you with love and affection. Look out it's coming in your direction. And I'm... I'm gonna make you love me. Oh, yes I will. Within myself, I wonder: Is now the time then? Or is it too early for that first kiss? But after all the signs of the last few days, it seems like the perfect time. I gather all my courage and I decide to follow my feelings. At the second 'I'm gonna make you love me', I lean forward to kiss Anaïs. To my surprise, Anaïs is startled by the unexpected turn of events and quickly pulls back from the kiss. We remain face to face for a moment, both confused. She looks away and tells me she urgently needs to go home, "I have to go," she says abruptly. Without waiting for an answer, she quickly leaves the bar, leaving me there, pondering this sudden turn of events. Did I misread the signals? Does she not want me? Or is it too soon? Uncertain and alone, I am left in the bar.