It's been a year since that day.
Today was the 365 mark since that incident. You could still remember it like it was yesterday.
You plucked a petal from a dying flower while looking at the calendar. It felt dry, crumpled, and withered. You squished it with your hands and gently sprinkled it around the soil.
You sighed. This was your favorite flower. You were going to have to replace it now.
Some part of you would still miss the flowers, but that would be it - You would miss it. Grieving over such a little thing had no benefit.
It made you realize that the past is truly the past and that anyone can move on. You'll eventually plant a new one and develop a new fondness for its beauty.
You looked outside your window, standing up from your almost completely filled-with-vines desk. A familiar thumping of footsteps could be heard from the other side of your door. You didn't even turn around because you immediately recognized it.
"Wakey-wakey!" Your sister almost slammed the door open, yelling out in a sing-song voice.
Some things never change, no matter what.
Upon seeing you awake in a moody state, Luci instantly drops her energized act and frowns. "You're awake early. What's wrong?" She walks behind you, peering over your shoulder to see what happened.
"My favorite flower died." You said, tilting your head so you could see her reaction. She wore surprised eyes, with her frown still present. Your sister looks at you, about to say something, before you interrupted. "It's fine, Luci. I'll just plant a new one." You said, stretching your arms up, causing Lucianne to step away a little.
You checked the time. "Aren't you late for your meeting?" You said. Lucianne sighs. "All my superiors just talk about the same thing. I mean, it's not like it isn't serious." Your sister continues to ramble on, eventually sitting down on the edge of your bed. You kept listening.
You'd been feeling strange, lately. It's odd. It's like a sense of dread that you can't pinpoint a reason for. The feeling has been biting your stomach for the past few weeks, and you can barely sleep.
Yesterday, was when you finally had a realization. You read your book over and over, searching for anything that could prove your suspicion wrong, but nothing did. All the major events that are happening - like Gold making more advanced robots than usual, the royal guards increasingly becoming more and more stressed, and Dainsleif making more decrees that claimed everything was under control. It was all because the sky was starting to turn red. That should've been a telltale sign about what was going to happen, but you couldn't bear to immediately accept it.
It got to the point where you were scouted to help on expeditions for gathering supplies only found in forests.
It all points to one thing.
The destruction of Khaenri'ah. It was close.
You were wavering between denial and acceptance. You didn't want your entire nation to burn up and turn to ash just as you were starting to grow fond of it. But, you also understood that there was nothing you could do to change the situation.
So, earlier this morning, you made the decision that you needed to persuade your sister, the only person you ever cared about, to move to another nation.
"That reminds me," Lucianne said, making you focus on reality. "Don't you have another expedition tomorrow? You've been preparing for it since last week, right?" She asked, standing up. You gulped. "Yeah." You said.
You didn't want to leave your sister alone. Especially at this time. You had gone on expeditions many times before, but your brain was debating with your gut whether you were just paranoid or not - but you were not taking any chances anymore.
You inquired, frowning at your sister, "Can I not go?" You said, "Please, I'll gladly take on cooking duty for three weeks." Your sister sighed, "Y/n." You had to try even though you knew she wouldn't let you. You dragged out the word even more, saying "Please?" a second time. Your sister patted you on the head and said, "You have to." She hugged you from behind, "It's for the greater good." She grinned at you, before turning around and departing for her responsibilities as a knight.
You clenched your fists.
For the greater good, she said. If anything could be counted as doing something for a distant future, than the destruction of your kingdom shouldn't have been swept under the rug.
A breeze that entered through the half-closed window stopped our train for thoughts. You unclenhed your fists, turning back your attention to your plants to calm yourslef down.
Thus, you were left alone.
-
It's been a while since you finished packing all the necessary items for your expedition. You made sure to double-check everything so you wouldn't leave anything important behind. You left a note in the kitchen from when your sister would return home, especially emphasizing which plants needed water. Your sister would probably already know which ones to; She's become familiar with all of your delicate and high-in-demand plant species.
