TW: SH
As Geto felt how the sun touched his skin, he realised he had to waked up. He noticed that he was centimeters apart from Satorus' chest, just the bare minimum space he needed to breathe. He remembered what happened last night. He could not stand seeing Satoru after how he begged him like night. Not because it felt unnecessarily good for him, but because he was afraid of how he could approach Gojo from now on. As he tried to move, he soon felt a sharp pain in his hips. It didn't matter, he had to go quickly. Geto tried to move as slowly and quietly as he could, so it wouldn't wake up Satoru. He thought to himself he could not dare see him. He felt disgusted as he broke up the friendship they had.
He was already at a mission they had assigned him. From a long time ago, they had been assigning him and Satoru different missions. Time passed, and he completed his mission. However, he no longer had the spark to continue with the missions. The only person that made him feel safe and complete probably did not care much about what had they done. Even though it pained Geto acknowledging he genuinely thought last night was special, he knew deep down that Gojo did not think the same about it.
Gojo woke up, trying to hug Geto, but he noticed there was nothing. He quickly got up, worried about where he could be. He began looking out for him, desperately. He searched for several times, even though his apartment was small.
-"Suguru. Suguru please stop hiding. Let's talk about it."-Gojo said with tears starting to form on his eyes.
-"Suguru? "-Gojo said.
He noticed he was gone, without leaving a text, a note, or even a hug.
Gojo knew he was seen as the strongest sorcerer, because he was. He always had to be strong and play it cool. He did not have to let everyone see how he would get depressed because each mission became dull and meaningless without Geto. He realised this after a long time. Gojo was hopping everything would get back to how it was. He thought that they were getting back to how close they were. Yes, he knew he was the strongest, but he was the weakest if he didn't have Geto to his side.
Eventually, Gojo got ready and went to the mission they had assigned him. It was winter, it was raining, it was cold. He killed several curses that day, for everyone around him, it was outstanding, something only Satoru Gojo could do, but it didn't matter anymore if Geto did not speak to him. Damn, Satoru knew Geto to well, to the point of knowing he did not want to speak to him, for a long time. After he was done, he went to grab lunch, saying goodbye to everyone with a grin of his face. It seemed genuine, but Geto would know it was not. He decided to go drink coffee, he was not hungry. As he entered he convenience store, he saw someone with black hair in a bun. He felt his heart pounding; Suguru. As he ran to catch him, he noticed it was a tall woman with a disgusted look in her face. Gojo breathed. He would have rather not have had sex with Suguru if it meant he would not know anything about him again.
Geto was getting on the train. He had to go back home, where he was alone. He opened the door and was greeted with the extreme coldness and darkness of his place. It was not as dark and cold, but without Gojo, it felt that way. He lied on the couch, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't. There was no longer point in saving people anymore after what had happened to Riko. He should be worried about saving humanity, he should be worried about texting and fixing things with Satoru, but he did not want to. He no longer wanted to keep living like this anymore. He sighed, he could not even cry.
Days passed, winter went by. Geto noticed he had eye bags under his eyes, he kept loosing weight. He wanted to knock Satorus' door one more time and try to fix everything. That night, he was invited to a party in a penthouse of some girl. He accepted to go just because he knew he would get depressed being alone once again at his house. He tried his best to brighten up his mood, and he successfully did. Even if it was temporary, he was feeling good. He felt how the coldness was now rushed through his hair and began running to the building as he laughed with himself. He was greeted by a girl he did not really care. Geto was talking with some blond guy with dark eyes. He might actually give himself a new opportunity. They were chatting, and this new guy was surprisingly funny. He invited Geto to get some drinks.
-"Hey. I am really liking this night. I actually need some air, wanna go smoke?"-Geto said playfully.
-"I like this night as well, but I like you even more. But I really do not like smoking. I would be waiting for you here"-The blond guy said with a flirty smile on his face.
Geto went to the terrace of the building. He took a cigarette and began smoking his problems away. It was a beautiful night. A few seconds later, he heard people laughing.
-"Fuck. The least thing I need right now is for people to come here right now"-He whispered.
