CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
[35]
song: don't you forget it by allah-las
Cassie was more than happy to run errands for Kiara if it meant distracting herself from the other night. She'd spent the past several days in what felt like a depressed haze. The worst part being her inability to wrap her head around her own feelings.
The girl had her insecurities. She always had. And for a while, Rafe made those insecurities go away. He was with her. he'd chosen her. Not one of the pretty Kook girls in their nice cars and yachts. Not Kiara, who'd always been the more confident and outgoing of the pair, always earning more attention at parties.
Rafe made Cassie feel important. Like she had value, and wasn't someone you could just toss to the side. And she knew it was bad to depend on another person to bring out those thoughts of herself, but the damage was already done. He was the only one who found her at a time where she was completely lost.
But now it felt all over. She'd burned her bridges, and she kept telling herself it was for the best. At some point, Rafe was going to get tired of pining after her when she wasn't reciprocating, and move on. But she didn't really understand how much she needed him until he wasn't there.
She spent her days moping around, going to the beach with her grandma who said walking in the sand was good for her arthritis. JJ hadn't been returning her calls, John B was MIA too. She'd heard Sarah was at a Kook party at Mase recently, and Pope and Cleo were busy working.
When she'd gone to The Wreck this morning, to help set up for the Carerra's anniversary party at Kiara's request, she was already out the door.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry— I know you just got here, but could you run by Party City and pick up the balloons? There's a list on the counter." Kiara asked, rushing out the door just as Cassie went through it. "They got twenty-five pounds of crab instead of shrimp—"
"That's a lot of crab." Cassie spoke over Kiara's rambling.
"—so I have to go deal with that." Kiara was out of breath, assumedly from running around her parents restaurant all afternoon.
"Yeah, is Sarah coming?" Cassie asks, turning as Kiara quickly made her way down the path towards her car.
"I don't know, she's not answering her phone." Kiara shrugs, she then lets out a huff of a sigh, and nods at Cassie. "Thank you, you're the best."
Cassie smiled at her, a bit of her stress rubbing off on her as she turned to head inside. Swinging the door open, she poked her head in and greeted Kiara's mom. "Hi Anna."
Anna was a pretty, red headed woman who, for a Kook was always exceptionally kind to Cassie. Kiara's father was friends with Cassie's mother in high school, and she was always reminded by him of how similar they were.
"Oh, hi honey." Anna came around the counter and embraced Cassie in a hug, planting a friendly kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you so much for coming, did Kiara see you?" She gestured out the door.
Cassie nodded. "Yeah, she—" she looked around and picked up the list labeled 'Party City'. "This."
Anna let out a deep sigh, then dug into her back pocket. "Here's my card. Get yourself some lunch too." She hands Cassie her credit card. "Thought I'd have some time to feed you kids but—" she shook her head quickly and huffed, just as frazzled as her daughter.
"Oh, no it's no problem." Cassie says, shrugging it off. "Gets me out of the house. I'll be back in a bit."
Cassie turns to leave, but stops when Anna continues. "Cassidy, I actually—" something was weighing on her. "I've been meaning to take you to lunch and, well— me and Mike, just kind of to get your opinion on Kitty Hawk."
Cassie narrowed her eyebrows. Anna said Kitty Hawk in a hushed voice. Whether that was to soften the blow when brining it up to Cassie, or she wasn't wanting anyone to hear it, she couldn't tell. "Oh." Cassie says. "Why?"
Anna shrugs, not sure herself. "I don't know, well—" she realizes Cassie wasn't going to end up on the same page as her, so she stops, waving it off. "We'll chat later."
Cassie had been looking forward to tonight. It was only her and Sarah who were invited out of the group, and she hadn't had a lot of time with just Sarah and Kiara in weeks. There was a part of her that wanted to just completely spill everything, getting it all out and ask for advice.
She wanted to treat it like anyone else would. A rocky relationship that had its faults, where you'd reach out to your friends and they'd tell her he's bad news. But it wasn't that simple. There was so much more at stake than just bad news. And she knew that.
The balloons trailed behind her as she brought them from the store to her car, stuffing them into the backseat as best she could without popping them. She was going to have to take two trips to get everything back to The Wreck.
She'd gone back inside and gathered more, bags full of streamers, table cloths, extra napkins and themed plates. Big paper letters that would spell out 'Happy Anniversary' once they got them set up right.
She dropped them in her passenger seat, and as she leaned back out to close the door, her eye caught a car parking up the street. She didn't recognize it, but given how nice it was she wasn't eager to wait around to get dirty looks as they walked past her.
But as the door swung open, it was Rafe who climbed out the driver's seat, and she remembered why he wasn't driving his car. Her blood ran cold, and she couldn't move.
Cassie wasn't able to tell if he'd seen her. He wore dark Ray-Ban sunglasses over his eyes, and had already turned back around to shut his door.
She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't even want to see him. When his back way away, she quickly went around her car to the get into the driver's seat.
"Ah, shit, look—" she'd heard, but it wasn't Rafe who spoke. "What's up, Maybank?"
Someone had yelled for her, and she looked up to find Barry climbing out of Rafe's car too.
"Don't, man." Rafe muttered, putting his hand on Barry's chest to get him to lay off.
"What? Why not?" Barry laughed, then gestured to Cassie who had already reverted to getting back inside her car. "She's my friend."
But he was already walking towards her, and Cassie couldn't just get in the car and leave. There was still more she needed from the store.