"Did you inform the general?" The leader of the expedition said. His voice was raspy, warm, and excited. "Yes, I did. Safe travels for you and your group!" Another one yelled back; this time a female voice. "Right! Let's go, team!" The man shouted. You sighed. He was obviously a newbie; over-excited for anything and determined to shine. Why would they put a newbie as a leader? He seemed underqualified. You were once that - although less enthusiastic when you were first pushed into an expedition team.
He walked forward with pride, leading the whole group forward. You scanned the people you were going to spend more than a week with. Besides the expedition leader, there were also two more women and another man. The girls looked similar, and very close, while the other woman had been spacing out, and the man-made looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.
The leading man reminded you of your sister.
You already missed her.
You never admitted it to anyone yet since you've been doing this for a while, and people would think you are way too clingy. You were way too childish when it came to Lucianne.
It's not too late to turn back. You shake your head when the thought reaches your mind. It would be very late to turn back now. You're doing this for the safety of your sister. But the funny feeling won't go away.
The feeling of dread and fear of impending doom was consuming you alive as you put one step in front of the other.
-
Roars of laughter and wooden cups filled with ginger ale kocked agaisnt eachother in cheers. You were tempted to join your team.
They all collectively agreed on hosting some sort of "party," one where they said they wanted to get to know each other; Reinzo, the one you assumed was the newbie head of the expedition, was the ringleader of it. He pointed at whose turn he decided it to be, and proceeded to ask questions about their life outside their work. You didn't like people who probed into people's business, but you liked the ale they were drinking.
You sighed as you observed their rowdy behavior from under a tree that was closeby. You looked back at what you were writing. It wasn't your journal about the future or anything. In fact, it was the opposite. It was a small notebook about all your memories from your past life.
You were reminiscing about your happier times, not to sound stereotypical. You do harbor regrets, as any normal person would, and you would sometimes wonder if you could've done something else differently. So you decided to just write down your frustrations, your 'what ifs', and your grudges. It was one of the most healthy things you had done for yourself, and you kind of were proud of it.
You scribbled little doodles on the side of the page. Lots of sad faces, stick men and women, and anything that related to the memory you were writing about.
You were in peace until you heard a call of your name. You paused, slowly closed the book, and looked up. Reinzo excitedly waved at you and gestured for you to join them. You were hesitant, to say the least.
After a while of beckoning you to come over to each of your teammates, you reluctantly came over and sat down on the farthest log.
"What's with your gloomy face?" Reinzo asked. "I'm not used to large groups." You simply said. "Aren't you a senior?" One of the twins asked. You were silent at that. A few seconds passed before Reinzo suddenly laughed. "Well, at least you're with us now. Bet it was lonely in the corner!" He chuckled and raised his mug for a toast. The group immediately cracked a smile, except for you, and toasted along.
You wanted to join, too. But it was too late. You frowned. Oh well, another regret to add to your notebook.
-
You finally reached the forest where your team was supposed to explore. It was large and full of all sorts of creatures. You pulled out your notepad and checked if everything was ready and prepared for the search for the needed materials.
"How come you always carry at least one notepad every time we go somewhere?" A voice spoke and startled you. You sharply turned your head. It was the gloomy woman who you thought didn't want be on the expedition. It turned out she was just having a bad day, you think. "I need to check everything off, just in case something goes wrong." You said, then continued what you were doing. "Y/n!" A voice that you recognized was Reinzo's shouted from behind you. "Is everything fine and dandy and ready?" He said, almost out of breath in what seemed like excitement. You nodded your head.
Reinzo beamed even more, stood up straight, and claimed everything was ready. During the few days that you were with him, he was surprisingly a competent leader. He made sure everyone was having fun while also being serious about the expedition. You really shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
The whole team gathered around. "Alright everyone, this is the goal of our mission!" He announced. He then went off on some motivating speech. Reinzo didn't need to be that enthusiastic in your opinion, but at least it encouraged the others.
The expedition team trekked through the lush forest with a mix of excitement and hesitation. You were in charge of checking the directions, according to Reinzo.
You announced which way the group was supposed to go, everyone carried the supplies, and Reinzo checked on the group from time to time. The start of the expedition was looking good so far.
For a while, it seemed like the group just wandered around. Nobody knew what they were looking for, because they'd never seen it before. Well, nobody except Reinzo. That's why he was the head of this expedition, he once said.
