Its been about a month since the twins showed up at Kane's apartment. It's been a new experience to say the least, more like a sentient being taking care of an animal with a lesser animal brother
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"WHICH ONE OF YOU HID MY CIGAR CASE"
"What makes you think we did it?" Giggle argued, "maybe you misplaced it, boss." Chuckled simply nodded at what giggle stated.
Kane dragged his hand down his face "i don't misplace shit i put it on the table and satan know it didn't grow legs and jump out the fucking window" he emphasized by throwing his hand out towards the window "and stop calling me boss!"
"How would you know?" Giggle laughed, "you didn't see it leave, boss." Giggle went over to the table and pretended to examine it, "see boss? Little footprints." There were no footprints.
Kane stared at her then his eyes shifted to the table then back at her glossing over her body "you have it don't you"
"How dare you accuse me of such a thing!!" She crossed her arms and huffed, "I would never!!"
"You would do something like that to entertain yourself by pissing off" he said reaching for his cigar pack where it would normally be only to realise it still wasn't there "oh fuck me. Giggle! Give me my shit so i can go to work"
"Mmmm I don't wanna." She huffed, "sorry boss, I guess you can't go to work today." Chuckle couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the situation.
Kane snapped his jaws at the male twin "I'll deal with you later" he turned back to the female twin "you! I will be back before you know it just give me goddamn cigars"
"I no no wanna." She stuck her tongue out, "bleeeeeeeh!!"
Kane stepped and grabbed her tongue between his fingers "my cigars" he growled
"Or what?" She smirked, "what if I don't have them and you're threatening me for nothin?"
Kane gave her a hard glare
Giggle grumbled and hinted at chuckle to throw the cigar pack to her hand, which he did. "Here."
"Oh you fucking snake you had it" he glared at chuckle "and i thought you were the responsible one" kane took out a cigar and lit it. Inhaling the smoke letting it leak out from under his maw with a sigh
"She made me do it." He huffed, "Oopsie, silly me!!" Giggle laughed as she went to sit down with her twin.
Kane rolled his eyes and walked over and hugged giggle from behind over the couch and kissed her head "I'll be back later don't fuck up or with my shit" he moved on to chuckled with a hug amd a pat on the head "make she doesn't do both" he said on his way out and made his way to the office "oh what i would do for a of peace and quiet"
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Kane walks into the offices and tilts his head to the side as a coffee maker hit the wall where his head used to be he groaned taking out another cigar walking over to M&M leaning on the couch from behind resting his head on moxxie's shoulder while he massages blitz's back "moring everyone it feels like I've missed something
Millie took a sip of whatever was in her mug and turned to kane "nothing much blitz just tried to have a talk with loona about how she treats the clients y'know be a people person" kane gave millie a look and she nodded. "Yeah it didn't go well"
"Yeah i can see why that didn't go well" he said lifting his head off moxxie's shoulder sniffing the air "blitz did you buy a bird?"
"What? No i already have enough bird problems as it is i don't fucking need one i have to take care of"
"Uhm sir" moxxie said pointing off to blitz's office where an purple glow
"The fuck?"
"Satan it's to early for this" kane said groaning and pulling his 1911 out form his holster under his suit
I.M.P went to check on the ominous glow in the office holding various weapons ready to dispose of whatever the threat may be until their eyes settled on a young owl demon that kane recognised as Octavia who was infront of a portal that was the source of the purple glow, she looked back at them for a second before she stepped through the portal and it closing behind her
Kane lowed his gun and put his hand on his hip "well shit"
"LOONA!!" Blitz yelled for his daughter
"Oh yeah, you have a visitor" she called back in her usual bored tone
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"Shit shit shit shit! What the FUCK am i supposed to tell stolas?!" Blitz said panicking as one of the higher beings of hell just took their magic book and ran to who knows where
"Well, he seems to like you sir. Maybe he would understand if if-"
Blitz cut if him off "okay my dick is good but it is not that good moxxie"
"Sir i don't think we really have a choice"
"So what you want me to just call him up and be like 'heyyy stolas'
"So your dughter came by took your book and teleported off to who the FUCK knows where and we have no way of getting either of them back ok? Ok good talk byeee" he hung up "Wow that actually went better than i thought"
Kane inhaled smoke from his cigar "we're fucked"
As if kane predicted the future the door was blown down hitting moxxie which kane found amusing and a demonic stolas came into view obviously not happy calling for blitz
Kane blew out smoke chuckling "told you"
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After a while stolas calmed down but was pacing back and forth questioning them on how they let his daughter
"How could you let this happen? Do you let just anyone just waltz into your office and grab infinitely powerful artifacts, why would she do this?, how are we supposed to find her?, where would she go?" He said with a worried look on his face and the voice to match
Loona sniffed a few times "well it smells of urine and desperation" she put her finger up to her nose to cover the smell as kane blew out cherry red smoke chiming in "with a hint of broken dreams and second hand embarrassment" he said his nose scrunching up "L.A" the two hounds said in unison causing the rest of I.M.P and the owl to look at them "what?" She said while kane smacked his nose a bit like an annoyed dog
Soon after the two hounds were tossed through a portal into the human world in a alley somewhere in L.A "i have legs" kane growled at his boss
"Yeah but then i saved you from using em" blitz same with a dumb smug face "oh this doesn't look much different from hell" the sounds of screams and gunfire could be heard "alright lets get to work, lonny sniff"
"How am i supposed to smell anything in this city?"
