tw/ miscarriage
Calum
When I got home, Charlie came downstairs to greet me, and gave me a hug which was nice. She looked a little pale, but seemed cheerful enough.
"How are you doing, honey?" I asked, gently rubbing her back, "Was school okay?"
"Yeah. I am good. What's in your bags?"
"The things to take to Maddox, if you're still up for it!"
"Oh, yes. I will get my shoes on. Well, please can you help me get my shoes on. I feel a bit dizzy today,"
"Oh dear. We will make sure to rest tonight but if you feel like it in the morning then we can always get you checked out,"
"Okay,"
"Have you eaten much?"
"Not really. I felt a bit nauseous,"
"Oh bless you, that might be it. I'll make us tea later on, but theres lots of snacks if you just need to keep nibbling,"
"Nibbling is a funny word. Like I am a hamster,"
"Yeah," I laughed, "I got us a gift bag,"
I put it down on the stair beside her and she helped me fill it up, then we got in the car and drove to their house. I wasn't sure if unexpected guests were going to be appreciated, so I did warn Charlie it might be a flying visit but she was happy with that.
When we got there, I rang the doorbell and I saw Gabi peek out the curtain, then she opened the door and let us in, looking very flustered.
"We just wanted to drop this care package off for Mads,"
"Oh. Thank you,"
"How is she?"
"Ern. She is fine," she said, wiping her nose.
"Have you been crying?"
"No," she said, her voice wobbling.
"Charlie, why don't you go and wait in the car? I'll be there in a few minutes,"
"Okay,"
"Maddox will really appreciate this," Gabi said, hugging her, "Thank you,"
I gave Charlie my keys and she left, so I gently hugged Gabi, scratching her back.
"What is going on sweetheart?"
"It's fine,"
"It doesn't sound fine. You know you can always tell me anything in the world,"
"I can't bring myself to say it,"
I closed my eyes and sighed, hugging her a little bit tighter. I knew. I knew it was about the baby. I could just tell.
"Where is Maddox?"
"In bed,"
"It's gonna be alright. What we need to do is get Maddox to see a doctor, would you like me to help out?"
"Yes please,"
"Okay. You pack a bag, I will go and see her,"
I kissed her forehead, then went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door, waiting to be called in. My heart was shattered for them.
Maddox was sat on the bed with her knees to her head, tissues screwed up all round her. The blinds were shut, and it was incredibly stuffy.
"Hey sweetheart," I said quietly, "I heard you aren't feeling good?"
She broke down into tiny cries and I sat next to her, letting her melt into my hold. Maddox and I had become really close the more the pair of them grew up, and I definitely saw her as my niece alongside Gabi.
Gently, I rubbed her arm for a bit, letting her get it all out her system, although it looked like that had already happened.
"I think we need to get you to the hospital and get checked out,"
"No,"
"I think so," I said, almost whispering.
"I don't want them to confirm what we think,"
"I know, but we need to make sure you are okay too,"
"I don't wanna hear them say it,"
"I know," I said, rocking us back and forth, "I know,"
"They said my uterus wasn't very good but I thought maybe it would be fine. After all those needles, and a positive test, and- and we told everyone,"
"Well lets go and see what the doctors say,"
"I know what they are going to say!" she shouted.
She pulled away from me and looked away, drying her eyes.
"Sorry... I just. Why? This is so shit,"
"You don't need to apologise,"
Gabi appeared at the door with a tote bag, then hugged Maddox, pulling her to her feet.
"Come on. Calum is gonna take us and then we can get a taxi home, and order your favourite food, and cuddle all night,"
"I don't wanna go,"
"I know. We need to. I need my Mads to be okay above anything else,"
They cuddled, Gabi scrunching her face up over her shoulder to stop herself crying, then we all went downstairs and they got in the car.
"We are just gonna take them to the hospital then we will go home and make sure you are okay too," I said, gently feeling Charlie's head, "You feel a little warm,"
"Yeah I don't feel too good either,"
"Oh bless. Let's get going,"
Our drive to the hospital was silent, and I dropped them by the entrance to make sure they got in safely. Driving home was pretty silent too, and I sent Charlie to lay on the sofa when we got home.
I cooked something easy, then took some through to her with some water and we ate on the sofa.
"Calum... is Maddox okay?"
"I think unfortunately, she might be having a miscarriage,"
"Oh. Oh god. Oh god," she said, tearing up, "They were so excited,"
"I know. It is a big shame, but they are very strong and I know they will get through it,"
"That must be the worst feeling in the world, they were really excited. They deserve to be parents so much,"
"They do, and they will get the opportunity at some point. It is a really unfortunate situation, and the best thing we can do is be kind to them, and patient,"
"Am I allowed to be sad right now?"
"Of course you are. I am really sad too,"
She shuffled into my arms and started to cry, so I held her tightly, finding myself tear up. The world was cruel, and it seemed to be particularly cruel to Gabi.
"This is so unfair,"
"It is,"
I stroked her back until we both calmed down a bit, then she excused herself to go to bed. I pretty much followed, and put the tv on, anxiously watching my phone for an update. I didn't get one, so assumed bad news and decided to go to sleep.
In the morning I didn't feel too great. I was quite heartbroken, after seeing how happy they were, and being excited myself to have a new baby of the family. Charlie was pretty upset too, so upset that she came into my room unprompted to come and see me.
"Heya honey,"
"I couldn't sleep and I feel sick,"
"Shall we get you checked out?"
"Yeah,"
"Let me get dressed and we can go,"
"I am just gonna sit here," she said, sitting with her back to me, "I think I just have a cold,"
"Probably, but I would rather you get checked out. I need to find out what doctors you are signed up to,"
"Can't I see Michael?"
"If we can go to the gp it will be better,"
To my surprise, she just said 'no'. Just one word. I wasn't sure I had heard her only say one word other than perhaps 'okay'. I finished getting dressed, then say beside her, watching her stare at her feet as she took deep breaths.
"It is much better not to go to the hospital if you're not in an emergency,"
"I just feel like something is wrong,"
"I think you might be shaken up a bit,"
"No, I think something is wrong. You are my grown up. You are meant to listen to me. Please be my grown up,"
"Charlie, I am being your grown up. It will be much faster seeing your regular doctor to make sure all you have is a cold,"
"But they can't check my babies,"
"They will be able to listen for heartbeats if you would like," I said, gently taking her hand, "Everything is probably all catching up on you, thats all, it is almost your second weekend here,"
"I hope Maddox is okay,"
She got really upset again, and I wasn't in a good mood either, so I found myself also tearing up as I hugged her. Right now there were several vulnerable people in my life that did not deserve the stressors life were giving them one bit. It was almost worse than seeing best friends hurt, because they were all so young. We were meant to help things get better for them and when that was out of control it was so overwhelming.
And I was also really upset because I knew how amazing Gabi and Maddox would be at raising a kid, and yet again it was like Gabi was being reminded things were too good to be true.
"Lets not bother them today, but maybe tomorrow I will ask if we are welcome to come and see them, even if it is just to drop off some groceries or something, so we can help them out,"
"Yes please,"
"Alright. Let's go and make sure you are okay. Hopefully we can get some medicine to help,"