Tanya's hens party was probably the first time I've been able to socialise properly with women around my own age. The wedding was in 5 days and to take the stress off of the preparations (despite her having multiple event planners) the party was on a yacht in Malibu. Yes we and the 174 other girls flew to Malibu for one night on a yacht. Tanya's party was no where near as crazy as what Nicholas or should I say, Antonio had planned for their bucks party. From what Alex had told me, they were going on some sort of obstacle course which starts with drag races followed by a maze with black walls where everyone had to splatter themselves in glow in the dark paint. And for the final course, an every man for themselves paintball experience, in which the winner wins a cash prize.
"Thats like wayyy too excercise though, I can't believe they're even that bothered to do all of that" The red headed girl sitting next to me complained.
"I'm sorry but how are you apart of the mafia with that attitude?" Another girl, Cindy, with a cropped blonde bob snickered.
"I'll have you know that my Father works as Alejandro's personal lawyer therefore meaning that my family are automatically apart of the Spanish mafia" The red head brags.
I smirk, "I'm pretty sure my Father wouldn't like the fact that you're spreading his personal information, after all who is lawyer is confidential information" I tut and pluck an olive from the toothpick in her drink.
She gapes at me, mirroring the expressions of all the headless chickens sitting in the hot tub with me, "You're like Alejandro's daughter?".
Tanya props herself on the edge of the hot tub, "Yes Carmen, she's my sister-in-law. I mean considering you pry and poke your nose in places you shouldn't concerning my family and the fact that you have a major infatuation withmy fiance then I'd at least expect you'd know about Athena, no?" She pouts and tilts her head, the red head only just gaped like a fish out of water- lost for words.
Tanya rolled her eyes and turned her focus on me, "So, how's everything going with Cruz going?", she wiggles her eyebrows and my eyes widen. Trying to gather my words she wraps an arm around my neck, "It's okay if you guys have fucked, it's not like Mateo will know", a smirk falls onto her lips.
I gape at her, "We're barely a thing and for the record no we have not fucked!"
"Wait you're dating Cruz?", Carmen squaked, "How is Cruzie, I've missed him soooo much", she taunts.
Tanya narrows her eyes at her and the tips of her lips perk up, "As a matter of a fucking fact yes they are. You really need to get over Cruz, the same way you're trying to get over your crush on Nicholas", Carmen glares at Tanya and I decide to add fuel to the fire.
Looking at her bitchy face, I licked my lips and smirked, "Well, I didn't know we were going public so soon but yeah I guess you could say that me and Cruzie-Woozie are a thing" I sip on my cocktail, reveling in her non-verbal bitch fit.
Tanya squealed, "Oh my God! I love this song we like have to go and dance to it!", she grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the water as We Found Love started playing.
I smiled and shook my head, "I can't dance, I'm in a bikini and am soaking wet!"
She scoffed playfully, "Yeah but so is like everyone else here, come on you need to let lose a little. Plus, there's no men to attract so consider this a safe space" Tanya let go of my hands and held hers up in the air whilst doing a little spin. Giving in, I sighed and followed her down the stairs where she was walking backwards down them waiting for me to follow.
Tanya grabbed a random drink off a tray, gave me a wink and started moving her body to the music. I laughed at her "moves" and gasped when she grabbed my hand and forced me into the crowd of bodies and forced me to move as well. By the time I had started getting comfortable with dancing, Shut Up And Drive was playing and I squealed with all of the other girls as the dj cranked up the music to a new high.
Somewhere throughout the chours I had lost Tanya and had a new dance partner with curly hair and coils of hair tinsel, who kept trying to grind on me. I had to laugh it off and grab another girl who looked similar to me so she could replace me with tinsel hair's interesting dance techniques.
Drinks I don't even remember grabbing piled into my hands which I willingly downed like tequila shots. The fuzzy feeling of the alcohol in my system comforted me and eased away all prior anxiety I had ever felt. Swaying to the music whilst everyone else jumped and moved fast, soaking in the moment I closed my eyes and smiled with my mouth closed at the bright lights which shone in my face.
The protection of alcohol didn't last long, with an anxious feeling returning as if someone was watching me. Opening my eyes I frantically scanned around me, my eyes landing on a brunette who unlike everyone else, wasn't wearing a bikini. Squinting at her I leaned forward, accidentally falling into another girl. By the time I had gotten up, the girl was yelling at me about something but I kept my eyes focused on the brunette was was pushing her way through the crows towards the exit.
Picking up a pace, suprisingly well considering my lack of soberness, "Hey!" I yelled at the brunette who glanced over their shoulder for a brief second.
"Please, wait. I just wanna know who you are!" I yelled at her over the music. We had finally escaped the crowd and I realised she was leading me to a section of the yacht that I hadn't seen yet. "Just wait, fuck!" I yelled and held a hand to my head as pain pounded and thumped. Forgetting about the brunette, I winced at the pain and let out a groan.
