Akk laid in his bed with bloodshot eyes and a dazed look on his face. His lids grew tender from the constant crying he experienced these past several nights. Left alone with his thoughts, he kept replaying the events from his last conversation with Ayan.
He feels his heart grow heavy at the realization he's hurt him. It pained Akk just as much seeing the look of disappointment and betrayal on Ayan's face.
He's stupid for thinking such an impulsive "plan" would work. Now he's left waiting for Ayan— hoping he'll reach out.
Sadly, besides the brief messages Kan and Wat would send, Akk's phone was silent— it was agonizing. It was almost worse than the time he spent waiting for Ayan to come back from the U.S. This time, there was no guarantee of a return and that terrified Akk.
When he's finally about to close his eyes and sleep, his bedroom door swings wide open. A booming sound erupts as the frame slams against Akk's wall.
The dark shape of two figures can barely be seen. Before Akk can make guesses as to what's happening, the lights to his room turn on, blinding him.
As the two figures come closer, looming over his bed, their identities become increasingly obvious: it's Kan and Wat.
"Akk, what's going on with you lately?" Wat asks.
Akk sighs nervously, "It seems everyone wants to know something from me..." He begrudgingly sits up and faces the two friends, laying his backside to the pillows against the headboard.
"We're really worried about you," Kan explains.
"Huh? Why...?"
"Look at you. Your eyes are red, you haven't been showing up to the lectures all week...Aye's not telling us anything either..." Kan elaborates, "Actually, ever since he came back, you've been...different. You don't seem like yourself."
Akk, currently sitting upright, feels his body slump forward. He stares emptily at his hands as he tries to think of a way to stop their suspicions. But he's too tired. He can't fight for much longer.
He doesn't even realize more than five minutes have passed since Wat asked his question. The two friend's worries expanded with each empty breath.
"Is...everything alright?" Wat questioned.
That does it.
Akk loses himself. He sobs into the palms of his hands, attempting to hide his emotions from his friends but fails. Kan and Wat do their best to support him by offering soft pats and comforting words. It's barely working.
Akk, now composed, reveals everything: the fight with Ayan, his situation with Mes, and the overwhelming confusion that has enveloped him.
"I know what I need to do but I'm terrified. What if he hates me now?" Akk confesses.
Kan smiles softly while continuing to gently pat Akk's back. "Aye would never hate you. Of course, he's probably confused considering the complexity of this situation but...he cares about you."
Glancing back and forth between both friends, Akk continues to explain his fears. "I worry because...I lied to him for so long about everything."
Wat's voice echoes a gentle sternness, "Then, you need to take the first step and explain yourself. Tell him the truth, don't keep any more secrets. Show him you're ready to be here." He cares for Akk but wants him to understand the consequences of this bad habit.
Offering a similar sentiment, Kan shakes his head in agreement. "As scary as it sounds, Wat's right. Your only option is to stop running away from the conversation. If you really care for Ayan and he cares for you, there needs to be open communication."
Akk thanks his friends for their support and accepts the repercussions of his actions. He absorbs his friend's words carefully, acknowledging the importance of following their suggestions. However, there still lingers this indestructible discomfort for the future.
Leaving no room to think further on this situation, Akk's phone screen flashes. A familiar ring erupts from his phone.
There's a new message from Ayan.
"Hey, are you free tomorrow?"
Another ring chimes.
"Can we talk?"
The atmosphere in Ayan's home was thick with tension as Akk followed behind him and into his room. When they got inside, the space was dimly lit by the soft glow of a desk lamp. The light was casting shadows that danced on the walls, mirroring the complex emotions swirling within both Akk and Ayan.
For a moment, Akk glances around the room hoping to find something to keep his eyes preoccupied in the awkward silence. On Ayan's desk, he spots an old photo Wat took of them together. It was decorated by a collection of golden stars surrounding the frame. In the picture, they were both swaying in separate swings. The smiles on their faces gleamed brighter than any galaxy in this vast universe. A twinge in Akk's chest bloomed at the sight. How he wished they could go back to those fond days right now.
He couldn't predict Ayan's next move. Akk was afraid, struggling to pick his feet up with each slow step forward. All he could do was try his best to prepare for the intense conversation ahead with him now.
Ayan, his expression serious, took a deep breath before breaking the silence. "Akk, we need to talk about what you said that night. I need to know your side of the story."
