"Come on, Theda. Grab your bag and get in the car."
"Is Daddy coming too?"
"No. We're not going to live with Daddy anymore."
"Why?"
"Daddy... doesn't want to be a daddy anymore. Now come on, let's go to Grandma's house."
Severus watched as Theda's mother secured her into her car seat before beginning the long drive. When they arrived at Sylvia's house, Theda's mother told her to go play upstairs. Theda did as she was told, but after a few minutes, she started shivering violently. She began descending the stairs, planning to ask her mother if she could get her sweater out of the bag her mom had packed.
"I can't do this anymore. I need you to look after her for the time being." Her mother said.
Neither she nor Sylvia noticed Theda listening in from the top of the stairs.
"Well of course I don't mind taking care of my granddaughter, but how long are we talking?"
"I don't know, Mom."
"You can't give me an estimate?"
"Right now I think its better for both of us that I have some time to focus on myself. I can't predict how long it will take for me to be ready to try again. All I know is that you can take better care of her than I can."
Without so much as a goodbye, Theda's mother drove off, forgetting to bring Theda's bag in before she left. Theda watched from upstairs with her face pressed against the window as her hair turned from her natural brown to a dark shade of blue.
The scene changed. Theda looked to be about 2 or 3 years older now. She and her grandmother were in a small hospital filled with about 20 child-sized beds, some of which were full.
"How are we feeling today, Miss O'Hara?" Sylvia asked one of the bedridden children.
"A little better."
"That's wonderful! The potion is working, then. Two more days and you should be good as new. How's that balm of cicana coming along, Theda?"
"Almost done!" She replied from a table she was working at in the corner of the room.
"Excellent!" She said, turning her attention back to the girl in the bed. "I have to have a word with Madame Ingraham downstairs. My lovely assistant will administer your potion once it's ready."
A few minutes later, Theda was removing bandages from the girl's arms and applying the potion to her wounds.
"Are your parents dead too?" The girl asked.
"No."
"Then why are you here?"
"Grandma lets me come to work with her so I can learn."
"Oh. Where are your parents?"
"Mommy's on vacation."
"What about your father?"
"I— I don't know where he is." She admitted. "I'm staying with Grandma until Mommy comes back."
The scene faded away and they were now back in Sylvia's house. They were sitting at the dinner table eating macaroni and cheese, Theda looking as though something was troubling her.
"Grandma?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Do you know when Mommy is coming back from her vacation?"
Sylvia took a long pause before answering.
"Not yet, dear. I'm sure she won't be gone much longer."
"Grandma... Am I an orphan?"
"Darling, of course not. Your parents are still alive. And they love you very much."
"But I don't ever get to see them." Theda protested. "It's like I don't even have parents."
"I know it's hard to understand now, but it'll all make sense when you're older."
The scene continued to change, over and over.
Theda was writing a letter which she addressed to her father, then tossed into the fireplace, slowly watching it burn.
Then she was wearing a gingham apron and laughing as she and Sylvia made a cherry pie together.
Next, she was staring out the upstairs window until the sun went down.
She was looking through Sylvia's picture books at photos of her mother as a child.
Reading To Kill A Mockingbird.
Getting into bed with Sylvia during a bad thunderstorm.
Drawing pictures of herself holding hands with her parents.
None of the scenes Severus witnessed showed any signs of friends or family other than Sylvia.
The scene changed again. Theda was now standing in the center of a circular room surrounded by hundreds of students. Severus quickly realized this must be Ilvermorny. She looked as though she were on the verge of tears, her lip trembling. As she stood there under the eyes of her classmates, a wooden statue of a small goblin-like creature raised its bow and arrow into the air.
"Right, Miss Desmond, you're in Pukwudgie!" Said a teacher as the room began to clap.
As she joined the other students in her house she closed her eyes and put her hands on her ears as the tears finally began to stream from her eyes.
The scene changed again. They were now in the girl's dormitory.
Theda was asleep in bed until she was awoken by a scream from one of her roommates.
"What is it!?" Asked one of the other startled girls.
"Look at her hair! It's gone white!" She said, pointing at Theda.
