"Are you almost ready babe? We're gonna be late!" I heard Noah shout up at me from the bottom of the stairs.
"Stop rushing me! Just give me two more minutes!" I hollered more frustrated every time he asked. I finished up the wings on my eyeliner and took a step back to give myself a glance over in the mirror. We were heading to a party tonight to celebrate the new tour Bad Omens was starting in two days. Although I felt empty quite often on the inside, I still was able to pull myself together and look happy and presentable on Noah's arm. I was wearing a black, leather skirt, with fishnet leggings that complimented my shiny black Docs with red ribbon laces. I also wore a cut off Bad Omens babydoll shirt and tied my black locks up into a messy bun.
I grabbed my little black purse and came down the stairs not wanting to go to this party tonight but knew I had to show support for them. I just knew there was going to be a ton of alcohol that Noah couldn't wait to get his hands on.
"You look so hot, Eve." Noah smirked as he wrapped his arms around my waist. The goosebumps came over my skin. He still sent shivers through me just with a touch.
"Thank you, sir. Maybe next time you'll stop nagging me to hurry up when I'm trying to look good for you." I joked and I gently pecked him on the lips. Noah was very much taller than me, but the Docs gave me a couple inches and made him easier to access.
"It doesn't take any effort for you to look good Evie." Noah smiled at me and kissed me back giving me butterflies at his compliment. I missed these little moments and was trying to just hold onto it for as long as possible, knowing in a few hours, it was quite possible that other side of him was going to make an appearance.
"Come on. We better go before I just carry you upstairs instead." Noah grinned suggestively and went to open the door for me. I honestly wish we would just stay in like old times and just enjoy each other. But I knew he loved drinking and getting messed up more.
______________________________
We got to the party at Folio's place and were instantly greeted with shots. I had no idea what the clear liquid was, but I knew it would do the job. I threw back one on my own, then Noah wanted me to take another with him. Not before long, Folio brought us some mixed drinks he made for us, and I was feeling lightheaded but warm. The party was packed and one of my favorite songs came on. Folio grabbed me to dance as Noah disappeared into the crowd.
"You guys seem like you're doing okay!" He shouted over the music just enough for me to hear him. I just shrugged a little not sure what to say. Folio just gave me a familiar look in his eye that was bordering both empathy and pity.
"I know he's difficult, Eve...he's a fucking handful. But, I mean...you know...he loves you...more than he loves anyone. He knows you do so much for him, we all know you do....He's just a fucking idiot who can't control himself."
"It's just so fucking hard, Folio. Some days I think if I were to just leave that he would be better off. Maybe I don't help the situation...maybe I'm just adding fuel to the fire..."
Folio shook his head blatantly disagreeing with me.
"Eve, I know he's a shit head, but he's worse without you around. You remember the binge he went on the last time we toured and you stayed here...."
I sighed remembering that he ended up in a hospital and they had to cancel tour dates for a week.
"He's just fucking reckless...but you know you're the best thing in his life. It's fucked up and it's not your responsibility to fix him or baby sit him, but having you here does help, Eve."
I just took in Folio's words and processed them in my head. Noah and I were clearly unhealthily codependent on one another but I was just desperate to try anything if it meant that he would start getting better.
Folio and I danced for a couple more songs until I decided to try and find Noah. On the way, i stopped in the kitchen to talk to a few familiar faces and to make another drink liking the buzz I was feeling. I was side tracked when a friend of Folio's was passing around a thick joint. I stayed there and joked with everyone in the smoke circle, surrounded by a cloudy haze.
I didn't know how long I was standing there for, but I eventually thought to myself that I hadn't seen Noah around in a while. The house was packed but I made my way through the sea of people, feeling an uneasiness in my stomach. Not seeing Noah around anywhere was giving me a weird feeling like I had a hunch something was wrong.
With a drink in one hand and phone in the other, I sent a text to Noah. There no point in calling since it was so loud inside with the music and chatter. I stared at my phone for a minute longer and grew a little frustrated. Even though I knew some people here, I didn't know everyone and I hated that Noah would always disappear on me.
After waiting a few long minutes, I was about to check my phone again when suddenly someone grabbed me around my waist hard and fast, causing me to spill what was left of her drink all over myself !
"Dude! What the fu-!"
"EVE!"
As soon as I got over the initial shock...I realised it was Ryan Sitkowski, an old friend from way back who was currently a very successful guitar player in a band known as Motionless in White.
"Jesus Christ Ryan! You gave me a fucking heart attack! What are you doing here asshole?!" I said shoving him playfully.
I was happy to see my old friend as it had been almost a year since we've spoken.
"We're playing a local show tomorrow night and somehow managed to get here early. Chris got an invite by Folio and we ended up here! Fuck it's good to see you! It's been so long!" Ryan wore the biggest smile on his face.
"Where's your boy? Have you finally told him to get lost so I can actually take you out?" He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively.
Ryan was naturally a huge flirt. There was always a hint of chemistry between us but nothing ever happened past our friendship. The timing was never right but we always remained fond of one another.
"Ha-ha...." I joked.,"He's actually here but I can't find his ass anywhere!"
"Yeah I was wondering who this babe was out here on her own and when I took a closer look I couldn't believe it was you!"
I rolled my eyes and playfully knocked Ryan in the arm. I was never good with compliments.
I let out a sudden shiver as I was feeling chilly now thanks to my drink being spilled all over my top.
Ryan finally noticed.
"Oh fuck sorry! I didn't see you had a drink in your hand when I jumped you!"
"Yeah no shit!" I laughed as I kept brushing my top with my hand hoping it would dry up quickly.
"Come on, let's go grab you another drink."
