> ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅ ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛs
"𝘌𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨."
To change we must first know how to live authentically.
To live authentically is to live according to your values, your beliefs and have goals that you wish to pursue a "meaningful life." It's more challenging than it sounds. It would be helpful if there was some guide for us to live as our best possible selves, but perhaps the universe took it upon itself and declared that experience is the best teacher. Newborn compounds conjure from nothing to something, to someone, in the game we call life. The only objective that we have is to survive and reproduce.
Perhaps along the way you pick up skills from your environments. Make a name for yourself to be a unique individual, to distract the thought of the impending nothingness when you die. It could be getting into sports, spending time within the community, or indulging yourself in artistry.
Even working at a corner store didn't sound so bad.
Those things seem futile at first, but that's what's been drilled into our minds. To experience what the universe throws at us and .in so, we abide by the rules. By then you have made a plan for yourself, writing down and imagining the impossible from your youth to make them reality. You keep yourself in this repetitive cycle of working and wishing as the years go on.
So by the peak of your youth, you set yourself on this coming-of-age journey. Packing all the equipment you need to venture into the looming mountain that rises above your head. Many warned you of the risks, fleeting words that pass from one ear to the next. You're too determined to conform, only fueling the need to complete your quest.
The first steps from the ground are easy, firmly implanting your pick against the tough texture. It holds your weight just a few meters from the ground. You smiled to yourself, following the straightforward path. On some occasions, you breeze through each deep slope. No sighs of danger, just you and the mountain. You wonder to yourself, why so many have failed when you reach the halfway point. Shivering at the cold as you turn to the horizon.
On other nights, the terrain is against you. The smooth slopes turn into jagged teeth, piercing through your fingertips and toes. The mountain roars in fury, shaking you off like a pest. Your pick can't seem to find a sturdy spot to support your body, as the ground becomes your best friend.
Yet you persist through the obstacles that block your way from your end goal. Thrashing, wailing, clinging to the slippy slopes of the icy edges, the further you climb the harder you'll hit the ground. You've come so far, so why stop? Bloodied and tattered to your last breath, you swear that you will conquer the mighty beast.
Even if it kills you.
So let's say you did climb that mountain. All the trouble finally pays off, and with great difficulty you heave. Smouldering your shoulder over the last edge as you lay, chest to the sky. The tears fall down your broken skin from agony but despite everything, it's still you.
You, who was brave enough at the top of the mountain
You would jump to your feet, anticipating the view from above as you look over the horizon. Yet you couldn't find it in yourself to smile once more as you rubbed the soot off your face. Gasping, at the utter realisation of why many don't make it to the top.
"What now?"
For some reason, the view from the top entices you to kiss the ground.
So on that night, you sit at the mountain. Crying to the cosmos, asking, demanding answers to your purpose. The meaning of life many search for. It could be a simple:
"Why am I here?"
Or,
"Is this it for the rest of my life?"
Only to meet the silence of the stars that shine brighter than your fizzled spirits. Lost in your thoughts.
Sounds cruel doesn't it? The beliefs and idealism, the goals and achievements we hold to ourselves can crumble in an instant at the fact that it leaves us all to nought. Our constructs are conscious to live and breathe in this very moment, yet it is the universe's hellish paradise we're thrown into. We never consented to be born, yet we still take that gamble in life. Some find themselves winning the lottery, infinity to near zero while everyone else is mushed together into one uncategorised pile, like you.
Yet we exist to exist, going from the beginning stages of birth to childhood, then adult life to death. And we do it all over again, to play the same charade. Not because we want it, but because we need to.
Our entire lifetimes, we trust the chemicals in our minds to make our judgements, our hopes, and our dreams. All our internal knowledge is ultimately based on what is mere fact or fiction. Should we fight back? Or perish like the dogs we are?
Nonetheless, you stay at the mountaintop. The thin air detoxs your lungs with an icy sensation. Sitting on the dirt to just admire what was once impossible became possible. That was your purpose, wasn't it? What you've been training for, this entire moment but there's that feeling again.
So why live authentically?
There was no other way to go but straight back down.
It makes sense to kill oneself when you're "done" with life. Justified even, especially when you've come so far. It was cowardly to give up, but why torture yourself by living at all? Why suffer every day to live with the static you hear when you wake up in the morning? To sleep as the universe broadcasts it to invite onlookers to your reality show. To showcase the game it created. If you're so unhappy with life, then it's easy to be reborn into another or to be transported to the pearly gates. Or wake up in a much more befitting hell than reality.
Whatever religion or ideology was right, it didn't matter.
Because the consequences of your end would be the only thing that would make sense to you at least.
Maybe that's why you continue to exist in the absurdity of mediocrity.
"So that's where you two ran off." Undyne gleamed. She wrapped an arm around Edge who uncomfortablely leaned away. Her shark-like yellow teeth reflected off the sunset. "Was wondering Edge might've captured a human again!"
Or so you thought.
Undyne smirked pulling away from the scowling skeleton. She boastfully heaved with her chest, going on about a few stories of the three skeletons and their bizarre adventures. All with a snarky grin as Alphys nervously tapped her claws together, hesitantly agreeing to her recounted events.
You listened intently, nodding along.
