.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
A few weeks had passed since she got back into the city. She was surprised seeing all the change in the city and what shocked her the most was even though CG is still the top gang that ruled Los Santos, so much had changed within the gang ever since she left the city. Like- what do you mean Ramee is trying to be a lawyer? What do you mean Mr.K doing business and not robbing banks 24/7? What do you mean by CG trying to 'lay low' with the crime?.
Vinny did tell her that the city collapsed two years ago and everyone is now trying to get back on their feet but she didn't know that it was this much change.
She's trying to get her life back together but the changes in the city definitely affected her. Working some civilian jobs, needing to grind hard, not having much money all lead her to meet a lot of new people in the city. She met a girl named Gigi and a guy named Timothy and Max. She also got reunited with Kitty and all of them alongside April got closer to each other in no time.
She still spent time with the boys but with so many things changing, she felt the need of a new environment too. The Gworls are definitely different from her boys but the main difference she felt was they're definitely the emotion type of group where they're not afraid of talking about their feelings to each other. It's not bad or good, it's just different.
A lot of old faces also reconciled with her, she never told anyone that she's coming back other than to Vinny and Taco so meeting her old friends and acquaintances in the city was always a surprise to them. Just like that one time, only her third day back in the city and just out of nowhere, a certain guy showed up right in front of her with a voice she can recognize even from a mile away.
"Tommy is that you?" She said, Even if he didn't say a word, the light green puffer jacket combined with the bucket hat easily gave it away.
"Wait- who are you?" Shocked by what his eyes are seeing, his mouth can only utter those 4 words.
"It's me, Ray Mond!- did you seriously just who-ed me?" Her voice, the tone he knew all too well danced in his head. He felt like the oxygen left his whole body. 'Is this even real?' he thought to himself
"I'm sorry I just couldn't believe my eyes. Since when? How?" There's at least 15 questions popped into his head but his body isn't cooperating well with his head right now.
On the corner of his eyes, Tommy caught a tall orange-haired girl coming out of a car from the street across from them and then waved at them.
"Raaayyy! We really need to go! They're waiting on us"
The girl in front of him- the one he hasn't seen in years and his last memory of her was her saying 'Thank you Tommy. I'll see you when I see you', he saw her signing what he could interpret as 'wait a sec' to the girl across the street
"It's only my third day back. I'm sorry but it's a very long story. Has CG never told you anything?"
"No- they said you were okay and not to worry so I never ask again". He's getting confused. He felt a little angry, a little sad, and a lot of happiness. Should he just jump and hug her? Is it appropriate?
"Of course they made sure I'm always okay. I really have to go now but maybe we can catch up sometimes?" She asked. He felt a surge of memories coming to him, like the old times.
"Yeah sure-" He said. Ray waved her hand and gave him a soft smile but he suddenly remembered "Ray! I don't have your number!" He yelled a little. The girl who's in the middle of crossing the road turned around to him
"Ask Mr.K or Ramee, I heard you guys are hanging out a lot nowadays!"
He smiled back at her. Third day back in the city and she already knows that he's getting into Chang Gang.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
It was a slow day in Los Santos. Few members of CG were out of town doing some business stuff and the ones left in the Cubby were busy packing up their belongings. CG was moving out of the Cubby. Well, not really 'moving out' they recently bought a new place on the southside and the plan was moving the underlings and most of their 'underground' business there. Ray and April were also there hanging around the Cubby rooftop enjoying their day.
"This place has changed so much right?" April said while sipping the coffee in her hand. Ray looked down the cubby seeing their members sorting out their stuff in a big pick-up truck.
"Yeah- it felt so big back when it was new. Now it feels so cramped, I can't even open Vinny's door without the whole cubby staring at me!" She laughed. Her eyes wander around the small details of the place before it stops at one of the apartment's doors, the one's directly in front of Vinny's. She's been avoiding even glancing at it ever since the day she got back but today seems like a day of weakness to her, one glance at it and her eyes were locked to the door.
She eyed the door handle, it seems like no one even dare to touch it, the handle was at the edge of breaking, she remembered how she abused the fuck out of it every time he pissed her off and then ran to his place. If she tries enough, maybe she could see the shoe print she left all across the door. Of course, all of that happened before he gave his keys to her... For business purposes he said.
April, who noticed that the girl beside her got awfully quiet decided to look over and try to find what's been distracting her. It was very obvious where she's looking. The red-hair decided to ask.
"Have you tried going inside?" April said. She saw the expression of the girl beside her changed a little. It was the painful expression she saw years ago.
"No. I haven't. I don't think I have the strength to even hold the handle April" She let out a sigh at the end of her sentence.
"You still have the keys right?" April asked and the girl beside her nodded her head
"You should try at least opening the door. I believe that you can" She tried encouraging her friend. Ray's face was puzzled. It's been 5 years since she last saw that room, the room she spent locked inside sitting in the corner of the bedroom for almost a year ever since his passing.
"I'll give it a try April" Ray smiled at her friend. She'll give it a try, maybe tonight? Next month? Next year?
"You know what else you should give a try?" Ray looked at her friends and she saw the mischievous face she's making. Instinctively she rolled her eyes.
"What it is this time gwoorl?" She knows her best friend and she kinda have an idea of what she's gonna say next
"You should go OUT of this place more! And I'm not talking about getting Gigi to do G6 with you- I mean like- go out and meet people! Do you know how many times people asked me about YOU-? I was starting to get jealous! Go out and meet more people, how about managing Vanilla Unicorns again? You still have your position there- or maybe starting your materials empire again with Vinny like old times? or go out and stir some pots i don't know- I just wanna see the gworl that had every gang leader and even the police wrapped around her fingers come back" April held both of Ray's hands while giving her the pleading eyes trying to convince her for her own good.
