─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Ray Mond woke up a little bit late than usual, the gworls went to a Wu Chang concert last night and stayed up drinking
These past few months had been fun for her, she wore her fake smile everyday and sometimes she can forget that it's a lie, sometimes she truly enjoyed her time with friends.
There's this one thing that April had been constantly talking about this ever since she came back. She believes that Ray needs to come back to her game. There's a ton of people in this city and April truly believes that there's at least a dozen of them that's interested in her.
No one in the family had dared to tell her to 'move on' from him. But what's April's asking now is just she wants her to go have fun and try to go back to her old self. Playing with people's hearts, stun locked them in seconds, scamming them. Maybe it would make her feel more alive.
She took her advice.
Tommy, Benji, Raymond, Zaceed, even the Clowns, and lots of randoms that she doesn't even remembered their name. She had lost count- she doesn't fucking care at all to be honest. No one can even come close and she definitely does not have the intention of replacing- moving on- forgetting- NO.
Was it the trauma? Well, it most likely is.
She didn't care-
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
That evening, K asked Ray if she had any materials to sell and fortunately Zaceed just dropped off 5 barrels worth of them. She was just done collecting the materials when K called her to the southside house. She took everything she just got and called max for a drop off.
"Thanks Max! You don't need to wait, I'm gonna stay here for a while, I'll give you a call when I need the ride back" She said when they arrived there.
"Anything for my gworl! See you later Ray!" He honked and left.
"RAYYCHEEEEL MICHELLEEE MOONND" She was just closing the Door behind her when she heard Taco calling- no, yelling out her name. Her full government name. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and pulled her machete out.
"Taco I swear to God, I'm going to fucking KILL you this time" She ran full speed into the house only to find Taco was already up and running away from her. She just arrived at this place and yet she's already playing cat and mouse around the house.
The house filled with curses from Ray and pleading from Taco for a few minutes before Taco kneeled at the floor praying for her forgiveness. They both decided it was enough cardio of the day and Taco threw himself at the couch. It was then where Ray finally realized that she hasn't said Hi to anyone since she came here. She didn't even paid attention to who was there.
"Oh yeah- hi guys, what are you boys up to?" She waved her hello to them.
They were all at the basement hanging out, she was decently surprised to see that a lot of them were there. Obviously K, Taco and peanut were there, but she didn't expect to see Ramee who's been very busy trying to be a lawyer, Chodie who's always doing weed runs and also Tommy in there. For some reason, she and Tommy rarely see each other in CG; it feels like they're on a very different schedule and very different jobs. The last time she remembered talking to him was a few weeks ago when he finally told her the story of what happened to the Mandem and how he ended up being in CG. The CG that he trash talked to her years ago. She always laughed whenever she remembered that small detail.
"Not much, Ramee was just telling his crazy client story" Chodie said while signaling to her to sit on the empty couch beside him.
"You know Ramee, sometimes I still couldn't believe that you're for real gonna be a lawyer" It was a genuine feeling of hers but Ray said it with a mocking tone on purpose knowing that Ramee would take it the wrong way.
"HUH? The fuck you mean by that, what? Are you saying that I'm not smart enough?" Ramee took the bait and spat back to her. Ray smirked knowing that she started another argument.
"Well, technically you said it yourself not me" She shrugged her shoulders. Just like that she started a what to be 20 minutes bickering between the two with Taco somehow got dragged into it without saying a word prior.
"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T SPIT WHEN I TALK-!!" Ray barked back at Ramee, he faked a shocking gasp like it was the first time he heard about it.
At the end K who was secretly fueling the fire needed to stop the bickering before it gets more and more out of topic.
"Just admit your defeat Ramee" K said, knowing damn well both Ray and Taco already destroyed him.
"Whatever! I don't care about you fucker's opinion anyway! Don't you dare fucking call me if you ended up in trial, the TWO of you! Blacklisted!" Ramee yelled at them full of pettiness
"Aww Taco, look! wittle wamee is maaad, it's okay wamee, we were only kidding! sorry that we hurt your feewings okay?" Ray mocked him even more with her baby talk which lead to Taco, Chodie, and K laughing at him.
"Hmph- it's fine Wae- just don't ever hurt my feewings again!" Ramee gave up at the end because his and Ray's 'baby talk' is always one of his weaknesses. It's funny for him too.
Ray, having just 'won' the argument, finally laughed out loud. Bickering was and always will be her favorite thing to do with her boys, they know how to take it well and never push it too much. Ray glanced at the other corner of the room where Tommy was sitting, he was there the whole time but didn't say a word and only let out a few chuckles here and there.
"Tommy, you okay over there?" Ray thought she was the one who said it but it seemed like Taco had already read her mind. Tommy immediately looked at their direction, he seemed a little taken back maybe wasn't expecting to be called
"Yeah- yeah- I'm just observing the dynamic between you guys." He said. Ray raised her eyebrows in confusion 'was it really something worth observing?' she thought to herself.
"It must be Ray, right? Is she making you uncomfortable? I can kick her out?" Peanut said jokingly. Surprised with what she heard, Ray glared her eyes at him and he laughed at her.
