You flipped the next page of your journal. Your handwriting hasn't changed since all those years ago.
How long has it been? A few decades? A millennia? You didn't know. You didn't bother to keep track of time. You'd been surviving the vicious land of Teyvat, ever since you ran away from Khaenri'ah. All you knew was that it was more than a hundred years ago.
More than a hundred years of nothing but blurred routines and suffering alone.
You gazed outside your tent. It was in the middle of the day. You closed the journal shut and stood up. It was time to hunt for food. You grabbed your bag, never bothering to recheck everything. Everyday seemed the same, so you started to stop taking extra things. You only needed to restock the stuff in your backpack, and unnecessary weight would be useless.
You stepped outside the tent, grabbing your bow and arrows and your sword. You slid the blade into its sheath. You've had more than enough time to hone your hunting skills, and you'd been trying to improve your swordsmanship for who-knew-how long. You didn't know if you ever made progress on a professional level since nobody was there to teach you, but you can say that you're proud of your current skills. You've fought a lot of fatui mages, desert dwellers, and all kinds of literal forces of nature; It was how you survived.
You grabbed your makeshift map out of your backpack. Ever since you arrived at Teyvat, you've been making a map, both out of your memory and by exploring. You had practically been everywhere - except the desert. You've never had the patience in your past life and guts in your current life to explore that place.
You mentally outlined a small area that should have barrels of food. Your memory of your past life was fleeting from how long ago it was, but you could still somehow remember the contents of the game clearly - it was bizarre. But, you suspected it was because of the journal you wrote from the day you first arrived in this world. You never got to complete many of the quests, but you've studied multiple playthroughs of others, which was how you managed to make out a lot of theories. But in hindsight, it truly didn't matter to you. You made the map for convenience purposes only.
You passed through the small lake your camp was set up next to. You inevitably noticed your reflection.
You didn't age - at least physically. Your hair was messy and frizzy from just waking up. You had bandages wrapped around your arms from the injuries you sustained from fights, and scars that didn't quite fully heal since the fall of Khaenri'ah. You blinked. You had gotten used to your eyes now.
On one of the first days of arriving in this world, you had the unfavorable chance to notice your reflection in the window. You almost scared yourself with how unfamiliar and weird your eyes were. Your pupils were the shape of stars. You stared at yourself for a while before accepting the fact that you were truly Khaenri'ahn.
Your sister, for some reason, didn't have those eyes. That's why you didn't notice it earlier. That meant you were a Khaenri'ahn pure-blood - a royal, but you sure as hell was never treated like one. You were sure you and Lucianne were blood-related, so you thought you had her eyes as well. Even in your past life, you were both biological sisters. You were incredibly confused with the new realization of facts. You wanted to ask your sister about it, but you never actually investigated any further. You didn't want to regret finding out any type of truth about her, because Lucianne was special to you. So, you ended up reluctantly brushing it off in the end. You didn't want to ruin the comfortable life you had together. But, now that it didn't matter, your sister was already gone.
Your eyes signified your pure Khaenri'ahn blood. Yet, neither you, nor your sister were nobles. It did end up explaining why you never aged, but back then, nobody you knew reacted to your eyes, so... What was wrong with you? It seemed like everyone knew you had some sort of secret or some kind of birth defect, but your sister would've told you.
You shook your head and sighed. It wasn't worth it to recount the memories of happier times. It just made you upset and guilty.
You walked through the plain grass ground, map in hand with a sword at your hip and a bow on your back. You analyzed your surroundings and matched them with the map you had. You were in Starfell Valley - Mondsadt territory.
You had never gone into the cities of Teyvat's regions. You'd just been scouring the terrain near them. You didn't want to do anything to change history. Although, you had been peeking into Mondsadt to take a look at its history, mainly because you wanted to cross-reference it with your lore notebook to see if the future was still the same.
A waypoint stood a few meters away from you, but you didn't dare go near it. You didn't want to get involved with anything related to Gods.
You spotted a hillichurl camp. It wasn't the place with the barrels you wanted, but just a random group. You mentally noted to yourself to check them out, so you could try to talk to them. You had started to study their language because you had to, just for theory-making purposes in your past life, but now you're trying to seriously decipher it. They were Khaenri'ahn - your people, before. You've been trying to find the Hilichurlian handbook, yet you've never had that much luck. At best, you could understand bits and pieces of their speech.
After a few minutes of walking and stopping a few times to snag a couple of apples from nearby trees, you were finally nearing your destination. You instinctively put away your map. You followed your routine and everything was just as expected. You closed your eyes and inhaled, ready to either try to negotiate if they seemed friendly enough, or sneak in and steal what you needed.
You opened your eyes to see an Abyss mage and a Mitachurl at the camp.
...Hold on.
An Abyss mage and a Mitachurl?!
