Throughout the rest of the school day, all Leigh could think about was Dennis, even after the last classes were finished, and arriving home to an empty house did nothing to help the matter. With her parents out of town on business and no siblings, it was just her. She hated being alone. She always had, but more since she'd moved to Libertyville, since her exes car had tried to kill her. The thought alone sounded crazy, if she said it aloud to anyone besides Dennis, she didn't doubt that she would find herself in a white padded room.
Inhaling a deep breath, she dumped her bag down on the floor beneath the coat hooks and continued into the kitchen. Piled up on the side near to the sink were many used plates, bowls and glasses and beside them was a note. She crept silently across the room and picked it up, scanning the scribbled words with her eyes.
Leigh,
Your father and I won't be here by the time you get home from school, but we'll be back on Friday. In the meantime, if you could pick up on all that needs doing around the house that would be great.
Love, mom.
Putting the note back down on the counter, she eyed the washing up that needed doing and shook her head, turning on the hot water faucet and allowing the water to fill the bowl before turning it the other way to cease the flow. In haste, she grabbed one of the used glasses and a clean sponge and began to scrub away the dirt. The patter of rain on the window grew more frequent as it started to pour down outside, and every now and then she glanced up. She wasn't quite sure what she was expecting; the warm yet chilling glow of bright yellow headlights, the roar of an engine belonging to a ‘58 Plymouth Fury as it came crashing into the house in an attempt to get her the way it had managed to kill Will Darnell? Impossible. Christine was gone.
Leigh pushed the thought away and put the glass down on the drying rack, picking up the next with a sigh. She glanced back up at the window and jerked back in surprise, seeing Arnie's face reflected in the glass.
“Pull it together.” She scolded herself, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. When she opened them Arnie was gone.
She hadn't noticed how hard she'd been gripping the glass until she heard a cracking sound and felt a sting in her hand. Loosening her grip, she let the broken pieces of bloodied glass fall into the sink and examined her hand. It was no more than a small cut across the palm, but the soapy water made it hurt worse than it should.
“Dennis!”
The sound of his father's voice pulled him away from the edge of sleep and back into the waking world. He rolled out of bed, no longer feeling overheated or sweating, the fever having broken while he'd been asleep, and sauntered out into the hall and down the stairs.
“What?”
“There's a phone call for you.” His father informed him.
“Who is it?”
“I don't know, some girl.” He shrugged.
“Huh.” Dennis acknowledged.
“How are you feeling?”
“I'm fine, dad.” He answered truthfully. “Really.” He added, then took the phone in his hand.
Waiting until his father had disappeared into the kitchen, he brought the phone to his ear and cleared his throat.
“Leigh?”
“Dennis… Hi, how are you feeling?”
“I'm okay.” He insisted, nodding as though she could see him. “I didn't think you'd- never mind. What's up?”
“Nothing really. I guess it's silly, but my parents are out of town and I hate being on my own… I was thinking of stopping by, if you're not busy and you don't mind that is.”
“Uh…” He considered. “No, I don't mind but it's getting dark out, so wait there and I'll come and get you.”
“You don't have to do that.”
“It's fine, I don't want you out alone in the dark.”
“Well, okay. Thanks.”
“Alright. Give me five minutes.” He concluded and put the phone down.
Throwing on his shoes, he was already halfway through the door when he realized that he was forgetting his jacket, and quickly reached back in to grab it from the hook before bounding down the porch steps and towards his car. He was surprised that she had called at all, and couldn't help but be a little curious. She had gone months without calling and making an effort to talk to him, it had become apparent that she wanted nothing to do with him, at least he had thought so. Maybe he was wrong. He couldn't tell anymore.
Barely ten minutes had passed before he reached the Cabot household, and not being bothered to get out of the car, he gave the horn a honk. As he waited for her to join him, he glanced around the area, noticing for the first time how empty and quiet the neighbourhood was. Before he could take much of it in, Leigh appeared on the porch and bounded down the steps and into the passenger side.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting.”
“I'm not in a rush.” He shrugged, twisting the key in the ignition and pulling out of the driveway.
Leigh gave a haphazard smile and then averted her eyes on the road ahead of them. Dennis snuck glances every couple of seconds out of the corner of his eye, debating whether or not to ask the one question on his mind. After the answer to his last question, he feared it might end up in the pile of things he regretted knowing.
“You seem surprisingly energetic for someone who ended up in the nurse's office.” She prompted.
“Oh… yeah, I cut out early and crashed out when I got home, and I don't know… I guess the fever decided to do one.”
