After another horrible vision, Circe once again finds herself at the top of the astronomy tower smoking through another packet of cigarettes. Her eyes stare off blankly into the distance, her head is so all over the place she almost misses the almost full moon hung in the sky. The thought of Remus going through that sort of agony every month breaks her heart, he is such a kind and gentle soul who deserves the world. Instead he had been cursed to live a life being shunned from it. Circe, as a seer, knows what it's like to have life altering secrets, despite the two having severely different consequences if they were to get out. She knows how isolating it can be to hide a large part of who you are away from everyone, never knowing who you can trust, always being afraid of someone discovering your secret.
Through her visions, she's aware of how much Remus' curse is going to affect the rest of his life. Always struggling to find a job, the moon's effects on him only getting worse with age, how no matter how much he grows to accept himself- very few others will. Circe frowns, realising her secret doesn't make it any easier on him. Eventually, the knowledge of her being a seer will get out, which will force them into hiding at least until the end of the war. The two of them will be rendered jobless and will end up relying on her father's money. He's a rather well off man- he had to be with his wife and daughter's sending habits- so the money wouldn't make much of dent in his bank account, but she could sense the pain Remus felt for not being able to provide a better life for her.
As the sun begins to rise, Circe's resolve hardens. She isn't going to let that happen, why have knowledge of the future if she isn't going to change it for the better. The brunette stands up from the spot she had been sat in for the last few hours and marches back inside, a sudden determination over taking her.
When she enters the great hall, she's surprised to see that the marauders are already sat down at the Gryffindor table. James, Sirius and Peter are all happily chomping away at the large plates of food in front of them whilst Remus is picking away at a piece of toast. The boy's face is a sickly shade of green and his hands are shaking slightly, looking an awful lot like Circe does after a particularly bad vision. "Hey pretty boy." She greets him, her voice softer than she had ever heard it be before. "Trolls." She says to the other three sternly.
"Excuuuuse me?" James gasps, his fingers running through his hair as he gives her an offended glare.
Circe slides onto the bench sitting next to Remus, the warmth that he usually exudes had increased tenfold. "You heard me."
Sirius holds his hand over his heart, almost like it had pained him to hear. "I'll have you know it takes a lot of time to make myself look this good." He runs a slender hand over his hair, giving her a wink.
Peter doesn't say anything in response to her light hearted insult, he only continued to glare daggers at her like he usually does. Circe, of course, notices how unhappy he always seems to be with her presence but she opts not to say anything. She just supposes he's jealous with the attention she gets from his friends, the attention she guesses he usually receives. He isn't particularly good looking or intelligent or charming in anyway whilst his friends are, nor does he talk to anyone outside of their little group. It hadn't gone unnoticed by the brunette how much the boy admires James, Sirius and Remus, often resorting to follow them around like a lost puppy. He just seems to be rather territorial around them and Circe is invading his space.
"And yet, you still look like a troll." Circe tells him before turning to face Remus. The boy is faced away from her in attempt to hide his sickly demeanour from her piercing gaze. Her hand rubs his arm gently. "I told you, you should have gotten some rest today."
"I'm fine." He says in a weak voice, which wouldn't be able to fool anyone with half a brain.
Circe tuts, obviously not believing that for a second. Even if she didn't know about him being a werewolf she wouldn't, the boy looks like he is on death's door. She begins to pile some bacon on his plate, the pinkest looking ones she can find. The girl prefers her bacon practically burnt to a crisp but she knows that werewolves like their meat a little on the rarer side- especially on the day of a full moon. She also knows that transforming on an empty stomach will only make matters worse for him. "Eat it." She orders him, pointing at the small mountain of bacon on his plate.
"What?" He asks in surprise, slightly startled by her stern voice. His eyes widen slightly at her face, which mirrors the tone of her voice. "Circe, I'm not-"
"I said eat it." She tells him, her words coming out a little louder this time. The boy, lacking the energy to battle her over this, tucks into the food she had put on his plate. His pale demeanour lessens as he eats his way through the bacon and the lack of appetite he had been experiencing began to fade away, the trembling of his hands also disappears. Remus' eyes widen at the relief of a lot of his usual symptoms, whilst they are still there they don't feel half as bad. She leans in closer, her mouth only just stopping short of his ear. "Good boy." Her voice is still a little husky from the cigarettes she had been smoking a while ago, so the sound vibrates through his ear.