You stopped dead in your tracks as the realization crashed onto you. "What the-" You yelled out loud from shock, then immediately clamped your mouth shut and quickly dived into a nearby bush. The Mitachurl glances your way, as if sensing that something was wrong.
You were still relatively at a distance away from the camp; two people couldn't have seen or recognized each other if they were that far, unless you were so used to seeing them that their blurry figures etched into your mind.
You were, in fact, very used to seeing hilichurls at the camp, which meant you could easily tell whether something else was there. (And that 'something else' for you, was a giant and more buff version of a hilichurl and a sentient creature with elemental magic. Just your luck.)
You struggled inside the bush, pushing the leaves and branches out of the way and letting them scratch your face while trying to double-check your map. You were hoping they didn't notice you. You were sure it was supposed to be a normal hilichurl camp with a bunch of barrels. How the heck did an Abyss mage and Mitachurl end up there?!
You were so used to knowing where was what and who was where, but routine breaks were rare - You'd even go as far as to say it never happened before. You were shocked. You didn't know what to do.
You hated doing commissions when Mitachurls were involved back then. You were a lore player, not one of those meta players, so you would get pretty annoyed and find it tedious whenever you had to fight a Mitachurl, even though they didn't pose much of a threat when fighting inside the game. But this wasn't a game. Woth your current combat skills, you definitely won't live if you were to attack the Abyss mage. You never had any real-life experience fighting one, and you were sure your life would end if you gained any. You could fight the Mitachurl without any complications, but it would be a hassle. Even so, you didn't want to fight it. In all your years of living, you, Y/n, never allowed yourself to.
Because the Mitachurl and the Abyss mage were once normal citizens of Khaenri'ah.
You cautiously poked your head up from the thick leaves, only to be met by the gaze of the Mitachurl. It made it suddenly turn into something of a frenzied state, yelling something while jerking its shield toward your direction, which caused the Abyss mage to notice your presence. Your heart dropped to your gut. You jumped out of that bush as quickly as you could and ran as fast as your legs could go. The ground vibrated from the heavy stomping and the penetrating low gibberish of the Mitachurl made you run even faster. You didn't want to die. Not now, at least, not when you had been so desperately trying to survive without your sister.
You noticed a forest you passed while walking and made a beeline for it. You rapidly scanned every tree you saw, looking for one that you could hide behind. Beads of cold sweat ran down your forehead when you heard the Mitachurl snapping the trees in half and angrily throwing them in your way in an attempt to slow you down.
You skillfully dodge them, but you almost fell. Every step you took felt like electricity that burned into your nerves, yet you didn't plan to stop. You spotted a thick enough tree trunk and swerved right for it. Through teary eyes, you looked behind you to make sure it wasn't close enough for it to see where you hid, but what you saw was terrifying. It was like the nightmares you had when you were once a child. A beast chasing you non-stop, slowly catching up to you, ready to devour you.
You hid behind the tree, almost hitting the back of your head against the wood. You were frozen in fear. You couldn't move. You were shaking so much and the world felt cold. You dug your face into your clenched hands. "This is the end." You muttered over and over again.
You heard the Mitachurl's heavy footsteps come closer and closer. You squeezed your eyes shut and let yourself roughly fall to the ground.
The weight of the situation crashed onto you. You couldn't breathe. Every sound drowned out and you could only hear ringing in your ears. Your whole body was numb. You gripped your hair and forced yourself to breathe, but shallow breaths only came in and out of your lungs. Your heart was beating in your throat and your vision was starting to become blurry. You were dizzy and couldn't think.
A roar made you hazily open your eyes. You saw black and red fur a few inches away from your body. You snapped your eyes shut. You felt yourself shaking even more violently, and didn't notice that tears sliding down your face. "Please, don't-" Your beg was cut off by a reverberated voice. "Wait." It said. You immediately opened your eyes with relief at not being killed immediately. You frantically tried to find where the voice came from.
The Abyss mage stood a few feet away from you. "Your eyes..." It trailed off, sounding surprised. You blinked. What about your eyes? Did it not like them? You- you could tear them out if it wanted you to, you didn't care - you just wanted to live. "I don't need your eyes." It said. Huh? Did you say that out loud?
"You're Khaenri'ahn!" The Abyss mage exclaimed. Your eyes were those of Khaenri'ahn blood, you reminded yourself. You shakily exhaled as the Mitachurl stepped back upon the mage's words. You swallowed hard. You didn't know what to say, other than to beg for your life to be spared.
The Abyss mage got closer, causing you to flinch. "I should take you to her highness." It said. Your heart sank. You'd been successfully avoiding the Abyss' gaze for all these years. You didn't want anything to do with them, since they're known for their ruthless acts and cruel ways of dealing with things. You enjoyed reading about the Abyss - more or less - in your past life, but you never wanted to have the chance to be included in anything they do. What would happen if you were going to be forced to join? You swore to the world that you would never interfere with the past events so you wouldn't change anything about the future.