Friends weren't some new concept. Going back to your beliefs that in your adult life, you don't have "friends", you have a bunch of friends. People in your life, either at work or your humble neighbours down the street. Usually, people either cut ties or lose contact with their childhood friends and loved ones as they grow up. It's heartbreaking, for a bond to be severed in the ever-changing times, even with the rise of the internet. You can't ever get them back no matter how many times you slip away between their fingertips.
Special people come into your life at one point, make their mark on you and then go off into the world. Physically you can't ever see them again, but it's the memories they shared with you that were worth it, right? They're the reason for who you are today.
"I was thinking we should have a girl's night at my place!" Jessabell suggested clapping her hands together. "I need more people to rant about Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!" She made a snide remark that she can now officially declare that "No Big Brothers" are allowed. Not that you would offer anyway, yet it did manage a strained eye-roll from you.
"O-Oh definitely!" Aplhys chimed in fumbling with her claws.
"Hell yeah punk! Nerdy trash is what we live for!"
Three enthusiastic women laughed, however, their upbeat personalities were interrupted by Blanca's yawn. Instantly her girlfriend clung to her side, as the latter apologised. That was the sign that the movie adventure was coming to a close. The eight of you meet in the middle to then part ways. Saddening, but you were looking forward to throwing your pink wig and dress while you flopped in the comfort of your bed.
The fish lady whipped out her keys, stating she'd start the van. However, her final glance landed on you. "You're a pretty cool human, nice to finally meet you. We should hang out again." You mirrored her smile. "Plus we need more taller people! You shorties are seriously killin' my back."
Heartfelt goodbyes were held, a bit too heartfelt when you felt Blue crash into your middle, almost toppling you down to the ground, a small yelp escaping your lips. Yet he firmly held you in place, arms around your torso tightly.
"I'LL MISS YOU, (Y/N)!"
You looked down at him with a small beam. "Aren't we going to see each other at my place?"
"BUT STILL!"
You chuckled at his words, snaking your arms over his to reach around his neck. "I'll miss you too, Blue. Just don't fall me down whenever you see me."
A cyan blush coated his cheeks with a playful wink. He looked like he wanted to spill another jab your way but Edge rudely interrupted. Hurrying the display of affection by calling shotgun on the front seat. He reluctantly let go, about to race the taller skeleton for the seat, not before waving his hand for one last goodbye.
"EDGE! YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS WHEN WE ALREADY AGREED THAT THE MAGNIFICENT ME WOULD SIT IN THE FRONT!"
"HURRY UP THEN YOU STUPID MARSHMELLOW!"
"See ya guys."
Such silly skeletons.
The flimsy pickaxe, pulling out the sharp point from the mountain would make you tumble down to the depths of the unknown. However, the sound of implanting it on a slope that was strong enough to lift yourself was intimidating enough. A coward such as yourself wouldn't dare leap from one point to another, so you dangle in the cold winds.
Day in and day out, the same routine you've built yourself. You're no stranger to it, being in your mid-twenties it was romanticised on what's to come. Moving out, getting into college or a nine-to-five job. It's expected from you and many others when growing up, so you have no right to complain when so many others are less fortunate than you. You'd be called ungrateful after all.
It's better to keep your head down, secluded to you and those around you. Mindlessly passing life as you, the person you are right now. And society needs its millions of cogs for the clockwork to start.
Depressing you may call it, but in actuality it's satisfactory. You had to learn that maybe climbing that mountain wasn't the best for you when reacted with disappointment. Life was full of them anyway, so why let it get a reaction out of you time and time again? It's better to wallow in the sanctuary of the corner store.
Everything made sense to you that way. The numbers on the cashier, the stock numbers on inventory and the regulars that love to talk your ear off to oblivion.
You're fine with that because that's what made sense to you.
Whatever authenticity wrapped its finger around your body weakened, allowing some wiggle room. You didn't need to shoot for the mountaintop again and you knew you weren't ready either way. You can just spend the rest of your twenties in a predictable lifestyle with an average life.
Just you and behind the counter.
So what interest would anyone have with a small functional cog in society have in a colourful set of individuals who ran the system? They knew the ins and outs, they'd read the guide, and they climbed their mountains, right?
Undyne and Alphys were already gone with the two racing skeletons, not before sending your farewells. Blanca was leaning on Jess' shoulder, slowly dozing off in the background. You fished out your keys opting to retreat to your car.
Papyrus, however, exclaimed. Stopping you for a brief moment. A flash of hesitance behind his void sockets caused an inconspicuous brow to rise.
The dark-skinned woman insisted that the two would go ahead, a knowing grin growing between her plump lips. Before you could object her hands swiped your keys off your hands, dragging the faceless monster to your car. You're now left alone with Papyrus, as you two awkwardly stare at each other.
You both let out the first words of your sentence but when one thing leads to another, it ends up in a detangled mess of apologies and "you go first". You begged for the knife to stop carving out the blood, rushing to every bit of your heated skin. Rubbing the wound away with a stern expression.
Nonetheless, it all melts away, that charming smile hypnotizing you to his comforting atmosphere. You found yourself laughing along to his merry tune.
"HUMAN! I'M GLAD I- WE GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU!" Your heart clenched at his words, mirroring his words. You nodded with your beam. But he didn't stop with his words of affirmation, pulling out a small white cardboard box from behind.