The dense forest became even thicker as they ventured further into the unknown. Everyone's excitement gradually turned into apprehension, and a hushed tension hung in the air.
As the expedition team continued to trek through the labyrinthine forest, Reinzo diligently checked the directions provided by you. The thick undergrowth made it challenging to navigate, and you focused intently on the map, making it hard to accurately figure out where you were. But amidst the uncertainty, you tried to remain determined to fulfill your responsibility of guiding the team.
That was when you learned Reinzo didn't know how to understand directions. Each step was careful, unsure until you would say where to go. It made the fact that everyone has their flaws, despite being seemingly perfect more obvious.
As the hours ticked by, fatigue started to settle in. The weight of the supplies became increasingly burdensome, and the once eager faces of some of your members now wore expressions of exhaustion. You were sure doubts began to creep into their minds, questioning the purpose of the expedition. You too, were slightly uncertain, but you didn't want to admit it - just in case it could lower the team's spirits even more.
Reinzo, sensing the growing discouragement, decided to cheer everyone up. He began reminding everyone of the money and doing this for Khaenri'ah's flourish.
Everyone seemed to be motivated by Reinzo's words and the sheer beauty of their surroundings, and the group pushed forward with renewed determination. You remained unchanged, though. There was still a lack of certainty around the expedition that you couldn't quite pinpoint.
With each passing mile, the forest - not quite literally - transformed, becoming an enchanted realm that they had never dared to imagine. Ancient trees towered above, their gnarled branches providing a sanctuary for countless creatures. Rivers and streams flowed gracefully, inviting the explorers to quench their thirst and replenish their weary bodies. Even you were surprised.
Despite the awe-inspiring scenery, you never lost focus on the mission at hand. You wanted to remain unwavering, ensuring the expedition stayed on course. It would be troublesome if you were to become distracted.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a clearing emerged on the horizon. Gasps of astonishment rippled through the group as they beheld the sight before them. In the center of the forest, there lay a huge flower, with a gradient color of green to white. You had found the goal of the entire expedition. The most deadly and poisonous flower - even the researchers of Khaenri'ah didn't even name it. It was that rare.
Reinzo had been a one-in-a-billion people to discover by accident, so the group followed his advice carefully. He instructed everyone wisely and succeeded in taking a handful of the poisonous petals of the flower.
You were impressed. You already knew Reinzo's capabilities, and fortunately, he was extremely good at his job. You could almost praise him -but you figured he probably heard more than enough compliments from your nation's researchers.
You could... you could imagine being friends with Reinzo, or at least being close co-workers. You could probably take a few pieces of advice from him, and you could offer him some navigation tips. But you don't think Reinzo thinks of you like that. You've been, well, certainly unsolvable towards the group. You don't know if Reinzo would agree to be friends. He probably wouldn't. You've been acting grumpy ever since the expedition started.
You were physically deflated at your realization. You didn't mean to be rude to anyone. It's just that you didn't want to socialize, that's all. This was the expedition you've been begging yourself and your sister for you to not go through with it, but you still did. You sighed.
A felt a poke on your shoulder. "Hey." The woman that was part of your group, who you admittedly forgot the name of, said. You turned your head slightly. She had light brown short hair tied into a small ponytail, with vibrant green eyes. "You keep sighing." She said. How straightforward. It's not like you found it annoying or anything, in fact, you liked those who were straight to the point. "I..." You panicked, looking for an excuse. "I just remembered that I forgot to send my sister a letter." You gulped. "She must be worried." You said, looking away. "Ah, well you can send one right after we camp again." The woman said, nodding and looking away too.
The silence between you two was awkward, sort of. It was awkward for you. You were overthinking if she believed you or not. "Y/n! I need your help really quick." Reinzo, like the unknowing social savior that he is, called for you. You swiftly jogged over to Reinzo, helping him I'm any way you could, all while avoiding the unreadable gaze of the woman.
-
You felt rough hands shake you awake. You stirred from your slumber, groaning and rubbing your eyes.
You blinked a couple of times, confused by the suddenness. A pair of maroon, terrified eyes met your gaze. Your stomach is already twisted into a knot. This wasn't good.