The footsteps stopped and I heard a heavy sigh, "Jesus, put some clothes on at least" The brunette unzipped her jacket and threw it at me. Keeping one eye closed to stop it from watering, I looked up at her and gaped dumbly just as the red headed had did to me before.
Frozen, I thought of what to say but the words were stuck in my throat, "Cass?" My voice was small and I couldn't help but tear up, partially because I was drunk and partially because I was overwhelmed.
"Good to see you too" She scoffed.
My heart broke at the harshness of her words, "Are you mad at me?"
Her facade dropped and she sighed, "Fuck I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be here. I mean if anyone sees me I'm like dead"
I laugh weakly, "Everyone's too drunk to care"
She raises her brows amused, "But seriously, it was a mistake coming"
"Why did you come?" I wrapped myself in the jacket tightly, anticipating her response.
"Why do you think?" She deadpanned.
I winced, "Cass don't start this psychological-double-meaning shit, just tell me why you're here. Without the use of riddles and empty words"
She rubbed her forehead, "We've, I've been trying to monitor you as much as possible to see if you're okay and I just really needed to see you in person. To make sure it was all real" Cass looked at me hopelessly.
My features soften again as I look deep into her eyes to scan for any truth and either she's a good liar or being genuine, I feel myself falling for her words, "Why would you guys actually care about me? I mean first of all I was fucking sold to the mafia which resulted in being forced to train to kill people! And then I was thrown onto all of these missions that scared and tormented the shit out of me all whilst having a fucking shock collar on my neck! And you all are just okay with that lifestyle? Every single one of you just fucking shrugged it off, kicked it under the rug and acted like it was normal. Well guess what you sadistic freaks, it's not fucking normal. I don't care if it's your reality but it was never mine and the least I'd expect is some sympathy not God damn friendship!" My breathing becomes heavy as my chest rises and falls, "Look it's really sweet of you to come and pay a visit but don't act like you fucking care, I have my family now and for the first time in 19 years I actually feel fucking safe."
My upset demeanour drops and is replaced by nothing but hurt. As much as I appreciate the risk, the more I look at her the more I am reminded of everything I've been through.
Cassandra's P.O.V
This was a mistake.
The first fucking time I consider going out of my comfort zone and this is the result. Nobody knew I was coming here tonight, considering the planning going on I knew that telling the rest of them about my excursion would only lead to more unadded stress. But I needed to see her. I can't tell you why I feel this urge to see her but I genuinely did care of her despite the few months we had. I'm only a year older, but I don't know I feel this maternal instinct around her. Like when I see her I feel the need to protect her in a way that I was never able to protect Tess.
Athie scans my eyes again but I'm frozen and am giving everything in me to keep myself from crumbling, "It's just that the sight you reminds me of everything I went through, and honestly it torments me". And just like that I break.
I don't think anyone has ever looked at me the way Athena is looking at me right now. There's really no way to desribe it but the fire in her eyes burns of the hatred of all the anger in the world. And yet somehow I undestand, everyone who comes into contact with this industry are or become very broken people. I don't blame her for hating me, sometimes when you're so anger ridden you blame anything that moves. A part of me wants to give in and think that maybe I could of helped her, but I know all too well what happens when you try to interfere in a situation like hers.
"Athie no" I reach out a hand but she only takes a step back.
"Why did you really come", her glare hardens and I stiffen up as we watch two girls drunkenly stumble down the stairs and giggle at us. Athena turns her glare on them and they flip her off and turn back around up the stairs.
"He's falling apart without you" I inhale deeply, the salt ocean air intoxicating my lungs, "No one else has noticed, I don't think, but that's because he's too damn good at hiding it"
She shakes her head, "Don't change the topic, why are you here!"
I take a step closer to her, "He's drinking more than usual, when he isn't distracting himself with work he spends his time at clubs and no one sees him until the next day when he's working again and I have to pull him back into shape. The worst part is that he won't let anyone see him be vulnerable and that's what's destroying him"
"Stop it, just stop Cass"
"He's a brother to me and I've seen it all when it comes to him. Or so I thought because never have I seen him in such a state"
"Just be quiet Cass, you don't know what you're talking about!"
"Yes I fucking do!"
"No you don't" Her voice breaks, "We had nothing, we are nothing. There isn't even a we, Mateo is nothing to me as I am nothing to him. When we were in that warehouse together, I played him just so I could fucking stay alive. And you know what, I don't even feel guilty about it. Because I actually do not care about him!"
I flinch slightly at the words, not because of her harshness but because I know that if Mateo heard what she said, that it would be the final straw for him, "You don't mean that"
"I do"
I don't believe her, "No you don't"
"Why does everyone think they know me? Am I easily readable or something because I don't understand why I am the last person to decide how I feel", Athena's eyes glisten with tears and I instantly regret coming because I did not expect this outcome.