"I GOT YOU THIS SINCE IT REMINDED ME OF YOU!" He pushed the box to your hands but you refused his generosity. Already stumbling at your words at his sweet heartfelt actions. You didn't deserve such a gift, especially one that was decorated so elegantly.
"You didn't have to. I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." You chuckled.
"NEVER FRET DEAR HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALREADY GRATEFUL ENOUGH TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND!" He laughed, but his words trailed off at his last sentence. "You Deserve The World."
A small pebble in your still heart, rippling the lake to disturb the peace. You chewed the inside of your cheek, taking note of how he inspected you intensely. The sunlight behind his body shined brightly behind him as dusk kissed the horizon with its humble lips yet again. The same purple and orange swept at each other's feet to the embrace of the blue sky.
In awe, you wondered, has the world looked this colourful before?
"OPEN IT WHEN YOU GET HOME, OKAY?"
Muddled but you slowly bobbed your head up and down, thanking him again. There were a lot of those today. Yet, despite everything, he still smiled at you.
You held the box close to your chest, the rhythm of your heart singing along to the steady beat of the wind.
"I'll see you soon, right?"
"OF COURSE, FRIEND! CALIBRATING PUZZLES ARE MY SPECIALTY AFTER ALL! NYEH HEH HEH!" He struck the heroic pose you've grown to love.
You laughed along with him but died down when his hand reached up towards your head, to stroke stroking it affectionately. Although the synthetic barrier was there, you easily felt the electricity vibrate on your scalp. An innocent action that replayed in your head, transporting you into a dream-like state to close your eyes for a brief moment. Greedily soaking up his warmth like the sponge you were.
"Stay Safe, (Y/N)."
"You too."
There he goes, watching him fade away.
A shared laughter murmured behind you.
"Stay safe, (Y/N). My love~"
"I'll stay so safe for you, baby."
The two girls would've started locking licks obnoxiously loud if it wasn't for your heated glare.
The drive back home was quiet, Blanca and Jess stationed at the back. The monster's head leaned against her girlfriend's shoulder as the low buzz of the radio played a catchy tune. You heard Jessabell call out your name from the static as you turned on your indicator to take a turn to her house. Half listening as today's events still replayed in the back of your mind like a broken record.
"Blanca told me about what happened between the two of you." She murmured. "She's not mad. She's really happy in fact, about what you said to her."
You stayed silent, focusing your eyes on the road. But she didn't dismiss that fact of your hand on the wheel tightening for a second. She sighed, stroking Blanca's hair, with her eyes darting to the rearview mirror. "We're here for you. I'm here for you, you're my big brother." The tip of her paintbrush dipped into your water dyeing it with her solace. There was a saying, along the lines of comfort and consolation. To be comforted without consolation, and vice versa.
You ought to downplay her words but she was quick to cut you off yet again. The more she spoke, the more you tucked yourself away in the driver's seat.
Jessabell knew of the mountain that you once spoke off. Even at her age, she too faced that same mountain, maybe even taller than yours. But she was willing to lend you her hand to pull you up from the ledge. The choice rested on your shoulders since she couldn't force it upon you, but she never pulled away.
You stopped the car right in front of her house. The young lady shook her partner awake. You briefly glanced at the rearview mirror, Jessabell's butterfly kiss fluttered against her translucent skin. They both thanked you as they exited your car, waving you off. But as the monster stood by her front door, Jess trailed behind, tapping on your window.
You rolled it down, her hazel eyes boring into yours. You kissed your teeth, spinelessly looking away.
"You shouldn't keep your girlfriend waiting" You joked, only for a sigh to escape her lips.
"You're important too."
"I needed a smoke, that's all." You replied nonchalantly.
"I know you, (Y/N). And I know that whatever's something's buggin' you, you stay in that mind of yours." Although a light giggle left her lips, it didn't meet her eyes. "I know I can be annoying, but you worry me sometimes. I can't help but notice you shut yourself out. Did we say something wrong?"
"No." You object in a heartbeat, startling her. You had to readjust your tone again, your eyes drawing to the empty road. "I just remembered something, and I needed to step away. I didn't want to ruin today."
She calls your name in disbelief. " You don't ruin things (Y/N)! I told you we love having you around!" Her tone then softens, reaching her hand across the car window to squeeze your shoulder. Your head snaps to her comforting gaze. "You can depend on us, just like we're so dependent on you. You're not alone, and nothing is going to change that. Don't forget that, okay?"
At that very moment, a window of opportunity opened to freedom. As they say, a chat session in the car is almost like therapy. It sticks with you, forcing you down with the shackles of your seatbelt to expose the bitter truth or a beautiful lie.
"I love you, (Y/N)." She murmured.
"I love you too."
"Don't be afraid of yourself."
Ashamed you looked away. Your hands on the wheel were a slip and slide as your sweaty palms slightly trembled. A curt nod was all she got from you. Short but understandable, the light in her expression returning once again. She left you be, with a short goodbye, leaning away from the window to escort her love into her home.
You found an ounce of reluctance to drive away burned right through you. You honked your horn at the young adults as they both snapped their necks in your direction.
"What about the cosplay?" You yelled from the driver's seat. A distant laugh bellowed from her stomach, cheekily waving her hands at you.