"Can't you even do one thing right?" Moxxie said stepping through the portal
"Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?" Lonna shot back making kane cough up whatever smoke he had in his lungs holding back a laugh
Moxxie looked to kane to defend himself "im NOT-" he was cut off as blitz joined the conversation
"You know it wouldn't kill ya to put a salad in your body every now and then"
Moxxie looked over to his boss woth the same confused face "What?...but im not fat!"
"He might be trying to get like millie. It would add up" kane added resting his arm on moxxie's head "don't worry you'll blend in with half of the gluttons in this city of angels"
Blitz climbed his way onto a dumpster to go over the 'plan' "now if we're going to do this the old fashion way we're gonna need disguises"
That being said stolas, kane, and loona switched to their human disguises. When they where done kane glanced up at stolas him still having height on the disguised hound 'pretty damn tall for a human'
Millie clapped at the transformation with stars in her eyes while moxxie looked unimpressed
"No chance you can conjure us a couple of those can ya?" Blitz asked still on the dumpster
"Sadly no im afraid without my grimoire my powers are a tab limited in the human world"
"What you can't memorize your fuckin spells?"
'Can barely remember your own birthday'
"Oh your memories so great whats his phone number?" Stolas said gesturing towards moxxie to which blitz promptly gave a fuck you response
The crew emerged from the alley way
"Fuck it smells like ripoffs and last chances" kane gagged taking out another one of his cigars wanting to fill his lungs with anything else than this air, loona nodding in agreement as a car chase raced down the street a body flying out of the trunk of the car being chased and landing in the road acting as a speed bump that a police car hit at a fast speed sending the car flying and exploding on impact leaving the rest to give chase
"I want to go back to hell" kane said as he watched the action go on
"Oh untuck your tail we got a bird daughter to find" blitz said in a captain like manner with his finger in the air as he marched down the sidewalk
Not to far down the group found a costume shop for blitz to find a costume shop of his own
Kane stood behind a bench that stolas and loona sat on waiting for blitz to finish getting a disguise
Kane took a hit of his cigar before blowing it out away from the two "there's no way this shit works. I mean these are humans and he is a red five foot imp"
Stolas crossed his legs and turned his head to the mobster "well as far as i know humans are simple creatures who are easily manipulated by their desires"
Kane side eyed him
Loona spoke up from being on her phone "he'll be fine"
Not too long after blitz blitz swung open the door "soooo? What do you think"
Before kane could give his completely friendly criticism some human woman interrupted him with your typical girly ass scream
"AHHH look everyone its hollywood star Brennon Ragers!" She gawked gesturing to blitz
"The fuck is a brennon rager?" He looked up at a convenient billboard showing the actual hollywood star "Ooooh"
"Oooh dear"
"Why can this shit ever be easy" kane sighed throwing down his cigar before there group was swarmed by random humans begging for autographs and selfies with blitz and making actually do his job. Which consisted of sending his own human fits into anyone who got too close and he didn't discriminate men women and children especially the children
After sparta kicking a child in the face a girl got past him and clung to blitz which he himself pushed her off as more got through
"I HATE IT HERE" kane yelled is annoyance as he was consumed by the swarm of humans still throwing hands and on the verge of shooting randomly into the masses
"MILLIE where are you and your whore bag husband!!?"
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"I'M TAKING THIS OUT OF THEIR PAY!!"
Kane was still in the mass actually fighting for his life as the hollywood fan girls were banding together to get past him like that was still his goal now. Sending an elbow into one girl and another clipped his jaw
"FUCK why are these bitches so strong!"
He heard stolas say something intellectual but couldn't exactly hear what it was as he face was hit with a expensive looking purse it felt expensive
Kane's ears twitched as he heard tires screeching and a whistle blowing soon after and the crowd quieted down which kane thanked satan for and not before punching down the girl who hit him in the face with a purse "...bitch"
While the crowd was calm kane tried to make his way to where blitz was seeing he was grabbed up by two semi built bodyguards, he was still shoving people out of his way when he heard blitz hell for help as he looked up to see him being carried off, and for some reason the crowd was riled up again "i don't get..." He he punched some nerd "FUCKING paid enough!..." He ducked a...a baby? Before uppercutting the thrower "for this shit!"
