𝘈𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘢
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Waking up was a series of events.
I had come to a few times before I finally woke up. But I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. The first time I came to, I heard Steve, Dante, and Enzo talking, something about taking down Papa. I wanted to wake up, I wanted them to know I was okay, but when I commanded, no begged my eyelids to open they wouldn't budge. They were so heavy, and eventually, the noise muted around me, sealing me off in another world, in another land, in a place I was the only occupant, and I was terrified, so terrified. But then everything went dark, completely dark, so dark it was almost calming and I was gone again.
The second time I was conscious, was just minutes before my heart stopped. I felt strange, like my chest was seizing up and I couldn't pull air into my lungs. I felt heavy like an elephant had sat on my chest. I was trying to move my body, to ask for help, but nothing was working. I started panicking, what if no one was close by? What if I was in the room by myself? Would no one check on me? Was I going to die alone, my worst fear? I thought the panic would at least kickstart my heart, but it didn't and I could hear the slow beat in my ears. And then there was an explosion of white and I was everywhere and nowhere at once. I was screaming but crying in relief because I was no longer in pain. I was air and wind and everything in between, I was free. But I was crying because I'll never see Steve again.
And then it was like someone hit rewind, and I was slammed back into my body with my heart beating and someone crying, but I was tired, I was hurting, and darkness took over again.
The third time, I was conscious only by muffled hearing, but I could finally feel my limbs. I could feel the delicate weight of someone's hand in mine. And then I heard Natasha, telling me all about the new enforcers Steve had hired around her property. How she had been monitoring my father to make sure he couldn't hurt me, how she had instilled a safety plan to get my mamma and nana out of his grasp. And then she went quiet and I wanted to sob. I wanted to beg her, Natasha please keep talking, I wanted to say, please give me something to hold onto so I don't leave again, I'm scared, I want to live. But I couldn't, I couldn't open my mouth to speak, and then I realized my fingers must have twitched because I was holding her hand tighter, squeezing it almost. "Aurora," She whispered, and then I heard a chair drag across the linoleum and her frantically breathing. "Steve," She croaked and I realized she must have looked for a phone, or something to call him, "Come back now," She was crying, "Her fingers moved, she's waking up." And then before I could hear anything else, I faded into darkness, screaming into the endless void at the cruel gods doing this to me.
The fourth, and final time I came to, I could hear everything so clearly. Before it was muddled like I was underwater, I could make out words but hardly the tone. Now I could hear the incessant beeping of the machines next to me. I could feel my entire body, the IVs attached to me, I could feel the sheets scratching across my legs. I could identify the heavy weight of Steve's hand in mine. The calloused skin was so comforting after so long without life. I could feel the first tear slide down my cheek. I was alive. I won. I was alive and it wasn't a joke. I was breathing, my heart wasn't giving up, and my brain kept fighting. This time I begged for my eyelids to open, and when they did, I was blinded by the white light of the hospital ceiling, and a quiet sob broke from my lips. I won, my body won. I wasn't dead. I couldn't stop chanting that. I couldn't stop telling myself I won, I was alive.
And then I slowly turned my head, smiling when I saw Steve folded up in a chair next to the bed, his hand in mine as he slept. I ran my thumb over the back of his hand, the beautiful rose that he got for his mother gracing my vision. The vision I had missed so much. I studied every part of his exposed body, loving him more every second. And then I saw what he was clutching in his free hand, my purple elephant, Nelly. And a smile broke out in my mouth, I needed to talk to him. So for the first time in god knows how long, I parted my lips, and spoke, "Steve."
He jolted, sitting up immediately and searching the room for who called his name. And when he relaxed, he glanced at me, and looked away, only to snap his head back to me. "You're awake," his eyes filled with tears instantly, "Oh my god you're awake, you're awake." I grinned, watching him set the elephant next to me before he was standing up, hovering over me and cupping my face. "She wasn't lying, you were waking up." Tears were spilling down Steve's cheeks and I lifted my hands, using my thumbs to wipe away his tears, "I love you," he kept chanting, "I love you, I love you Aurora." I smiled, and then his mouth descended on mine, kissing me so softly but showing every single inch of his pain. And I swallowed it all, I wanted all of Steve forever. His lips coaxed mine open, sliding his tongue into my mouth and tangling his tongue with mine. This, I thought, This is why I fought to come back, I fought for us, for Steve.
There was a flurry of doctors coming in after Steve alerted them of my awakening, I was poked, prodded, asked if I could sit up, and cried in relief when I did, saw the incision mark and flinched at the imperfection on my body, but then relaxed because it was the reason I was alive. I was told of the muscle reconstruction surgeries I've had, how they reconstructed the lung my father punctured, and how now that I was awake, my life expectancy was that of what it was before. I would be healthy, I'd have to go to more doctor visits over the years but I would be able to have a full life.