Theda blushed as her hair slowly changed back to brown.
The girls all screamed this time.
"How did you do that?" One of them asked.
"I don't know. I've always been able to do it. I bet there are others here who can do it too."
"No, there aren't. That's not normal. You're not normal."
They were in class now, the young students running wild while they waited for their teacher.
"Theda, show Steven what you can do with your hair." One of the girls said.
"I don't want to," Theda said, burying her nose in her book and sinking into her seat as though if she sank low enough no one would be able to see her.
"Come on, he doesn't believe you can do it!"
Theda said nothing. Just then another student snuck up beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders before screaming in her ear. Theda was so startled that her hair turned bright red, at which all the students began to laugh.
"She's a freak!" One of them shouted, prompting even more laughter.
The next scene took place back at Sylvia's house, apparently over the summer break.
"I don't want to go back!" Theda cried as she hugged her grandmother tight. "Can't you teach me?"
"I've taught you what I could, my love, but that's no substitute for a formal education. You're not going to be able to find a steady job if you don't finish school, and your magic will never reach its full potential either."
"But I have no friends... Everyone is mean to me. I feel so alone there."
"Maybe this will be the year things finally turn around for you."
"Whenever someone is sad, I can feel it like it's my own sadness." She said. "Or when they're mad, or excited, or nervous... Why does this happen to me, Grandma? Is it magic?"
"No, darling, it's not magic. You're just an empathetic person." Sylvia said reassuringly. "You pay attention to how others are feeling because you of all people know how hard it is to suffer alone. When you sense that someone is unhappy, you know that's someone you can relate to. Letting people know they're not alone is a great way to make friends, you know."
Theda nodded her head, seemingly unsatisfied with Sylvia's answer.
"I wish Mommy would come back." She said as she began to sob in her grandmother's arms. "I wish I could talk to her about everything."
She was back at school. She got up from her table at the feast and began walking back to the dormitories while her classmates all celebrated. She came across a boy who looked absolutely miserable sitting all by himself on a bench near the main hall. She approached him, looking as if she wanted to say something to him, but when his eyes met hers she ran away. Severus saw this boy in several more short memories, all of which involved Theda watching him from a distance. One day she finally approached him as he was sitting alone yet again.
"Umm... P-Patrick?"
"What do you want?" He asked in a hostile manner.
"I, umm... I'm Theda."
"I know who you are."
"Oh, okay, sorry. Well, I thought you seemed kind of lonely all by yourself and I thought maybe... maybe we could be friends."
"I'm not lonely enough to make friends with a freak like you." He said before he got up and walked away, leaving her to cry alone.
"What's Theda crying about now?" One of her fellow Pukwidgies asked a friend who was walking with her.
"Who cares? She's always on about something. That girl is way too sensitive."
"How is she not embarrassed crying out in the open like this? At least have the dignity to cry in a bathroom stall or somewhere else no one can see you."
Theda buried her head in her hands, hiding underneath the hood of her robes.
"Hey. Is everything alright?" A boy asked, tapping her on the shoulder.
She jumped at his touch, then quickly lifted her head, her hood falling back down and revealing her face.
"Oh, it's you."
Theda's expression turned from surprised to shame in a matter of seconds.
"Your name's Theda, right? I'm Douglas."
She stared up at him, clearly shocked that he had bothered to introduce himself.
"You know, my aunt's a metamorphmagus. Kids used to bully her when she was in school too, but everyone in the family is jealous of her now. When you think about it, it's actually a pretty cool ability to have."
"They're jealous?"
"Well yeah, I mean, she can look however she wants without having to really do anything normal people have to do. She doesn't need to go to the salon, or diet, or have procedures done to change her face and body... And she can reverse it all whenever she wants. Think of how much money she's saved over the years!"
Theda gave a small laugh, not because anything he said was particularly funny, but because she couldn't believe someone was actually being kind to her.
"That's not the reason they make fun of you, you know. Well, I mean, maybe it started that way, but... Well, you have to admit, you do act a bit odd. I've seen you with your hands over your ears and your hood over your eyes like you're trying to shut the whole world out. Are you trying to focus hard enough to perform wandless magic? Is that what it is?"