Barry was taunting her, fully prepared to make a fool out of her. You'd think given the fact that Barry almost killed Cassie, he'd be more than hesitant to approach her. But it was the fact that she and her brother had tried to get the cops on him and failed, that really gave him the confidence.
"Where you been, Blondie?" Barry asked, approaching her car with his arms out, almost like he was expecting a hug.
Cassie white-knuckled the car-door she held onto, too afraid to take her eyes off of him.
Rafe kept glancing behind him, trying to get Barry to move on. "We got shit to do, come on." He spoke.
"No, no, listen—" Barry stops, then puts his arms out. "I know it was you at my place the other day. Why didn't you come inside? Rafe did a whole favor for you, and you repay him with what?" Barry let out a shocked laugh, spit flying from his mouth. "Three-thousand dollars worth of damage to his ride?"
Cassie couldn't look at Rafe. She'd been cornered into the worst possible situation with no way out.
"Nothing?" Barry pried further.
Cassie shook her head suddenly, then shrugged. "What? What do you want me to say?" She got out somehow.
Rafe was focused on her, eyes steady. Then he scoffed. "Did it make you feel better?"
Now Cassie was fed up. Only a week ago he was begging her to understand, that it wasn't what it looked like, and here he was turning on a whole new persona that she saw right through. Talking to her like she was John B, or her brother.
She started to climb into her car. "Take your sunglasses off. It's cloudy. You look like a douche."
As she slammed her car door shut, she heard Barry burst out into laughter at Rafe's expense.
He looked at her as Barry laughed, that smug look slowly fading from his face, hatred staying plastered on hers. He pulled Barry away, gesturing back to where they were originally headed, all while sparing Cassie one last glance that so subtly read as 'I'm sorry.'
She couldn't understand it, and he'd already turned back around before she could really process it. If his sympathetic look was of pity or shame. She wasn't sure if he'd even intended for her to see it. Or if he thought her incapable of reading him. But it made her heart drop.
Cassie didn't go back inside to get the rest of her purchases. She thought the Carerra's could manage without a few extra streamers as the possibility of having another run-in with either of them made her anxious for the rest of the day. She forgot how small the island was sometimes.
It was Sarah who greeted her in the parking lot of The Wreck, meeting her at her car and helping her fish out the balloons from the backseat. "Mike has a helium tank in the back, you know." Sarah laughed as she struggled to wrangle them all. "You could've just gotten the balloons themselves."
"Seriously?" Cassie's shoulders fell with a deep exhale, wrapping the strings around her arms to avoid them taking off. She follows Sarah towards the back deck, where Anna and Kiara were setting up a few tables. "Hey, where have you been? Did you go to Mase the other night?"
Sarah started to nod, slowly. "Yeah..." She got out. Cassie and her hand the balloons off to Anna, still waiting for an answer from Sarah. "I need to talk to you guys about that."
If Cassie knew the question would make Sarah this uncomfortable she wouldn't have asked. She glances at Kiara, who had the same confused, suspicious look on her face. "Mom, we'll just be a sec." Kiara says.
They walked to the front of the restaurant, sitting on the cold floor since all of the tables and chairs had been moved outside. Kiara had swiped a fruit tray off a table and brought it with them.
"Spill." Kiara said almost immediately after sitting down. "You and Topper."
Cassie, who'd been forking a watermelon cube, stopped and looked up at Sarah confusedly. "Huh?"
Sarah was embarrassed, shaking her head. "We got breakfast this morning."
Kiara wasn't pleased with this answer. "It looked like more than that."
"I haven't had anywhere to go." Sarah says. "Rafe's at Tannyhill. And John B and I..." she shrugs. "I don't know. Topper found me. Slugging beer at The Tiki Bar."
"You weren't." Kiara says in disbelief, and her surprise lead Cassie to believe she was all caught up on the minimal backstory Sarah gave.
"Yeah. Shot drinking." Sarah says.
"I'm not judging." Kiara says, shaking her head reluctantly.
Cassie made a disgusted face. "I worked there for like two days freshman year and they do not clean those. Like ever."
"Oh. Great." Sarah says sarcastically. But there was more to the story, and Sarah was hesitant to share it. "And then a couple kids from Kildare Academy showed up, and they were already going to Mase."
"And then?" Kiara urged her to continue.
Cassie wondered if it were the same people she'd been around at Kelce's house. She wondered if they'd said anything to Sarah about her, or Rafe. And she wondered how she could be so naive to think that these people wouldn't talk. That something like Rafe's outburst, and Cassie being there to drag him home, wouldn't spread.
"And then..." Sarah took a deep breath. "I kissed him."
Kiara looked like she'd already come to that conclusion herself, nodding slowly. Her and Cassie exchange knowing glances, both too afraid to say anything.
"W— guys. Don't look at each other like that." Sarah says, worriedly. She was desperate for a reaction from either of them that wasn't silence. "Do you both hate me?"
Cassie couldn't help but feel immediately heartbroken for John B. Someone who'd risk everything for Sarah. Who has. Cassie knew John B well, she knew he was much more sensitive than he let on. If he were to find out, it'd crush him.
"Hate's the wrong word." Kiara says.
Cassie had had the same watermelon on her fork since she sat down, but at no time since then had it felt like an appropriate time to eat it. "I didn't even know you guys broke up." She says.
"No. Well— we're not. I don't know." Sarah shakes her head. "I don't want to be."
Cassie inhaled sharply, nodding to take in the new information.
