"This house is a three bedroom, two bathroom, new build, with an in home office," the landlord explains as he gives us the tour, "theres a washer and dryer," he opens a closet door to reveal a washing and drying machine. "Here."
"That's a weird place for a washing machine." Dad comments.
The land lord shrugs before walking toward the kitchen. "As you can see here, we have updated appliances, stainless steel refrigerator, dishwasher, the stove is gas though." He explains, "real granite counter tops." He kocks on the surface, the sound indicating that it is real.
"Theres a gas fireplace in the living room that will be great for the holidays." The landlord explains.
"Can we see the bedrooms?" Dad asks.
"Right this way." He leads us to the master bedroom. "The master is down stairs and the two childrens bedrooms are upstairs."
The master bedroom was huge.
"Theres a spacious walk in closet," he turns the light on in the closet, "and you will love the master bathroom."
The bathroom was huge, it had both a shower and a deep tub. The counter tops were real granite, matching the kitchen counter tops.
"Now if you'll follow me I can show you the childrens bedrooms." He says before leading us up the carpeted stairs. "Both bedrooms are right next to eachother." He explains.
One of the bedrooms was smaller than the other. "I call dibs on that one!" I state happily as I point to the bigger bedroom.
"That's no fair, Jade cant call dibs on anything." Dad laughs lightly.
"Shoulda been born first." I shrug.
"And if you'll follow me over here," the land lord leads us into a much smaller room, "this could be an in home office or a simple guest room."
"This could be your drum room." Dad suggests.
"What?" I was shocked.
"Its the perfect size." He replies.
"Don't you want it for something?" I ask.
"What would I need an office for?" He asks.
"For," I trail off, "office stuff?" I shrug.
Dad laughs, "we could add some sound proofing to the walls, hang up some decorations, get you a nice recording set up," dad explains, "this would be perfect."
"Do you think papa will still teach me?" I ask.
"Of course he will." Dad says solemnly.
"Across the hallway you'll see the second bathroom." The land lord interrupts.
"Woah, this bathroom is huge." I state as I take in my settings.
"Now if you'll follow me back down stairs we can go see the back yard." He explains.
We walk down the stairs and out a glass sliding door.
"This house has a big fenced in back yard, perfect for any pets or children to run around and play in." He explains.
"Woah this is huge!" I say excitedly.
"Now it's a security deposit of 1800$, an extra 150$ non refundable pet fee and another 150$ refundable pet deposit per pet, and an extra 100$ a month per dependent over the age of one years old on the lease." He explains quietly to dad.
"We don't have any pets." Dad inform.
"We will prorate your first months rent if you move in after the first of the month," the man explains, "you'll need to set up an account with Baltimore Gas and Electric before the move in date and show proof, you can set up your wifi at anytime during your lease, you'll have to choose from a select few internet providers that service the area." He explains.
"Okay." Dad takes in all of the information.
"Are we ready to make a decision?" The land lord asks.
Dad looks over at me and I nod my head enthusiastically.
"I think we are." He states.
"Alright I will email you the rental application, I'll just need your two most recent pay stubs as proof of employment and income, you'll need to disclose any criminal background, you'll need to pass a credit check, and there is a fifty dollar application fee per non dependent applicant." He explains, "if theres a wife or anybody that also needs the rental application then you can add their email on the part of the application that says 'other occupants' and it will automatically send them the application to fill out."
"No one else just us." Dad almost sounded sad.
Dad and I make our way outside to the car, Jade in her carseat that dad is holding.
"How much is it a month?" I ask curiously as I try to look at the paper with all of the information he is holding.
Dad pulls the paper away from my line of sight and up above his head, "that's not something you need to worry about." He informs me.
"I just wanna know." I whine.
"Nope." He replies as he puts Jade's car seat back inside the car.
We get inside the car and dad puts the paper on the dash board. I snatch the paper off the dash board to look at it. Dad snatches it out of my hands, "nice try." He says as he puts it back on the dash.
I groan, "why can't I know?"
"Because you dont need to worry about things like that yet." He explains again.
"Are we really going to live there?" I ask.