"No... Are there people who can perform wandless magic?"
"Well yeah, loads of people can do it. Though, it's not really taught much in Western schools."
"Western schools? But... This is the East Coast..."
Douglas laughed.
"I meant schools in the Western Hemisphere."
"Oh... Are there wizarding schools in other parts of the world?"
"Of course! Did you think we only exist in the United States?"
"No... I knew we existed in Europe too..."
"Believe it or not, the biggest wizarding school is actually in Africa, and they specialize in teaching wandless magic! But, in my opinion, the coolest school is the one in Japan. There are smaller magical communities all around the world, too, many of which practice their own unique styles of magic."
"How do you know all of this?"
"My dad's an Apparition Examiner. He spends one week at every school each year when the students have finished their training and are ready to apply for their licenses to apparate. He goes to the smaller communities too when their witches and wizards come of age and are ready to take their apparition tests. We traveled quite a lot when I was growing up."
Theda looked amazed as if she had never even considered that there could be so many witches and wizards scattered across the globe, let alone approaches to magic that were unique to each region.
"So if you're not trying to cast spells with your mind, what are you trying to do when you hide your eyes and ears like that?"
"I'm... I'm trying to block out everyone's feelings..."
"What? I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea what you mean by that. You're gonna need to explain it a little better than that. I think you're in my potions class, aren't you? Why don't we walk to class together?" He picked up Theda's books for her in one arm and helped her up with the other. "Hey, there's no need to start crying again!"
Theda smiled bashfully as she tried to cease the stream of grateful tears pouring down her face.
The scene dissolved until it was replaced by a new one. Theda was still crying, though she was older now, apparently 15 or so. They were back at Sylvia's house, and Sylvia was in her bed with Theda at her side.
"Theda. Come closer, dear."
She did so, holding out her hand for her grandmother to take.
"There's something I haven't told you. It's about your father."
"I don't want to know anything about him. He... he threw me away like I was nothing."
"Shhh, dear. Please listen. Now, you know your mother loved you, right? But she was... unwell. I think you know that by now. The night she brought you to me she told me something I've kept from you all these years." She took a deep breath as Theda wiped a tear from her grandmother's cheek. "Your mother, she... she obliviated him. Your father has no memory of you ever existing."
"What?" Theda asked incredulously.
"I'm sorry if I've done wrong by telling you. I know it's painful, but I wanted you to know that your father didn't choose to abandon you."
"Why would she do that? Obliviate him, I mean..."
"I don't think we'll ever understand exactly why. She knew she couldn't raise you and I suppose she didn't want your father standing in the way of her freedom. Perhaps she worried he'd try to stop her from bringing you to live with me."
"I'm glad she did bring me here... I'm glad you were the one raising me." Theda responded, her breathing becoming heavy. "But why? Why obliviate him? To make him forget me... Didn't she know how much that would hurt me? Didn't she care?"
"Theda, dear... I told you this because I believe you have a right to know, but I don't want this to keep you from living your life. Promise me you won't go looking for your parents. It would only lead to more heartache. You can still make a good life for yourself, and find a way to be happy without them. Finish school. Do what you love. Start your own family. Please. Please promise me."
"Why are you saying these things? You sound like you're ready to die. You can't. You can't leave me, Grandma!"
The memories came in rapid flashes again.
Sylvia took her last breath.
Theda was wearing all black, watching Sylvia's coffin being lowered into the ground.
She was going through Sylvia's things, deciding what to keep and what to give away.
Hugging Douglas goodbye.
Arriving at her cousin's home in Haworth.
Taking evening strolls through Haworth Cemetery.
Standing in front of a full-body mirror, obsessively changing her body, her face, her hair.
"This is your one chance to re-invent yourself." She muttered as she re-sculpted her nose, slimming the sides. "Better make it count." Her hair went black, then pink, then red. "This is not going to be like Ilvermorny." Her breasts grew several cup sizes. "We will make a good first impression." She slimmed her arms, her waist, her thighs. "This time, people are going to like you."