I looked down at my phone but still no word from Noah.
Ryan linked his arm with mine and led me back to the kitchen so he could make me another concoction of booze.
Ryan and I chatted and caught up for a little bit. I decided to just keep looking around and over my shoulder for Noah.
Eventually while Ryan was found by a few of his friends, I took the opportunity to slip away.
I found the hallway that led to the spare bedroom and the bathroom and I noticed the door to the bathroom was cracked a little bit. As I approached, I heard faint giggling from a woman and my stomach started churning with apprehension. I saw a reflection in the mirror hanging in the bathroom due to the door being ajar and I noticed a full head of chocolate brown hair. I knocked lightly and let the door creak open just a little bit more, then I saw Noah looking back at me in the mirror looking slightly surprised to see me.
It was almost as if my warm buzz was destroyed in that moment, and nothing but pure rage came over me.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted and instantly kicked the door open quickly with my foot just not thinking.
"Chill the FUCK out Eve! God DAMN!" Noah yelled back in a slur. I scanned Noah's face. He was red and his hair stuck to his damp forehead. He had lost the band shirt he was wearing originally and was now in his black tank top that he had on underneath. He looked like he ran a marathon and I could smell the alcohol all over his breath. I looked down at the counter top and noticed a white powder that riddled the beautiful marble.
The mysterious blonde woman that was in the bathroom with us still just awkwardly laughed and kind of rubbed her nose and sniffled.
"Uhm...this is super awkward so....I'll see you around later Noah." She chuckled as she went to leave.
"The FUCK you will!" I spat as she walked past me and out of the bathroom.
When I turned back around, my eyes instantly fell onto his neck, seeing some red lipstick evidently smeared in a few spots over his porcelain skin and colorful tattoos.
"What?" Noah slurred with a stupid drunken smile on his face.
"You uh...you have a little something right here."
Noah looked at himself in the mirror and his eyes grew wide.
I shook my head at him feeling just out right disrespected and disgusted that he would even get into something like this with someone he didn't even know.
Noah from four years ago would never dream of getting into this type of rockstar life....back before Just Pretend blew up on Tik Tok and before the sudden shot to fame....it wasn't long before I saw the spirit in his eyes die out....he was just a shell of himself. I often think of the common suspicion that famous celebrities sold their soul to the devil in exchange for the riches...and seeing Noah transform into a stranger over the last few years convinced me it might be true.
"Shit-...Eve...." He spoke and put his hand under the hem of his tank top and was trying to wipe the lipstick off on his shirt.
My eyes welled up with angry tears hating how I would let this stuff get to me still and I turned around just feeling claustrophobic and needing to get out.
Let's be honest.
We all know I would be lying if I said Noah wasn't one of the most handsome men alive...and realistically, the fans didn't bother me. A lot of days I would see women swooning over him on social media, but I never felt jealous. However, more times than not, some women just didn't care that he was in a relationship and would often cross boundaries on purpose. Noah normally never had an issue turning down these women nicely, but sometimes he would get caught up when he was annihilated and the groupies would try to swoop in on their prey. He could barely stand up straight on his own, but sometimes they still saw it as an opportunity and it was so gross to me. Nevertheless, a part of me was still pissed off that Noah always went too far and had no self control.
I didn't even want to be around him right now, so I shoved my way through a ton of random people I didn't know and Jolly stopped me on the way by him seeing that I was clearly upset.
"Where's fuck face and what did he do now?"
"Oh I just found him in a bathroom with some bitch snorting something up his nose...he's yours for the night. I'm done with this." Jolly's eyes widened and he shook his head just barely surprised anymore. They were all growing tired of baby sitting him and making sure he stayed alive.
"Sorry, Eve."
I just sighed.
"It is what it is."
I stepped out back just needing a breath of fresh air. I wanted to find that stupid girl in the crowd and punch her in the face. The other part of me wanted to choke out Noah too. When I was sure no one was around I sat down in a lawn chair and cried just letting out all of my frustrations. I loved him so much but when he did stupid shit like this it never got any easier.
I was livid. I wanted to scream and cry, and I felt a fire was burning inside my chest. I couldn't stand seeing Noah like that with some girl.
It wasn't long until I heard Noah coming outside in a haste. Before I could tell him to get away from me, he gently grabbed me by the waist and looked deeply into my eyes. The anger was dying out, but it was replaced by a feeling of heart ache. My eyes watered with the feelings I was trying to bury. I could no longer look at him and just looked down to the ground.
"Eve, I know what it looks like, she was just a fan and I was having some fun. I know it was stupid, I-"
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I couldn't help but to cut him off, my voice shaking with defeat.
"I wasn't thinking! Eve please! I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry! I never meant to hurt you!"
Why did he have such a grip on me? I looked back into his eyes. His dark eyes encapsulated in desperation.
Noah grabbed me and held me close in his arms. I didnt want to give in and Noah felt me remain distant to him.
I wiped the tears from my eyes slowly backing away from him really needing space.
"I'm going home." My voice cracked a little bit not wanting everyone to see me like this and I obviously was no longer in a partying mood.
"I'll come with you..."
He tried reaching for my hand but i quickly refused it.
Noah just sighed, putting his head down and rubbing his eyes.
I pushed past him wanting more than anything to just be alone.
I called an Uber and waited outside until it arrived and I went back to me and Noah's place. I was still tipsy and had no other way to get home knowing everyone else was probably more drunk than I was.
As soon as I got into bed, Noah called my phone repeatedly and sent his usual "I'm sorry" texts. Silencing the notifications just wasn't enough so I shut my phone off for the night. I needed to cool off and talking to him in this state was a waste of energy.