Ship/duo/trio: Dreamnap(platonic at first)
Genre: Angst and hurt - comfort
Plot: Dream gets panic attack due to social anxiety but hides it from Sapnap because of some judgement in the past.
Trigger warnings: panic attacks, sexism/stereotypes, mentions of bad exes, talk of alcohol and drugs, mentions of violence, and very lightly implied (past) sexual assult(sapnap just thought something happened to Dream).
AUs: none
Literally just took a request I gave in a different oneshot book written by Spac3_l0ver and wrote it myself💀
Just letting you guys know tho that if you see the request written on their acc we both agreed that we are okay with having the same idea in out oneshot books because our writing styles are different!
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Ah yes. Social anxiety. A very fun, overjoying anxiety disorder. Anyone would LOVE to have it. Yeah no. Dream has it, and he hates it. The thing is, he is such an extrovert. He loves people, and loves being around others, but he HATES crowds. He hates being at big events because there comes a point where people get overwhelming and that's where the social anxiety kicks in.
The thing about his anxiety, is he most commonly gets panic attacks. Some are worse than others, but regardless, they happen. When he was younger, around the age where everyone is ignorant and stupid, he had a girlfriend that he wasn't even sure he really had feelings for. They were in highschool and she told him she was interested and well, he said yes. That's just what you did in highschool. Get asked out, and say yes.
Well, being that they were kids, they lacked education. So when he told her about his anxiety and panic attacks, she didn't respond in the most... open minded way.
"You... huh? I thought, panic attacks and all that stuff was for girls. I thought guys were supposed to be tough or something like that."
Yeah...
Thankfully after a few more just weird and morally wrong things she said, Dream broke up with her. But it still stuck. He still feels like he can't open up about his problems because they aren't "manly". But that comes at a price. He has to hide it now. He has to find a way to escape without bringing attention to himself so he can deal with his panic attacks on his own. He knows logically Sapnap would help him. He knows logically Sapnap is the last person to judge him, but he can't help it. Things like that stick and impact you in many ways. Sometimes that means being illogical.
But eventually his problems have to bite him in his own ass. When he and Sapnap are attending a party. He thought everything would be fine. He took his medication before the party, knew to reduce his alcohol intake to one drink because any more could make his anxiety spike, and he made sure to go outside or lock himself in the bathroom for 5 or so minutes whenever he felt himself getting overwhelmed. He was handling the situation perfectly.
Sapnap was having a good time. He was chatting with friends, drinking, not enough to get completely drunk, but enough that he was losing his filter the slightest amount, and participating in all of the party games.
Dream on the other hand just watched. He spoke with a few of his close friends and hung around Sapnap, but other than that, he was just sitting down, drinking water to sober up from the shots he knew he shouldn't have taken. He could already feel the anxiety spiking, he was bouncing his leg more, picking at his nails, and he could feel that oh so familiar tight sensation in his chest becoming more prominent. He thought he could fight through it for a other hour or so, but instead they decided to start playing loud and obnoxious music that apparently everyone but himself enjoyed. Everyone began to scream the lyrics, or just scream in excitement, and that was the last straw for him. The one string holding his entire body intact snapped, and the panic surged through him. His chest crumpled in on itself and it felt like his lungs had shriveled up like a raisin, yet it also felt as though they were about to burst. He needed to get out of here.
He frantically looked around for an escape, all he wanted to do was leave. He just wanted to calm down, breathe, and go home. Then, he had an idea. He thought that maybe he could just go to the car and stand outside for a bit and once he was calm, he would get in, text Sapnap that he was leaving and that he could leave now, or get a ride with a friend, and whatever response he got would determine what would happen from there. He stood up, not bothering to take his water bottle with him, and made his way to the door.
"Hey man! Where're you going?" A friend asked. Fuck. He did not have time for this right now. "You leaving without Nick?"
"N-nope! Just getting some fresh air," Dream quickly excused himself, gently pushing past his friend and leaving.
Sapnap could see the anxiety on Dream's face. He could see it from across the room. He saw how he flinched when the loud music started blaring in everyone's ears. He could see the way his chest began to subtly rise and fall in a more desperate pattern. He could see the way he wanted nothing more than to shove their friend out of the way when he spoke to him at the door. And that's why he went after him.
