After that night, Xander becomes unbearable. He gets easily annoy at the mere sight of me. Sometimes, I am just doing my work and he gets irritated by my presence in his office. I wonder what has changed so much. Is he still regretting our kiss?
The hickey is almost gone now and from time to time, I do find myself thinking about his lips on mine.
Currently, we are in the board meeting room, and my gaze keeps drifting back to him. His piercing grey eyes is fixed on the projector. Thank God, I am actually sitting in the dark. I can stare at him all I want.
They are currently planning to go on a trip and because I refused last time, Xander does not asks me to tag along this time. Nina is accompanying him instead.
I feel a weird jab in my chest at the thought of these two together. I try to picture them together and frown instantly. I hate it. My heart skips a beat.
Am I getting attracted to him?
Shit! Yes, I am attracted to him.
The lights are on suddenly and I find him staring back at me. My cheeks goes crimson and I get up instantly.
I find Leila coming out from my cabin again but this time she does not notices me. Once she's gone, I walk inside and find another threatening note. So, this has been her doing all along. For the past weeks, these types of notes have been constant.
Colton did mentioned that he has heard Leila and Nina's conversation. It was something about trying to scare someone. Now, it all makes sense.
She is trying to scare me away because she wants Xander for herself. What a stupid woman! She can have him for all I care.
I had a freaking panic attack because of her for no reason!
God, I need a break from these people. And I need Xander to divorce me. I have to start thinking how to make that happen.
Two days later...
I have not clean the room for two whole days nor let Melissa do it. Xander is a neat freak and when he will see that I have dirtied his room, he might get fed up and divorce me. The bed is all messed up and I have thrown papers almost everywhere. Clothes are lying on the couch and on the floor. I have deliberately messed it all up. Now, I just need for his highness to come back.
It's night time when I actually hear footsteps approaching the room. I am currently eating some apples on the bed when he opens the door. His gaze widens in shock when he sees the state of his room. I bet his cleaning radar is already on red alert at the moment. I can almost hear the sirens coming from his head.
"What the hell did you do to my room?", he demands angrily while approaching the bed.
"Your room?", I say as I take a bite from my fruit. "Our room. This is my room too."
"Clean it! Right now"
"Can't", I shrug and stand on the bed. "Why don't you do it if it bothers you? I can stay like this."
"You messed it up and you will clean it!", he orders angrily.
"Listen Grey", I walk towards him on the bed. "I'm too lazy for all this. I never thought that I would be sharing a room with a man and out of all the men in the world, it just had to be you. A neat freak! So cleaning was never my priority. Marriage was not for me and you dragged me into this mess so why don't you clean it?"
"You love messes anyway", I sit back down. "So clean it or consider divorcing me if you can't stay with me like this. You are a control freak and that's why you are like this so just let me go and you can have your control back again."
He keeps glaring at me and removes his jacket. He rolls his sleeves up and I see his inked forearm. The veins look so prominent. Why is that hot? Why is he so hot?
He starts picking up all the papers. Is he seriously cleaning the room right now? I keep eating which watching him clean every inch of the room in awe. He really knows what he is doing. He knows how to cook, how to clean and he is even good in maths.
"I don't cook, I don't clean, but let me tell you, I got this ring", I sing while eating.
After a few minutes, he approaches the bed and without warning me, he pulls out the sheet, throwing me down on the floor. I glare at him and he glares back.
"I'll take a bath while my devoted husband is cleaning the room", I say just to piss him off.
Minutes later, when I return back from my shower, the room is clean and polished. I can't see even a single piece of paper or dust anywhere. Even, the couch is tidied properly.
The door opens and Xander walks back in. His hair is wet and his clothes are already changed. He really has everything in check.
I lay on the couch and he turns off the light. He really is in control of everything. From his emotions to cleaning his room. I realize that we have barely spoken to each other in the past few weeks.
I miss the comfort of my apartment. My own room, my own bed.
Somehow during the night, I hear my phone vibrating. Picking it from the floor, I see the message. My whole body tenses when l see a message from an old college friend.
Ayla, how are you? It's been a long time since I heard back from you. Anyways, thought I would meet you today. Meredith Jackson has passed away. I hope you know. Today was her funeral.
Hope to hear back from you. Alice
My heart starts thudding loudly in my chest as tears blur my vision. Meredith is dead? I get up quickly, no longer sleepy and walk outside on the balcony. But it's still does not feel enough. I feel suffocated. The air is not cold enough for my skin.
I need to walk out or else I might scream and cry. I glance at Xander before opening the door to leave. I keep walking and finally walk away from the house.
"Meredith is dead. She is dead", I murmur to myself.