"Keep it! I did make it for you!" She yelled back as you playfully rolled your eyes. "Aren't I your favourite person in the world?"
"I thought you were my favourite co-worker!"
The woman's laughs drew far as you sped away, back home.
The moment you walked in, your shoulders slumped to your side, circling to the side to ease the weight. The hour hand just hit seven o'clock. The desolate darkness of your apartment complex basked in a shade of white as you flicked the lights. Your legs sluggishly held themselves together, flopping your tall body to kiss the couch.
With a groan, you lazily dragged the synthetic wig and cap off your head. You didn't even need a mirror to see the marks it left on your hairline, let alone your now smudged makeup. What was left was the box Papyrus gave you, patiently waiting to be opened on the coffee table.
The curtain pulled at your eyelids, but you refused to pass out. With the downtime you had, you scrolled on your phone. Your eyes burned against the blue light, focusing on your vision at the popped-up notifications on your home screen. Some from your skeleton friends, mainly Blue sending photos and Edge reminding you of your "training day."
Taco Enthusiast ✨
Human!!! I sent the pics hehe
Taco Enthusiast ✨sent three photos
Sleep well! :D
Edgelord
Do Not Be Late For Your Training.
And Do Not Keep Me Waiting.
You inwardly sighed, a day between the two of you would be interesting.
You quickly replied to their messages, sending them a simple goodnight. Just as you were about to swing over upright a few more passed through.
Papyrus ‼️
(Y/N)!!
DID YOU GET HOME SAFE? SORRY TO BOTHER YOU!
You furrowed your brows, typing a response.
You
You're not bothering me
I just got home :)
Papyrus ‼️
EXCELLENT!
DID YOU OPEN THE GIFT I GOT YOU? I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ♡
Oh right. You propped the box on your lap, gently opening the flaps. You caught yourself gawking when you lifted the lid. Before you was a perfect slice of strawberry vanilla cheesecake, enticing you to its sugary goodness. The dessert was baked and decorated with care and passion. The fluffy texture bounced with life as you carefully set it on the table. The strawberry fruit sat perfectly on the top, with strawberry syrup pooling beneath it. The sweet smell tickled your nose, your mouth salivating at the anticipating flours that'll melt on your tongue. it was such a gorgeous sight, you almost refused to disturb its perfect composition.
You felt your heart skip a beat, giggling yourself as you replied to his message.
You
I love it! I didn't think you'd remember tbh lol
Again you seriously didn't have to
it looks so expensive you shouldn't have spent that much on me
Papyrus ‼️
NONSENSE FRIEND! I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT!
AND I LIKE TAKING CARE OF YOU!
SLEEP WELL I'LL SEE YOU SOON!
WISHING YOU A GOOD NIGHT (Y/N)! ♡
You
Night!
You held your phone to your chest, feeling your racing heart against your fingertips. Despite your neutral expression, a wave of giddiness latches onto your essence. Rotting on the guilty pleasure that tugged at your lips. You almost forgot to breathe, letting out a shaky sigh as your eyes finally tore away from the piece of cake.
Neatly sealing the cake into its container to store in the fridge. Fortunately, you can look forward to a good meal in the morning. You did your nightly routine and changed into your pyjamas, a loose tank top and sweatpants. However, the moment you lay on your bed your eyelids were glued to the top of your head.
Doubt was the guest who overstayed their welcome in that head of yours. Trapped in your delusions and scenarios as the world revolved without you.
You still cringed at your introverted mannerism, scolding yourself at your frantic fidgeting or unintentional aloofness in your responses. The events played like a broken record as you cried in agony, asking yourself for the billionth time "Why did I say that?" Even just now with your texts, you can't help but overthink and analyse your tone and word choice to get your point across.
Ironic, that a person in retail can't talk to people properly.
Perhaps you were the cynical one here, abrasive to people's wishes as you fulfilled theirs. It was easier to please those around you since they didn't need to focus on your internal problems. Either working or going along with whatever you encounter. You could have laughed when Jessabell brought that up earlier.
But she was right, that's the problem with you. You had the habit of running away the moment you were presented with newfound relationships, platonic or not. You desperately try to find that love wherever you go since it was never given to you freely. Yet, when the opportunity someone offers that love you give others you run away. Back to the sanctuary where everything made sense to you.
As they call your name...
...but you don't answer.
Your mind travels back to Papyrus as your fingers massage your scalp in the exact place he caressed it.
Papyrus.
Papyrus was such a kind monster. To grace himself with your humble presence, let alone think about you. You flushed as Posiden unleashed his waves onto your nimble figure. To be utterly smitten by a single action by each tide slapping your face, you found yourself enamoured. The newfound tides overwhelm your body in a rush of heat, soaking up yet again like the sponge you are.
You wondered if he felt that exact anxiety that plagues your mind. As extroverted as he was, what troubles his mind as he lays in bed? When the two of you first met, you wondered what would happen if he refrained from speaking about himself. Would the two of you just remain a simple employee and customer relationship as you lock yourself away from him? Just glossing over basic introductions and certain things about one another.
Then again, you wouldn't have been able to connect with Papyrus and the others.
Is that why the knife embedded in your chest seeped blood into your shirt?
'Exactly what you run from, you end up chasing.'