"Uhm, I'm gonna go really quick, sorry. It was fun hanging out but I think I'm worn out for the night," Sapnap kindly excused himself from the group of people he was talking to. They were all very understanding and let him go to which he appreciated.
He left the house and his first assumption was to go to the car. He has always known Dream really well. He made his way over towards their car where everyone else parked theirs in front of the rather large house. And there Dream was. But he wasn't his beautiful- uhm, calm self. No. He was frantic. There were heartbreaking tears in his eyes as he desperately tried to pull air into his lungs. He was shaking. He looked terrified. It was scary to see. But he had to take care of his friend. "Clay?" He asked.
Dream whipped his head over to the younger boy and there he was. His eyes were filled with concern. He looked like he wanted to reach over and hold him, but he didn't want to scare him. He looked so unsure. Scared, almost. "Nick!- uhm-" Dream Tried to desperately wipe his tears knowing it was pointless. He still couldn't breathe, everything hurt, there was no point in trying to hide this.
"Clay, what's happening?" Sapnap asked. Yeah he was definitely scared.
"P-panic attack. Can't- breathe," Dream cried. Oh. One of Sapnap's old friends used to get panic attacks. He never had to help her out with any of them but she did give him advice incase something ever happened.
Step one: ask them what they need from you. Some people like to be alone to calm themselves down.
"Okay. Is- is there anything I can do you for you? Like- I can lea-"
"No! Ple-eas don't leave..." Dream begged.
"Okay! Okay, I'm here. What can I do?" Sapnap calmly asked.
"I- I don't know. 'Ve never had someone- w-with- me-.." Dream lost his balance for a second, but luckily Sapnap caught him.
"Okay let's get you sitting down," Sapnap instructed, gently guiding Dream down to the rough, cold ground. "So you were saying you've never had anyone with you during these?" Sapnap asked.
"Mm-mm," Dream shook his head. "Nick- it hurts-"
"I know, Clay, I know," Sapnap comforted. "Do you mind if I touch you?" He asked.
"You- you can touch- but- small," Dream stuttered. Small touch? Sapnap can do small. He grabbed Dream's hand and held in gently in his own. He held it so carefully he was practically cradling it.
"Is this okay?" Sapnap asked. Dream looked as though he was thinking. He lightly squeezed Sapnap's hand and kept the firmer grip. Then he nodded. Okay. They were getting somewhere.
Step two: try to find out what caused it. That can determine how you go forward with it.
"Do you think you can tell me what happened?"
Remind them that telling you is an option.
"You don't have to if you don't think you can," Sapnap was quick to reassure.
"Too many people- got too loud. I don't like crowds," Dream tried his best to explain. That was enough to go off of.
"So you didn't like the amount of people there?" Sapnap quickly confirmed.
"Mm-mm," Dream shook his head.
"Okay," Sapnap nodded. "We're outside now. No one's here, just you and me," Sapnap comforted. Hearing that seemed to calm Dream down a fuck ton.
Step three: calm them down.
"Okay, how can I help you?" Sapnap asked. He sounded so calm and collected when in reality, he could feel himself getting shaky too. But almost as if on cue, Dream rested his head on Sapnap's shoulder.
"'M- 'm sorry you have to deal with this," Dream cried.
"No no, don't apologize. Can you do something for me?" Sapnap asked. Dream looked up at him and nodded. "Can you tell me 5 things you see?" Dream sniffed but nodded.
"Uhm- I see you- and uh..." Dream looked down, "and our hands... I-I see the moon, uhm, th-those flowers, a-and I can see the- the lake from up here," Dream shakily listed. It was kind of difficult to listen to, but Sapnap couldn't care about that right now.
"Good! You're doing great. Now 4 things you can feel?" Sapnap asked.
"Uhm. Your hand, the- the ground, the car on my- my back, and- uh..." Sapnap could see Dream was struggling to find a fourth option, so he lightly squeezed his hand for a second. "And that," Dream lightly smiled. His breaths were slowly evening out. They weren't perfect, but eventually Sapnap noticed how the tears stopped flowing as heavy.
"Now three things you can hear?" Dream nodded.
"The music from inside, everyone screaming, God it's annoying, and your voice," Dream said. No more stuttering. That was promising.
"You're doing so good, Clay. What about two things you can smell?" Sapnap knew that would be a tricky one, but it's what he remembers from his friend's advice.
