* this chapter contains triggering content so I suggest you read it at your own risk. I'll be listing the trigger warnings down below ; if it makes you uncomfortable you can skip *
* mentions of sexual assault ; drugging ; physical and mental abuse *
Aashna's POV : (age 23 years old ; pursuing her masters)
Arjun. The love of my life. Not anymore.
I didn't know he would turn out to be the biggest regret of my fucking life.
I wanted a love like the movies. The all consuming love that made you forget everything except the one you love. The one for whom you'd give up your family and friends. I was naive. So naive. So fucking vulnerable.
This is my punishment. My karma. For not listening to my family or my friends. For falling in love. For believing in some blindly when I was told not to.
I got out of a toxic relationship a three months ago. I had assumed he was the one. We had been together for 1.5 years. Naturally, I thought what he did to me. The way he scolded me. The way he used me was out of love and adoration.
That is not how love works. Not at all.
He abused me. He used to hit me every time he got drunk and played the victim every time I tried to confront him.
It was a vicious cycle, one I was trapped in and couldn't leave.
I thought he was doing it out of love.
I guess that's how human brain works. You find excuses every time something goes wrong just to stay. To be loved.
Love is supposed to be unconditional right? Not hurt you, not use you the fuck up and toss you around?
What happened with me was wrong and so fucked up but I'm scared. Too scared because he has unsolicited pictures of me that he threatened to post online. Another reason why I forced myself to stay.
I hated myself for every second of it.
The first we had sex it was non-consensual. I was drunk and definitely not in the mood. But he used me anyway. He used me not once but for four rounds. He fucked my mouth, took my virginity when I was too weak to even do something.
After the first time, he kept making me drink on random days. Practically forcing the drinks on me, so that I lose consciousness and that he can use me the way he wants and toss me.
I used to wake up every morning with dried cum on me and cry myself while taking a shower.
One night he got me so drunk that he took pictures while fucking me. He threatened to post them online and show them to my parents. His exact words were, "Do as I say or I will show your parents how well you take my dick."
That was when I realised that this is not right but I ignored it and stayed. I stayed, I found excuses after excuses and stayed. I let myself be used, I let myself be touched in a way I hated, I despised.
I was naive too fucking naive now that I realise it.
Months later when I refused to get drunk because I feared he'd use me again, he shoved the vodka down my throat as I cried because of the burn in my lungs. I got drunk easily.
He took advantage of me again. He kept doing it.
When I revolted, he started hitting me.
He called me names like slut, whore, 'do you open your legs for every fucking male you slut', the whole list.
Sometimes it was just out of provocation because I refused to wear what he asked me to, or refused to do what he asked me to.
It started getting to a point where he would grab my throat and fuck me just because he saw me smiling at my phone. He assumed I was cheating.
Months later I gathered courage to leave but he found out about my plan at the last minute and slapped me so hard that he drew blood out of my lips. The cut was prominent.
Arya saw it, and without uttering a word she understood. She understood. I was embarrassed because of it. I was ready to apologise when she asked me to shut the fuck up. I was scared, I assumed the worse and believed she wanted to leave me. Who wants a vulnerable and beaten up best friend anyway.
She called Anil and they helped me. They helped me to plan my escape from that house. Yes I had moved in with him, because of all the love in my heart for him.
As I said, fucking stupid.
I escaped. I did. I got out of there. I got out before he could do something and moved in with Arya for a while. Until I could find a new house.
He found out. Arjun found me out. He banged on Arya's door at early in the morning. At 7 fucking am, drunk out of his mind. Apologising for hitting me and promising he'd never do it again, but I had realised with time that it was a lie because they never learn. Abusers never learn. Never fucking ever.
I started being strong, I stood up for myself for the first time infront of him. He called me a slut again. Arya had enough and called the police on him. They locked him up. He's in jail now. Apparently he committed a lot of felonies. I hope he rots there.
AGE 25 :
I told my parents about my relationship. My past. Dad was furious. He scolded me, "I told you not to date the scumbag. Why did you do it ? Kyu baat nahi sunti?"
(why don't you listen to me?)
I apologised. I apologised so fucking much. They understood.
My parents have been my biggest rock. They are the reason I'm so strong. Why I'm still here. My dad said he'd pick my husband and if I do find someone he's going to interrogate him 100 times before he accepts him. I nodded and agreed. Dad could be wrong about everything but he won't ever choose someone who would harm me in anyway and I'm grateful.
As for that scumbag? He's still rotting there.
PRESENT DAY :
Aashna's POV :
I have been a strong woman all my life. I've been strong. Hell I don't think I ever cried for anything personal. Never. But I broke down. In front of Aryan of all people. I promised myself I would never let myself be that weak again in front of any man ever. But I did.
And you know the worst part? I didn't feel unsafe. I felt like I was enough. I was cared for.
He hugged me and cooed. He was crouching on the floor holding me in his arms still in the suit he wore to the party. He looked ravishing. He could be with any woman he wanted yet here he was. Holding a cry baby.
A weak woman. A woman good for nothing.
He kept muttering sweet nothings to try to stop me from crying.
But I couldn't. I haven't cried like this in 4 years. I couldn't hold it back.
"Stay still chaand, I'm going to put you to bed," I heard him speak through my crying session. He picked me up bridal style and put me on the bed. He tucked the covers and kissed my forehead in a soothing way.
I didn't want to be alone so I held his hand refusing to let him go.
"Haath choro" He said softly. I nodded my head in negative.
(leave my hand)
"Let me get fresh I'll come cuddle you okay?" He said more softly if that was even possible. I let go. I was scared he wouldn't come back for an ugly cry baby but he did.
10 minutes later he slid in next to me, pulling me towards him. My back was pressed to his chest. He hugged me tightly.
"Nahi jaan na chahte kyu ro rahi thi?" I asked with a heavy voice.
(Do you not wanna know why I was crying?)
"Jab tum bolna chahogi tab bolna, force nahi karunga." He replied lowly.
(You'll tell me when you want to, I won't force you)
I smiled. I fucking smiled. Men like him still exist.
I turned around, put my head on his chest, as he froze, and fell asleep with a smile.
Maybe I would be okay after all.
- hope you like it !! i'll try to be update another chapter by the end of this week !!
happy reading, don't forget to leave votes and comments please 🥹💗