"Wait!" You stuttered. You struggled to find an excuse. What could you do to not be taken away in this situation? "What's going on?" You blurted out. You mentally slapped yourself in the face. You've just dug yourself a hole.
You swallowed, before digging yourself an even deeper hole and jumping in it. "Who is 'her highness'?" You stuttered, trying to stall. You scratched your mind to find a direction where you could successfully escape.
The Abyss mage stayed quiet for a moment, then eerily chuckled, which made chills run down your spine. "You can save your excuses for her highness." It sneered, "I must request her audience." It said to itself. The mage lifted its hand, and a dark void ball started to form. You immediately tried to stand up, already knowing what was going to happen.
A portal formed out of thin air. An inky black color with small dots resembling distant stars decorated it. You instantly tried to run away, but then a force knocked you directly into the portal.
You inhaled sharply, grasping air, then before you it, you were enveloped in coldness. Everything was silent. It was as if you were in the void. You couldn't breath.
It felt familiar.
All of a sudden a loud warping sound filled your ears as you were knocked onto the ground. You winced in pain, panicked and tried to sit up, but immediately regretted it. Your vision swimmed and the air felt frigid. You fell back down onto the grown. The next thing you knew was that you were being forcefully lifted up, which only made your dizziness worse.
Two pairs of icy hands grabbed your shoulders and pulled you upwards, before you were forced to walk. You instinctively tried to, but because you were dizzy, your legs shakily refused to move.
After a few moments of being dragged, you - rather, the ones who were dragging you, abruptly stopped. You felt like fainting. "Has her highness arrived?" The voice of the Abyss mage said. You stared at the ground out of fear and confusion. You didn't know where you were. A grumbled voice responded, thumping its staff.
You felt yourself trembling as you heard the sound of heavy stone doors opening. An overwhelming indescribable atmosphere was thrown onto you. Guilt, rage, sadness, desperation - you couldn't understand.
Rather, you didn't want to understand it, because you knew what it was.
A piercing gaze burned into you as you were roughly dragged across a black carpet. "We greet her highness..." The Abyss mage nervously said. The things that held you shoved you down, forcing you to kneel. You made a tiny noise similar to a wince and squeezed your eyes shut, keeping your head down. The guards let go of your wrists, and you let them fall onto the floor, making a small thud that echoed.
The guards stood at your side obediently. Maybe they were trying to keep you from running away. It was pointless to, because you didn't have a choice but to stay. If you did run, where would you go? You didn't even know where you were.
"State your business." A cold voice, completely devoid of any emotion, said. You recognized it immediately. A chill ran down your spine and you refused to make any movements. "As I was carrying out orders from your highness," it said, seemingly, taking a moment to breathe. "W-we encountered someone," it stuttered. "Speak properly." The cold voice said, a hint of impatience. It seemed to stun the Abyss mage into fear and panic. "Yes, your highness!" It stammered.
You tried to tune everything out. You mentally kept telling yourself that this wasn't real - that this was just a dream. Your limbs trembled as you tensed.
"We encountered a trivial individual... I humbly ask your highness to please," it gulped, "Take a proper look." The Abyss mage's almost-disfigured voice wobbled.
"Stop wasting my time." The voice coolly said. You could hear the mage flinch from how its particles shifted. "Lift their head." The Abyss mage demanded in a whisper. One of the soldiers grabbed your hair and forced you to look up. By instinct, you opened your eyes.
You were in a dark throne room, surrounded by Abyss guards and intimidating auras. A cruel fog surrounded the edges of the area, threatening and dangerous. A person sat on the dark throne, seemingly out of place with her white sky-like dress, but perfectly comfortable in the atmosphere. She sat elegantly in her seat, as if she was made for it. She felt like a different person, but she still looked the same from all those decades ago.
Lumine.
A spark went off in your veins as you both made eye-contact. A flash of recognition and shock passed her face and your blood ran cold. The whole room went silent. You couldn't tear your attention away from her, and she kept your gaze.
Slowly, she stood up. You blinked, and, in a panic, tried to force your head down to look away. The guards beside you attempted to pull your head up by your hair again, but were stopped by Lumine's command.
Lumine made her way towards you. You were shaking from pure fear. Your heartbeat was out of control and you felt numb.
She gently grabbed your chin and lifted your head in her direction.
Up close, you could clearly see her beauty. Her pupils were the color of amber stars, wide and burning bright - but you could sense a tinge of resentment was hidden behind her eyes. Her shocked and curious gaze travelled your face. Anger and hatred was etched in her features, yet she looked gentle, calm and collected. She looked like a perfect star herself; with pale white skin and soft blonde hair - she was beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful.