Nobody is the same person, twice.
Not even you.
Perhaps you'll climb that mountain again.
✧༺♥༻∞
Normally you would see Sans slacking off in every nook and cranny you could squeeze himself into. Lounging about, throwing some bad puns here and there. That's what he was perceived as, just a goofy skeleton who smelt of ketchup and snow.
When he's not out throwing a bone about he'd be sleeping around the house. However, at a time like this, in the same cluttered room, his sockets stared at the barren ceiling. It was almost as if two small toothpicks were between his eye sockets, no matter how hard he closed them they refused to snap.
The King of Laziness, wide awake in the dead of night.
You could call Sans so lazy that he was lazy to be lazy. Or was that it's on paradox within itself? Nonetheless, here he was, still awake in the dead of night. Aimlessly staring at the ceiling with heavy eye sockets. The darkness of his room consumed him, discomforted by the silence but powerless to fight back. So he just lays there, still in the vast ocean of nothingness as a massive boulder pushes him to the ocean floor.
He asked himself why tonight, of all nights, daunted him. Prehaps from earlier, way earlier flashed in the back of his mind as much as he shook them off. When you happen to find a strange device with the initials "C.H.", you reckon this thing would come with instructions. Let alone explain the alternate universe skeletons epidemic.
Two years since new faces emerged from the Underground and two years since meeting his and his brother's alternate selves. Almost seemed like an eternity, regardless of everyone's "perception" of the six before breaking the barrier. The odd familiarity with his friend he knew each cycle, the false reminiscence shared between them.
What exactly did the RESET do this time?
That special power, to go back to the beginning. It made sense to just go back, and eventually, things would return back to "normal."
But it refused.
Futile to question what he was powerless to, the omnipotent power he couldn't fathom as he and the rest of the monster's SOULS were as disposable as his socks scattered across his room. He didn't quite budge at the situation, the same faces uncannily similar to his. Perhaps it was the impending doom setting itself up as his next-door neighbour.
If his edgier version of himself and his swapped counterpart were the same, then cracking the mysteries of the convenient plot device should be easy. Tinkering about and going through the files of that monster. Even with just a couple of years gone by, there was nowhere near a breakthrough or even how the device worked.
Now that he's mentioned it, Alphys was right, this would be more convenient if there was a massive machine that needed fixing to solve the weird jumping of timelines and merging of universes.
Four skeletons merged into this universe, to rewrite the plot of his.
His universe.
"How can you be so sure that you aren't from a different timeline, too?"
Sans groaned, rolling to his side to check his phone. The screen burned his white pinpricks, rubbing his sleepy sockets to check the time for the billionth time. Exactly one in the morning, and exactly four hours since he read 'Peekaboo With Fluffy Bunny' to his brother before he slept. The ending always gets him, spoiler alert Fluffy Bunny gets a surprise party in the end. A classic Papyrus favourite, alongside his other one, 'Advanced Puzzle Construction for Critical Minds.'
Sans rubbed his temples, massaging the headache that threatened to become a migraine. He slowly rose from his lumpy mattress, kicking away the socks that fell to the floor. He'll pick those up later, and he meant later when it becomes a problem. Which should have been last month.
Nonetheless, he decided he should go out to breathe in the night's crisp air. He slung on his blue hoodie jacket, sliding into his fuzzy pink slippers before teleporting himself outside the mansion. The first second, the nothingness consumed him. Floating in space to the static, the carpet beneath his feet ripped right under him as time stood still. The next second, the outside shines on his skeletal body like a spotlight. The orange hue of a streetlight dyes his vision in a warm glow, his white dots adjusting to the dark.
At a time like this, he could enter Grillby's warm restaurant. Sitting behind the counter on a bar stool as the fire element monster scolded him about his tab side. Regardless, he still managed to weasel his way out of the place without paying a cent. Just like his sock collection piling in his room, he'll pay off his tab later.
So that left Sans wandering the streets. His consciousness dwindles as his body automatically drags his feet against the concrete pavement. Sleepless, alone and a bit hungry. His phalanges reach deep into the safety of his pockets to pull out anything but his favourite condiment.
Instead, it's the strange device that was the sole reason for his growing insomnia.
It stared back at him, the boxy tool fitted like a glove. If he switched it on, the same message of 'Incorrect Trait' would taunt him to the edge. For a pathfinder or something along the sorts, there was a possibility it was defective.
He sighed, shoving it back into his pockets. Leaving a ketchup-less skeleton at another roadblock.
But that didn't matter.
Sans was just going to deal with it, whatever happens, happens. With another year of his "cousins", giving up was just around the corner.
Corner...
Corner store.
By some miracle it was open, the clock was about to hit two in the morning. The white fluorescent lights from the outside illuminated his attire, his blue hoodie sticking out like a sore thumb. His ivory bones glowed against the harsh lights as he approached the glass doors, peering in.
There behind the cashier, the infamous corner store employee dotting on your duties. You ran like clockwork, never taking a second to stay put as you occupied yourself with measly tasks. Sometimes you'd leave your station to triple-check the inventory space, other times you'd tap away at the cashier, probably to tally up today's sales.
