Trepidation trickled down your spine as you advanced closer to your bedroom. You thought you'd be inflamed with rage as Stu had no right showing up here after everything he's done. Yet, as you reached your door, that rage simmered into a mild irritation, replaced with apprehension. You couldn't seem to bring yourself to go inside.
What reason did you have to be so nervous? It was just Stu. He was far less intimidating than Billy but here you were, afraid to enter your own bedroom.
Flashes of your last few moments together came crashing back like a rampant storm. Your stomach twisted as you recalled the way his lips felt on yours, his hands touching you in ways no one else has. But then, all you could think was how he held you back, forcing you to witness Sidney's murder. The mere thought of seeing him again made you ill but something in you always knew he'd come back.
Frustrated with your own stalling, you disregarded the surge of anxiety that congested your body as you pushed the door handle down. You didn't even realize how long you'd been holding your breath as you headed inside, only to be welcomed by an empty room.
Your brows furrowed as you glanced around to find that the balcony's sliding door had been left open.
The nerves you'd endured only seemed to multiply as you slowly approached the glass door. Your palpitating heart hammered loudly in your ears as you spotted Stu leaning against the railing with his back facing you.
You pursed your lips, knuckles flexing as the anger you subdued came crawling back at the sight of him. In an instant, you charged over and shoved his shoulder. "Hey!" You shouted.
Stu whirled around at the sudden impact, surprised by your unpleasant greeting.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" You spat, crossing your arms as the cool winter air instantly chilled your body.
"Ow!" Stu held onto his shoulder, wobbling a bit. "That's no way to welcome a guest."
You bit your tongue to stop yourself from spewing petty insults at him, not wanting to drag this out longer than necessary. You just wanted him to leave.
"Stu, I am not in the mood for your bullshit, okay? What do you want from me?" You questioned, calmer.
"What? Billy can see you but I can't?" Stu pouted before giggling like a child, and you frowned at his odd behavior.
Stepping closer, you squinted your eyes to analyze him for a moment as he did not seem sober.
"Are you high?" You asked after noticing his red eyes, and he giggled even more at your assumption. "You fucking are! Jesus, Stu. How can you show up here high?"
The black flannel he wore was falling off his shoulder, revealing the white tank top underneath. Your stern resolve almost faltered as he moved closer with a cheeky little grin on his face.
"I couldn't see you sober..." He said, shrugging his flannel back on as a sharp gust of wind blew by. Goosebumps erupted across your arms as you shivered.
"You're crazy," You huffed, turning away from him to walk back inside your room where it was warmer.
You chewed on your inner cheek as you couldn't seem to stay angry with him, at least not in this state. However, your body jolted when the sliding door slammed shut after Stu followed you inside.
"That's the fucking thing, Orth!" Stu shouted as he grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look at him. "Being with you was the only time I ever felt sane. I felt like I was loosin' my mind when you took off!"
Your gaze slowly panned down to his hand as you tried yanking your arm away yet he wouldn't let go.
"I know I fucked up back then by lettin' Billy manipulate me," he continued desperately. "But I didn't think you'd just disappear the way you did."
"What do you want me to say to that, Stu?" You questioned, throat constricting woefully. "I mean, why would you even listen to Billy in the first place if you really didn't want to?"
"Peer pressure?" Stu joked, though, he sighed when you remained expressionless. "I don't know, okay? He just— Look, I shouldn't have listened to him. I regret it, alright? I'm sorry."
Your jaw ticked with agitation. You were perfectly fine repressing all those horrible memories you wished to forget. But with Stu and Billy showing up on the same day, you couldn't control all the negative and positive emotions that came rushing back at once. It was infuriating, how weak-minded you felt in their presence.
"Well, sorry isn't enough," You finally met Stu's gaze. It saddened you to see the pain in those piercing blue eyes, yet it hurt even more when you thought about how he was the reason your life was so fucked.