Akk, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, nodded in agreement. "I... I know. I've been wanting to talk about it too."
Ayan motioned for Akk to sit on the bed beside him. As Akk hesitated before complying, Ayan continued, "I want to understand why you kept it from me for so long...about your feelings and lying about dating Mes."
Ayan appeared apprehensive with his fists clenched and his posture rigid. His emotions of discomfort transferred to Akk easily.
He swallowed hard, his nerves bubbling to the surface. "Aye, I..." he sits in brief silence as he struggles to find the right words.
Ayan's lips curve into a soft smile, signaling Akk that it was okay to share and that he's safe. This was enough to give Akk the courage to confess.
"When I realized I was in love with you, I felt so guilty. I was scared... that you'd hate me or, worse, never want to see me again."
Akk took a deep breath, his eyes welling up with tears as his voice quivered with worry. "I didn't want to admit it. I knew my feelings would only cause you discomfort, and with everything you were going through, I thought it was better to keep it to myself. So, I tried being cold to you, avoiding you— I tried everything to hide my feelings, hoping they would disappear, but they never did."
And like that, it felt like the wall that was built between their mental fortresses, collapsed. Ayan could clearly see Akk now and could see every emotion he had been hiding for such a long time. Feelings of relief and sadness washed over him as he recalled numerous moments where Akk ended calls quickly, behaved in suspicious ways, and how sad he looked every time he saw Keo. Everything finally made sense, but the pain settled in his chest.
Ayan's eyes softened. He reaches his hand out to grab Akk's. "I would never hate you. You should have told me, Akk. Keeping it from me hurt more than the truth ever could." He lets out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry I stormed off when I heard your conversation with Mes...I was confused on how to react."
Akk nods to acknowledge Ayan's thoughts and decisions.
Ayan's body relaxed as his eyes glistened with confidence, "You mean...so much to me, and so do your feelings. No matter the time or place, I want to know how you are... because I care about you."
Ayan hesitates for a moment, soaking in all of Akk's words so far. Despite comprehending the majority of his friend's thoughts and reasoning, he's still confused about one thing: "So, why were you pretending to date Mes?"
Akk wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. "I had no idea Mes told you we were dating when we 'weren't.' Actually, after you left, we talked more and felt it would be best to part ways after the semester is over."
Ayan didn't say anything for a moment, giving Akk the time to explain as much as he needed.
"The reason I told you later on that we were dating...was after hearing Keo suspected my feelings for you. I didn't want to be the cause of any problems in your relationship, so I panicked. It wasn't my intention to lie, but I felt it was the only way to protect our friendship. I was scared of losing you and didn't want to complicate your life even more. I never meant to hurt you but, in the end, I did, and I'm sincerely sorry for that, Aye."
Ayan sighed, pulling Akk into a comforting hug. "You're not causing problems. In fact...it doesn't matter now." He paused before looking into Akk's eyes, "I broke up with Keo."
Akk's eyes widened in shock, guilt intensifying. "What? I'm...so sorry. I feel horrible."
Ayan smiled gently, wiping away the tears on Akk's face, "No, Akk. This was my decision. We broke up because... I'm in love with you."
Impossible, Akk thought to himself.
Akk's confusion deepened, his mind struggling to process the confession. "What? But why? I thought you were happy with Keo." He didn't believe it, afraid to realize his obliviousness.
Ayan speaks softly. "I guess I'm the biggest hypocrite here. I think now would be a good time to take my own advice and be honest with you."
And so, he did. Ayan spent time divulging everything to Akk. He explained in detail the number of years he had yearned for him, the hurt he felt during their time apart, the pain he experienced upon learning about Mes and Akk's relationship, and much more.
"It took hearing your feelings for me to finally tell you the truth." Ayan admits. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief, glad to finally explain himself.
Akk was left in complete shock. All this time, he always thought about Ayan but never expected he would feel the same way about him. He almost felt silly for spending so much time worrying.
His heart skipped a beat as he met Ayan's sincere gaze. The room, once heavy with uncertainty, now felt like a sanctuary for two souls finding solace in the honesty they'd finally shared.
He quickly averts his eyes from Ayan, a rush of nervousness returns.
"So, what do we do now?" Akk asked, breaking the quietude that hung in the room.