One of the reasons it's helpful is because of the challenge. It gives us something to think about other than the attack.
Dream seemed to thing for a second, even sniffing a tad. Sapnap found it pretty cute the way Dream would sniff the air and then think. But he can't. No. His friend is in distress, he can't be finding him cute at a time like this! "I think one of the cars here is leaking something because I can smell like- gasoline or some kind of chemical," Dream pointed out, wiping his face dry.
"Oh I didn't notice that before. Yeah it kind of does smell like that," Sapnap lightly giggled.
"Oh, and I can smell that coffee that spilled over there," Dream pointed to a spill that had to have been at least 10 feet away from them.
"You can smell that?" Sapnap looked at him with a look of bewilderment.
"Mhm!" Dream hummed and nodded.
"Are you superman or something? I can't smell that at all," Sapnap giggled.
"Weird," Dream shrugged. It was nice to see him this lively again. It wasn't anywhere near as scary as before.
"And lastly, one thing you can taste," Sapnap said.
"Ugh, vodka," Dream grimaced. He never liked the taste of alcohol.
"Sorry that's kind of hilarious," Sapnap snorted.
"What?" Dream asked.
"The fact that the only alcohol you, a Russian, drank all night was vodka," Sapnap chuckled.
"I had some beer as well! That was just at the start of the party," Dream giggled.
"Yeah whatever. Let's go home, yeah?" Sapnap suggested.
"Yes please," Dream agreed.
"Okay," Sapnap chuckled and stood up, offering to help Dream up to which he accepted. Dream was about to grab the door handle to the driver's seat, but Sapnap glared at him. That was enough to have Dream in the passenger seat.
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When they got home, they decided they would watch a movie and order in for the night. Might as well relax and hang out. But before they could completely relax, Dream had to be sure of something.
"Nick?" Dream asked.
"Yeah?" Sapnap turned his head to look Dream in the eyes.
"Are-... hm. I just want to make sure you're okay after all of that. I know that being put in a position like that can be anxiety inducing, and I just want you to know that if you were at all scared or stressed, it's okay," Dream explained.
"O-oh. Okay," Sapnap nodded.
"So are you okay?" Dream asked.
"Uhm. I-I will admit, it was kind of stressful to see you like that," Sapnap looked down at his hands. Why did he feel so bad about this? Dream was the one who had a panic attack, he should be checking up on him! Not the other way around.
"That's okay. I've helped people out with that stuff before, it's stressful," Dream said. Despite the reassurance, Sapnap still felt like shit. He shouldn't be the one on the verge of tears. He shouldn't be the one to be comforted.
"I'm sorry..." Sapnap apologized. The sight of Dream with tears streaming down his face and desperately gasping for air flashed into Sapnap's mind for a split second, but it was enough to have tears welling up in his eyes.
"What are you sorry for?" Dream asked, placing a hand on Sapnap's.
"You shouldn't have to check on me. I wasn't the one who had a panic attack. I shouldn't be so selfish..." Sapnap sadly said. The feeling of two firm hands on his cheeks caught Sapnap of guard as he felt his face being forced to look Dream in the eyes.
"Nick, you know damn well why I hate when you call yourself selfish. I thought we agreed that you would never do that," Dream scolded.
"Yeah- you're right, I'm sorry," Sapnap lightly giggled.
"That's something you can be sorry for. Being stressed out? Not something to be sorry for," Dream said.
"But-"
"No buts. You're allowed to be stressed out by that. Do you want to talk about it?" Dream kindly asked, removing his hands from the boy's face.
"I-... I was so worried, Clay. I didn't know what was happening for the first minute or so, I thought- I thought someone hurt you," Sapnap blurted out. The tears grew heavier and heavier in his eyes yet he still fought it.
"You thought someone hurt me?" Dream repeated, confusion written all over his face. "Like you thought I got beat up? 'Cause we both know I could fight 'em off pretty easily," Dream lightly chuckled.
"No- no, I know you could. I- you know how parties are. Y'know alcohol, drugs, sex, all that shit. Just- you randomly started getting anxious and then when you ran out like that I-" Sapnap cut himself off with a sob as he had completely given up on not crying. Dream's expression immediately softened from one of confusion to one of sympathy. He knew what Sapnap thought, and he can imagine that being terrifying. "Clay- I never want something like that to happen to you- n-not again..."