"Don't you already have every man wrapped between your fingers, April?" Ray gave her the 'I don't know about that' face
"You know I care mostly about their money- It's even better if they don't really have power in this city, it's easier for me to convince them to give me all their savings. YOU do it differently than I do, you make powerful people in the city bow down and even go to war for YOUR attention. You have them do things they'll never do to anyone else for you!!" April tried to hype up her friend, maybe she'll remember who she used to be.
"Alright- alright- enough of my past. You've convinced me. I'll try with my materials stuff first and the other things? maybe later" Ray said. April stood up and jumped screaming 'yes' repeatedly, finally she convinced her of doing other things too
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After yesterday's talk with April she did feel a little more motivated to get herself out and about in the city more. Today she went to Vinny's store and learnt about stuff she needed to do to acquire materials Vinny and K needed. She did three sanitation runs which lead her meeting this guy named Zaceed who, without much convincing, was willing to work for her in the future.
'Damn, I still got it in me' she thought to herself.
It was already dark and raining when she came back to the Cubby, she raised her eyebrows at how awfully quiet the place was before remembering that April texted that they had a Wu Chang meeting this evening. After parking the car she had borrowed in the garage, she jogged back to Vinny's apartment trying to avoid the rain. She stuck the keys in, trying to open in as fast as she could so she won't be drenched in the rain but somehow maybe luck wasn't on her side or the door had beef with her, it was just refusing to open.
She yanked out the keys, it was starting to get on her nerves when she looked at it closely, her eyes could see the little black rose keychain dangling on the side of it. She realized that it was not Vinny's apartment key. It was the one in front of it. Examining it further, she didn't remember taking it out from the little compartment on her wallet, did it fall out?
Ignoring the rain she pondered while looking at the keys. What should she do? She remembered what April had said yesterday and tried to make up her mind. 'Is it time?' 'Am I ready?' 'It's been 5 years, how much longer do I need?' 'Remember your promise Ray' She thought to herself. Having made up her mind, she let her feet lead a few feets away from Vinny's door. She inserted the key and turned it, the click sound echoed through the whole Cubby. She cursed herself inside of her head before finally opening the door.
Being already drenched in the rain. She hurriedly came inside, turned on the light switch and got surprised at how the light still worked. She took everything in looking at the whole room, it was easier than she had thought.
Her feet took her upstairs to his room, she smiled looking at all the stuff she had left there, the boys clearly had never touched this place again. She then opened the dresser in the corner of his room, the second to last drawer where she knew he kept his towels there. While drying herself she opened the last drawer knowing well enough that her old clothes were still there. Couple of PJs, her old red tank-top, white jeans, her back-up karambit, and a bunny mask were still inside. The sight left a little sting on her chest but she smiled again remembering how many times she crashed at his place because Vinny accidentally locked her from the inside. It happened so much that he gave her a designated place for her own stuff.
The night felt so long, she cleaned up the place from all the dust that was piling up for years, threw out all the expired stuff left in his cupboard and vacuumed the whole place. She ordered take outs and ate alone while watching the TV in his living room.
She looked at the time on her phone and it showed it's already 2:39 in the morning. She decided that it was finally time to sleep.
Maybe it was the demons inside her head or maybe she just likes the pain, she took a few of his clothes, the ones buried deep inside his drawers, maybe she could still catch the smell of his cologne, or maybe she could feel the warmth that it used to give her. Regardless, she took it and cuddled with it on his bed. Her mind still wanders around, remembering how much he's done to her, how big his effect on her life, and how important their bond is. Them.. just the two of them.
Everyone said that their 'relationship' was toxic, it won't last, and it will only hurt them both.
People talked, people stirred, they thought they knew.
No they don't.
That's why years ago they promised to each other. It's them. It's them against everyone in the fucking city, so whatever people said they'll believe each other first.
"You're my boy, and I trust you.
I'm sorry that it got to this point, this is a huge lesson learned"
"Honestly, let's just keep shit between us. Anything."
"Randy, admit that you have feelings for me too you fucker."
"HEE"
"I don't wanna come off as the crazy one-"
"You're not crazy- everyone knows-"
"Just friends that gets jealous sometimes"
So who cares even if it's 'toxic'?
They both don't care.
They're both equally as toxic, petty, mentally unstable, egoistical, and stupid to each other.
And this is the only way the two lunatics knew how to lov- how to express their feelings.
They kept their promises.
Ever since that day, they let no one, even people in CG that tried to stir their bond to get in the way between them.
Obviously they're still the Randy and Ray that everyone knew, they'll fight, they'll argue, they'll flirt in front of people but they kept everything else.. Just between them.
Like their 3AM race where they sneaked out the Cubby in the middle of the night whenever one or both of them needed it and went to Rags to Riches to race while rambling to each other on the phone the whole night.
Not even April, especially not Ramee..
Nobody knows that the Joe incident traumatized her so bad that sometimes she'll have those nightmares about him and she'll call him and he'll talk her back to sleep- sometimes she woke up in the morning with the call still connected.
No one needs to know.
That the night she 'officially' ended things off with both Lana and Tommy was also the night he held her crying frame in his arms until she fell asleep.
They made sure they had no living witness
The corner of the Cubby's garage was the only witness at that time. The one time they were SBSing together the whole day and almost ended up shooting at each other was also the very first time He cornered her in the garage and kissed her. It was the first time but definitely not the last.
Was the word Love ever spoken between the two of them?
No.
But they know that it was Love.
She felt tears falling down her cheeks and decided that it was enough reminiscing for the day. It was weirdly comforting for her though, it hurts her but at the same time she could feel the warmth in her heart.
Maybe.. Maybe after 6 years she'll finally move from depression to acceptance.