Ayan gazed at him, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I think it's time we stop overthinking and start being honest with ourselves. I no longer want to waste any more time. I want to be with you, Akk."
Akk's heart fluttered at Ayan's words. The weight of fear began to lift, replaced by the promise of something more. "But what about everything else? How do we navigate this, especially after everything that's happened?"
Ayan reached for Akk's hand, intertwining their fingers. "We take it one step at a time. The main thing is...we need to be more open and honest with each other. I want to know how you're feeling and be there to help you whenever you need."
Ayan's eyes begin to lightly shine as he continues to share his struggles.
"Akk, I love you and I never want us to experience something as tortuous as this again. If possible, I want you in my life forever. Do you think we can try?"
Akk nodded, a newfound determination in his eyes. "I want that too. I just... I'm scared of messing things up."
Ayan chuckled, squeezing Akk's hand reassuringly. "We'll figure it out together. We can't let fear dictate our actions. We owe it to ourselves to be happy."
Akk stared at Ayan as he awaited his next words.
"Akk, should we get together?" Ayan asks, his eyes begging for him to accept, "hm?" he says sweetly.
The taller friend can't help but feel a big smile grow on his face, "Yes. Aye, I want to be with you." His heart feels full of love and excitement.
Ayan leaned in, brushing his lips against Akk's forehead, and Akk could barely feel the smile blooming from Ayan against his skin.
Boyfriend. Partners. Significant others. No matter the word, they could now consider it theirs to claim. And that excited them.
The room seemed to shrink, the world outside disappearing as Ayan and Akk leaned into the new weight of their reciprocated feelings. They spent the night discussing their fears, dreams, and what the future might hold. Ayan's words lingered in the air, shaping their next steps.
As dusk approached, casting a slowing shade through the curtains, Ayan and Akk found themselves on the cusp of something beautiful—a shared understanding, acceptance, and the realization that they no longer have to hide themselves.
The room was now flourishing with a charged atmosphere. Ayan, unable to contain the growing intensity of his feelings, gently cupped Akk's face, his thumbs brushing over his cheeks.
"It feels so good when I get to spend time with you like this."
His fingers brush lightly against Akk's skin. "Your face is warm just like a warm cup of coffee. And I love it. When I get to look you in the eyes."
The feelings between them deepened, and Ayan's eyes seeped into Akk's, filled with a blend of affection and longing. He can almost see himself in the reflection of Akk's irises, "I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?"
Akk's breath caught, his heart pounding in his chest. Unable to let the words escape, he nods excitedly in response.
Without another word, Ayan closed the distance, capturing Akk's lips in a tender, yet electric kiss.
Time seemed to stand still as they shared that first moment of intimacy. The world outside Ayan's room ceased to exist. A gentle warmth radiated from the kiss, a silent promise to continue.
Akk begins to feel Ayan pulling away. But he wants to keep going, hoping for more. To stop him, he deepens the kiss, testing to see how Ayan will react. Luckily, he's reciprocating eagerly and begins to kiss back with that same intensity.
Slowly, Ayan maneuvers Akk's body, pressing him against the pillows. Never breaking the kiss, he lets his hands slither into the back of the taller friend's hair. Ayan slightly pulls at the strands to give easier access to Akk's neck. He begins to lightly bite at the skin before licking it as an apology for any pain. Sweet puffs of air escape Akk's lips as he attempts to control his breathing. He takes his index finger and bites softly at the skin as muffled mewls come out.
Akk feels his vision going blurry, as his thoughts begin to race with anticipation of what they'll do next. Hearing Ayan's soft moans against his throat and right below his ears sends shivers down his body. His heart is filled with love for the man in front of him.
Ayan's mouth is now latched back to Akk's lips. Slowly, he loosens his fingers from Akk's scalp and glides them across the taller body. They tickle against the thin fabric, causing Akk to jolt with excitement. He doesn't know where to look, almost too nervous to maintain eye contact with Ayan.
Ayan lifts his body up so his elbow is resting on one of the pillows underneath Akk's back. He glances down at Akk, his eyes have become dark, half-lidded and wanting. Ayan softly places his right hand on Akk's chest, rubbing in soft horizontal motions before carefully reaching further down. When the tip of his fingers slips beneath the top of Akk's underwear, Akk says something causing Ayan to pause in response.
"Aye?" Akk pants quietly, not even sure if it was loud enough for Ayan to register.