“Good.” She said with a frown. “That wasn't your finest moment.”
“Jee, thanks.” He rolled his eyes. “You know I- I went to see Arnie before I went home.”
Leigh's eyes widened and the smile dropped from her face at the mention of his name, and he worried, for a second, that mentioning it may have been a mistake.
“Why?”
“Get some stuff off my chest… Look, Leigh, I know that you think what we're doing- what we were doing was disrespectful to Arnie, but I don't. Not anymore.”
“Not this again, Dennis.”
“After that night, I- I blamed myself for not being able to save him and I began to question whether I'd done the right thing for the right reasons but today I realized something… we can't keep blaming ourselves for what happened. We tried and he didn't listen, and we didn't mean for him to die.”
“Yeah, but what we did was wrong…”
“Was it?” He challenged. “So, by that logic it's wrong to move on when you end things with someone because of the way they handled it, and it's wrong to move on after someone dies and live life the way you want because you should be feeling guilty that you're still breathing while they dug their own grave?”
“No, of course not but-”
“When I pull this car up, look me in the eye and tell me that what we feel is wrong, tell me that Arnie will always be between us… if you can do that then I'll stop trying, okay? I won't try to change your mind and I'll leave you alone.”
“I'm not having this conversation again, you already know my answer.” She refused.
“But I'm not the one who called first.” He pointed out. “If that's really what you think then why did you call?”
“It doesn't matter.”
“Yes it does.”
“If you're going to keep talking about this then I'm going to stop holding up my end of the conversation.”
As they pulled up in the driveway, Dennis grit his teeth in frustration and yanked the keys from the ignition. Without waiting, he got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Leigh's footsteps followed closely, but he didn't say a word as they walked into the hall and not until they reached his room, ignoring all of the greetings from his father and sister.
“What's the hurry?” She asked as he slammed the bedroom door.
“Because I need to say this before I chicken out and I don't want an audience.” He answered quickly. “I can't take this anymore, Leigh. It's pure torture, you playing these games with me.”
“I'm not playing any games.”
“Really? To me it feels like you're playing a good old game of hot and cold. We were headed in the right direction, then everything happened and you're acting like none of what went down between us before Christine arrived happened, then we talked again- maybe a little more than just talking, then you pushed me away and you called me because you don't want to be alone only to feed me a bunch of bull on the way here. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to you either. You can't have it both ways, you have to make a choice… this is your last chance. If you're not honest with me then I'm done, for real.”
Leigh let out a breath and shook her head, but she made no attempt to speak. Not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't know what the right thing was to say. She had two options; tell him what he wanted to hear, and at the same time what he didn't want to hear, or tell another lie with only some truth to it. Just because something was felt, it didn't make it right.
“I'm sorry…”
“Sorry?”
“But I can't tell you what you want to hear because it would be a lie. I came to you because I wanted to help Arnie, and what happened between us was… all of it has been a huge mistake.”
As though his legs were nothing but jelly, Dennis stumbled back and sat down on his bed. Twice he opened his mouth and closed it again, wanting to ask more questions but already knowing the answers. Leigh stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but he cast his own eyes down at his hands, fiddling with the zipper of his hoodie.
“A mistake?” He said at last. “Got it.”
“It was a mistake because of the timing.” She added. “Maybe if you and I had talked first then things would be different, but all I know is that if we weren't there that night to stop Christine then you and I… what we did while waiting… it wouldn't have happened.”
“That doesn't make it any less painful to hear, Leigh.”
“Go on then…”
“What?”
“Give me your take on it.” She requested. “Tell me that you don't feel guilty every time you look back on it.”
“I don't.” He denied. “At first, but not anymore. It wasn't my fault what happened to Arnie, I tried to help him and he turned on me. Why should I punish myself for his mistake?”
“I'm not saying you should, but Arnie was your best friend…”
“Yeah, he was… until he found Christine.”
“Then why do you want to spit on that?”
“Spit on- I don't want to spit on it! He was my best friend. Keyword; was. Then he laughed in my face and stood back while his car tormented everyone it hated.” He snapped. “And don't act like this is one sided, like I'm the only one with feelings here. You may think it was a mistake now but you knew what you were doing, if you really feel nothing then why would you lead me on?”
“I'm not-”
“Yes, Leigh. That's exactly what you're doing, if you're being honest when you say you feel nothing, and that shit hurts so I'd appreciate it if you gave me an answer that actually counts.”