"Your eyes..." She spoke. Her voice was warm but cool, sweet but ethereal. It was cold, but comforting. You gulped, realizing what she said. You didn't dare utter a single word.
You were starting to hate your eyes.
"You're Khaenri'ahn." She said, sounding amused. You snapped out of your daze. You jerked your head away, trembling.
Had she... Had she remembered you? You met so long ago - hell, you only just shared a glance at each other and didn't even talk. You couldn't forget the feeling - a spark, or whatever it was you felt. Judging by the way she was speaking she most likely already forgot. You surely hadn't.
"I remember you." Lumine softly said. You froze. "Soldiers," She commanded, "Leave." The Abyss guards immediately turned around, doing as their princess said and left. She never once looked away from you. "You were the sister of Lucianne." Lumine said. You snapped your gaze to her, shocked. She tilted her head, peering down at you with an remorseful expression. Her golden hair elegantly touched her shoulder.
"From the Kreistlyn clan, was it?" Lumine said, glancing away, and unreadable emotion on her face. "Your sister was a great soldier of Khaenri'ah." She said in a regretful voice, yet with a cold face. It felt like she was... reassuring you, somehow.
You stared at her, completely dumbfounded, scared, and silent. Kreistlyn clan? You never knew about the existence of that clan before; there were barely any of the kind for as far as your past memories could tell. But what Lumine said would mean... Lucianne was a noble?
Your head was starting to ache. You had so many questions.
Lumine didn't react to your shocked expression. Instead, she raised her hand to you, as if asking you to stand. You didn't take her hand and only stared at it, glancing up at her.
"Join the Abyss." Lumine said.
Your eyes widened in shock. When you didn't respond, she slightly lowered her hand. "Everyone in the Abyss is of Khaenri'ahn blood." She said, "We must avenge our homeland as one." Lumine firmly held her hand again.
You didn't know what to do. You never wanted to be part of something that could change the future of Genshin Impact. The Abyss was dangerous, that much was true. Humans that were turned into creatures as punishment were its members, angered and vengeful at the heavens. You didn't want anything to do with it. You weren't brave, you weren't courageous, you were just trying to survive. You knew how everything came to be in this world, but you didn't want to use that knowledge.
Yet, you... you were tempted.
You were battered and bitter from your past, and you looked scratched and bruised. Truly, you had nothing to lose - because you've already lost it all. Lucianne was gone, your kingdom fell, and you were all alone. Nobody was there for you any more, and no one else will be. The Abyss was the only thing that could understand you.
But joining the Abyss would mean getting hurt. It would mean you would've had to carry out orders of destroying and scheming. You would have to train your swordsmanship, deal with battles, arenas, and people.
Although, oddly, you were fine with that. It felt comforting to know that you weren't alone - to know that you weren't the only person in the world to suffer the wrath of the damned heaven, and to know that someone could understand you.
But deep down, you knew you could never truly feel like you belonged. Your soul wasn't from this world, and you barely had memories of the years you had before you died in your past life - memories that your new body held. Even though you were used to your routines, lived your dull and repetitive days, you weren't used to your new life. And yet, you yearned for comfort.
You hesitantly look into Lumine's eyes. Determined, cold, and bright - the opposite of yours, but she reminded you of your home.
Lumine's eyes reminded you of your sister's eyes, as a memory of her laughing and smiling warmly at you flashed across your mind, tormenting your already aching heart for a moment.
"I can't believe you managed to burn chicken into literal charcoal!" Lucianne laughed, clutching her stomach as you stood there embarrassed. "I didn't mean to, okay?" You huffed, "I was busy planting outside and I forgot." You scratched the back of your head.
Your sister looked beautiful. Her hair moved with energy, her movements bold and clear. You enjoyed her extroverted presence, fluttering eyelashes and her defined face from her knightly duties and training. Lucianne was your sister, and you were her sibling. Nothing could change that.
Lucianne finished chuckling, wiping a tear from her eye before placing her hand on your head. "It's fine," she said, patting your head. It was comfortable. "Accidents happen." She lightly said. "Just don't let it happen again." Lucianne slowly dropped her hand. You sheepishly nodded, avoiding eye-contact. "Sorry..." You mumbled, smiling.
You shakily clenched your hand, before unclenching it, staring at Lumine's hand. You slowly, reluctantly, and somewhat desperately, lifted your trembling hand. Her hand extended even more.
You placed your hand on hers. "Okay." You stuttered, whispering. You looked up at her again through tear-filled eyes. Lumine's expression softened. "Thank you." She said calmly, as if she expected you to accept.
After years of surviving, trying your best to make a tomorrow happen, and hoping you wouldn't die the next day, finally - finally, you weren't alone.