"Nooo- it's not that. I just didn't know that she's this.. What's the word? Chaotic?" Tommy said with a serious expression on his face.
Immediately after hearing Tommy's words, Ramee and Taco started laughing hysterically with tears falling from their eyes, Chodie was left shocked with his mouth open, and K just shooked his head in disbelief.
"I thought you two had a thing going on back then!" Taco said, which made Tommy even more confused. He glanced at Ray, she was facepalming her face with both of her hands. Looks like they were all baffled by his statement.
"You're WRONG. It's not 'chaotic' She's crazy! This girl is a fucking lunatic!" Taco tried to explain between his laughter.
"I warned you back then Tommy, she's insane! She won't hesitate stabbing you for a second" Chodie added, remembering that he had told him this before.
"There's this one time where April and I were arguing a lot and she told Ray about it- you know what she did? She 'poked' me with her sharp-ass shank every morning! I would be waking up and then BOOM! A trip to the hospital! She had long lost her mind. There's no saving this one- that's why they're the lunatics duo becaus-'' Ramee instantly shut his mouth when he realized where his blabbering is taking. He glanced a little at Ray to see that she's smiling at him.
"So Ray, Where's my materials?" K broke the growing silence between them. Ray stood up and went to talk with K about the materials.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The night continues on and more conversation topics arouse. Tommy wasn't talking that much but it was more than when she just arrived there. Ray had been analyzing the way his expression changed so drastically when Ramee almost said his name, his face looks like he had something to say but choosing not to. Tommy had always been hard for her to read, she's not April Fooze afterall.
Ray looked at her phone and it was only 9PM, she still had 1-2 hours to spare so she decided to stay and hang with them but it seemed like not everyone had the time to hangout. K and Taco were the first one to dip followed by Ramee and lastly Peanut who lived there but was too tired so he went back to his room leaving Tommy and Ray as the last two people there.
Ray didn't mind it, she was having fun conversation and she'll take any company rather than being alone in His room. Tommy on the other hand still had that look on his face and it's beginning to bother her. They were talking about her friend Gigi who's apparently close with this guy named SK, Tommy was telling her about how SK was the one who replaced him and also shot him in Mandem.
Ray had lost her focus for a few minutes now, she was contemplating in her head whether or not she should ask him about it. She decided that she must.
"Tommy- I'm sorry but I need to cut you right here" She told him. Tommy raised one eyebrow, the look of confusion plastered on his face
"Uhh- is there something you need to say" he asked. Ray squinted her eyes trying to read his mind once again
"Do YOU have something to say? It's just your expression- they're giving this certain look, it feels like you have something you wanted to say since earlier but I can't put my fingers on it, you're a mysterious guy after all" Her words brought Tommy back to a few years ago, he remembered it like it was just yesterday. That day, they sat in his black R8 in some random parking lot. She had also said that word. Mysterious. It was funny to him that she thought about him that way. Was he trying to play games? Yes. He was being toxic and annoying, he tried to play all the girls without wanting to face the consequences. Did he regret his action? Yes.
"I- I actually do. Can I ask you a question?" He wasn't planning any of this to happen tonight- in a few years? Maybe. But definitely not tonight.
"Sure! Why can't you?"She instantly answered. The curiosity started to eat her.
"This might be a sensitive topic- you know? Just making sure" Tommy sat up straight fixing his posture. He looked at her eyes only to find a slight hesitancy in them. He wouldn't do it if she said No but if she said yes- he won't care if it's gonna hurt her.
"Oo-oh.. Yeah- it's fine" Once again Ray gave him the confirmation. The two made and maintained eye contact, Tommy took a deep breath before saying his sentence.
"I'm curious- were you and Randy ever Official?" He stared at her, trying to find whatever her eyes were giving and trying to see if it's gonna match her words or not
"Official? What does that even mean?" She knew what he meant. She was just buying time trying to arrange her answer
"Like- actually dating- you know what I mean" He explained further
"We- No. We never 'officially' dated if it's what you want to know Tommy. There was never that label on us. But-" Ray stopped the words spilling from her mouth, she hesitated a little bit before she thought to herself 'It's in the past- I don't need to keep it a secret'.
"But?" Tommy gambled his luck once again
"But we were so much more than that, Tommy. We weren't like You and Lana or Curtis and Penny or whoever else it is. Randy and I-" Ray stopped once again. She surprised herself by saying his name out loud. It's been one of the most difficult things to do for her. Casually mentioning his name in conversation with other people. Tommy saw how she was taken back but he waited for her to continue not wanting to pressure her into something she's not comfortable at
"Randy Bullet and I are soulmates. I've said this a million times already but he's my favorite person in this whole damn universe. He's my day one, my mentor, my best friend, We were like Bonnie and Clyde. We didn't need that dating label to do what we wanted to do. We did everything we wanted, we kept it between ourselves because at the end of the day, I don't fucking care about what anyone else is saying, I care about him and what he wanted and so does he. He's forever my Ride or Die" Ray smiled at the end, she didn't notice how teary her eyes already got and if she continued even more she might start sobbing.