He still did not care. However, he thought that voice was familiar. He still decided not to look, because they were behind the entrance to it, so he could not see him. The girl was laughing in a flirting tone, it disgusted him, he did not know why. He could not hear the other voice, but it was familiar. He decided to get closer.
-"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"-The man said.
Then it him. Satoru.
He tried to go without making any noise or being seen, but apparently, Satoru noticed him.
-"Would you like to be my girlfriend"-Gojo said to the girl he had been talking for some time already. She had black hair, with purple eyes, and a nice smile. Almost like Suguru, but it was not the same, at all.
During the past month Gojo went to multiple bars. Went out with different girls, and laughed, a lot. But when he arrived home, he tried not to imagine Suguru being the one being with him that night. Each time he had sex with someone, it felt as if me was thrusting into whatever thing. He could not even bring himself to almost moan Getos' name, because all of those experience were nothing but close to that night. However, during the past weeks, there was a girl who was very similar to Geto, but she was to extroverted. She went out and talked a lot, so much it Gojo started to hate it. He like it more when she was quiet, when he could remember how Geto was.
As he asked that question, just so he could lie to himself about having a fake happiness, he saw those strands of black hair. What did he think, they were nothing like this girls hair. What was her name again? It didn't matter. Suguru.
"Suguru please stay"-He thought to himself as he ran trying to catch him. He heard something fell. There he was ;Suguru. He had fallen trying to run. He was crying, he had a depressed look on him. Satoru realized that even though he tried building some fake happiness, he could not lie to himself when he saw the only source of his true happiness. He picked up Suguru in his arms and took him to the terrace once again. The girl was still there. She looked at both of them. She looked how Gojo looked at the man in his arms, with eyes of love, of the first love someone has. She tapped on Gojos' arm and went downstairs. Geto stood up and wipped his tears.
-"How have you been Satoru?"-He said in a cold tone
-"You think I don't know you"-Satoru said in a bitter tone.
-"You think i don't know you want to talk about what happened? You think I don't know how you've been depressed but have not reached to me once?"-Satorus' voice started breaking.
-"You think I did not cry for you this last month?"-He said crying
Geto felt for a split second a need to hug him.
-"Don't come to me with that bullshit. You could have reached to me and you didn't. You did not care Gojo. You were starting a whole new relationship with someone new."-Geto said trying not to cry.
-"Then tell me why you are feeling hurt by me starting a relationship. Weren't we friends?"-Satoru said.
Getos' gaze softened. But it hurt. Fuck, why did it hurt so much.
Friends.
He sighed.
-"Actually I don't know why I am getting mad. We are friends. Aren't we?"-Geto replied
That was not the answer Gojo wanted. It hurt. So fucking much.
-"No. WE SHOULDN'T BE FRIENDS SUGURU."-Gojo said
-"THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY SATORU. That night we only had sex, you pretended nothing happened. What the hell, you did not ask me why I have been looking like shit this past few month. You don't care. I am no longer your fucking friend Gojo, I am nothing to you anymore. "-Geto replied with his voice breaking.
-"WAI-"-Gojo was interrupted
-"Don't. Don't look for me Satoru."-Geto said as he went downstairs. He began running as he kept crying. He began running, desperate for air. He went into his apartment and cried. He cried for what he had been bottling up for months. He began shouting, his cried bitterly. As his breathing began getting back to normal, he remembered; the blade. For a long long time, he did not cut himself. From the moment he became friends with Satoru, he did not want him to see his scars and feel disgusted by him.
Fuck it. He grabbed the blade and passed it through his wrist. He kept crying, but he was longer thinking about Gojo. He was too tired.
Gojo stayed at the terrace. He saw the lights of the buildings. Suguru was right. He did not ask him once how he was feeling. He did want to do it because he thought it would make things awkward. He genuinely wanted, at that moment, to pretend everything was back to how it used to. He laid on the concrete floor. He felt how he could no longer stand this lifestyle.
-"Suguru. I am scared"-Gojo said as he cried himself to sleep.
Both woke up at the next day. Something was different.
What had happened to them ?