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chapter five;
kisses, friends, and apologies
A couple of drinks in, Marlene and Lily joined the group and they were just waiting for Peter to get there.
When he finally arrived, they were already a bit pissed, and laughing at a story Lily was telling about a patient she had to deal with at the Hospital that had accidentally swallowed a Snitch—how that could happen accidentally James couldn't imagine.
James grinned at his friend as he sat by the head of the table on the boys' side and they all greeted each other. And if it wasn't for the fact that the running bench where he was sitting wasn't big enough for him, Amaya, and Lily, and had them all squeezed in together, he wouldn't have noticed Amaya tense beside him. But he did.
Frowning he looked over at her, the girl that had been laughing and smiling all night, to find her staring at the table, her grip on her glass tight enough her knuckles turned white. James nudged her with his elbow and she blinked up at him—for a fleeting second he saw panic flash in her eyes but it was gone the next.
"You okay, Maya?"
She forced a smile. "Never better, Jamie."
His lips twitched at the nickname but something was clearly going on with her and he wasn't the only one to notice it. As Sirius, Remus, and Peter talked animatedly about the fact Peter's mom was worried he was getting lonely without a girlfriend, James saw Marlene narrow her eyes at Amaya before standing up.
"I need to go to the loo," she announced, before looking at the girls, "Let's go?"
Amaya shot to her feet without hesitation and soon the three girls had slipped off to the bathroom, leaving the four boys behind. James turned to the others and saw Sirius roll his eyes. "Why is it if one of them takes a leak the others have to follow?"
"They're girls, mate," said Peter with a laugh, "There's no understanding them."
Sirius nodded, gesturing around with his glass. "The other day in the library, Amaya snapped at me for breathing."
"You weren't breathing, you were snoring," said Remus, "And I'd snap at you too if you fell asleep while I was reading out loud—"
"That was a convoluted mess—"
"She was reading it so we could understand it—"
"And I do not snore!"
James snorted. "Yes, you do. Why do you think Marlene asked me to teach her silencing charms?"
"So you wouldn't hear us fucking?"
"Like you two care—"
"You lot are helping Amaya?" Peter asked, cutting Remus off, his eyebrows furrowed. "With her task?"
A beat of silence settled between them, and all three of them looked at each other. They'd tried to get Amaya to trust Peter once but they didn't insist on it lest she kicked them out of the mission too. James winced. They shouldn't have mentioned anything.
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, we are. Maya needed extra hands on deck."
"Right." Peter looked at his hands, his face blank, just like when he played poker, no true emotion passing through his mask. "What about me? I could help."
"We know, mate," said Sirius, "But Maya—"
"She doesn't like me."
"That's not true—"
Peter shut James up with a look. "She left the table as soon as I got here."
"To be fair, Marlene needed the loo," Remus pointed out, "They're like a flock."
Peter looked dubious at them and Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Worry not, Wormy. We'll talk to them. We know what a good asset you could be to the mission—"
"What mission?" Peter asked bitterly. "It's so secretive I doubt it's even real. I feel like you lot are pulling my leg."
"It's real, we just can't say anything," said Remus, "We promised Amaya."
"I'm your best friend."
"Which is why we're going to talk to her." James shrugged. "It's not up to us."
"You're only saying that because you fancy her," said Peter.
And James didn't deny it. He fucking stuttered when she kissed him that morning. Not even a full-on kiss, just a press of her soft lips against his. He was done for. "Look, we'll try and convince her to let you in on the mission."
"Yeah, she can't say no to this face," said Sirius with a grin and he laughed when James scowled at him.
The girls returned soon and the way went on with a lot of drinking and laughing and they only decided to head home because Tom, the owner, threw them out because he had to close down the pub.
James was the most sober person around by the end of the night after he decided not to drink more when he noticed Amaya had no intention of stopping anytime soon.
Sirius went to take Marlene and Lily home, with the possibility of just crashing there and Remus made sure Peter got home before going back to Potter Manor. James and Amaya went home together, the latter swaying her way inside the house, with James amusedly watching her.
When they got to the living room she tripped over the rug and he caught her by the waist as she giggled. She looked up at him, with twinkling eyes, and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him.