"Like— since the island. Everything has felt so abnormal." Sarah says. "And it just felt nice to feel something normal again. And— I like... I'm a mess."
Cassie felt guilty for not realizing Sarah had been feeling just as bad as she had. She'd spent so much time mulling over her own issues she hadn't taken a second to look around and realize other people were struggling too. And in Sarah's case, even worse.
Nowhere to live, no family, no money, and everyone was talking about it. She'd gone from the luckiest girl on the island to this. And Cassie had the nerve to feel sorry for herself.
She found herself beginning to tell Sarah she could stay at her place. But she'd told that to JJ too, and didn't uphold her promise. It wasn't fair to her grandma to now be in charge of three kids, she was getting too old to even take care of Cassie.
"I think we're all a little messed up." Kiara says. "Us. Me. JJ." She looks at Cassie to explain. "He stole money from my dad and I'm still pissed about it."
Cassie closed her eyes and sighed. "God, Kie, I'm sorry—"
"It's not your fault." She shakes her head. "He's just pretending not to care. He won't talk to me. I'd rather argue about it."
"Right." Sarah agrees. Her phone dings, and she grabs it off her lap to look at the text. "It's Wheezie." She looks up at Kiara and Cassie confusedly, then plays the voice memo.
"Sarah, don't be mad, but I ran away. I'm in the OBX and I have to see you. Come to our rental condo on Greensboro Street, okay? But Sarah, please don't tell anyone."
"How did she get here on her own?" Cassie asks, eyebrows narrowed.
Sarah shakes her head. "She didn't. It's my Dad. It has to be."
"That's a new low." Kiara scoffs. "Dragging your sister into this?"
Cassie plucked the frayed strings off her denim shorts, then looked up at Sarah. "Are you gonna go?"
She shrugs, her mind in a completely other place now. "It could be her? It's not the first time she's ran away. And if it is I need to be there. And help her."
Kiara wasn't so sure. "You should call the cops first, at least."
Cassie nods. "That's not a bad idea. Just have them in the area in case it is him and things go bad."
Sarah scoffs. "Yeah, in case he tries to drug and kidnap me again."
The conversation went quiet for a few seconds, and then Kiara spoke again. "Do you think Rafe knows?"
Cassie was waiting for Sarah's response, then realized Kiara posed it towards her. She was taken aback for a moment. "I have no idea." She shrugs. "If he did—" she stops. "I don't know."
If he did he would've told me. She almost let herself get too comfortable around them. All this talk about relationships had thrown her off.
Sarah left, and after and Cassie and Kiara finished getting ready at Kiara's house, they went back to The Wreck to help with the finishing touches.
She wore a long, pale yellow silk dress of Kiara's. One that she gave her when she'd realized the one she packed was too casual. Cassie braided Kiara's hair, as long as she promised to do her makeup.
And she wished they'd taken more time to get ready when she brought a box of glasses up to the bar, and found Sofia getting the drinks ready.
Cassie stilled at the sight of her. Embarrassed, more than anything. Mortified with the thought of Sofia hearing, or worse, seeing her outburst at Tannyhill the other night.
"Tha—" Sofia started, taking the box from her, but stopping when she realized who it was she was thanking. "Oh, hey." The brunette got out, taking a breath.
Cassie swallowed. "Hi."
Sofia thought for a few seconds, glancing over at her boss, who wore the same white polo uniform as her, then back to Cassie. "Do you have a second to talk?"
This had turned into Cassie's worst nightmare. She had absolutely nothing to say for herself, other than the fact that Sofia hadn't done anything wrong, and if she was going to apologize, she shouldn't.
They stood a good distance away from the rest of the crew, leaned against a tall table with a bouquet of flowers at its center.
"I actually went by your house the other day, but you weren't home." Sofia said.
"You did?" Cassie was perplexed. "Why?"
Cassie's initial reaction was to ask how she knew where she lived. But she'd completely forgotten Sofia's mom was a nurse, and took care of her grandpa in hospice in his final days. Sofia had even been by a few times to drop-off lunch.
Sofia smiled, shrugged, then looked over to the setting sun at her left. "I've felt awful."
Cassie didn't know what to say. She'd never felt any animosity toward Sofia at all. Though it was hard not to feel jealous or insecure when she looked at her. She was beautiful. Bright green eyes, and a sweet smile. Sofia was the kind of girl that moved about her days with such grace, just completely effortless.
"Oh no," Cassie started to shake her head. "You couldn't have known. Don't feel bad. It's not like we were together, or anything."
Sofia waited, like she was expecting Cassie to continue and admit that they actually were. Like she thought Cassie said it so she wouldn't feel as bad. "Well, I— I need you to know nothing happened. And I'm—" she plants her face in her hands, embarrassed. "I drank way too much. And my friends were being dicks, and I was trying to drive home— and he insisted."
Cassie nodded slowly, hanging on to every word and hoping they were true.
"And I shouldn't have done it, I should've just called my mom to come get me or something, but—" She inhales sharply. "I'm sorry. Nothing happened. He wasn't even in the room."
Cassie really tried to see past the girl's facade. But there wasn't one. There was a genuine concern in her eyes. Concern that she'd accidentally messed up someone else's relationship.
"Don't apologize." Cassie shook her head. "Really. It's nothing."
Sofia nodded, clearly relieved that she'd finally gotten that out. "I know you're probably mad at him, and rightfully so— I mean—" she started again. "But, please, just— I think he really cares about you. After you left the other night he was— he was crushed. I mean, really upset." She shook her head again. "God, I feel so awful."