Kane bumped into someone. Swiftly taking out turning on his heel ready to stab who ever he bumped into until he was met with long silver hair and a really angry face and a fist that stopped hurling itself towards his face that might've broken his nose "god damn loona i almost gave you a new necklace"
"Fucks that even mean and you wouldn't kill me if you wanted to"
"Mm maybe not-" he was hit in the back of the head and a thud hit the floor followed by crying "again with the fucking- oh my satan" he groaned picking up the infant and throwing it back into the crowd,turning back to loona as blitz rammed his head through the back window of the van he was in "loony go find via we'll catch up soon" she flipped him off with both hands "yeah way to be a team player sweetie" he replied like a proud father ignoring her gesture
The van burnt rubber as it sped off, loona scoffed flipping her hair out of her face while kane fixed his suit and taking out his cigar clenching it between his teeth and sparking it to life taking much needed puffs from it releasing a smoke filled sigh, even the smoke looked tired "i hate it up here" he looked to his left expecting loona to still be there but she was already half way down the block without a care in the world "well i guess I'll see what this hell away from hell has to offer"
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Kane had been walking aimlessly until he made it to a beach it wasn't bad he wouldn't give it the credit it deserved as it was a beautiful sight as the sun was on its way down kane found a bench and sat down lighting a new cigar as he inhaled and really took in the sights and sounds of the waves and the birds that gave their own sound to fill his ears. He exhaled the smoke with a small smile setting on his lips "damn this makes me want to stay longer than i have to"
"They don't have sights like this down in hell do they" said an old voice to Kane's right
Kane reached for his gun in his holster but a cane stopped his hand from reaching it "there won't be a need for that demon" kane looked down at the cane then at who the voice belonged to and it was an old man dress in a brown trench coat with round glasses and a soft look on his face
Kane tilted his head "you know what i am?"
"Of course i do. May i?" He asked gesturing to the seat next to kane and he nodded the old man sat down slowly kane guessed it was not to hurt himself
Kane took another drag of his cigar "who are you, what do you want and how do you know what i am"
He gave one of those old man chuckles you know the ones not too old but like the fun grandpa laugh "just an old man who you reminded him of when he was young. I used to be an exorcist not much of a good one hehehe but i got a good life out of it, as for what i want. Nothing more than to talk to you"
Kane was at a loss why would this old fart want to talk to him? He didn't have much to talk about, could he be with D.H.O.R.K.S ? That could be a thing but they already know what they do....
"I don't have much to talk about old timer just sitting her looking for my friend enjoying my cigar" he held up said cigar
The old man looked him up and down "you don't look like your doing much looking"
Kane puffed his cigar a few times "im not the only one here looking for here and the one actually looking for her will probably find her soon" he said with a proud smirk having faith that loona could find octavia without his help she had a good nose and was capable if she actually wanted to do something, it was one of the things he liked about her. Found attractive too
"There's more of you here?" He asked looking on in wonder
Kane stood up as the sun finally went down and loona texted him that she found octavia and sent her location "not for long looks like our friend has been found and it's time to go home" he turned to the old man and stuck out his hand "kane"
The old man stood up as well and shook Kane's hand "Gerald"
And with that kane gave a nod and ran off to where loona had sent him the location taking a bit longer this human body wasn't as fit as his normal body 'stupid fucking human body stupid fucking human world" he cussed as he jogged more and getting out of sight of humans shaking the disguise and sprinting on all fours soon slowing to a stop as he made it too loona and the rest who were watching things explode in the sky
"Now that shits pretty" he said announcing his presence to the fathers and daughters who turned to look at him. Blitz was the first to speak up
"And where the fuck have you been?"
Kane got closer while sparking up another cigar "went to the beach chatted with a old exorcist, not a bad guy"
Loona looked away from the exploding sky things "No fucking way"
Octavia had stars in her eyes "You met an actual exorcist"
Stolas put a finger on his chin "my my its a wonder you didn't fight for your life meeting an exorcist in the human world. We should leave"
Blitz pointed his finger in the air "the bird is right lets get the fuck out of this hell and back into our own......Now where the fuck are M&M"
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Ok ok yh ik long as time for a chapter but listen listen....the wifi been out at my crib ts gon be back on soon how soon? you ask i have no fuckin clue but soon imma keep working on chapters when i can so just bare with a brother ight? I got yall. And another thing this book has been getting way more attention than i thought it would so hell yh imma keep working on it. Next book y'all can look forward to is hazbin hotel woth jinx and jax i seen all the eps up to now so I'll doo that soon
Thas all for now so till text time (ion have a name for this lil community yet)