This was gold.
When you went into the woods for a peaceful stroll you weren't expecting to find Astarion tied up and half-naked.
"I'm glad you're ready for me but I wish you had asked me to tie you up myself." You ignored the slip of paper above him held up by a dagger that read 'this is a warning, we won't be so merciful next time' in bloody lettering, "I so do prefer you this way."
You tilted his chin with your index finger and caught him roll his eyes.
"Just untie me! This is humiliating enough - I don't want any of those fools we call companions stumbling upon this sight." He huffed and pushed your hand away with his face.
Chuckling, you retrieved your dagger from its sheath and severed the rope keeping Astarion by the tree, "we wouldn't want that now, would we? Then I wouldn't get you all to myself. I don't want anyone else seeing you like this."
Your intentions weren't as less-than-pure as you made out. If your companions caught sight of this Astarion would never live it down, he didn't need that added onto his trauma. It was okay when you made jokes, if Astarion was uncomfortable with them you wouldn't make them, and you knew when to stop. However you couldn't be so sure your companions were the same way.
"Yes, yes, drink it in while you still can, who knows when you'll see me like this again. Next time it might be you on your knees." He stood up and waved his hands around, "can you do my wrists now, they're aching."
"Of course," you sliced the rope tying his hands behind his back, "wrists are important. You'll need them for... other purposes."
"How about strangling you for running your mouth?" He headed in the direction of camp.
You followed right behind him, "Well, I so do enjoy being choked."
"Uh," he looked back at you, "is there anything you aren't into?"
With the biggest shit-eating grin on your face, you asked, "I don't know, why don't you help me find out?"
Astarion sighed and muttered, "I really fell into that one, didn't I. Sometimes I wonder if you're actually being serious."
In feign offence, you gasped and waved a finger at him, "how dare you accuse me of joking about such a thing. When talking about sex, especially with you of all people, I take utmost pride in my seriousness around the subject. Honestly, the nerve of some people."
"Thank you, truly, for putting things into perspective for me. And please accept my sincerest apologies for ever doubting you." You didn't think you'd ever hear him be more sarcastic.
"I accept your apology but I do not forgive you," you sped up and as you crossed him whispered, "you'll have to make it up to me tonight."
Before he had time to think of a rebuttal, you were back at camp. Everyone quickly noticed your presence - or more, they heard you coming and noticed Astarion's indecency.
"Wow. Who knew Astarion was more than a pretty face?" Shadowheart's tent was at the edge of camp so she was already on the scene.
Lae'zel was always nearby, lurking. "Maybe I wouldn't have been so quick to judge him for being a pompous ass had I know what he looked like beneath all the fuss and feathers."
"Mmm, I second that." At least the others tried to be a little subtle with their staring, Gale did no such thing.
"I did call it. Don't you remember when we got drunk that time and I said, 'Astarion definitely has the hottest bod in camp' and that's coming from me who is literally the hottest."
"Good gods, I'm not a piece of meat you know. Just because I lost my humanity 200 years ago does not mean you shouldn't treat me like one."
While your campmates were busy ogling the vampire spawn, you took this as an opportunity to sneak away and grab him some clothes.
The tent was over-the-top and you suddenly understood Lae'zel's 'fuss and feather's' comment. So instead of grabbing his armour, you picked up his nightclothes - nice and simple, definitely why you chose them and not because you thought they made him look really pretty.
On the way back you passed Wyll, the only one away from the crowd. "Not joining in on the staring contest with Astarion's abs?"
"I am the blade of frontiers, I have at least a scrap of honour and the decency not to look at a man when he's exposed and vulnerable. Even if he is... quite pleasing to look at."
"Ah, I see. Worried you may have to break that vow of chastity, eh? Understandable, have a good day."
"Wait a minute-
But you were already on your way. You fought your way through the small, almost impenetrable crowd that had formed around him and shoved his clothes in one of his hands and grabbed the other, pulling him away from everyone.
There were a few sighs and 'aw's as you left but you rolled your eyes at them as you quickly left their line of sight with the dimming light.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see." You squeezed his hand, "it was goblins who tied you up, was it not?"
"It was. Who else would be so foolish to leave me alive?" Somehow he'd managed to put his shirt on even though you'd been holding his hand the whole time.
"And predictable. They'll raid the camp tonight. Let everyone else deal with it."
"You aren't worried about them?"
You glanced at Astarion. He glanced back.
Both of you broke into laughter.
"Ha ha! No I'm not worried, they can handle themselves. And if they couldn't... well maybe they deserve a little roughing up."
"I couldn't agree more."
The trees parted a little where others had walked before, making way for an opening to get to a cave. It was dark, spacious and you weren't sure how deep it went.
"This is where you were leading me?" Astarion let go of your hand and placed his hands on his hips.
"Is there a problem?"
"Well I wasn't expecting a 5-star hotel, but a cave? Maybe you should've invited Halsin instead. Bears love caves, do they not?" Nevertheless, Astarion was the first one to step inside and look around.
There was a space where a fire had been lit before and a few dry branches remained. You used one of your burning hands to light it and made a mental note to get more wood later.
"It's going to get a little warm with that fire going, isn't it?"
"I suppose you're right. Who needs a campfire when we have you? You're hot enough for both of us." You dusted off your hands and stood up, facing him now leaned against the cave wall.
Given the opportunity, he grabbed both your hands and pulled you to him, "I'm glad you think so, I was hoping to share some of my heat." His lips loomed dangerously close to your own, ghosting against them as he spoke.
It was all in good fun it seemed so you had no problem closing the distance.
The kiss was soft and sweet, you lightly placed your hands on his waist for support as he moved his own to cup your face and neck.
When he tried to deepen the kiss you realised where he was trying to take this so you tried to steer the situation in a different direction by slowing down and pulling away.
Astarion took one of your hands and guided it under his shirt, "oh don't be shy darling."
You let out a gasp at the coldness of his abdomen but by the smirk he gave, he thought it was because of another reason. This didn't help that he thought your reluctance to go any further was out of nervousness.
"You do talk big for someone who gets jumpy at the slightest bit of contact, we haven't even gotten to the good part yet."
Before he tried to lean in again, you pulled your hand away and stepped back, "Astarion..."
There was an immediate shift, "Oh shit, have I done something wrong?" His expression was one of pure sincerity, he was worried.
"No, it's not you." You turned away, opting to stare into the dying embers of the fire, "I just, I can't do this."
"Was I going too fast? We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, we can stick to just kissing if you'd like." He reached out and brushed a stray hair out of your face, "not even that if it's too much."
"No, no kissing sounds... nice." As you looked at his earnest gaze, you didn't want to disappoint him. Astarion was so beautiful and he deserved more than you, but for tonight you could allow yourself to be selfish. To indulge. To pretend that kissing was all there was.
So when he waited for you to speak, you instead gave him the kiss he was offering.
The kisses were sweet and slow, just how you liked them. They didn't stop at your lips, you exchanged kisses on cheeks and foreheads and hands and fingers.
At some point the fire had gone out and Astarion had gone to collect more kindling. Upon his return you lit the fire and pulled him onto the floor with you, quickly meeting his lips.
You continued like this into the night until your eyes began to droop. As they did, Astarion snuggled up beside you and placed a kiss on each of your eyelids.
With your eyes closed you placed a kiss on his bite marks and revelled in the intimacy of it all.