Cassie gently grabbed onto Sofia's arms and laughed as she spoke. "Please don't!" She spoke. "Seriously, it's so not your fault."
Sofia took a second, then nodded again. "Well, I work at night most of the time... but if you're ever free during the day we should get coffee?"
Cassie was embarrassed by the excited jolt she got in her stomach at the idea. "Really?"
Sofia nodded eagerly. "Yeah, there's this new spot by The Island Club that I want to try."
Cassie smiled. "Okay, yeah."
"Alright, I'll DM you or something." Sofia says. "I gotta go finish up over there, but come hang at the bar tonight if you get bored!"
The normalcy of their conversation was almost jarring. Like it didn't actually happen. Like Cassie didn't really just have a conversation with another person who wasn't in her immediate friend group, where they didn't look at her like she was a spectacle. Or treat her like a child. And it was so refreshing to be treated like a normal person.
But the more people that showed up at The Wreck, the more anxious Cassie grew. The yard was filling with familiar faces, and she felt she needed to cling to Kiara's side to avoid the inevitable 'how have you been?' question that was almost always in reference to the rehab, or being a missing teen for a month.
Cassie never knew what to say, either. Because to give them the truth would be putting both her and the person asking in the most uncomfortable situation possible. But when she lied, they always gave her this look. This look like, 'yeah, but are you really?'
"Kinda hot." Kiara said, walking over to Cassie with two drinks in her hand, then gesturing to the band playing on the stage.
Cassie held a hand over her eyes to shield the setting sun from her vision. "Do you think I got enough streamers?"
Kiara scoffed, setting the drinks down. "I don't know—" she started to joke, then stopped. "Shit, there's Sarah."
Cassie spun around, relieved to see the girl walking into the party, awkwardly waving at a few people she passed in greeting. When she noticed her friends, she gestured for them to come talk to her in a less-crowded area.
"That's not a good look." Cassie says, following after Kiara and putting the straw to her mouth.
"No it is not." Kiara mutters. "What happened?"
Sarah inhales sharply, then swallows. "You were right. It was him."
Kiara's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me, Sarah? That doesn't even make sense. Ward's on this island? Like the same island we're on?"
"Yes." Sarah clenched her jaw.
Cassie's mind went straight to Rafe. Wondering if he knew. Wondering how he felt. And it made her worry for him, and she hated that. Hated how easily she could care about him and hate him at the same time.
"The second I see him, I'm turning him in. I swear." Kiara looked like she was physically restraining herself from an outburst.
Cassie frowned, looking at Sarah. She was set off now, understandably. Paranoid, and scared. "Well, you look pretty." She said, in an attempt to bring her comfort.
And it sounded stupid when she said it out loud, but Sarah smiled after a second, and pulled Cassie in for a side hug. "Thank you." She said, and leaned into her. "You do too."
"It's Kie's." Cassie gestured towards her dress, a dress that looked like something Kate Hudson would have worn in her movies.
Sarah pulled away, and looked into Cassie's glass before picking it up. "What's this?" She asked, as she took a sip.
"Rum and coke." Kiara says.
Sarah, perplexed, took another sip.
"With no rum." Kiara adds.
"You're funny." Sarah gave Cassie's drink back with a pity-laugh. She looked around at the party, then immediately turned back to look at the girls, wide-eyed. "You didn't tell me Topper was gonna be here."
"Sorry, my mom invited like— the whole island." Kiara responded.
"Shit." Sarah muttered, turning her back to him.
Cassie looked past her, to where Topper was mid-conversation, but clearly wrapping it up so he could come talk to Sarah.
"He's coming over here." Cassie says.
"Shit." Sarah repeated.
"Oh, great." Kiara says, swirling her straw around in her drink and acting natural. "Well, we're gonna—" Kiara glances at Topper as he walked toward them. "Go over here."
Kiara tugged on Cassie's arm and pulled her away, despite Sarah's protests.
In comparison to her recent outings, the party was nice. The weather was perfect once the sun set, the food was good and Kiara and Sarah stayed pretty close to her side for the most part. The only time they separated was when Kiara had to help her parents with something, or when Sarah took her frequent trips to the bar.
And they were all sat together, sharing a big plate of meat and cheese, a deck of playing cards in their hands to keep themselves entertained, when John B showed up.
"Where the hell has he been?" Kiara asks, peering over in the distance where he stood.
He looked awful. His shirt was dirty, his bandana around his neck had turned a peculiar shade of green, and you could practically smell the sweat radiating off of him. He was leaning over the fence, looking around for Sarah, assumedly.
"Why? Why is this happening to me all at once?" She started to bury her face in her deck of cards.
Kiara looked at her. "You need to talk to him."
She was nodding. "I know. I will."
They watched as Sarah eventually stood from her seat and walked to him, then watched as she sat him down on the docks and the conversation went from excited, and happy to see each other, to still and quiet.
"It's karma." Kiara added, as the two watched their friend break the bad news to their other friend. "I love her. You know I do. But she messed up."
Cassie examined John B's face, though he was far away, she could see his hurt, see him trying to process it all. "God." Cassie mutters. "Everyone is so just— off, right now. I haven't heard from JJ either. And this is the first I've seen of John B all week."
Kiara turns back around from watching, and swirls her straw in her drink. "I think it's his dad."
Cassie stills. "His dad?"
Kiara shrugs. "I don't know, I think he's just been weird. And I mean— obviously this has all gotta be hard on John B. His dad dead one day and alive the next."