Severus allowed himself to imagine for a moment how his life might have been different if he'd been given the opportunity to start anew at that age. If he could have changed schools, changed his appearance, changed himself.
She was in the Ravenclaw common room. Theda, who was naturally short, curvy, dark-skinned, with black eyes, freckles, and brown curly hair, looked unrecognizable. She was now tall and skinny, with long straight pink hair, doll-like facial features, and porcelain skin. Her classmates were huddled around her, evidently intrigued to have a new student joining their house. It was, after all, unusual to have a new student join them in their 5th year, and the fact that she was American made her all the more interesting.
Even though she looked happy to finally be making friends, seemingly enjoying the attention, Severus could see that there was anxiety in her eyes. Once they had all finished bombarding her with questions, she fell asleep right there on the couch, obviously drained.
The scene changed to Professor Binns' History of Magic classroom. She looked flustered by the amount of people who were in the room. She spotted an empty seat next to another Ravenclaw boy she hadn't met yet. One of the other students threw a balled-up piece of paper at the back of his head, which was met with laughs from their classmates. He did his best to ignore them, keeping his head buried in a book as Theda took her seat beside him. Something changed in Theda's tired eyes as she grabbed the paper and threw it right back at the instigator, smacking them in the face.
"You think it's funny to throw things at people?" She asked, her voice erupting with rage in a way that Severus had never witnessed before. "Grow the fuck up."
The student quickly ceased their laughter and blushed, evidently embarrassed by being scolded by someone as cool as Theda.
"Hi, I'm Theda." She said, holding out her hand to the boy.
"M-Marius." He mumbled, ignoring her outstretched hand.
"What are you reading, Marius?"
He proceeded to show her his book, which focused on the most haunted castles in Europe and the ghosts who occupied them. Theda was very interested, and within minutes the two were smiling and laughing.
They were a year older now, back in the same classroom, but there was a third in their group, a silver-haired boy whom Marius seemed particularly friendly with. They were the only 3 students in the class who were actually enjoying Professor Binns' lecture.
When class was over they went out into the halls, where they were met with a large group of students all gathered around a bulletin board.
"I made it! I'm the new seeker!"
"Don't be sad, Gwen. There's always next year."
"I don't know how I'm going to tell my da' that I didn't make the team... he's going to be so disappointed."
Theda's knees gave out, all the strength drained from her body. Marius caught her before he and Hugh carried her to a secluded spot outside. Hugh gave her some of his pumpkin juice while Marius gently fanned her face. Once she had regained her strength they were back to laughing and joking around.
The scene changed again.
Theda was now blonde, with a perfect hourglass figure and crystal blue eyes. She was in bed, a man's hands unbuttoning her blouse as he hovered over her, leaning in for a deep, sensual kiss. Once her shift was off, he slid his hands around her and began unclasping her bra.
Severus panicked, feeling that this was not something he should be seeing, and immediately returned his mind to his chambers.
"I am so, so sorry." He said nervously but sincerely. "Legilimency is not an exact art. You have to weave in and out of the mind's many folds until you find what you're looking for... I didn't mean to come across something so private."
"It's okay." Theda said, smiling unconvincingly. "That was Douglas. We... That was when... That was our first..."
The floodgates broke and Theda gave way to the tears that so desperately needed to flow. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
Severus didn't know what to do. He wanted to take her in his arms, to let her cry on his shoulder, but fear held him back. He had never been good at comforting people. Plus, what if it only upset her further? What if she was angry with him? What if she pushed him away? He didn't know if he could handle the rejection.
He was still battling with his own mind, trying to decide whether to try to comfort her or not, when she grabbed his cloak, yanking him towards her as she wept onto his chest. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before finally putting his arms around her.
His thoughts raced as he began to process everything he had seen. Since he'd known her, Theda had always seemed so sure of herself. So comfortable in her own skin, happy in her own company, with a clear understanding of who she was and all she wanted to be. How much of that had been an act? It occurred to him as he felt her hot tears soaking through his clothes that, in many ways, he and Theda were the same.