Pulling yourself from his grasp, you walked over to your bedside table and opened the top drawer. Inside lay the very blade he used to kill your brother. You still kept it after he'd given it to you the night you found out about Mickey and Hallie.
Grabbing the knife, you slammed the drawer shut and walked back over to Stu.
"Here," You took his hand, placing the weapon in his palm. "Take this, and go."
Stu stared down at the knife, clutching his fingers around the handle until his knuckles turned white.
"No," He shook his head, looking back up at you. "You kissed me."
"What?" You furrowed your brows, confused.
"That night, you're the one who initiated it." He rephrased. "You talk all this crap about the shit I've done, yet you still kissed me. That fucking means something, Orth."
Your blood ran cold at the reminder. You hadn't expected him to counteract your words with such a reasonable response. It felt strange coming from Stu.
"I–" You paused, unable to rebuff. "No, no, no, no! You can't turn this around on me! You're the one that killed people, people I cared about."
"Yeah, yeah, ya said that already," Stu muttered while shoving the knife into his back pocket. "That doesn't change the fact that you feel somethin' for me."
You swallowed, taking two steps back as he moved closer. "You're wrong." You denied.
"It doesn't matter if I'm wrong, 'cause I fucking love you and I'm not gonna let you leave again."
You froze at the abrupt confession. All the oxygen had been suctioned from your lungs as it felt like the world came crashing down around you. Stu loved you?
How? When? Why?
"You– you love me?" You went unblinking as you tried to grasp an understanding. Why did it feel as if your heart was about to beat out of your chest?
"I think I always have," Stu mumbled, scoffing out a laugh.
"Then why didn't you say anything? Ever?"
"You were so obsessed with Billy that it wouldn't have mattered!" He argued.
"That is so far from the truth." You refuted stubbornly.
"And you're clearly in denial." Stu walked around you, plopping down on the edge of your bed. "Geez, you really know how to ruin someone's high."
Your eyes slightly widened as he casually pulled out another joint from the front pocket of his flannel. He held it between his lips without a care in the world while digging in his pocket for a lighter.
"I feel like I'm in a fever dream right now." You muttered to yourself, staring in disbelief as Stu began to spark up.
Marching over to him, you snatched the joint from his lips before he could get a good hit in. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Yo! You're stressin' me out." He blew out the excess smoke from his mouth as he leaned back on his elbows.
"I'm stressing you out?!" You scoffed, frustrated by his unbothered state of mind.
"Yeah, you're right. You needa calm down." He said, motioning his head as if he were offering a hit. You stared at it for a moment, actually considering it until you remembered your current predicament.
You couldn't get high while there was a killer on the loose.
At this point, you couldn't care less about the state of your furniture as you put the joint out on your nightstand. You held it between your fingers, waving it in front of Stu's face as you leaned down close.
"Do you know anything about Cotton Weary's death? Be honest with me, and you can have this back." You coaxed.
"Nah, I've been outta the loop, even with Billy. He does shit on his own now." Stu assured. "I don't know anything, I swear."
As you were determining whether he was being truthful or not, Stu snatched your wrist, making you lose your balance. You let out a small squeal as you fell against him, though luckily, he used his free hand to catch your waist while using the other to take his joint back.
"You gotta stop falling for me like this, Orth." Stu grinned.
"Shut up, you psychopath." You shoved his chest, and he laughed. The stupidity of the situation was somehow amusing, causing your anger to dissipate as you began laughing along with him.
Though, you were ripped from the moment as your door was abruptly opened by Alice and Randy.
"See! I told you they were getting their freak on." Alice stated assertively as if they had wagered a bet.
"Damn it, Y/n!" Randy exclaimed. "We leave you two alone for five minutes and this is what you do?"
You immediately pushed off of Stu's lap, taken by surprise.
"Get out you goddamn perverts!" You demanded as you stormed over to them. You shoved them both out the door before shutting it in their faces.
You couldn't help but cringe from the embarrassment as you turned to face Stu again.
This was not how you were expecting your day to go.