Wolf: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours.
Ria: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia.
Kel: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred.
Ruby: You guys are fucking terrifying.
Wolf: Give me everything you've got!
Kel: All your friends secretly hate you.
Wolf: Wait, what?
Kel: I've got anxiety.
Ruby: You know what I've realized?
Ria: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?
Ruby: Nice try, anyways-
Ria: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.
(I relate-)
Kel: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!
Wolf: I haven't seen Ria and Ruby for fifteen minutes now.
*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Ria and Ruby running after it in a panic. Wolf doesn't look outside at all.*
Wolf: That probably means they're getting into trouble.
Ria: Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
Wolf: Why would I be kind? I will be brutal and relentless and ride into battle by their side!
Ruby: Is... Is that meant to be on fire?
Wolf: No... not really.
Ruby: Are you going to do something about it?
Wolf: Hm... nah.
Kel: What are your adjectives?
Ruby: ...You mean my pronouns?
Kel: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?
Ruby: ...I dunno. What are yours?
Kel: Noisy and chaotic!
Ruby: I've never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.
Ria: Wolf, I am questioning your sanity...
Kel: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
Kel: I've been described as a 'heartless villain' and a 'little shit', but I prefer... 'has alternative ways of having fun'.
Ruby: Remain CALM! *slaps Wolf multiple times*
(💀)
Ria: If Ruby and I were drowning, who would you save?
Kel: You two can't swim?
Ria: It's a hypothetical question, Kel! Who would you save?
Kel: My time and effort.
Ria: So, are you two friends?
Wolf: Yes.
Kel: No.
Kel: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Ria, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Ria: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.
Wolff: Uhh.. Kel just asked if we want to...
Wolf: "Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?"
Ruby, not even looking up from their phone: They're asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Wolf: Oh, that makes more sense.
Wolf: I'm scared that when you become rich and famous you'll be embarrassed by me.
Kel: Oh Wolf, I'm already embarrassed by you.
Kel: This is a bad idea.
Ruby: Then why are you coming along?
Kel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.
Kel: Damn, the power went out.
Ruby: Don't worry, I got this.
Ruby: *stomps foot*
Kel: What-?
Ruby: *Sketchers light up*
Wolf: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Ria: Blocked.
Wolf: Sometimes, they're good girls!
Ria: UNBLOCKED!
Ruby: I didn't want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Wolf do it!
That's all for today bitches I wanna climb a tree now byeeee