Before Leigh could say anything, there was a knock on the bedroom door, followed by a young female voice. Dennis sighed as he got up and brushed past her, opening the door to greet his sister, standing in the hall with her arms folded across her chest.
“What?”
“Dad says you can't be up here alone together, and mom said to tell you that dinner is ready. She asked if your girlfriend will be joining us.”
“Okay first, we are just talking. Second, she is not my girlfriend and third I don't know…” He grumbled, then turned to Leigh. “Will you?”
“Do you still want me here?”
“What am I supposed to say?” He shrugged. “If I say yes, you're gonna tell me that I should feel guilty. If I say no then you're gonna get upset with me.”
“It's a simple question, Dennis.”
“Yes.” He answered reluctantly. “Of course I still want you here.”
“Uhh, hi. Still here, you know!” Elaine cut in.
“Go and tell mom and dad that we'll be there in a moment.” He ordered.
Elaine stuck her tongue out and squinted her eyes in defiance before turning around and heading towards the stairs. Dennis waited until she'd disappeared, then gestured for Leigh to go in front of him as they headed the same way. She glanced at him as she passed, and stopped briefly, with a look that told him she had more to say.
“Everything you've told me until now about how it was a mistake and how you feel nothing, tell me now; is it the truth?” He asked, keeping his voice low so they wouldn't be overheard.
“Yes about it being a mistake, but no about not feeling anything.” She answered quickly, then carried on towards the stairs.
Dennis lingered in the doorway, no less confused now than he had been before their conversation. He wanted Leigh to see things from his point of view, but she refused to try because, even though he was gone, Arnie still stood in their way. Him, and Christine too.
“You coming?” She prompted, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Uh, yeah.” He confirmed, and followed her down the stairs.
Despite his hunger, and everyone around him digging into the food on their plates, Dennis only picked and nibbled at the food in front of him, avoiding any small talk that his family tried to make with him. He observed the conversations happening around him quietly, his mother and sister bombarding Leigh with all sorts of questions and the occasional interruption from his father, sharing some sort of experience or another, but let himself fade into the background instead of joining in. Many times over the past few months his father had checked in with him, asking about Arnie and Christine, and each time he had wanted to open up but couldn't. He was afraid that it would only put him in danger, but Christine's rain of terror was over now.
“Hey, dad… I was thinking maybe we could talk later.” He said without fully having processed what he was doing. Though he knew that it was what he needed to do. If he didn't talk to someone other than Leigh, then he feared he would push himself towards insanity. After seeing Arnie in the nurse's office, and those headlights when she shone the torch, he didn't feel too far from it.
“Oh…” His father seemed initially surprised at the suggestion, then a small smile broke on his face. “Yes, I'd like that very much.”
“After dinner?”
“Whenever you'd like.”
Dennis nodded, and feeling a little lighter than before, twirled several spaghetti noodles around on his fork and started to eat properly. The food was nearly cold by now, but it didn't bother him. He was relieved to be able to open up without having to worry about putting anyone in danger. With that weight lifted, his appetite made a return. The rest of dinner passed by in a blur of conversation and once they'd finished up, Leigh offered to help his mother tidy up in the kitchen, while Elaine returned to her bedroom, giving him the perfect opportunity to catch his dad alone in the front room while repeats of the last football game were being shown on TV.
“I'll be back.” He stated absentmindedly to Leigh, and then joined his father in the front room.
As soon as he perched on the opposite end of the couch, his father reached for the remote and lowered the volume of the TV, then shifted so that he was facing him. It became clear then that this was a moment that had been waited for, probably since the first time he had mentioned Arnie and Christine to his father, and for a split second, he reconsidered. But there was nothing to be afraid of now. Nothing bad could happen just because he decided to open up, not with the threat long gone.
“Would now be a good time?” He prompted.
“As good as any.” His father answered. “I've been worried about you since the start of last summer, Dennis. Between your accident and losing Arnie, I've been waiting for you to come to me.”
“I know.” He sighed. “And believe me, I've been wanting to but there are reasons why I couldn't until now.”
“But those reasons aren't valid anymore?”
“No.” He confirmed.
“Then tell me, what's going on with you?”
“It's a long story… and you probably already guessed that it starts with Arnie and Christine.” He began. “If it weren't for me, Arnie would never have bought Christine. I should have just kept driving when he asked me to stop, but how could I? I didn't see what he saw, I didn't know any better. Everything turned into a shit show after that, Arnie started to change and people started dying. My accident wouldn't have even happened, but I saw him and Leigh… and that damn car and I got distracted. It cost me, and being stuck in that hospital bed I couldn't keep up with Arnie and the changes. He hardly came to see me and I guess that's when he really fell far…” Dennis went on to explain everything else, all of the individual deaths and how the car was responsible, and being caught in a web between Arnie and Leigh, and how it was all because of Lebay, the man who originally owned Christine. He explained the plan they'd devised to take out the car, and how Arnie had died too, and the guilt that it had caused, finishing with the confusion between himself and Leigh, and what had happened back in the nurse's office. “So, it's kinda hard to settle back into what is considered normal after knowing all that I know.”
Silence settled between them for a few minutes, Dennis going over everything in his head again and again, and his father processing everything that he'd just been told. Throughout the summer he had always reminded him to look out for Arnie, hinting that there was something up with the kid, but he hadn't realized the extent of it, and just how hard he had tried to keep him from going over the edge.
“Look, no one blames you for Arnie's death or for what happened with Christine. The only ones to blame for that mess are Arnie, and this Roland LeBay you mentioned. You have your own life to live, and Leigh too… from what you've told me, it seems that she's not getting that just yet. You went to see Arnie and you relieved yourself of that guilt, maybe she needs to do the same. In her own way and her own time, of course. That doesn't mean you should wait around forever though, you've got to do what's best for you.” His father stated. “And as for Arnie… be proud of yourself for trying, for being a good friend even when he turned into a shitty one. I'm sure that he is now at peace, so isn't it about time that you found yours?”
A frown tugged between Dennis's eyebrows, and he nodded. He had done all he could do where Arnie and Christine were concerned, and he realized that his dad was right. He'd been too focused on saving Arnie, and trying to reason with Leigh that he'd forgotten about himself.
“Yeah.” He agreed quietly. “That's what I'm trying to do.”
“A good start would be finding a college.” His dad suggested. “I've noticed you haven't been applying to any schools.”
“I just… I don't know what I want to do.” He shrugged. “Before the accident I was sure I had a promising career in football, I never even considered anything else. I'm still trying to figure that out.”
“Well, try to think some more about it. You don't want to end up stuck after you graduate with a job that doesn't make you happy in a place you don't like.”
“Yeah, I know that, dad.”
“Just a friendly piece of advice.”
“Anyway…” Dennis said, getting up from where he was sitting. “I should probably go and offer Leigh a lift home.”
Before any more advice could be dished out, he trailed off into the kitchen just as Leigh and his mother finished with the washing up, and plastered the fakest smile he could manage on his face.
“I like this one, Dennis. She's fun.” His mother beamed.
“That she is.” He nodded. “I was actually going to see if you wanted a lift home.”
“Oh nonsense, let the girl stay. Maybe you could pop in a movie, I'll bake up some snacks.”
“I'm sure she's got things to do, ma.”
“Not really.” Leigh answered.
“That's right, I forgot. Your parents are out of town.”
“All the more reason to let her stay.” His mother encouraged.
“Come on, don't pressure her. Besides, from what she told me I don't think she'd wanna spend all night here.” He protested, sounding disappointed but secretly hoping that she would agree with him.
“I wouldn't be totally against it.” Leigh smiled.
Dennis exhaled a silent breath, knowing he'd already lost to the power of the women in his life, and mentally prepared himself for the long night ahead of him. It was hard enough being trapped in the car with Leigh after she'd lied to his face, but an entire night would be torture for his already fractured heart.
“Then it's settled.” His mother decided. “Ah, providing you're okay with that, Dennis?”
No. “Yes.” He forced the word out as fast as he could before he found the courage to speak against it.
“Great, I'll break out the air mattress and we can put it on the floor in your bedroom for her to stay.”
“No, that's okay. She can have my bed, I'll take the air mattress.”
“Oh no, I couldn't possibly-”
“Really, I uh- I insist.”
“Well, okay then.” Leigh agreed reluctantly.
“My only rules are no snoring or drooling, and when it comes to movies, no chick flicks.” He teased playfully, and Leigh broke into a grin.
“Why don't the two of you go and get settled and I'll get your father to bring up the snacks when they're ready?”
“Thanks, ma.”
With everything settled, he trailed out into the hall and up the stairs to his room without waiting for Leigh. He was more nervous about the night ahead than he'd let on, as it was hard to be around her when she'd been trying to avoid him, but after the mixed signals she'd been sending him, it would be even harder. Before he could lose himself down that trail of thoughts, Leigh appeared in the room.
“I have a rather small collection of tapes, but I'm sure we can find something worth watching.”