"Athena please" I try to calm her.
"I'm fucking engaged Cassandra! And before you say anything yes it was my choice. I met someone who loves and cares for me and I don't think I could be happier. So please don't make me overthink by mentioning Mateo"
The world stops moving for a few seconds, my breathing becomes shallow and I start pacing, "Is it real?"
"Yes the fucking engagement is real!", she montions her hands in the air.
I shake my head, "No, is it really love?"
Her eyes narrow, "What do you know about love?"
I feel my eyes water but I blink rapidly to die them down, "Enough to know that you can't fall in love with somebody that quickly"
Athena scoffs, "Mateo and I could of never been in love and we never will be"
The words hang heavy in the air. My mind screams at me, asking me why do I even care about them and honestly I don't know how to reply back to it.
"So you're going to tell me that after everything you didn't feel anything?"
Her facade drops for a split second but she covers it up quickly, "I haven't felt anything since I cried coming out of the womb"
Fuck Cassandra, pull yourself together, "Athena please, I didn't mean to upset you"
She cuts me off, "Oh and you're sorry too, aren't you?", she laughs bitterly, "Because they all are but as much as everyone tries to understand I don't think they can understand that I don't care for their pity"
"I don't know why I bothered coming"
"Yeah I don't know why you bothered either", I nod my head at that and bite my cheek. This whole thing is an absolute shitshow and I can't believe I was stupid enough to even show my face here. I stare at Athena hopelessly, this is the first time we've ever talked to each other and it's resulted in a mess.
"I wish you nothing but the best", I give her a sad smile and walk off to where I've got a small boat waiting for me.
As much as she wants to deny it, Athena knows deep down that there is something between her and Mateo. The way he looked at her, it was with such awe that I don't think that I've evre seen actors in movies look at anyone that way. Maybe she was oblivious to it but the I noticed how Athena was more comfortable around Mateo and how he was softer in return unlike all the little flings I've seen him have throughout the years.
Soft footsteps follow behind me as I continue walking but I ignore them and prepare myself for the descend to the boat. Staring at the night sky for longer than needed, I close my eyes and exhale a shaky breath to calm myself. As I open my eyes I feel two arms wrap around my waist and pull me into a hug. I turn around to see Athena crying into my shirt, soft hiccups escaping her lips between breathes. Keeping silent, I smooth out her hair and return the hug.
"I'm really fucking scared Cassie", she mumbles.
"That's okay" I hum back and tighten the hug. Her breathing becomes jagged and I can feel the tears soaking into my shirt. The ocean air begins to slap my back, droplets of water like a million daggers penetratung my skin crashes onto my exposed skin. And yet I pay it no attention, instead worrying about the girl in my arms.
"I thought that I finally escaped everything but I was wrong Cassie, I was so wrong. I think I'm safe but I'm sick of never having closure"
"It's going to be okay"
"What if it doesn't? How do we know that this isn't the last time we see each other?", she looks up at me and I inhale sharply.
"Trust me, you can't escape me that easily", I send her a wink, "You'll see me around"
Athena sniffles and looks down at the boat, "You should probably get going"
I nod slowly, "Yeah"
We both look back at a corridor, reflecting the party going on before us. The muffled music is drowned out and the lasers shine just bright enough that an occasional flash of red or blue shines onto our bodies.
"What are you going to do now?", Athena asks and I wipe the mascara from under her eyes to which she smiles.
"I think I owe Alex a visit" I smirk.
Athena's eyes widen, "Please don't woe him to tears as well"
I laugh, "That's if I find him, he's been well under the radar lately. Serves him right after the betrayal he pulled", my voice lowers and Athena's eyes only widen more.
"Maybe on that note you should stop the manhunt, I'm quite fond of Alex and don't really like the idea of him dying"
Ruffling her hair, she pushes me off and I laugh at her frustration, "You're probably right. Either way I've got work to do and Alex only poses as a distraction"
"Work?"
I calm myself, "You'll see soon"
Her face scrunches in confusion but I only shrug and turn to jump off the side of the cruise, grabbing a hold of the rope attached to my boat as I do so. Athena runs to the side, her hands clutching the handle bars as she scans the ocean below for me. I send her a wave and she only just stares back, I can barely make out her expression from the distance and decide to not put too much thought into it.
Cursing at myself as I turn on the ignition and begin to steer the boat away, confusion settles in and I light a cigarette to calm my thoughts from everything that is going across my mind right now. Was coming here a risk? Of course, but it was worth it. Had I not come I don't think I would have survived being caged up back at base because of the stress that's going on at the moment.
The sounds of drunken squeals and techno music fades out slowly as I make my journey back to the mainland.