"But if anyone understands that it's Sarah." Cassie says. "He shouldn't push her away."
"I don't know. I'm not getting involved." Kiara takes another sip. "I'm getting another beer. Do you want anything?"
Cassie started shaking her head, about to open her mouth and tell her she was good, but something behind Cassie caught Kiara's attention.
"No. No." Kiara said sternly, standing immediately. "Get the fuck out."
Cassie whipped her head around to see who it was that could've shifted the mood that quickly, finding Rafe approaching their table.
He was looking at Kiara, his were eyes tired, and he moved like he didn't want to get into it right now. "I just want to talk to her."
Cassie got to her feet quickly, and turned around to stand beside Kiara, who had come around and stood in between the two. "Leave." Kiara reiterated, not messing around.
He looked at Cassie now, practically begging her to look past his own antics and see that he was being genuine. But he was drunk, or high, or both. He had to be. He had that same, exhausted look on his face that Cassie hadn't seen in ages.
"Just let me explain myself, Cassie. Please."
Kiara snapped her head towards Cassie. Now confused more than anything.
But Cassie kept her eyes on Rafe, focusing on trying to keep up this cold front thought her heart ached for him. For his situation. For everything he'd been put through and put himself through. Even though he didn't deserve an ounce of Cassie's sympathy, she couldn't just shut her feelings off overnight.
She looks to Kiara. "Just give me like ten minutes."
Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"
Cassie couldn't blame her for the shock on her face. Cassie was surprised by herself. She shrugged, then turned back to Rafe. "Okay." She got out quietly, and moved past him before giving him the chance to say anything else.
"I swear to God, Rafe." She heard Kiara say, but was already in the crowd before she got the rest of it.
If things got messy, like they inevitably did with Rafe, she didn't want it to be what ruined the Carerra's party. She didn't want him to cause a scene again like he'd done at the Jackman's.
Her arms were crossed over her chest as she pushed through the crowds of people on the dance floor, ending up on the other side of the yard and heading up inside of the restaurant.
She took her few remaining seconds of silence on his end to gather her thoughts, but she had no idea what he was about to throw at her. There was never any way to prepare for him.
She pushed the swinging door of the kitchen open, and let it swing back into him as he followed shortly behind. The motion censored lights turning on as she walked in.
A part of Cassie thought she'd never talk to him again. That that part of her life has ended and she needed to move on. So now, standing here, she was at a complete loss for words.
"What?" She speaks up, when he didn't say anything She turns around to face him with a defeated shrug.
He looked at her cautiously, like he was just as taken aback by her standing here with him as she was. Rafe took a few moments to collect himself. "My Dad's back. In Kildare."
Cassie's mouth gapped open, and she let out a small scoff. "That's what you want to talk to me about?" She says, already making her way back out. "Your dad?"
Rafe steps in her way, shaking his head quickly. "No, no— Cassie, come on—"
She puts her arms up defensively when she felt Rafe trying to grab onto them. "No. I'm not getting involved in your family stuff, again, Rafe. It's not my business—"
He was still shaking his head. "I know it's not— I know that—"
"Then why are you here?" Cassie spoke frustratedly, growing impatient. "Why do you show up after days of zero communication, when I'm with my friends, and act like nothing happened?"
He was struggling with his thoughts. "Because I don't—" he gestured to his head, like he was trying to coerce himself into finding the right words. "I don't have anyone else to talk to."
Cassie could hear the desperation in his voice, the subtle pleads, as he fought with that other side to himself that mocked her on the street, only this morning.
"Talk to Barry."
It was clear Rafe was expecting a more gentle response. He looked at her pointedly, almost like he was disappointed in her. "Seriously?"
Cassie nodded. "You don't get to treat me like that, and then show up unannounced when you're sad. That's not how this works. That's not how relationships work." She heard it as soon as she said it, and hoped he was smart enough to understand she was speaking hypothetically.
"You smashed my headlights in." Now Rafe was annoyed, but still trying to get his point across as calm as he could.
Cassie scoffed. "Yeah, because I show up at your house and find a girl in your room—"
"You show up at my house to steal from me. Okay? Do you understand that? That you were doing something illegal—"
"You stole first?!" Cassie's voice went shrill, and she found the conversation had taken a juvenile turn, both of them sounding like kids going back-and-forth.
Rafe had come to the same conclusion. Closing his eyes and taking a breath, knowing he wasn't going to convince her she was in the wrong, and vice versa. "I didn't sleep with her." He eventually got out.
Cassie took a second, then responded. "I know."
"And she wasn't in my room. She was in my parents." Rafe added, then narrowed his eyes at her confusedly. "You know?"
She rubbed her eyebrow tiredly. "Yeah, I talked to her earlier. Your stories line up. So you're either both just really good liars, or I—"
"So why are you so pissed?" He interrupted.
Cassie shrugs like that was obvious. "Because," but she couldn't get any words out. Nothing was going to sound right.
Because he was mean? She knew that. He was impulsive, and selfish, and aggressive, and reckless, and unstable. She knew all of that. And he did too. So there was no use in reiterating it all because her feelings got hurt.
"Because." She finished her sentence with that.
He leaned back and scratched the bridge of his nose. "Right."
There was nothing left to say. Now would've been a perfect time to say their goodbyes, and for Cassie to return to the party. But she couldn't help it. "Well, have you..." she shrugged, almost upset with herself that she was giving him the time of day. "Seen him? Your dad?"