"I had fun," she whispered with another laugh and James grinned as he hugged her back.
"I know, you drank all of Tom's drinks."
She pulled away to look at him with narrowed eyes. "Marlene had at least half."
"Alright, you get the other."
"No, no," she said, her Spanish accent rolling off her tongue as she spoke, "Moony was pissed."
"And you?"
"I'm bien," she blinked up at him. "Estoy maravillosamente bien."
"Yeah," James drawled in amusement, faintly aware of what she meant but purely out of context and mostly some familiarity with the words. She was fine, was what she said, which was a fucking lie, the girl was hanging onto him like she couldn't stand on her own.
Silence passed between them and he noticed her looking at his lips. "Quiero...," She leaned in closer, "¿Puedo besarte?"
James' eyes fell to her lips, and before he could ask what she meant, or ask her to keep speaking because her voice was like honey, she closed the gap between them. Her hand buried his hair and pulled him closer, and out of instinct, James kissed her back.
Her lips were soft against his, and he couldn't help but tug her impossibly closer. She was intoxicating, absolutely addicting her—kissing her felt like magic, and James wasn't sure if it was his slightly grown awareness of magic or just the way Maya messed with his head. Her tongue swept over his bottom lip, and James groaned against her lips, parting his own, their tongues brushing against each other.
She tasted like magic, but he could also taste the alcohol from the night. Thankfully his brain decided to start working again in the next moment and, with the surprise gone, he pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers as he tried to catch his breath.
"We can't," he rasped.
Amaya shook her head, tugging on his hair slightly as she tried to kiss him again to no avail. "Why not?" she asked, her voice on the verge of pleading, and James had to mentally slap himself awake, and resist the urge to give her what she wanted.
He was raised better than that. Amaya was drunk and even if she did want to kiss him sober, right now wasn't the time to do it. She would regret it, he was sure of it. She'd go back to ignoring whatever was happening between them. Go back to ignoring him.
And now that he'd come to terms with how he felt for her he couldn't play that game with her. She either wanted him or didn't, but he refused to pretend nothing happened the next day.
"You're drunk, Maya." He detangled himself from her and Amaya looked away. With a sigh, he grabbed her hand and tugged her along with him. "Come on, darling, let's get you to bed."
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she walked with him, "I forgot it was bad manners to kiss an intoxicated person."
His lips tugged up. "You did nothing wrong."
When they got to the hallway of their rooms, she slumped against her door. "I need a sober up," she drawled, hazily blinking up at him.
Amused, he answered, "They're in the cupboard behind the mirror in the bathroom."
"That opens?"
He chuckled. "Yeah. Mum stashes a few potions inside just in case. Nothing strong though. Mostly for hangovers and stomach pains."
"Oh. Vale. Thank you."
He nodded about to go into his room when Amaya spoke up.
"James?" He turned back to see her tilting her head at him, a bittersweet smile on her lips. "You're my best friend, you know that?"
His heart flipped. James swallowed a lump in his throat and forced himself to smile. "Yeah?"
She hummed in confirmation, her smile growing dopey. "You're the best friend I've ever had. Given I didn't have any before I came here, but yeah."
"You're my best friend, too, Maya."
Amaya rolled her eyes. "Liar."
"I'm serious."
"No. You're James."
He snorted, shaking his head at the girl. "I'm not kidding then. You're my best friend."
"What about your marauders?"
He shrugged. "I didn't realize what a bunch of losers they were until I met you."
She grinned, nodding in agreement. "I'm amazing."
"You are."
"You're kind of amazing too."
"How generous."
She shrugged, standing up straighter as she opened her door. "Night, Jamie."
Before she could slip inside her room, James stopped her. "Will you sleep alright?"
Amaya shrugged. "Yeah, don't worry about me."
He was still worried. But not wanting to make her uncomfortable by suggesting that, hey, maybe they should sleep together again because she said she slept wonderfully and he never slept better.
Because that way he could make sure he'd keep her safe. But he'd already turned her down that night and had been shoved into the friend zone. He didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of her.
