» Realising that you have fallen in love with her
» 1712 words
» minji × fem reader
I wish I could unlearn her, because falling in love with her wasn't a part of my plan. I enjoyed her company. I enjoyed those days when she was by my side as a friend, but I made a mistake. I allowed myself to fall in love with her. She's my friend.
I fell in love with my best friend.
I know I shouldn't have done it, but the moment I realised I have fallen for her, I just had fallen too deep. Too deep for me to survive. Too deep for her to save me. Too deep.. it is just too deep.
Now, I am thinking of the best way to avoid her. Even better, if I can forget about her completely. Erasing and deleting every memory that we had shared together. Maybe, disappear from her life? Going somewhere far away from her side.
Avoiding however caused me to hurt her. I swear, before I mess up, she has the sweetest smile and always puts it on her face. Now, every time I see her, every time our eyes meet, her smile fades. The same goes when she is laughing.
That's why I thought leaving her life completely would be better.
I yearn to erase the memories of her, as my heart wasn't meant to fall for a friend. Those days of shared laughter turned into a tangled mess of emotions, and I find myself desperately seeking a way out of this unrequited love. The depth of my feelings has become overwhelming, threatening to drown me in a sea of emotions too profound to navigate.
As I grapple with the realization that I can't simply undo my emotions, the struggle intensifies. I contemplate distancing myself from her, maybe even vanishing from her world entirely to spare both of us the pain. Yet, the very act of avoidance inflicts wounds upon her, tarnishing the once radiant glow of her smile.
The more I try to escape, the tighter the knots of regret and heartache become. I'm caught between the desire to preserve what's left of our friendship and the unbearable weight of unspoken feelings.
In those moments when our eyes meet, I witness the subtle transformation in her expression - the fading glow of her smile and the muted joy in her laughter. It's a painful spectacle, a consequence of my futile attempts to shield her from the turmoil within me.
Perhaps disappearing from her life was not the solution, but rather a catalyst for more anguish. Now, the dilemma lingers: Should I confront my emotions and risk our friendship, or continue down this path of silent suffering?
Graduation day...
February, 2023
Minji's excitement was palpable as she clutched her graduation certificate, but it quickly turned to concern when she couldn't spot YN in the sea of graduates. Confused, Minji weaved through the dispersing crowd, a mix of joy and worry bubbling up on this significant day.
Desperation fueled Minji's search as she navigated through the bustling crowd of graduates and their families. Her attempts to call YN went unanswered, adding to the growing unease in her chest. With each passing moment, the weight of the situation intensified, over-shadowing the celebratory atmosphere of the graduation ceremony.
Finally spotting a mutual friend, Yoona and Jinsoul, Minji approached with a sense of urgency. "Have you seen YN?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
Yoona and Jinsoul looked at each other, confused too. "I thought she was with you..?" Yoona hesitated. Jinsoul tilted her head and began to look around. "Let's find her." Jinsoul suggests, started to make her way into the crowd.
Yoona and Minji followed Jinsoul and they began their mission to find YN. Their confusion rose when they failed to find the familiar tall figure. Without saying anything, Minji made her way to ask her classmates.
"Hey guys." Minji called, trying to grab their attention. The laughter stopped as they averted their attention to Minji. "Oh, Minji. What's up?" One of them asked.
"Have you seen YN?"
The friend hesitated, then reluctantly admitted, "Yeah, she left a while ago."
Concern etched across Minji's face as she processed the information. Determined to check on YN, she thanked her friend and hurried towards Yoona and Jinsoul, her mind racing with worry for her missing friend on what was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
Minji tells them and all begins to message and call YN.
Minji's excitement faded to worry as she learned YN had left without a clear destination. Panic tightened its grip on her as she checked her phone, hoping for a message from her friend. With each unanswered call and message, Minji's concern grew.
Amidst the anxious search, Haerin, a junior from their school, approached Minji with a bouquet of flowers and a sealed letter. "YN sunbae asked me to give you this," Haerin explained, her eyes reflecting a mix of sympathy and concern.
Minji's hands trembled slightly as she took the bouquet and the letter. Minji thanked the younger girl, excusing herself and began to find a quiet corner.
Opening the envelope, she found YN's familiar handwriting. The letter didn't explain her sudden departure, but something Minji failed to understand.
