!!!TW!!!
Mention of suicide
CHAPTER 29
He looks into my eyes. I look down at him.
He hates you now. You've ruined everything.
'S-sorry' I say, unclasping him. 'Sorry'.
'Hey it's okay, it's alright' he says, running up behind me. 'I don't mind!' I look at him.
Liar.
'Yes you do. Don't lie'. I say bluntly, sitting down on the bed. He tentatively sits down next to me.
'Is it because I said I loved you?' I look at him, confused. But then, the lightbulb switches on.
He told you that he loved you and you didn't even notice.
'N-no' I stammer, staring at the floor. 'I just...' I begin to rock gently. 'It's okay Sho, it's fine'. This angers me.
'But it's not fine though, is it?' I say, looking around at him. 'You've been nothing but kind to me, and I've been nothing but horrible to you.'
'But, it's not your fault.' He says. 'You're not well at the moment'.
That's all you are. Anger and coldness.
'But that's not a reason to continue to take my bullshit. Just because I'm fucked doesn't mean you should put up with me'. I tuck my knees to my chest.
You're broken.
'Please go' I say quietly. 'Are you...is this...are we...is this a break up?' He stammers.
He needs to be free from you.
'I just don't think I'm a good fit for you' I say bluntly. There's a pause.
'What do you mean?' He asks shakily. 'Well, you deserve someone who loves you. And I don't think I'm capable of love.'
'But you are' he whispers. I shake my head.
'All I feel is anger and coldness.' There's another pause. 'That's not true.' He says.
I turn around, looking him in the eye. 'Besides, we both know that there's someone else that you love more than me, right?'
He doesn't deny it straight away, and that's all the confirmation I need. 'It's more complicated than that' he says. I sigh, getting under my blanket.
'Whatever.' I curl up into a ball, staring at the wall. He continues to sit there, unmmoving. 'Was I not enough?' He says after a long pause.
'What do you mean?' I ask.
'You tried to kill yourself. Was I not enough?' The words strike me like a chilling blow, I roll over, sitting up.
'No. You were enough. You were always enough. The problem is I wasn't enough.'
He begins crying again. 'Why do you hate yourself so much?' He says between sobs.
'The question is, why don't you?' I respond.
You are the single most disgusting person that has ever been born.
He leans into my side, but I make no attempt to console him this time. It's not my place. It's now somebody elses. Somebody else that is able to feel heat, joy and love. Somebody who has passion drive, and most importantly, who Midoriya genuinly loves.
He continues sobbing into my shoulder. We sit there for a little while, until Midoryia finally cries himself to sleep. I gently put him under the covers, and lie down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.
You don't even deserve a bed.
I know.
-morning-
I wake up, and immediately notice that Midoriya is gone. I look at the window, and see that the bars have been moved back into place. Must've left in the night.
I get up from the floor, and sit on the bed. It still smells like Rosemary.
I open my phone, and am met with a tirade of messages.
Elphaba: What the hell did you say to Deku? He's been crying non-stop!
Tongue 4 Dayz: What happened??? Deku's a mess?!
Exploding Dandelion: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY ICYHOT
Pikachu: Dude, are you okay? What's happened?
I sigh, turning off my phone. I'm actually kind of relieved that everyone's treating me the same. Or maybe it's because they don't know what happened.
There's a knock at the door. 'Yeah' I say, and it unlocks, revealing Mic.
'Hey Sho, how'd you sleep?' He asks.
On the floor.
'Decent' I said. 'Well, I've made some breakfast, wanna join?' I'm not really hungry, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
'Sure' I say, smiling. I follow him into the kitchen.
'Shouldn't you be at UA?' I ask. He smiles. 'Well, I think it's best is one of us is home for a little bit. This week is my week! And I'm very excited!' He says with a grin.
Yay. he gets to babysit your suicidal ass.
'So who's teaching English?' I ask. 'Got a substitute' he smiles.
You're ruining everyones schedules. Escpeically when Aizawa babysits you. Who's going to train them?
I try and shake the thoughts out of my head. 'Here you are!' He says, plopping down a plate with eggs, bacon and toast on it.
'Thanks' I say, staring at it. 'Oh, I almost forgot!' He says with joy, clapping his hands. 'Today is cat day!' Cat day?
Oh yeah. I get a cat. I force a smile. 'Cool, thanks' I say. Mic continues cleaning up.
'Mic?' I ask. 'Yeah kiddo' he says, not turning around. 'Does everyone know?' I ask. He immidiately stops what hes doing, and slowly turns around.
'N-no. Well, not exactly'. He pauses, and I can tell he's trying to find the right words. 'Obviously myself, Aizawa, Hitoshi know, as well as Midoriya and...Backugo'.
'Oh'.
You nearly killed him you villain.
'Do you, did he say...' I trail off. Mic pulls up a chair, sitting next to me. 'I'm not going to lie to you Shoto. He told us everything'.
You are a villain.
I look down, avoiding his gaze. 'But! We know that you weren't thinking properly. That's what Backugo told us'.
He defended me?
'So what has everyone else been told?' I ask with sincerity.
'Well, just that you went for a late night walk and lost control of your quirk' he says matter of factly. I smile. He laughs.
'I know, not very believable, but that's what we're working with' he says.
'I'm sorry' I say. Mic pulls me into a hug. 'It's okay Sho. Besides, this isn't my first suicide rodeo'.
I pull away, looking confused. He smiles. 'Do you know how we came to adopt Hitoshi?' He asks. I shake my head.
'Well, Aizawa was out doing hero work. He was following some drug trafficking villain, and he saw a boy wander into the woods. Something didn't sit right. So he abandoned the villain, and followed the boy. He lost him pretty quickly, so began searching for him. Eventually, he found him...well...you can imagine'
I gasp. That's horrible. 'He pulled him down, and ran with him to the nearest hospital.' I guess that explains why Aizawa was so cut up about my attempt.
'I'm so sorry, I had no idea'. I mumble. 'It's okay, you didn't know' He says. 'Are you sure me being around Hitoshi is the best thing right now? I mean, considering his past and everything' Mic sighs.
'We did discuss this with him, but he's determined to help. And we think it could help him too, but for now, he's staying at the dorms in the teacher's flat with Shota'.
You've pulled this family apart. They are broken because of you.
'Okay' I say, but it comes out hollow. Mic suddenly stands up. 'THE SAUSAGES' He cries, running over to the oven. I watch him grab the gloves and hastily pull out the tray.
My phone buzzes.
Natsuo: I'm really sorry for the way I acted. Can we talk?