Rafe started nodding, now pinching the bridge of his nose, and squeezing his eyes shut.
"And?"
"I told him I don't need him anymore. I don't need the handouts. I want to—" He huffs. "I want to stay here. Start my own life. Here. Not in Guadeloupe."
Cassie nodded along with him, not as appalled by this as she was expecting to me. For once, she felt Rafe was actually in the right. However, the bar was set low when in comparison to his father.
"Well, that's—" she shrugs. "That's good, I guess? How did he take it?"
Rafe scoffs, running his tongue over his bottom row of teeth, eyes glued to the kitchen floor as he recalls his conversation.
That was answer enough. She glances out the door, the music and chaos from the party still loud outside. She knew she should go back. She knew staying here with him any longer would just lead to trouble. This hadn't ended in a fight, she should leave it at that while she still could.
But a part of her found comfort in this quiet kitchen with him. She wasn't ready to go out and get bombarded with questions from Kiara yet, and have to yell her responses over the music.
Cassie groaned, stretching out her back and shaking off the remnants of a tense conversation. "I've got like... six minutes before I have to go back out there." She says, trying to be lighthearted.
Rafe nodded, then glanced at the door. "Yeah. I'm gonna go before Kiara sends Mike after me."
She watches him, hesitant, wanting him to stay, but not wanting to say it. There were times Cassie was so sure of herself and her feelings, where she was so angry with him that she couldn't imagine ever wanting him again. But to be so angry with someone who was merely a product of their environment went against everything Cassie believed. The world was already unfair enough as it was. She gave grace where grace was needed. Undeserving or not.
"You know," Cassie started, her voice quiet and unsure. "There was a part of me that really wanted it to be true."
Rafe turned back around to face her, not understanding.
Cassie shrugged. "You and Sofia."
His silence was unnerving. But it gave her the opportunity to get all her thoughts out without fear of judgment. As if she was talking to herself. "I don't know. I guess I was just looking for a reason to... you know. Give up." She blinked. "On us."
Rafe, though his expression barely changed, was confused by this. "You haven't?"
Cassie was embarrassed to be saying this much all at once. "I guess not."
The kitchen fell quiet, neither of them sure what else to say. Not now. Not here. There was too much to get into if this was the direction the conversation was heading. The both of them had too much on their minds, and it was for the best that they left it alone. Things seemed okay again. Loose ends were tied up. They should leave it at that, and exist in the state of being okay.
Rafe left, and it was sudden. Sudden enough to make Cassie lean up off the counter she was against, and wonder if he was upset. That the silence had meant something else to him than it did to her.
Her feet carried her back out the swinging door before she could process it. She'd opened her mouth to call his name, expecting to have to explain herself further, but he'd already turned around, as if he was coming back into the room.
Cassie got this feeling like she couldn't breathe. Like any words she wanted to get out had been trapped in her throat. The darkness of the empty restaurant engulfed them, only the multicolored stage lights from outside illuminating their portraits of each other.
She was completely weak in his company. Constantly falling victim to temptation. Cassie was smart. She was careful, and responsible. But he made it so difficult to stay that way. Her feelings made it so difficult.
So she stepped forward and kissed him. And there was no time to process anything, or adjust to the feeling, before his arms engulfed her and he kissed back so hard she almost toppled backwards.
They stumbled back into the kitchen, her back colliding with the swinging door as his strong hands trailed up from her back to the back of her head.
All of these reasons for Rafe to leave, and why she should've let him. It was all washed away, torn and shred, by the unspoken apology written in the way their mouths worked together.
Utensils clattered as she was pinned against him and the counter, she clung to his back to keep from falling back onto it, and with the intensity in which he kissed her, she wondered if that was his intention.
She felt more ease in kissing him now. They had gotten the unsure approaches out of the way long ago, the way you kiss someone when you didn't know what to do, or what they enjoyed. But this wasn't that anymore. This was how you kissed someone when you've craved it for so long. After you've been given time to understand how badly you missed the feeling.
Cassie liked the way Rafe put his hands on the sides of her face to hold her where he wants her. And how his fingers wind up in her hair and gently tug on it. And how he breathes her in, and the sound of his deep sighs draw her closer.
She pulled away, only for a second, to put her hands behind her and push herself up onto the counter. He leaned his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, desperate to kiss her again but wanting to help her get more comfortable.
He found his way in a spot between her legs as she sat up on the counter, more control over the situation now as she draped her arms over his shoulders and kissed him again.
Rafe's hands rested on her hips, moving slowly upwards towards her ribcage, her breath hitching at the feeling of his rings finding her bare skin.
The thin strap of her dress draped gently off her shoulder, and the cold breeze of the air conditioner made her shiver. That, and the feeling of his lips moving down from hers, to her collarbones.
She recalled a time when she told him that she liked it when he did that. And she wondered if he remembered. If that's why he was kissing her there now.
She heard mic feedback from outside. A loud, high pitched ring, and then the music stopped.
Rafe's kisses had lingered too long on her neck, and while laughing quietly, she gently moved his head away. "Don't do that." She whispered, and she felt his teeth against her skin as he smiled into her, and brought his kisses back to her lips.
But now she heard gasps, and the usual chatter from the party-goers outside had quieted. She pulled her head away for a moment, and listened. Rafe didn't seem to notice, going back in to kiss her jaw.
Murmurs from outside, then shouting.
"Stop, stop." Cassie says, pushing herself back off the counter.
Rafe took a step back, but his hands were still on her hips, looking at her concernedly, awaiting an explanation.