===============
Your words are like a gentle breeze,
Whispering warmth to my moonlit soul.
In the vast expanse of our cosmic dance,
You, the sun, illuminate my night.
Your light, a beacon of hope,
Guiding me through the celestial tapestry.
Together, we share a dance of radiance,
Your brilliance reflected in my lunar glow.
Yet, as you shine in the day's embrace,
I find solace in the shadows of our space.
Your radiance, both comforting and blinding,
A paradox I embrace with the grace of night.
Though too distant to touch,
Your glow reaches the corners of my orbit.
And so, we exist in this cosmic waltz,
Connected by the unseen threads of our celestial bond.
You, the sun, and I, the moon,
A timeless duet in the cosmic symphony.
I'll cease to be the moon,
No longer tethered to your light.
In the vast expanse, I'll find my own glow,
A solo dance, untethered and free.
No more dependence on your radiant embrace,
I'll forge a path in the cosmic expanse.
To be my own source of light,
Unburdened by the shadows of our celestial dance.
I release the ties that bound us,
Embracing the journey as an independent light.
Adieu, mon soleil.
===============
As Minji read the letter, a mix of emotions swept over her, creating a complex tapestry of feelings that tightened her chest. The words on the paper acted as a portal, transporting Minji back to a time when their friendship was vibrant and full of shared moments.
With each passing sentence, Minji confronted the intricacies of her emotions-perhaps an unexpected yearning for the past or a reflection on the changes that had shaped their divergent paths.
Minji gripped the letter tightly, her hands trembling with a mixture of disbelief and fury. "You liar!" she exclaimed, the weight of betrayal echoing in her voice. Tears escaped her eyes like a sudden pouring rain. Her lips quiver. If YN is in front of her, she wants to swear the words she is holding back right now.
Two years later...
Seoul, 2025
Minji's POV
Two years had slipped away since that graduation day, yet the void left by her unexplained departure lingered like an unresolved chord. I tried to convince myself that time would mend the ache, that life moves on. But every unanswered message, every unreturned call, served as a persistent reminder of the silence that had settled between us.
I went through the post-graduation world, embracing new beginnings, yet an invisible tether kept pulling me back to that moment when she disappeared from my life without a trace. Friends offered words of comfort, telling me to let go, but the ache persisted, a testament to the depth of our shared history.
Acceptance proved elusive as the years unfolded. Birthdays passed, seasons changed, and milestones came and went, yet the absence of her carved a quiet canyon within me. I clung to the hope that someday I would understand, that she would return or at least offer a glimpse into the reasons behind her departure.
As the world moved forward, I remained tethered to the uncertainty, grappling with the bittersweet memories of a friendship interrupted, haunted by the unanswered question of where she had gone and why she chose to leave without a word.
The departure of our once-close friend, she, left us all in a state of disbelief. We couldn't wrap our heads around the fact that she had simply vanished without a word. Our group of friends, once tightly knit, now struggled to make sense of her sudden absence.
Conversations among us were tinged with confusion and a shared sense of loss. We retraced our steps to that graduation day, desperately trying to find any hint or clue that might explain why she chose to leave without letting us know. Each friend shared their last memories of her, hoping to uncover some overlooked detail.
Despite our efforts, the mystery deepened. There were occasional rumors and supposed sightings, but nothing concrete. Her departure became a collective puzzle that we couldn't solve, leaving us with a lingering sadness and a sense of emptiness in our group dynamic. As time passed, the initial disbelief transformed into a shared acknowledgment of the void left by our missing friend.
Seeking solace, I found myself at the park where she and I had once reconciled our friendship. The familiar sights and sounds triggered a flood of memories, each moment replaying like scenes from a bittersweet movie.
I stood near the same bench where we had shared laughter and tears, reminiscing about the day when our bond had strengthened after a moment of vulnerability. The echoes of our voices seemed to linger in the air, a stark contrast to the current silence that enveloped our connection.
As I gazed at the surrounding trees, I couldn't help but recall the whispered promises of everlasting friendship and the warmth of shared secrets. The park, a silent witness to our shared history, held the echoes of a friendship that time had failed to erase.
"I tried to hate you, but I couldn't."
—
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