“Anything is fine with me.” She shrugged. “But I was thinking we could talk…”
“We already have, and based on everything that was said on your end, we have nothing left to talk about.”
“You know, it's not my fault that I have a history with Arnie and you can't just expect that to go away because he's gone.” She snapped.
“I never said it was, or that it should.” He reminded her flatly. “And if the conversation is just going to lead back to him and Christine again, then I'm not interested. I don't like being stuck in a loop.”
“Well, I don't know what else to say… every conversation we've ever had has been centered around him.”
“That's the problem, Leigh.” He pointed out. “Let's just find a movie.”
Leigh heaved a sigh, but gave up instead of pushing him and knelt on the floor beside him, where he was running his fingers along several video cassette cases.
“What are you in the mood for?”
“You know on second thoughts, maybe we can chill with some music instead and talk.”
“So, you do want to talk?” She frowned.
“Yes.” He answered. “But not about Arnie or Christine. It's about time we got to know each other outside of all that.”
“I don't know…”
“Leigh, you've gotta let this go. Staying stuck in the past, the guilt over Arnie, it's not healthy.” He pushed. “If you have ever cared about me at all, and weren't just using me as your fuck buddy while trying to save Arnie, then please prove it to me.”
“I wasn't using you, Dennis.” She denied, picking out a music tape and handing it to him.
“No?” He raised an eyebrow as he took the tape and put it in the player. “I'm not asking you to perform rocket science, I just want honesty. If I'm not what you want then I'm begging you, please set me free.”
“I do want you… but I don't think it's right that we feel this way.”
“Then, tell me what you think is right?”
“Honestly… I don't know anymore.”
“If that's the case then how can you say what isn't right?”
“Are we just going to go in circles or are you going to play that tape?” She asked, dodging the challenge.
Dennis's eyes darkened, but instead of arguing, he poked the play button with his finger and listened to the little humming sound before the music cut in. His stomach dropped as he registered the song that was playing, and for a split second, he could have sworn that his heart stopped. As the song neared the chorus, he wanted to press the skip button but no matter how much he willed it, his hand wouldn't move.
‘You keep on knocking but you can't come in.’
Even as the lyrics changed, those nine words echoed in his mind, and suddenly he was no longer in his bedroom with Leigh, but climbing through the window of Darnell's garage, getting a closer look at Christine upon Mr Cunningham's request. He could see her red leather interior, waiting for her owner's return, and despite the little voice in his head that told him not to, he reached out and the second that his fingers grazed the silver handle, Christine's radio lit up green and music began blaring.
‘You keep on knocking but you can't come in.”
That was enough for him. He bolted back towards the window and climbed up and through it.
“Dennis?”
Leigh's voice cut through the music, loosening his tight chest and bringing him back to the present as he heaved for breath. Though the green glow of the radio remained in the vision behind his eyes. Still knelt on the floor, he fell onto his backside and pressed his back to the wall, unable to see past the memory of Christine.
“Dennis?”
“Turn it off.” He whispered, barely able to find the words.
“What? Why?”
“Just turn it off!” He snapped and clamped his hands over his ears, trying to drown it out.
Leigh's eyes widened, confused by his sudden outburst, but taking note of his reddened face, his eyes that were screwed shut, and the shaking of his body, she leaned across him and hit the pause button on the player. The music stopped mid-song, leaving behind a static silence, but Dennis remained against the wall.
“It's off now.” She said, feeling stupid for saying something that he already knew.
“I want to see her.” He blurted, lowering his hands from his head.
“Who?”
“Christine.”
“What? No! Dennis, are you insane?”
“No, but it's driving me crazy.” He admitted. “I see a flash of lights and I'm convinced it's her headlights, I hear that song and it's like I'm back in Darnell's, and I saw Arnie after I collapsed… Leigh, he's everywhere. I can feel him, and not just him.”
“Christine is gone, and you need to move on. Going to see her isn't going to help. It's all in your head. I know because it's in mine too.”
“All in my head?” He repeated, his voice hoarse and his mouth like sandpaper. “That's exactly why I need to see her. I need to know that it is just in my head.”
“Dennis-”
“I'm going to see her.” He announced, jumping to his feet and grabbing his car keys from the nightstand. “Right now.”
“Come on, don't torture yourself. Let it go.”
“I can't.” He sighed. “It's killing me, Leigh.”
“After the day you've had, you're not thinking straight. Just sleep on it and-”
“I'm going. Now.” He insisted. “Are you coming or not?”