It reminded him of his younger brother's attentive behaviour, making his SOUL hum with harmony. It was then you finally noticed him by the store window. Statlered by his sudden appearance, but smiled nonetheless. You might as well turn the nickels into a dime with the recurring events.
He gave out his iconic wink, letting himself in as the glass doors parted like the Red Sea. You voluntarily stood behind the counter, the smile never leaving your lips as you greeted him. He could sense a tinge of drowsiness behind your tone.
"Evening, Sans. Didn't think you'd be the type to be up this late at night."
"must have sleptwalked." He replied, slouching his spine as he yawned into his fist. He didn't miss how your eyes glossed over with worry. Guess there was a tough crowd tonight, but Sans shrugged it off, asking where the ketchup was. You pointed him in the right direction, and in seconds he was back with the red bottle. Fishing out the cash as you punched it in the machine.
"I'll never understand you guys' love for strange condiments." You chuckled to yourself as you watched him press the nozzle to his teeth. A mental moment of satisfaction once the salty goodness laced his tastebuds. Whether it was from Grillby's not or, good ketchup was good ketchup.
And man, this was amazing.
He wiped his teeth, shoving the bottle in the safety of his hoodie pockets. He held his hands, shrugging your question off. "don't knock it before you try it." He quickly left a snide remark to your interpretation, eyeing your neutral expression. A yawn dragged from your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. Something about working the graveshift hours slipped into the mindless conversation.
"You doing okay? You don't need to keep me company."
If he wasn't grinning already then it would have stretched further, leaning towards the counter with that same slothful attitude. He briefly glances at the clock.
2:45 AM.
"heh, sounds like you wanna get rid of me. shouldn't you be the one bone tired?" Your eyes widened at his words, quickly backtracking. The soft chuckle ironed out your distress. "relax just messing with you."
The two you passed the time with frivolous topics. Sans learned that your boss roasted you for the late shifts the entire week. Although having the luxury to sleep all day and then work all night was one thing, he could tell from the slight eyebags you burned both ends of the candlestick. Your yawns were contagious as he was starting to fall asleep as well. He almost felt pity he was taking advantage of your drowsy state, making small talk to fill the nothingness in the air.
However, it was nice to just sit around and do nothing once in a while. Whatever was pestering beforehand melted away.
He wondered if you felt the same way.
"My shift is pretty much over." You went to close the cashier. "Let me walk you home."
"didn't think you'd pry yourself away from me." Sans winked his socket at you. "but if you're gonna pull my funny bone, i won't pass up the offer." He didn't need to see the eye roll you sent him before disappearing into the staff room to retrieve your things. He waited for you outside the corner store, taking in the sights before him.
His white eye lights shot upwards, admiring the starry night sky as they twinkled. The moon's sliver light dawned on him, hiding behind the mystic clouds for its rays to cast like a spotlight. He was so engrossed in his head he almost forgot to stop and admire the scenery around him.
The sound of jingling guys perked his nonexistent ears, turning his head to see you in your work uniform. Your bag slung over your shoulder. However, your eyes didn't meet his, instead looking up into the night sky. A slight jolt twitched at the corner of your lips.
"Hey, you mind for a quick detour?"
For some reason, he couldn't say no. You smiled, adjusting your bag to walk in front of him.
"Great, I know a shortcut."
✧༺♥༻∞
Your shortcut however wasn't even a shortcut at all. Walking down the street, maybe a bit faster than normal, but in record time the two of you managed to end up at the park. The stars were more visible in this part of town, Sans noted. He might bring his telescope here one night.
You lead him to sit up on a vacant bench up the hill. In the distance, the bright city lights and tall skyscrapers shined, full of monsters and humans but far from the lonely duo. Sitting in a small silence, just admiring the environment.
You broke the silence, popping open a can. His dots travelled to your beverage as you held the carbonated drink to your lips.
Grape soda.
Your eyebrows knitted themselves together, slowly retracting the drink with a tinge of disgust. Placing the drink beside you with a nervous titter. "Figured I brought you here. You seemed kinda tense." Your words flow flawlessly, eye flickering between Sans and the night sky.
A soft snort escapes him. "pretty steller of you to think about me like that."
"Anything for Cosmic Sans."
"astro-nomystery pun there, kid."
"Thanks, I planet."
The two of you erupt in laughter, overlapping each other in the dead of night. As the static stteles the two of you point your direction to the skyline. The distant trees hustle in the wind, as the grass beneath the two licks at their shoes. It's quiet again, but a comfortable atmosphere to linger in.
"Back home, the night sky would be littered with stars like these. Even if they're constantly in motion, they're still there." You mummer. "Sometimes I forget we're on a rock floating in the endless space. Kinda scary when you let that sink in. The vast size of the universe."
You weren't the one to get metaphorical, but the tone in your voice said otherwise. It could have been the mental switch in your mind, flicking upwards the moment the sun dipped into the horizon. A sense of indistinguishable sensations pumping through your SOUL like the steady beat of a drum as you reminisce on the past you left behind.
"i guess," Sans replied, leaning into the bench. "but the view is out of this world when you stop and take the sights." Your lips tugged to the side as he snuck in that last-minute pun. "if you take the time to connect the dots, you'll see the bigger picture under the cluster. pretty neat, huh?"