"Oh Nick, no! Did you think that the entire time I was anxious?" Dream asked.
"No. But- seeing you cry like that, I- I couldn't help but assume the worst..." Sapnap cried. Dream's heart broke at the thought of Sapnap thinking that.
"Oh god no, Nick," Dream softly spoke, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. "That wasn't the case at all, please don't forget that. God I should have told you so long ago," Dream muttered to himself
"Huh?" Sapnap sniffled. Dream sadly smiled and reached a hand up to wipe Sapnap's tears.
"Nick, panic attacks are a common thing for me. I was diagnosed with social anxiety when I was a teenager, and along with that came panic attacks. I just never told you 'cause of some... not so great responses in the past," Dream explained. "But seeing how concerned you got makes me realize that that wasn't okay. I should have told you, and I'm sorry," He apologized. Sapnap wiped his tears once more and sniffled.
"Why are you the one apologizing now," Sapnap laughed.
"I guess that's just a problem for us," Dream giggled.
"I guess," Sapnap smiled.
"Are you feeling a bit better?" Dream asked.
"Mhm! Thank you," Sapnap hummed, leaning into Dream.
"Of course, Nick," Dream smiled at him. "Okay, you pick the movie, I'm gonna go get some popcorn," He said.
"Oo okay! Are you gonna make them yourself?" Sapnap hopefully asked. Dream made really good popcorn.
"Fuck no. I'm too lazy to do all of that right now. You're getting microwave popcorn," Dream said.
"I just got done crying, Clay. Come on! Don't you wanna shower me with love and everything I could ever want?" Sapnap teased. More than anything Dream thought.
"Why do you say it like that? Are you like- in love with me or something?" Dream laughed. God yes Sapnap thought.
"Psh, no!" Sapnap tried to lie.
"I don't know man, that seemed pretty fake..." Dream said.
"Whatever," Sapnap scoffed. "Because of that, we're watching up."
"No wait, you know that makes me cry!" Dream whined.
"Should have thought about that before you decided to go and yap about some stupid shit," Sapnap dramatically sighed.
"I'm sorryyyy. I take it all back!" I wish I didn't have to.
"Good." Sapnap laughed. Don't take it back, please. "Anyway, we're watching Megamind," Sapnap said.
"There's no way you chose Megamind," Dream scoffed.
"I did, and you're going to suck it up. You said I get to pick the movie, and I did, fuck you." Sapnap replied.
"Whatever." Dream giggled.
At some point during the movie, Dream felt preasure on his shoulder. He looked down, and there he was, snoring softly, fast asleep and- fuck he was beautiful. Dream smiled fondly at him and turned the TV off. He felt pretty tired himself, so he wouldn't mind falling asleep like this. And that he did. He grabbed a blanket from beside him and wrapped it around them, making sure Sapnap was completely covered. He shifted around slightly so they were both in a more comfortable position, and gently wrapped his arms around the younger. Looking down at his peaceful face, he couldn't help but feel a sort of longing for him.
"Thank you..." He whispered.
I love you.
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3197 words
Guys I took so long to write this, i honestly never thought i would-
SIKE
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER?
NUH UH!
HAVE SOME MORE >:)
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In the morning, Sapnap was the one to wake up first. He shifted around and rubbed his eyes, and that was enough to wake Dream up. The room was much brighter than before due to the sun shining through all the windows. They took a moment to completely collect their thoughts and gain full comprehension of their surroundings, but when they did, they were met with awkward silence.
"Uhm- good morning?" Dream said.
"Good morning," Sapnap giggled.
"I- I'm really sorry dude- I was really tired and you were already asleep and-"
"I always imagined you'd be comfy. I was right," Sapnap interrupted.
"H-huh?" Dream hummed.
"You're comfy. Y'know. Warm, firm but soft, you're comfy," Sapnap explained, resting his head back to where it was before.
"Oh. Okay," Dream said. They ended up cuddling for a few more min until Dream spoke up. "Does this mean something?"
"It can," Sapnap said.
"I can work with that."
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3382 words
Okay that's actually the end yall.
Hope you enjoyed! Literally had so much fun discussing this idea with Spac3_l0ver and can't wait to write some more!