"Is this okay? Do you want this?" Ayan asks softly.
"Please." Akk nods weakly, his legs becoming like jelly.
And that's all Ayan needs to continue. Quickly, he fully sinks his hand beneath the material and wraps around Akk, causing the ladder to shudder from the sudden contact. With his eyes closed and head tilted back against the pillows, Akk lets himself be carried away by the addicting sensations.
Ayan is gentle yet firm in his movements. His hands are soft while his eyes burn with love. It's overwhelming and Akk can't handle it. He grabs hold of Ayan's wrist, feeling them tense with every movement. Akk's face heats up knowing Ayan is observing his reactions closely.
Akk bites viciously hard on his bottom lip in an attempt to try and hold his voice back but the sounds keep punching their way out. As he's about to cover his mouth with his hand, Ayan kisses him again. Their tongues slot against each other easily, creating shameful noises.
Akk puts his hand against Ayan's chest for a moment, signaling him to wait.
Ayan halts himself, "I'm sorry, Akk. Is this too much? Do you want to stop?" he's afraid he's gone too far. Afraid he's hurt Akk once again.
"I...want..." Akk stutters, sounding embarrassed.
"Hm?" Ayan smiles sweetly at Akk, like he's the most precious thing in the world to him.
"I want to make you feel as good as you're making me feel right now," Akk says with quiet confidence.
Ayan swears he could feel his heartbeat stop in that moment. The scent of iron rushing through his senses from the lack of air he let in.
Akk looks down at Ayan and notices the tenting in his shorts. Akk's intense eye contact causes Ayan to blush with embarrassment.
Akk lets his fingers roam along his boyfriend's body. He begins by gently caressing Ayan's rosy cheeks, then glides his touch to Ayan's Adam's apple before settling on the neckline of his shirt. His fingers playfully hooking his necklace, pulling him closer to Akk's face, his eyes were desperate, quietly begging for more.
"Please, I can make it feel so good..." Akk whispers, looking directly into Ayan's eyes before kissing him.
Ayan doesn't think for a second longer, "Yes, anything you want. Yes." He answers through rugged breaks between kisses.
Briefly separating, both men swiftly remove their clothing, leaving nothing to the imagination. While there were feelings of shyness, the love and excitement overpowered those fears to let them continue.
Ayan shifts their positions, so Akk's legs are divided between each side of his hips.
He pulls the taller one closer to his body and smiles. After spitting into his hand, Ayan wraps himself around Akk's and his own with ease, causing him to gasp and eyes to widen. Ayan's jaw clenches at the sight.
Akk is writhing beneath him helplessly with his legs trembling and chest heaving with every pump. As Ayan slowly grinds their cocks together, Akk is growing delirious from the intoxicating stimuli. Ayan's scent is everywhere. It's overwhelming and he can't handle much more.
Without warning, Ayan crouches forward, once again finding his place near Akk's neck. He kisses down his throat with feather-like touches before asking, "Is this alright? Is this how you want it?"
Akk has completely lost himself in the pleasure. Not even sure if he's still alive or found himself ascending to the world beyond. Weakly, he responds back, "mhm."
"Use your words, please." Ayan says, tugging a bit harder.
"Oh!" Akk jolts. His eyebrows furrow as Ayan increases the intensity of his movements. "Yes. that's...that's so good, Aye."
"That's it. You're doing so well."
Ayan kisses Akk again, his tongue exploring every corner inside him as if he wants to leave behind evidence he was there.
Akk. Akk. Akk. Ayan begins to chant softly, like it's a sacred mantra, a phrase to help him stay focused. At this point, it's the only thing keeping him calm. The sight of seeing Akk so spent is deadly for Ayan, he feels himself growing close to his orgasm. It's almost impossible but he's using all the energy left within him to hold back. Both of them were edging closer with each thrust.
"Akk, I love you...so much" Ayan whispers. A look of adoration glows in his expression.
Akk almost bursts into tears hearing this, "I love you too, Aye." He immediately embraces Ayan, feeling his warmth and feelings radiating through the action.
Ayan quickened his pace, his movements growing aggressive and wild. Akk's breathing hitches as a final choked whine rips out of him.