And after the doctors and nurses left, Steve shifted me over in the bed, climbing in next to me and wrapping me in his arms. I felt safe, I felt loved. His lips pressed to the top of my head and I heard him murmur, "I was so scared you weren't going to come back to me Aurora."
So I smiled, curling further into Steve, as far as my IVs would let me, "I was always going to come back, I promise."
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"Glad to see you're awake, Mia Cara."
I glanced up from where I was laying on Steve's chest, his shirt unbuttoned so I could feel his skin, something I needed after being away from him for so long, and he needed it to, because I could feel the tension leave his body when my cheek rested in the center of his chest, my fingers tracing all the delicate designs resting on his chest. "Hi Bucky," I breathed out, pushing off of Steve's body only to be wrapped in Bucky's strong embrace. It was warm, friendly, reminding me that I was finally home.
Home, these people, these wonderful but broken people, were my home.
And then two more pairs of footsteps entered my room, and Steve gripped my thighs, pulling me back to him and away from my two brothers. The brothers who looked at me with so much sorrow that it made my breath shorten. "Aurora," Steve panicked when he heard the way my breath hitched, "Bucky go-"
"No," I whispered, shaking my head, "I'm okay, I'm just surprised. I didn't expect to see you two."
"Can we have a moment alone?" Dante looked at Steve, "With our sister, please."
Steve tightened his grip on me and I sunk into his warmth, letting his bare chest press against my back, "No, you're not trusted with her yet," Steve's voice came out as a snarl, so cold, so dangerous I could almost see them slice, no, filet my brothers open, their beating hearts may as well be in Steve's hand to crush with the way their faces fell. And I felt the guilt, their guilt, it was so palpable, almost a solid form surrounding me. "If you need to say anything, you say it here, in front of us. You two will never be alone with her again, not for as long as I live."
I waited for the anger to come from me, but relief flooded my system, I wanted Steve's protection, his jealousy, I wanted him to never let anything hurt me again. Even him. And then Steve added, "What she says, anything she says, is law in my family, in my world, bow to me and you bow to her," spoken like the true king of New York, "You yield to me, you absolutely yield to her, if she doesn't want to speak to you, she has no obligation. You ask her, before you speak."
"May we speak?" And I nodded, blowing out a breath when Steve's icy glare settled on them.
Dante and Enzo shuttered, and instead of shrinking back like I used to, I sat up straighter, holding the gaze of a man I used to worship, "We owe you so many apologies, we don't even know where to start." That was an understatement, "We've humiliated you, we've hunted you, tormented you, kidnapped you, blindly following Angelo," I felt my brows drop in confusion, my brothers had never mentioned my father as anything other than Papá, but I refused to say anything, "We failed you when you needed us most, and instead of being brave, we coward, we had no idea Angelo would shoot you, we swear," Dante looked ashen when he looked at my chest, where the new scare peaked above the hospital gown, "We're sorry Aurora, so sorry you can't even imagine, please, please let us in again."
The room was deathly silent, everyone waiting to see what I would do, what I would say, if I would blindly accept the words my brothers spoke, as if I would believe them again after everything they did to me. "You're wrong Enzo," Steve wrapped his arms completely around my waist, pulling me between his spread thighs, "I haven't needed any of you for years, I grew up alone, I loved my family alone, I was abandoned by my family alone," I rolled my shoulders, keeping my gaze on my brothers, and I knew they cowered back at the indifference on my face, "And while I should be angry, while I should hate you both, I do nothing but pity you, so, I do not accept your apology now, but I will one day, a day where I feel like I can completely trust you, and I admire that you swallowed your ego to apologize, but if you would leave, so I can spend time with my family, I would appreciate it."
I knew the blow landed when my brothers recoiled back, "We deserve that," was all that Dante said.
"I'll call for you when Aurora is well enough for us to continue our takedown of Angelo," Steve pressed his mouth against my neck again, a smile growing as I sunk into him further, I wanted to melt into him, to be part of him, I never wanted to leave him again. "Until then, keep up your front." Dante and Enzo nodded, before stepping out of the room and walking away.
"Your family huh?" Steve grinned against the skin of my neck, peppering kisses up the skin, "Does that mean you'll come home with me?"
The weight of the question hung heavy in the air, because when I was taken, Steve and I were still fractured, still broken, and still healing. I hadn't hesitated to sit down on his lap and take the bullet I knew was going to be intended for me, even if I wasn't the target, it was meant to be a reminder that I was always below the men in my world. Well, everyone but Steve. I felt him thrash, the panic rise, and I watched him break before I left consciousness. He loved me, and he said the words, he said them again now. And when I looked up, Bucky stood in the corner of the room, all dominate male enforcer of him, but his eyes were soft, a quiet plead. Family, these people were my family, and family makes mistakes, but they also forgive.
So, I turned my head slightly, letting Steve kiss me, all broken pieces fusing together, two people becoming one in every way that mattered, and when he pulled away, pressing his forehead against mine, I smiled.
"Yeah, I want to come home."
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