He thinks for a moment, "Do you want to."
I want our old house, with papa, "I think it's a nice house."
We fall silent for a moment as we drive.
"Hey, dad." I get his attention.
"Hm?" He hums in response.
"If you get full custody does that mean I wont be able to see papa anymore?" I ask.
Dad glances over at me.
His facial expression drops, "no of course not." He replies, "I just want to keep you safe until he can get the help he needs." He explains, "you did the right thing calling me when you did, I hope you know that."
"But he didn't hurt me." I reply.
"He tried to." Dad corrects.
"But he didn't." I add.
"Only because you have good reflexes," he explains, "he could have seriously injured you and Jade if you didn't have such good reflexes."
"Does that mean he doesn't love me?" I ask.
Dad glances at me, "why would you say that?" He asks.
"Because Zack told me if you loved someone you would never intentionally try to hurt them." I point out.
Dad sighs.
"Rian loves you very much," he explains, "he just needs some help right now, he's not himself," he explains, "and until he gets that help it is not safe for you to be around him alone." He sighs again, "I promise he loves you, and he regrets his actions."
My heart felt heavy as I watched the houses and trees pass by the window. It did not take long for us to get back to Jack's house.
"Hey, how'd it go?" Jack asks enthusiastically as we walk inside the house.
"Great, I think we're going to apply." Dad explains.
I walk directly past Jack without a word and sit down on the couch. His smile falters slightly but it does not seem to bother him too much.
"That's great." He says happily to my dad.
"There's plenty of space for the kids, its within my price range, it's not too far from Stella's school, and she can have her own drum room." Dad explains.
"A drum room?" Jack seemed shocked, "that sounds awesome, are you excited?" He turns his attention towards me.
I pull my phone out and shrug not wanting to talk to him. I see his smile drop out of the corner of my eye but I dont say anything. I just decide to mindlessly scroll through my social medias.
Dad set the papers down on the coffee table and walked into the bedroom.
It did not take long for Jack to leave the room. I really wish we could move in to the new house sooner, I really do miss having privacy. I also miss not being around Jack, I have not exactly been too happy to be around him, but I guess if dad has no where else to stay right now.
Dad walked out of the bedroom wearing a nice suit. "You're gonna be here with Jade and Jack, I have to go to court," dad explains.
"What?" I ask confused.
"I'll see you later, I love you." He replies before walking to the door.
"Wait, dad, why are you going to court?" I ask.
"Dont worry about that, I love you, take care of your sister for me?" He replies.
"What's happening?" I ask as I start following him to the door.
He sighs, "we'll talk about this later, I have to go." He replies before walking out the door.
Jade was asleep in her bassinet.
I walked over to Jack's bedroom door and knocked repeatedly till he opened it.
"What?" He looked annoyed.
"Dad wouldn't tell me why hes going to court." I answer.
Jack sighs, "divorce is a lengthy process, especially when kids are involved." Jack replies shortly.
"Is the custody hearing today?" I ask, "why can't I go?"
"Kids usually aren't allowed in court." He replies.
"But I want to know what's happening." I demand, "what if papa loses custody?" I ask, "what if dad does?" I was stressing out about all of the possibilities.
"The judge probably wont make a decision today, theres probably going to have to be at least one more court date." Jack explains.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because the judge needs to decide what custody agreement would work best in this situation," he replies, they might even ask you to make the decision since you're older."
"What?" I was shocked, "I don't want to choose between my dads." I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
"Relax," he replies, "it's going to be okay."
"No it's not!" I yell. Jade starts crying from her bassinet, "it's not!" I repeate, "it's not going to be okay!" I begin to cry.
Jack sighs and walks past me over to Jade, lifting her out of her bassinet and rocking her in his arms. She continues to fuss and cry.
"This is all your fault!" I scream at Jack, "you ruined my life!" I yell before storming out the front door and slamming it shit behind me.
I hear the door swing open behind me and the cries of my baby sister become louder.
"Where are you going?" Jack asks in a panic, "come back here!"
"Fuck you!" I yell.
I did not have a plan. I did not know where I was going I just kept walking.
I just want to be happy.