Instantly, they both felt a snap, fists clenched, toes curled and mouths agape. Ayan could feel Akk's come spread across their stomachs. His thighs shake vigorously as his head is thrown back in euphoria. The sight alone sends Ayan over the edge as he reaches his own orgasm. Suddenly, he loses his balance and collapses on top of Akk.
They lay there for a while, feeling the slowing of their heartbeats. Once they've finally caught their breaths, Ayan helps clean them up and prepares them for sleep.
Now, laying in each other's arms on Ayan's bed, the newly established couple spend time enjoying each other's presence. Their fingers lightly intertwine as they bask in the glow of the moment, smiling and laughing at the overwhelming rush of feelings tonight brings them.
The room is filled with sweet affection and content as they absorb the realization of their shared feelings. Akk's eyes sparkled with happiness while looking at the person he's in love with relaxing beside him. Ayan shared a similar expression as he listened to Akk's soft breaths.
As the night dwindles down, Ayan kisses him sweetly on the lips before whispering, "Good night, boyfriend" into his ears.
Akk is maintaining eye contact with Ayan throughout this exchange. The words tickle his ears with delight as he smiles and says, "Good night, Aye."
The sounds of multiple pedestrian's conversations, the buzzing from nearby cars on the freeway, and roaring street vendors could be heard throughout the busy city.
It's a Friday night. Akk's friend group, along with their respective partners, were exploring the local night market. It was the perfect night to hang out with friends and take advantage of the relaxing weekend ahead.
As the group walked along, Akk and Ayan were in their own world, enjoying a playful conversation.
"I still can't believe you've been in love with me all this time," Akk says, teasing Ayan.
"I mean... I was being pretty obvious. Haven't you noticed how often I flirt with you, Akk?" Ayan smiles.
"Really? Those super cringey jokes were meant to woo me? I see why it took so long now. I guess I was right to describe you in a certain way..."
Ayan laughs, quick to respond to Akk's sarcasm, "But it seemed to have worked because look where we are now, darling." He grabs onto Akk's hand, swinging it happily back and forth. Then, Ayan abruptly remembers how Akk described him before he knew Akk liked him, "Wait...so do you really think I'm annoying?"
"I never expected you to ever find out. I did say you were cute too, though!"
"Akk~!" Ayan whines.
Akk says nothing else but kisses him on the forehead to hopefully calm him down. That does the job as Ayan's smile easily returns.
"There they go again, being all lovey dovey," Kan interjects, shivering slightly from seeing his friends behaving so sweetly. "It's just cruel to all the single people out there."
"Well, it's a good thing you're not then, right?" Thua says while holding Kan's hand.
"Rightttttt!" Kan says with the brightest smile on his face.
It had been a few months since Akk and Ayan admitted their feelings for each other and an even shorter time since they officially told Kan and Wat about their relationship.
In the beginning, Kan and Wat felt somewhat offended that Akk hadn't told them about his dilemma sooner but easily understood his reasoning and discomfort. They also felt the two learned their lessons about hiding things and considered it punishment enough for worrying them. They were just glad the two managed to come to a mutual understanding after watching them tip-toe around the other for so long.
The group seated themselves at a table with weathered metal stools. They laughed and chatted animatedly as they chowed down on delicious food.
Akk found himself smiling while he watched Ayan happily enjoying his time with friends. He's thankful to spend a joyous moment like this with Ayan after all the months of pain and torment they both experienced in the near one-and-a-half year they spent avoiding each other.
Ayan could feel Akk staring at him so he turned his attention to his boyfriend. He couldn't stop himself from sharing a similar glee-filled expression and leaned his head onto Akk's shoulder. Their hands find a way to each other and the two indulge in the sweet moment together.
With each passing day, Akk and Ayan were excited to see what their future held. The world felt lighter, knowing they could continue sharing more days filled with laughter, tears, and new hopes. As they continued spending time with their friends throughout the familiar city, they smiled fondly at each other, whispering soft 'I love yous' and sharing kind kisses.
They were happy to be in each other's spaces and looked forward to enjoying more experiences.
**Author's Note:
Thank you all so much for reading my fic to the end! This has been so much fun to work on. It's crazy to think I started this out as an incomplete dream I had. It wasn't until my friend encouraged me to create the story that I was able to do this, so thank you!!!
Teaser/Spoiler for my next project, I'm planning to do another AkkAyan fanfic. It'll be a baker AU! Hoping to write it out soon~!