She listened further, "You need to chill out, bro." Someone yelled.
Cassie quickly made her way over to the swinging door, pulling her dress back up on her shoulder, fixing her hair and wiping her mouth.
"Cassie," Rafe followed after her.
"Hold on." She put a quieting finger to her lips as she stepped out into the restaurant and looked out the window. Rafe joined her by her side as she realized it was Topper and John B, in each other's faces, yelling. "Shit." She got out sharply, then quickly made her way outside.
Things had happened so fast, she didn't have time to explain anything to Rafe. Or to ensure her makeup wasn't smeared, or decide if going back out there right now was only going to make things worse.
"I would just walk away." She heard Topper say, after John B pushed on his shoulders.
Cassie stood at the top of the steps of the outside deck, glancing around the crowd for Kiara or Sarah. "For once in your life, would you please just turn around and walk away?" Sarah had grabbed onto John B, yanking him away from Topper.
The entire party's attention were on the three of them, even the band had stopped playing.
Cassie's heels clicked against the wooden steps as she walked down them, eyes still scanning the crowd for Kiara.
"Hey, no hard feelings bro." Topper spoke. "We good?"
The blonde pushed her way through a few gawking party-goers, grown adults who had no business being this enamored by Sarah's business.
She'd ended up at Kiara's side, just as John B turned around, and punched Topper.
"Oh my god!" Cassie shouted, amongst the rest of the gasps from the crowd. Kiara had slapped a hand to her mouth, turning to Cassie with wide eyes.
"You like that shit, Top? Huh?" John B towered over topper, who was on the ground now, groaning in pain.
Sarah was crying, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks stained with tears. "John B? What are you doing— stop!" She cried out, as John B bent down, yanked Topper up, and punched him back down again.
"Stop!" Kiara raised her voice, lunging out of the crowd and joining Sarah's efforts of pulling John B off of Topper.
"What are you doing?!" Sarah screamed.
Cassie, like reflex, had pulled Kiara back out of the way of John B's swing. He had no awareness of anyone else around him right now but Topper, and he would've hit Kiara in the process.
"Mr. Carerra!" Sarah yelled for help.
Cassie stumbled back, with Kiara in her arms, both of them panting as John B continued to slam his fist into Topper's face.
"Hey!" Mike yelled repeatedly, as he ran through the crowd and toward the fight, pushing past Cassie and his daughter to break it up.
Cassie caught glance of Topper's face, in the split second that John B lifted his fist away from it. He was covered in blood, almost unrecognizable. "Oh my god." Was all she could get out, turning around, not wanting to see any of it anymore.
Mike yanked him off of Topper. "Get out of here!" He yelled, and Cassie, just by his voice, knew this was the angriest she'd ever seen Mr. Carerra. "Get the hell out of here!"
A blur ran past her, a blur which she came to realize was her brother, pushing his way through the crowd and latching onto John B, before Mike got a chance to shove him any further out of the yard.
"Get off him!" JJ yelled.
"Stop!" Cassie shrieked.
"Is this what you want, Mike?!" She heard her brother yell, egging on Mr. Carerra, as he struggled to keep John B from springing back onto Topper.
She angrily pushed her way through the crowd, and towards him, like it was now her responsibility to get everyone out in one piece. "Go." She snapped at JJ loudly, walking in his direction like she was herding sheep. "JJ, go!" She yelled again, when he didn't quite pick up on what she was saying.
He sent Mike his last angry glare, before gathering John B up and pushing through the rest of the crowd. He looked at Kiara, who watched in horror, then to Cassie, whose face was red with anger. "It's Singh." He got out, breathlessly.
"Not now. JJ. You need to leave." Kiara said. "Both of you."
JJ pushed John B away, a gentle suggestion that read as 'you should go, I'll handle this' . JJ glanced at Mike, again, then back to the two of them. "He's got John B's dad."
Cassie's heart dropped, and all of her previous adrenaline had been taken over by the mere mention of Singh's name.
"What?" Kiara spoke.
"Someone call 911." Mike announced urgently, as he'd redirected his attention to Topper, on the ground and beaten to a pulp.
Kiara glanced behind her as the chaos of the crowd, now checking on Topper, ensued. She turned back around. "What—"
"We have to help him. They got him last night." JJ was panting. "We've got—"
Kiara let out a small scoff. "JJ, no."
Cassie watched as John B walked back off to the docks, flexing his bloodied knuckles, shaking them off where the pain still lingered.
He's got John B's dad.
John B's dad. Who has the diary. And Singh only knows that because of her.
She felt sick. Like she could've dropped to the floor at any second. How stupid was she to think that this wouldn't come back to haunt her? That her actions wouldn't have consequences?
"No?" JJ was taken aback by this. "What do you mean, no? It's Big John— he's in deep shit—"
"I mean, I can't—" Kiara gestures around to the sudden chaos of their surroundings. Chaos brought upon by her friends. "I told my parents I'd do better, and this—" she scoffs. "Seriously, JJ?"
JJ got out a laugh. "Okay, fine. Fuck it. Doesn't matter." He redirects his attention to Cassie. "Cassie?"
She looks at him, almost like she'd forgotten she was apart of this conversation, too distracted by her own panic. "What?" She somehow choked out.
"You in?"
She looked around at the party, at John B over at the docks. She recognized this horrible feeling in her stomach, this insane, painful guilt that she'd pushed aside for weeks, and now was getting the after effects of.