"Wake up!" The man repeated, constantly shaking your shoulders. "What, Reinzo?" You yawned, "I'm awake. What's going on?" You said, groggily. You railed back your memory from yesterday in a hurry.
You and your team managed to finish the expedition and obtained the flower, and you were heading back. Your team members wanted to rest for the last night, and you followed. You had put your sword in your black bag, and you could grab it any time.
Reinzo looked at you. He had wide and terrified eyes, ruffled hair, and an almost teary face. He was completely silent for a second, then moved his gaze over to the slightly opened zipper of your tent.
"...the sky." He stuttered.
Your heart dropped.
"It's completely dark and red."
You didn't even get a chance to properly open the tent when you rushed outside.
There, your team stood confused, bewildered, scared, and all looking up at the sky. You looked up too.
The sky was a bright-ish red. You could see high up that black moving squares violently vibrating and shaking.
Your instinct told you to look in the distance. You didn't need to, though. You already knew what was happening.
Black squares surrounded an area, seemingly consuming the entire place. To be more specific, a kingdom. The kingdom of Khaenri'ah.
It was happening.
Shit.
Out of all the times, why now? You thought. Khaenri'ah, where your beloved sister resided?
Lucianne.
Lucianne was in Khaenri'ah, which was being destroyed. She was alone.
So, you ran.
You ran towards the punishment of Celestia, you ran towards your home, and you ran towards destruction. You didn't care about the confused shouts behind you, you didn't care about the consequences, and you didn't care that you were completely without your uniform and protective equipment. You were defenseless, but none of that mattered to you - because Lucianne was too.
You looked back once. Everyone was staring at you, confused. You knew. You knew they were all going to turn into beasts that would destroy anything in its path.
But all you cared about was your sister. She was your whole world. Your everything.
You didn't want to leave her alone.
-
All you saw was destruction. Burning buildings, raging fires, black cubes ruining everything in its path, and monsters. Everything was absolute chaos. Yet, you found yourself running into it.
The smell of death and fire will forever be etched into your brain. You kept running.
"Lucianne!" You screamed, over and over again, desperately looking for your sister. You reached your house - rather, what was left of it, and your feet were beyond aching. "Lucianne, please!" You yelled again. Most of the walls were still up, but the upstairs was completely gone. Plants have been torn, pots have been broken - everything was demolished.
You ran inside. She wasn't there. You looked into the bathroom. She wasn't there. You reached the kitchen. Lucianne wasn't there.
A note lay on the dining table. Clinging on to the thin thread of your last hope, you ran towards it, smacking yourself onto the side of the hardwood. You grabbed the piece of paper. Your sister had to be here, somewhere.
...right?
You barely gripped the note with your trembling hands. You could barely see the words from how much you were shaking.
"I'm gonna be late, people want me on the front field, sorry! I'll bring your favorite snack." It said. A little smiley face decorated the sentence.
Everything felt completely frozen. It seemed like time stopped.
You didn't care anymore. The world around you had lost all color and meaning. Nothing mattered to you anymore. The so-called 'second chance' at life that you had been granted now felt like a curse. The weight of regret hung heavily upon your shoulders as you questioned the purpose of it all.
Your sister, your lovely sister, Lucianne, who had been your guiding light and source of strength, left.
Your legs couldn't bear your weight anymore and went limp and numb. Your whole body was numb. You couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of regret that clawed at your very being. You should've stayed. You should have listened to your gut. It was as if all the hope that had once fueled your existence had vanished, leaving behind a desolate emptiness.
Lucianne, your beacon of light, had been snatched away from you, leaving a void that was impossible to fill. With her gone, you questioned the purpose of your existence, grappling with the existential crisis that consumed your thoughts. What was the point of enduring everything if she wouldn't be there to celebrate with you and encourage you as she did before?
You cried. There wasn't anything else to do. You sobbed and yelled at the unfairness. You scratched the ground, wailed at the heavens, begged and demanded for Lucianne to be brought back. The flames around you only welcomed your anger and increased their size. You didn't care. Lucianne was gone. If you were to be enveloped in the flames of revenge and anger of the gods, you wouldn't mind. At least you could see Lucianne again.
That night, you lost the only person you cared about.