Sans saw you take out a small notebook and pencil, catching his interest. The moonlight along with the dim streetlamps was enough light as you flipped to a blank page. Tapping the book with the end of your pencil in thought your eyebrows knitted themselves together. He initially leaned his head to peer by your side.
"draw me something." His low voice rumbled in the air.
"Like what?" You replied.
"anything."
You raised a brow, tapping your chin with the pencil. He wondered, what your fingertips would craft from his simple request. He found it oddly amusing, watching you plan out every finite detail before your pencil touched the white void of possibilities. Sometimes your eyes would flicker from the sky back to the page, and sometimes occasionally to him. Yet every time his pinpricks met your calculating look, you quickly averted them.
"Tell me more about stars, then." He snorted, mindlessly going along with it. He thought it was some unspoken tax that you were drawing something for him for free, but the genuine interest in his knowledge eased into a mellow flow of words.
Sans went on about some of the constellations and zodiacs in the sky. His monotone voice spiked whenever his passions went into overdrive, the colour on his face returning. And though you remained quiet, jotting away in that sketchbook, he could see you holding onto every word he spoke. Occasionally nodding your head in understanding or lifting your head to meet his gaze to smile in agreement. Sometimes you twill the pencil in your hand, trying to identify the dots in the sky as Sans spoke.
Whenever your head turned to the cosmos, that expression you had on your face never changed. Desperately darting your pupils from one-star cluster to another. But you exclaimed in defeat, puzzled by the hues of the galaxy. The plastered grin on his skull stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone. Growing longer every time he distracted you with his teasing skeletal grin.
You'd exclaim with countless, "Wait! Wait! I can find it! Just give me a second!" But come back with nought.
"here, I'll point out a personal favourite of mine." He grinned, leaning close to your shoulder. You leisurely dropped the pencil on the spine of the book, your hands covering the work in progress. Although the proximity was there he felt your upper body lean down to his height. Just a hair away from cheek-to-cheek contact, it must have been his imagination to feel his SOUL suddenly beat faster. The air around him suddenly smelt faintly of a fruity strawberry fragrance, mixed in with the ashes of a cigarette.
He blinked to regain his composure, raising his index finger to the sky for you to follow. There just on the horizon, were four bright stars alighted in a cross. "that's the crux, also known as the southern cross or the anchor. in ancient times, people used the crux to help navigate when travelling since it points to the south, hence the name. " He saw a twinkle in your eye, your lips forming into a beam as you finally pinpointed a constellation of the night. He can't help but feel proud of your little achievement, his chest swelling with a warm sensation as he continued.
"normally you can't see it in the northern hemisphere since it barely rises over the horizon but it's still there. when you find it you can also locate alpha centauri another star system which is closest to our own."
"Wow." You exclaimed in awe, causing his SOUL to vibrate.
"yeah, so whenever you get lost, just try and remember the crux." You giggled at his comment, looking back at him with a smile. He had a chance to pull away, yet he remained by your side. His arms were by his sides, as his phalanges tapped the bottom of the bench. You could have pulled back too, yet you just stared into his sockets. Searching for something past his exterior.
"enjoying the view?"
!!
"don't worry, i was too."
You instantly pulled back, apologising profusely. If it wasn't for the dark, the glow would be emmit on your cheeks. You ducked your nose back into the safety of the pages, fiddling with the rough edges of each stroke.
"Could you see stars from the Underground?"
He shook his head. "we only had gemstones that hung from the ceiling but we'd wish on them like real stars. the downside was whatever you said up there would echo over each other, they never reached up here." He heard a sharp flick of lead swipe against the page.
"they were pretty, but nothing could ever compare to the real thing." He drew out a long sigh, his hands reaching into the safety of his hoodie pockets. Sans thought back to that memory. Where he would bring out his telescope to see the sights of the gemstones while the blue echo flowers whispered among themselves. All the hopes and dreams are channelled into one area, lost in the sea of infinite possibilities, and endless wishing.
Your fingers drummed against the hard surface. "It's funny." Your response made him raise a brow bone. "We also wish on stars, hoping that they'll travel somewhere far and maybe it'll be answered."
Sans never missed the way your monotone facade would crack in social settings. When you pressed the strands beneath your fingertips. Or the way you'd lick your lips before you talk, carefully choosing the words to speak in your low raspy voice. Just the little things he quicked up from you painted a picture with a thousand words.
Sans blinked his sockets in disbelief, causing a soft snort at his reaction. You scratched your forearm, averting your eyes to the side. "Here on this very spot, I also made a wish. I wished for change. Come to think of it, sounds pretty stupid to say out loud since I wasn't specific. Let alone if I wanted to change my environment."
"you know it won't come true if you say it out loud."
"Maybe. Or maybe it already did." Your lips were pressed firmly together in a thin line. "Or maybe it did but I haven't realised it. I get so lost in my head that it was taken away from me before I knew it. Everything merging together or splitting within an instant, the good and bad." You pressed your fist to your cheek.
He could be overshooting his thoughts, but something resonated with him when you said that. He had his wishes granted by making it to the Surface. Living a new reality, probably a few lifetimes ago and a few more again. Yet there was that inevitable upcoming of RESETs. From a push of a button, he and everyone else would go back to square one. even if was highly unlikely now, it's never impossible for something like that to happen.
"then what would you do?"