Cassie was nodding before she could understand what exactly she was getting herself into. All she knew was that whatever had happened to Big John was her fault. And she had to fix it.
She stepped forward, earning a pleased huff from her brother when he realized she'd agreed.
"Wait," Cassie started, as JJ started to make his way to the docks now too. She glanced behind her at the party, then back to her brother. "I need to— just give me one second. Okay? I'll meet you at the boat."
JJ nodded, then looked at Kiara, who was about on the verge of tears. "Okay." He responded.
Cassie made her way back towards the party, eyes quickly scanning the crowd again, for Rafe this time.
"Doctors?!" Anna yelled out. "Are there any doctors?!"
Cassie watched as a woman sprang out from the crowd and rushed over to Topper. "I can help." She proclaimed.
"He wasn't even defending himself." Sarah cried out, confused, stumbling over to Kiara.
Rafe found Cassie, though his eyes were focused on Topper on the ground. Subconsciously, she latched onto his forearms for some sort of stability, like she was on the verge of passing out and needed someone to keep her upright.
"I have to go." Cassie got out frantically.
Rafe drew his eyes away from Topper, then to her. "What's going on?"
She swallowed harshly, and tried to gather her thoughts. "It's Singh. He's got John B's dad, and I—" she takes a sharp inhale of breath. "It's my fault. It's my fault. And they don't know where he is, and—"
Rafe was shaking his head. "Cassie, stop."
"—I have to do something. I have to—"
"You can't get involved, okay?" Rafe spoke pointedly, to ensure she understood what she meant. "You stay out of it. You know how dangerous this guy is, alright? You know that. Don't get—"
"I know, I know he is that's why—"
"He'll kill you, Cassie. Do you understand that?"
"He'll kill Big John." Cassie's voice was quiet, and full of panic.
"JJ, don't!" Cassie heard Kiara yell suddenly.
Cassie turned around, finding herself in the direct path of JJ as he charged over to her. Or more specifically, Rafe, who he held his heated stare on.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" JJ yelled, not even sparing Cassie a glance as he shoved Rafe back and away from her.
"JJ!" Cassie shrieked in surprise, watching as Rafe stumbled back from the sudden push.
"Huh?" JJ pushed him again.
"Don't, JJ." Kiara had stepped in front of him and tried to physically restrain him from egging Rafe on any further.
"Did you invite this guy?!" JJ flung his arm out toward Rafe.
It looked like it was taking everything in Rafe not to explode. He kept his eyes steady on JJ, like he was studying his every move to calculate and predict his next one.
"What?! No!" Kiara was offended. "He just showed up!"
"All of you, out!" Mike's loud, booming voice made Cassie jump.
JJ took a breath. Starting to turn and walk back over to the docks, assumedly. But he whipped back around, almost knocking Kiara over in the process, and charged back over to Rafe.
JJ always did this. He always looked like he was about to give it up, and walk away, only to let his emotions get the better of him, and end up digging himself into deeper hole.
He latched onto Rafe's shirt and shook him as he got in her face. "You leave her out of your shit, alright?" He yelled.
Rafe pushed him off, smacking his hands away when JJ tried to grab him again. "Go home." Rafe spoke sternly, trying to keep his calm.
Cassie was holding her breath, her palms etched to her temples. She looked over to Mr. Carerra, who was the only person in close proximity that was big enough to break this up.
But he was managing John B, who had returned from the docks, and started to make his own way over to JJ. "Kiara, control your friends!" He yelled angrily, putting a forceful hand to John B's chest to keep him from walking any further.
"JJ, enough." Kiara spoke, anger seething in her voice.
"Did someone call 911?" The doctor helping Topper yelled, and everyone returned their focus back to Topper. She spoke to him calmly, telling him not to move his head.
JJ took everyone's distraction as his chance. He swung at Rafe, who ducked down out of the way. And in the midst of that, Rafe got out a laugh, swung back, hit him in the jaw, and sent JJ falling back into a crowd of people.
The attention was reverted back to them, as JJ collided with a group of bystanders, spilling their drinks and knocking over someone else in the process.
Cassie instinctively leapt forward, pushing through the crowds of people to get to her brother, who was now covered in food and mixed drinks, as he took a table cloth with him.
"Are you kidding me?!" Cassie shouted, turning to Rafe with wide eyes. He stretched out his neck, then his arms, like he was preparing to go at it again, waiting for JJ to get back to his feet.
JJ, like he'd gotten a burst of energy back, rose to his feet quickly, but Cassie pushed onto his shoulders, hard, sending him stumbling back. "Don't." She said.
"Come on." Rafe egged him on.
It was like Cassie wasn't even there anymore. She spun back around, grabbed a drink off the table nearest her, and flung it at Rafe as a sad attempt to get him to snap out of it. "Go! Leave!"
The pain in JJ's jaw had settled, and with that, the realization that if he charged at Rafe again, he stood no chance. He stumbled backwards as Cassie turned back around and pushed him in the other direction to get him to start walking.
"All of you, out!" Mike yelled, and Cassie was beginning to realize that she'd been understandably clumped into the group he wanted out.
Sarah watched, her eyes full of tears, as Cassie pushed JJ along. She glanced to Rafe, then back to Cassie, and her expression was impossible to read. There were too many things going on, too many factors, that could have given Cassie any idea as to what Sarah was feeling right now.
Mike watched too, eyes wide and angry as they made their ways back to the dock. "I'm so sorry." Cassie spoke up as she passed him.
Mike shook his head. "Just leave."