I promised to meet her. She must had been waiting for me but I just left and never turned back. She was a good woman. Almost like my mother. And not even once, I met her. I just left her to suffer on her own.
I try to take a deep breath when a sob tries to escape from my mouth.
Meredith was the woman who birthed Lucas Jackson. The man I almost killed. The man who currently is in a vegetative state because of me.
Lucas Jackson was my karma for taking my mother away. Father made sure I paid for this with my blood.
As my punishment, he used to send me at their place from a young age. Meredith was always good to me but Lucas and his father was anything but nice. I think Father knew that Lucas had his vile eyes on me since I was sixteen and he let him ravaged my soul.
Lucas was a psychopath. He was obsessed with me. He is the reason behind my every struggle till this day. The main reason why I always choose to wear black clothes and baggy clothes because almost my entire body have marks.
Marks which he has imprinted on my skin.
I tried to run away from him countless times but he would always find me. And the punishement was always worst. It was either one stab with a pocket knife or I became an ashtray for his cigars. He would touched me everywhere and would often forcefully stripped me off my clothes.
He almost raped me everytime he stripped me but he chose not to at the last moment because he would always ask me to beg for it. It was his sick pleasure. Something which I never did and the punishment afterwards was so worst. He played me like a cat does with a mouse before catching it.
He would starved me and kept telling me I had to earn the food by obeying him. If I ate, he would tell me that I look horrible and Father would be disappointed to see me like this.
So, I stopped eating in the hope that Father would actually start caring for me. I made myself sick to the point of wasting away because I wanted my father to love me. But he never did.
He is the reason why I am afraid of people touching me.
The reason I almost became a drug addict.
The reason behind my disordered eating....
Meredith was the one who usually protected me from him. As much as Lucas was insane about me, he would listened to his mother.
I once told her that Lucas tried to rape me and she talked with him to which he surprisingly listened. Somehow, the words Meredith told him got twisted in his mind. He told her that he will wait until we get married because I was his only.
I became so scared that one day when I found him drunk, I tried to kill him. I smashed his head in the wall countless times and broke a few bottles on his head. I went all mad over him. I saw red. When I finally took the knife to pierce it right through his heart, Meredith stopped me.
She helped me to clean myself up and called her husband, telling him that someone broke in. She destroyed all evidence from the cameras as well. We managed to convince Lucas's dad that we found him in this state and he bought it. He was taken immediately to the hospital where they almost declared him brain dead but turned out he was in a state of coma.
Meredith was a vicitim in her own house like me. She was constantly abused by her husband and poor thing was always scared of him. Yet, she protected me as much as possible. Lucas often listened to her when he was in a good mood and she would used it to her advanatage like shielding me.
But she could do only this much. And now she is gone.
I promised her that I would visit and called her often. But I left without a thought of her. I just wanted to get away from there.
I wipe a few stray tears away and take several deep breath.
She must be at peace now, I try to convince myself to not cry. She is away from violence and pain.
I tried to call Emily but she does not pick up. She must be already sleeping. It's nearly midnight. I see a shop and after buying myself a small box of vanilla milk, I place the straw in my mouth and sip slowly to avoid crying.
I find a nearby bench and take a seat while sipping slowly on my cold milk. It is quite soothing while it goes through my aching throat.
It took only one message to bring back all the repressed memories. And now, I cannot forget them. The memories were mainly the reason why I never went back to meet Meredith or called her. It was too much for me.
My eyes are heavy with tears now.
My gaze remains down until I feel headlights on me. I hear footsteps approaching me.
"Are you out of your goddamn mind?!", I hear Xander's voice and he sounds really angry.
I remain quiet and keep staring down while sipping on the milk.
"I am speaking to you", he finally snatches the milk from my hand.
That's all it takes and I burst into tears. I hide my face behind my hands and start crying my heart out.
"Ayla", his voice is alarm as he sits down next to me. "Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?"
I take a deep breath and try to stop . I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and shake my head.
"What's wrong? Is it your father?"
I shake my head again.
"I'm sorry I took your drink", he apologizes and hands me the little box of milk again.
I sip on it while I cry but this time I can't control my emotions. The tears keep pouring non stop.
"Will you tell me what's wrong?"
I glance at him and find him looking at me with concern. But it's not real. He will make as if he cares then the next day, he will pretend that I don't exist. This is tiring.
"I am tired", I mumble, my voice cracking.
"Let's go home", his voice is soft.
I nod and getting up, he walks behind me making sure I get inside safely. He closes the door behind me and drives us back home.
I throw myself back on the couch when I reach home to avoid him. And luckily, he does not probe further. He keeps the lights on though.