You beamed at him laughing like it was the easiest question in the universe. That didn't help how his skull itched, narrowing its sockets as you took the grape soda from your side to chug away. Even if the sugar drink didn't orientate the best reaction from you, you still smiled at him.
"then I'll look up at the sky and find the crux." You exhaled in satisfaction, eyeing your artwork.
The word crux rolled off your tongue perfectly. Eyeing him at the last word. In a world where he's bound to the rules, at the mercy of an omnipotent universe beyond his understanding. Yet the words rang like a promise, a promise to find your way back from the everchanging world. Back to the corner store, back to your friends.
The average Joe working at a corner store. Same this, normal that. It was normal to have suspicions, or perhaps it was normalised for him to be suspicious of humans. yet behind your words, you still clung to that hope he's rejected. Even when the cycle of the corner store life gets repetitive, that glimmer that shined within you was just waiting to latch onto something.
Or someone.
You gestured him to view it, holding it up with your free hand. Victory painted your expression, proud of your work. Sans took in the piece, adjusting his pinpricks in the dark.
"it's me."
Sans the skeleton, drawn in different angles and perspectives. Some of them were amateur doodles which he found amusing. The more he absorbed the artwork the more hypnotizing it was. The one in the middle sketch captured his attention the most. The lines from your pencil were rough, but each mark from your magic was intentional. This drawing of himself was living in a black-and-white world, yet the colour and hues filled in the blank. His darkened sockets. His hoodie. Even that smiley trash bag of a grin. Every detail down to the bone.
"you didn't have to, kid."
"But I did!" You object. "I need to get out of my comfort zone more. And also get back into drawing, I forgot how much fun it was."
He thanked you for the art, although he was reluctant to rip a page from your dedicated work. Something made from a skeleton-like home to be translated into something like that. It's best to keep it close to you at all times. As cryptic as it sounded, you simply nodded. Shoving your sketchbook in the safety of your bag, the quietness returns.
The same hustling trees in the wind, the occasional singing of the birds.
The two of you are quiet, in your stargazing session.
"you know kid, you remind me of a certain star." Sans nonchalantly spoke. You hummed in confusion, crooking your head slightly to the side.
"Which one?"
"the moon."
You deadpan at his response. "The moon isn't a star, Sans."
"aren't i the astronomy guy? what i say goes." Even with his jokes, he still felt true to his words. "but you are the moon."
"How so?" A spike of interest laxed your tone. He took a deep breath, his attention now on the rising moon that conveniently poked out of the clouds. The silver lighting illuminated the shadows of the park, making the crystal clear to the naked eye.
"well even if it's just a rock in the sky it's the first thing you see, right?" You nod as he continues. "you stand out with your own glow, just like a star. grabbing and pulling whatever you draw in, kinda like the tides. It's slow but admirable in its own way."
"The moon, huh?" You whispered. He reiterated himself, as the light in your eyes dulled for a brief moment. For a second, you looked like you were withholding something from him. Your lips occasionally quivering before licking them to speak.
"The moon doesn't shine, it merely reflects the glow of the sun." Your lips tilted downwards. "Does that make you the sun?"
Sans could feel his cheekbones burn slightly. The intense look you gave him wasn't helping either, drinking up his speech. But that's how well he could put his thoughts into words, as corny as it sounds. Were you the fool for spilling your heart to him earlier? Or was he the fool for doing the same?
A sudden tightness coxed around his throat as your silence was unnerving. Flawlessly evading the question with what he knew best.
"I'm a skeleton, kid."
He should have expected that displeased groan. You called out his name, to which you received the class Sans shrug. Winking his sockets while you rolled yours, but ever so slightly he knew that you enjoyed his company. As he did as well, he did appreciate you bringing him out here. Even with all the awkwardness mixed in with some thought-provoking topics and model chatting. He might be willing to invite you next time with his telescope.
Without wasting any more time, you sat up from the bench. Stretching your joints with a satisfying pop. He still has to get used to that, cringing at the distasteful sounds. You spun on your heels, clutching your bag closer to your shoulder.
You tried to surpass the yawn, your eyes slightly watering. "I didn't plan for the detour to last this long." It must have been a few more hours before the sunrise and already he could feel himself melt further and further into the bench.
"eh, s'fine." You're doing that again with your hair. If Sans could he would press his nonexistent lips into a straight line at your words. He groggily stood up, dragging his pink slips across the floor.
"let's go?"
You nodded, walking beside Sans back home. The moon shined ever so brightly on the Earth's surface, casting a light brighter than any star in the sky. The cross hovering over the horizon guided them back to their sanctuary. Once you said your goodbyes, you left Sans staring at your figure. Retreating into the building of your apartment, back turned to him.
His hand clutched his white tee shirt at the heavyweight between his ribcage. He trudged to his room, instantly knocked out the moment his skull kissed the pillows. His sockets finally shut as his consciousness granted him pure deep slumber.
It must have been his imagination back then, but he swore He felt his SOUL looking at you.
As yours turned back to look at his.
✧༺♥༻∞
ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ...
> ᴛʀᴀɪᴛ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ <
> ᴄ.ʜ.ᴀ.ɴ.ɢ.ᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ <
> ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅ ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛs ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀᴅᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ sʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʀᴛ!
(Unedited)