All of the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and the animal inside of him begins to try and claw its way out of him. Her praise had stirred something deep within him and he's unsure whether he likes the wildness she seems to waking up inside him. Remus chokes on the food he is currently chewing at her words, he reaches for the glass of water sat by his plate and downs it. "What did you just say?"
"Hmm?" She smiles at him innocently, as if she hadn't just muttered those words into his ear only moments ago. "Are you feeling better?"
He nods shyly, honestly grateful for her help, but he can't figure out how she knew it would help. "How did you know that would help?"
Circe shrugs, acting like it was no big deal. "My godmother has been a werewolf for nearly twenty years now, so she knows all of the tricks to relieve a lot of the symptoms she gets on the day of the full moon." She says quietly so that no one around them could hear her words. James spits the pumpkin juice out of his mouth, causing it to soak the food on his plate. Sirius begins coughing, hitting his fist on his chest to trying swallow the food trapped in his throat. Peter squeaks as he buries his face into his hands, too afraid to deal with the situation. Remus freezes in his seat, paralysed with the new knowledge that Circe knows what he is. She knows. The brunette looks down at her wrist and frowns at the time her watch is displaying. "Merlin, I better be off, I'm going to be late to my first lesson. I'll see you all later, yeah?"
The girl doesn't wait for a response as she leaps up from her seat and dashes out of the hall. Her heart is pounding in her chest, she honestly hadn't intended to tell him that she knows yet. She doesn't even know why she had said that but is relieved that she had done it.
"Did she just-" James splutters as they watch her figure run out of the hall. "I-I mean how does she-"
Sirius laughs loudly at the scene that had just unfolded in front of them. He clutches his stomach as his manic laughter escapes his throat. The other three just stare at him in horror, not finding the situation to be amusing in the slightest. "She knows. Of course she does." He manages to say when he settles down, noticing the looks of horror on his friends' faces.
"Padfoot, it isn't funny." Peter tells him quietly. "If she tells anyone-"
The pureblood shakes his head, not believing that Circe would do anything of the sort. "She won't. Her godmother is a werewolf, for Merlin's sake. She probably knew Moony is one since the moment she saw him. Besides, you saw the fuss she kicked up in defence against the dark arts."
Remus heart sinks slightly at his friend's words. The boy knows Sirius is right, Circe wouldn't do anything that could harm him, she had been incredibly defensive over werewolves in their class yesterday and he could see how her eyes lit up when talking about her godmother.
But is that the only reason she has been flirting with him?
Does she feel sorry for him?
Circe obviously knows how werewolves are treated within the wizarding world, so is she just being nice to him to show him that not everybody thinks that way?
His head spins as he tries to make sense of the brunette's actions towards him. How could he have been so delusional to start believing that she actually likes him? He's unlovable. His looks are nothing compared James and Sirius', he's actually rather plain in comparison, the only noticeable thing on his face at the jagged scars that run across them. His limbs are lanky and his body is thin, lacking any form of muscle. The only thing that people seem to find attractive is his height but due to him wanting to hide away from everyone's peering eyes he tends to hunch himself over. His clothes are shabby, making it obvious that his family isn't very wealthy. He doesn't even have a particularly outstanding personality, he's a total bookworm and he's far to nice for his own good, causing people to walk over him like a doormat.
How could he have been so stupid?
How could someone like Circe ever have feelings for him?
She is everything he isn't.
She is outgoing and confident. She's adventurous and never afraid to shy away from what she is feeling. Her looks surpass any other girl he has ever seen, making her more on James and Sirius' level, certainly not his. She's clever but not too interested in her studies like he is. Everything about her body is perfect, from her petite frame, to her thick thighs, large chest, toned stomach and well manicured hands.
He eyes look down at his own hands. They are rough and coarse, not to mention full of scars, the complete opposite of her soft ones. He curls his fingers in towards his palms, clenching them tightly.
The boy looks up towards the ceiling, a sad laughter escaping his throat. "Padfoot's right. She won't tell anyone." He finally says after a few moments of deliberation.
No matter how certain he is of this, it didn't prevent the wave of sadness from washing over him. Nor did it stop the thoughts of self loathing from swirling through his head, cursing him for being foolish enough to believe that maybe someone liked him.