♥
The last two days have been a whirlwind. I haven't heard a single thing from Milo. I've barely been functioning. Now I feel like I'm an empty soul with no purpose but I have an entire pack due to rely on me, with Leon standing down in the next week.
I don't have time to be moping around.
People are waiting for me to step up even though I've never felt so heartbroken.
Everyone keeps asking me how I am but I've not improved over the last forty eight hours.
The only benefit is that I've been stupidly busy. Although Milo has been on my mind most of the time and I've been finding it hard to concentrate.
I hope Reign is taking care of him. She loves him with all her heart, that's obvious. But I can't help but feel concerned for his well being after his confessions about his mental state. I wanted to stay more than anything but the thought of pushing him away further cut me so deep that I didn't know what to do.
Reign said she'd let me know if anything happened and I haven't heard anything since, so I'm keeping hopeful about the situation.
"Nate?" My father's voice booms from my new soon to be office. "Are you listening?"
My eyes blink rapidly and I snap myself out of my train of thought. I push my back into the chair, clearing my throat. "Yep, yeah. I am."
After our conversation the other night, he's been patient. A side of him I barely remembered existed. I can't believe I opened up to him, I can't believe he opened up to me. "Nate," he leans closer. "If you're not feeling up to this, we can postpone it. I know you're not in the best frame of mind right now."
I shake my head. "I'm fine," I say even though my eyes are burning. "Sorry, continue."
Leon rests his arms on his desk and glances at me. "These meetings with the district are important, Nate," he says as he holds eye-contact. "You need to pay attention."
"I am," I nod.
Imogen's eyes burn into the side of my head and I refuse to look at her. "We can go over it together," she says. "After today, we can double check that we both understand. Right, Nate?"
I lick my lip and nod. "Sure." That would help a bunch considering I don't know a single thing that has been said this entire time.
"And with the training schedule," Leon continues. "I know you guys will want to change some bits and pieces there but it'll probably be good to keep the timetable."
"We've got some ideas," Imogen continues. "Don't we?"
"Yeah," I rasp. "We want to change things up, incorporate new skills and challenge the pack more than ever."
Leon hums. "Alright, well let's tal–"
"Dad," Imogen interrupts him. "We've been talking straight for the last hour. Shall we come back to this tomorrow?"
Please. I beg in my mind.
"Very well," he sighs, his eyes glancing over at me before he starts coughing. "Tomorrow at ten o'clock"
I look over at Imogen and give her a grateful smile, her eyes gleam back at me. We exit Leon's office and I approach the kitchen, needing some food for the first time today. I couldn't stomach any breakfast but I could pick at something at least.
As I reach for an apple Imogen stops beside me. "Want to go for a walk?" She asks.
"No thanks," I admit.
Her lips swish to one side. "You sure? I know some fresh air might do you some good."
"I'm alright," I say as I bite into the apple and the flavour bursts across my tongue. "Thank you though."
Imogen nods and walks out of the kitchen. I open the back door and perch on the last step of the decking, glancing out across the tall trees and the clearing. I'm not sure my body could hack a walk right now, especially knowing we have training later. That's going to take up all of my energy and I'm going to need it.
I feel a presence behind me, I already know it's Viola without needing to look. She takes a seat beside me as I munch on my green apple. Neither of us say anything for a while, I know she's trying to keep me company without bombarding me with affection.
It might be because we're twins and we feel the same things. I once believed when she was sad, I felt sad too. But then I realised knowing that she's sad would automatically make me sad, because I care about her.
Right now it's obvious the aura between us is low–and not just because of Milo.
"So Haze hasn't come back for a while." She states.
My brows crease as I swallow the apple. "Who?"
A sigh leaves her mouth. "My mate."
"Oh," I look down at our feet, I didn't even know his name. "I'm sorry."
"I was expecting it," she huffs. "I'm confused. It seemed like he really wanted to make a change but when I mentioned bringing him in to see his true intentions, he never came back."
I twist my head and look at my sister, her eyes are focused on the trees and it's obvious how devastated she is about it. "Then he doesn't deserve you," I tell her truthfully.
Viola turns to face me and offers me a small smile. "I'm sorry for bringing it up when I know you have other shit going on."
"You don't need to apologise," I say. "You can tell me anything, no matter what I'm going through. We're family, it always matters."
She nods once. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm not," I rasp and throw the core of the apple as far as I can. "I'm putting on a brave face for everyone because if I don't, I'll be a mess and I've got shit to do with my new Alpha title."