"Alright. Good night, Maya."
She smiled and slipped inside her room, closing the door. James didn't know how much time he spent staring at her door, but it was enough time for Sirius to come back and roll his eyes at him.
"You're worse with her than you were with Lily," he commented as he passed by James walking to his room.
James followed him, hoping this would be the time they'd sit down and talk. "Am not. I was a prick with Lily."
"Yeah, I know," said Sirius as he threw his jacket on the back of his chair, and slumped down on the bed. "But you're not a prick with Amaya. Why is that?"
"She'd hate it."
And he was scared. Not that he wanted to pursue her like he did Lily, he'd grown out of it, he knew what a prat he had been, but he was scared of pursuing Amaya. Not because he was nervous and neither because he wasn't brave but because the thought of losing her made him feel sick in the stomach, and he was scared that if he pushed too hard she'd push him away.
"Lily hated it," Sirius pointed out.
"Well, I didn't care did I? I was an arrogant little shit. I convinced myself she was in love with me."
Sirius let out a laugh. "I know. Sometimes I wished I could hit you beside the head so you'd stop being an infatuated prat. It was irritating."
"You did hit me."
"Oh. Must've forgotten."
James rolled his eyes sitting next to Sirius on the bed and laying back, staring up at the ceiling. "I want Amaya to, I want her to trust me. I want her to be comfortable around me."
"Do you want her to love you?"
James shrugged. "I wouldn't be opposed to that."
"And if she doesn't?"
"I just want her happy." James sighed. "I'll take anything she's willing to give me."
Sirius lay down beside him. "I know you think that sounds romantic, but it's not."
"What?"
"You're saying you're a rug she can walk all over. That if she broke your heart or fucked you over, you'd thank her for it."
"Yeah? Wouldn't you let Marlene walk all over you too?"
Sirius didn't answer and James let out a laugh. "We're fucking pathetic."
"I think you mean romantic," drawled Sirius.
And for some reason, both of them burst out laughing.
James remembered when they were in the First Year, they'd both grimaced at the idea of girls and how bossy they were and now the right girl only had to breathe and they'd do anything for them.
It was surprising for Sirius to have fallen for Marlene, even if they hadn't made anything official or he believed he wasn't worth it and had to get through his shit first. And though most people would say it wasn't surprising for James to be like that, Sirius was right when he said he was different with Amaya than he was with Lily.
When Lily asked him to stop pestering him, James only grinned and kept asking her out like a fucking annoying prick with no boundaries. If Amaya told him she didn't want to see him again, James would be devastated, but he'd listen—he was starting to think he would do anything for the girl.
And perhaps that was toxic, and not smart considering all the issues Amaya had from her past and how guarded she was. But James was never really smart when it came to girls, was he? Like Amaya liked to tell him, he was an idiot.
When they calmed down, Sirius sighed. "Alright. I'm ready to listen."
And so James told him everything like he should've done before. He told him about the talk he had with Lily—Sirius threatened to go beat up Snivellous, and James told him he'd said the same and Lily was far from fond of that idea.
James told him about visiting Dumbledore at Hogwarts, the Head Boy plan, and how the Headmaster still hadn't answered to tell him whether Regulus had accepted the offer or not, whether he was staying in the Slytherin Common room or at the Head's Quarters.
"I was trying to get you good news to go along so you wouldn't jump to conclusions and hate Regulus," James finished.
Sirius was silent for a few moments and finally, he let out a shaky breath. "You know... I did hate him. For the first few days. I wanted to kill the little fucker."
"But?"
"But then I thought about the Reggie I used to know. He wouldn't hurt a fly, he wouldn't even hurt that little shit, Kreacher." Sirius swallowed audibly. "He must be scared shitless."
"If Dumbledore arranges a meeting—"
"I'll go."
"And if Regulus is really on their side—"
"I'll kill him?"
James snorted. "Yeah. Just know you're not alone, mate, you have a family here."
"I know, Prongs."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"I'm sorry I was a cunt."
James shrugged. "I'm used to it."
Sirius shoved him off the bed and James face-planted on the floor. "Git," his friend muttered and James laughed.
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