"I see- is that why you're dying?" Tommy asked.
"Is it that noticeable?" Ray chuckled at his question, she never thought people see it so clearly.
"I feel like you've been slowly dying ever since that day" He explained.
"Like I said. He's my ride or die, If we don't ride together.. We die" Ray ended the conversation there.
Tommy got his answer and Ray got hers too.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
It was already late and she then told him that it was time for her to go back to the Cubby. She was already calling Max but Tommy insisted that he'll take her home instead, saying that he needed to go there anyway. Ray was skeptical about it but she trusted him well enough to know that he's only doing this for her.
The car ride on their way back to the Cubby was quiet. Ray was already exhausted for the day and the unexpected talk with Tommy drained her even more. The two of them sat inside the car in silence, Tommy didn't even turn the radio or AC on he pulled down the window and the only sound there were his car's engine and the wind blowing from his window. He took a few glances here and there to see the girl sitting beside him. The familiarity killed him from the inside. It's the same person sitting there years before but somehow he felt so many different things than before. What is this feeling? He kept the thought inside his mind.
"Alright, here we are. Good night miss Ray, good talk with you tonight" Tommy said as he parked his car on the side of Little Seoul.
"Didn't you say you have stuff to do here?" Ray hopped off the car while asking him. She knew it was a lie, she could hear his chuckle inside the car and decided to ignore it. On her back, she heard the driver side door swung open.
"Anyway, I have one more thing to say. Can I have one more minute?" Tommy got out of his car and stood in front of her. She raised one eyebrow in curiosity, not saying anything but a clear sign for him to continue.
"I'm being selfish here but if I ask you to give me a chance would you give me one chance? Please let me help you. I have no intention of- replacing him. I just can't see you like this" He can see her pupil widen in response to what he just said. 'Fuck- did I just messed up?' he cursed himself in his head.
One- two- three- four- five- the silence between them was killing him, he was ready to run away right then and there. But- he saw the looks of her face changed, her eyes softened and she curved her lips upwards giving him a little smile.
"They reaaally meant it when they say keep it in the family huh?" She joked. He wasn't expecting that answer. Out of the one hundred ways she could reject him- he definitely wasn't expecting that one. Was it really a rejection though? He thought to himself. He still couldn't grasp the situation that he was in but Ray shocked him even more, the girl took one step forward erasing space between them.
"I'll see you around Tommy T" Ray put her right hand on the top of his head, stroking his hair softly. It was one of those days that he didn't wear a hat. She shifted her hand to his shoulder before making eye contact with him. He was already frozen from the second she took that one step forward. She smiled at him and suddenly he felt like he was melting. He had seen her smile countless times but seeing it a few centimeters from his eyes was a different kind of experience.
'Still a puppy' She whispered under her breath but loud enough for him to hear and swiftly turned her body, walked to the gate and left him there.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Ray threw on her PJs and one of His old hoodies, she had a long day and even though it was 11.56pm she really needed that cold shower. Her mind rewind back to half an hour ago- it just happened but she's already cringing at her own action. The more she replayed it in her brain, the more embarrassed she became.
"AAAAHHHH!" She let out a high-pitched scream and also slapped her face a few times, trying to awaken her senses because clearly, she had lost them. Hopefully she didn't wake anyone else in the Cubby.
"FUCK! I'm just a fraud- what am I fucking doing" She turned the TV on, then walked to the freezer, took one tub of ice cream and jumped into the couch. She needed something to calm her down.
The ice cream did its job, it cooled her down and she let her mind wander around.
She thought that taking April's advice, trying to be her old self would be enough for her. She did everything. She had lines of men and women desperate for her attention, lines of people who would want a second of her time, she had them wrapped around the palm of her hand, just like old times.
But she noticed something. Something that differentiates the whole thing. Back then, she had plenty of people lining up for her and some of them she was literally scamming and don't give a single fuck about but deep down her intention was clear, she was searching for love, she wants being wanted, she craved that connection with someone. These days though? She doesn't even know what's the purpose of her doing all these, she's playing with their feelings and for what? Only for the thrill of causing drama between people? She was grasping at anything to make her feel alive
She thought about what Tommy said earlier. 'Let him try to help me?' she replayed his words again.
She is beyond the saving point.
Tommy was... Tommy.
He didn't change much, still the good ol' Tommy Tate but this time more matured and definitely not in his slut-era.
He is perfect. If you try to imagine the perfect partner Tommy Tate is someone that she'd imagined.
He respects her a lot, he listened to her, he communicated his feelings well, he's close to her family, he's even in the fucking gang right now- yes, right, she's in chang gang right now. He's so charming, he's funny, he's very attractive, He'd even peeled the fucking orange for her- what more can you say? He's the perfect man.
But that's not the way she loved Him.
Where's the screaming? Where's the fighting? Where's the thrill? Where's the roller-coaster kind of rush? Where's the trying to kill each other before kissing under the downpour?
Tommy was perfect but she felt a huge nothing.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
--
; sometimes idek what am I writing about LOL