"I'm proud of you," she places a hand on my shoulder. "I know this is hard for you and I wish you didn't have to hide how you feel."
I suck in such a big breath that my lungs almost explode. "It's doing me a favour, at least I'm keeping busy."
Viola draws me into a hug and I allow her. "He'll come back, Nate. They always do."
"Says who?"
"All the romance movies I watch."
Her optimism makes me smile. "That's the difference, my life isn't a movie."
"No..." she trails off. "But you're made for each other which means you'll always find your way back to one another."
"Even in ten years?"
The thought makes my heart falter. Viola squeezes my arm. "Even if it's in ten years," she clarifies. "Better than never, right?"
"Not sure I can last that long," I release a morbid sigh.
"It won't be that long. I know how Milo feels about you, he just needs to come to his senses. He won't be able to stay away from you for too long, it's obvious how much he loves you."
I scoff quietly, the word bruising my heart. "If he loved me, he wouldn't have let me go. He's having doubts about me, about us, about everything."
"He asked for space to think about things, he didn't shut you down completely."
"He was trying to lessen the blow."
"Keep holding on, Nate," she whispers.
My head rests against hers and I close my eyes, enjoying the closeness. "I want you to be happy. I want everyone in my life to be happy."
"You contribute to a lot of my happiness," she says softly. "To dad, to Leon, to Imogen, to Elin, to Zade, to Milo. All of us."
I let her words sit on my chest for a while. My throat struggles to swallow.
"But most of all, we all want you to be happy too."
"I appreciate you, Vi."
"Likewise, brother."
♥
I take myself up to bed after training is complete and we have dinner together. I have zero reason to socialise and pretend to laugh at shitty jokes when I'm dying inside. Being alone seems better.
My back rests against my bed and I stare up at the ceiling.
Milo's face flashes in my mind. That beautiful, angelic face.
I almost whimper at the sight of it–even if it isn't real.
I've been craving touching him, holding him, caressing his soft skin and drawing him close to my chest just to hear our heart beats in unison. It's all I want.
He's all I want. He's all I'll ever want.
After my conversation with Viola, all I can think about is Milo's happiness.
I'd give him all my happiness if that meant he'd stop those crazy thoughts he was having. I'd give him anything to make him feel better about himself. I'd do absolutely anything to see him smile again.
My body rolls over on the bed and I clutch the pillow close to my chest and bury my face in it.
Come home to me. I call out in my mind but I don't send it to him. I'm giving him the space he wants. I wish I did send it. I wish he was with me right now because I can barely think about another night without him.
Minutes pass and I don't move but my fingertips begin to tingle. A familiar sensation washes over my body and my eyes widen. I feel my eyes dart around the room as the feeling becomes more prominent.
My heart races and the hairs on my arms begin to stand.
I push myself up from the bed and glance at the door. My eyes narrow slightly, my throat tightening as I feel a thousand different emotions at once.
That's when my brows pinch together and I can't take my eyes off the door.
I stand on shaky legs, confusion washes over me. I start walking towards the sensation that is drawing me in and my hand lingers over the handle for a moment. I can't hear anything and for a moment Milo's scent floats through to my body. Electrifying every inch of me.
I've dreamt of his scent for the past two days. I have no idea if my body is fucking with me. If I'm producing pretend scents because I miss him and my wolf misses him and we're trying to feel closer to him before we lose our fucking minds.
But curiosity gets the better of me and I open my bedroom door only for all the air in my lungs to evaporate when I see my mate staring right back at me. I blink once and then twice, making sure that this isn't a dream or a hallucination.
My eyes roam over his face and I crumble at the sight of him.
I am trembling. He's here. He's really here. My fingers itch to reach out and touch him but I have no idea what called on this surprise visit. I have no idea what he's about to say and that makes my stomach roll with sudden nausea.
My gaze flicks over his face once more and I take in every little detail.
Those eyes. Those perfect blue eyes that hold so much emotion, I can't look away. There are bags under them, red and deep. He looks as bad as I do. These days apart have done nothing but destroy us both and I can't take another second.
"Hi." My voice cracks because I have no idea what else to say.
His shoulder shudder and I'm glad to know that the feeling is mutual. "Hi."
"Y-you're here."
Milo takes one step closer to me, I don't back away. My entire body goes up in flames.
"I'm sorry," he pants, eyes pleading for me to understand. "I love you."
Then his lips are on mine in the most frantic and passionate kiss I've ever felt in my entire life.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Author's Note
SCREAMING. CRYING. THROWING UP.
My babies are back together and I love them so much😭🫶❤️🔥
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