"I told you to stop following me," Daryl complains.
"Oh? You want me to lead the way?" I wonder.
"That's not what I said."
"It's what I heard," I dismiss and hop over a log.
"Are you even supposed to be out here?"
"I'm a grown-ass woman, Dixon. I do as I please."
"And yet you choose to stick to my ass."
"Ew, no way. That shit ain't been washed in years."
Daryl scoffs and kneels to the ground. I rock on my heels as he looks at a track I couldn't see- it just looks like dirt and sticks in my eyes.
"You know if you invested in some good shampoo and conditioner, your hair wouldn't be so greasy," I advise. "And I know some great products from Korea to get rid of that acne."
"You talk way too damn much. I should stick a bolt in you."
"That's hot. But, you're not my type, Old Man."
"You ain't mine, either, kid."
"I'm nineteen."
"And I'm thirty-four."
"Damn, okay, Ahjussi."
(trans. ahjussi: a term to address an older man/uncle)
He stands back up and begins following some indivisible trail.
"So, if you're thirty.. is Merle like.. seventy?"
"Fifty-something," he answers.
"I'll get his retirement speech ready," I mumble, kicking a twig aside.
"You worried about your little boyfriend?"
"Boyfriend?"
"Glenn."
I make a face. "Oppa is not my boyfriend. He's not my type, either. He's like a brother."
"You sure got a specific type for someone in the end of the world."
"Dead bitches crawling outta their holes doesn't mean I lost my value."
"I'm so glad you got your self-worth," he says with a sarcastic scoff.
"Ahjussi, I've been through a lot of men.. I know when to throw out the bad ones."
"Bad ones?"
"Cheaters. Liars. Dudes that are almost thirty and still call their parents 'mommy' and 'daddy'. Guys that are in debt because they are fixing up a 'razor' or a four-wheeler. Dudes that judge women who walk by. Groomers."
"You sure you even like men at this point?"
"Oh, believe me, I've tried women, too. Didn't get far there, either."
"You think maybe you're the problem?"
"I am literally perfect, Ahjussi."
Daryl snorts and I laugh.
"Ain't nobody perfect."
"Okay, Hannah Montana."
"Do you even know my damn name?"
I tap my chin in thought. "Deer-yl."
"Stop," he says and rolls his eyes, though I saw the glimmer of a smile on his lips.
"Speaking of deer.. are you gonna get one?"
"Maybe if you stop talking."
Shit. I put my hands behind my back and feign an innocent look like a doting partner.
--
Daryl had only had a few squirrels by the time night rolled around. Instead of tracking back to camp, we set up a makeshift spot for the night.
"How'd you learn that?" he wonders.
"There are many things you don't know about me, Ahjussi," I respond, setting some extra wood in the fire, though keeping it dim in case geeks were around.
I pull my knees to my chest and stare at the fire, picking at one of the many bracelets on my wrists.
I hated nighttime solely for the fact of it making me think of the day. I trace back things that made me worry. Things I said that was stupid.
I think about Glenn, Jacqui, and others going to Atlanta. I was so used to runs being just Glenn and I now. We worked well as a team. We were fast and smooth (save for my stupid mistake and injury). My hopes were that they were already back at camp by now. Safe.
I think about my snide comment to Shane about calling Lori 'mom'. What did that mean, really? Shane has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Our cat-and-mouse games from my youth. Him taking me in and raising me. Helping me figure my life out. Making me into a better person. Honestly, Shane was the closest thing to a father I've known. My own father was killed when I was young. Even then, my birth father was so distant. Shane was that for me.. he's all I've known as a paternal figure.
Lori and Rick have been there, too. Rick was a part of those cat-and-mouse games. Lori was a woman that I didn't get along with. Rick still looked out for me. Lori held me at arm's length, but now that I look back on it, I don't blame her.
I've been in their lives, too. I guess that's the confusing part. While they had such an immense impact on me, I still found it hard to believe that I also impacted their lives. But, when Shane and Carl said how they loved me, I knew it was true. And Lori and I have even made progress from our past selves.
Maybe it was the closeness that made me so worried about what Shane and Lori were doing.
Lori is grieving Rick.. I know that. I also know that Shane is grieving Rick, too.
But.. something just felt so off about it. It was strange.
Shane, Rick, and Lori knew each other long before Carl and I came into the picture. They were middle school and high school friends. It seemed like Shane and Lori were playing the long game with whatever they had going on. But, there's still Rick.
Sure, Rick is dead. It hurts. It sucks to the highest degree and I'm still trying to figure it out. They are allowed to move on. They are allowed to find happiness.
With each other, though? There has to be some kind of line drawn of not fucking your dead best friend's widow. Or fucking your dead husband's best friend- brother, really. And less than a month since dead guy died, at that.
"You care for Shane and them, huh?" Daryl's voice cuts in, making me jump.
"Hmm?"
"Shane said he adopted you a long time ago.. you care for Lori and the kid, too."
"Yeah," I agree, wondering if he was reading my mind. "They're family."
"You mind doing me a favor?"
"Depends.." I squint at him.
"Keep 'em safe.. When we get back.. just make sure they're sleeping in their tents."
My brows wrinkle and I go to ask what he means. But, he rolls over on his side, putting his back to me and the fire.
𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--
they are literally besties
hyejin and daryl: